Troubled Kid
by mybookboyfriendsaresosexy
Summary: When Jace makes the biggest mistake of his life, he knows people will never look at him the same again. They will hate him and they will want him to suffer for what he did. How can he live with himself? One mistake, one cheerleader, one setup, one lie, one love.They all need to come together to find the truth. Clace. Rated M for sexual content, language & violence. AU/OOC.
1. Everybody & Nobody

**This is a new story I've thought of; it's a "The Mortal Instruments" story :) I will try to update my other stories but I just want to start this story.**

**This story's rating is M for swearing, sexual content & violence.**

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**I really wanted to write a different story compared to all the others out there on fan fiction, this is really different to most stories so I hope you're not to put off and you like it! Give it a try ;)**

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**I don't own anything not the songs or characters or anything remotely similar, the idea is just mine.**

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**Thank you to my Beta; lightlacedwithbeauty :) she did a brilliant job helping me out with my chapter ****and I am deeply sorry for her for having to deal with me lol. Thank you so very much lady!**

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**Chapter Songs:**

**B.O.B - Ghost in the Machine**

**Green Day – Boulevard of Broken Dreams**

**Paramore – We Are Broken**

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**Jace**

**...**

**everybody and nobody.**

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I walked through the school hallways feeling the same way I have for the past year. I felt frustrated trying to get these slow as fuck people to move out of the way.

It felt lonely walking down the corridor by myself.

It felt time-consuming, knowing I could be someone else but I'm wasting so much time doing nothing. I let time pass without trying to become the person people say you apparently turn "into" when you finally get into high school; the person you express yourself as the real you, if there is such thing as that.

I do have my talents. I know I do, because I've been told, and people have seen me in action. I just don't show it to anybody anymore.

Am I afraid? I don't know. Insecure? Maybe. Am I broken? Definitely. I hide my face behind my hood. My mother says it's pointless because I have such a beautiful face, but all moms say that about their children, right?

I hide it because people point, whisper, give me those looks when they see it. The scar. I'm sure at one point people thought my face was beautiful. Hell, they probably thought it was gorgeous.

I had boys and girls all over me at one point. But now that scar, that five centimeters scar that starts at the edge of my right eyebrow to the beginning of my right cheek, reminds me, reminds everyone, what I did l two years ago. It warns them to stay away.

I destroyed my entire life just because of some petty hate. Not one day passes that I don't forget what happened.

I've started my first day as a junior, halfway through high school. Just two more years left.

I can't wait to leave everything behind and move to another state to hopefully attend my dream university, Stanford. Except, it makes me feel guilty to think I get to escape and live life and he never will.

I doubt I'll get in though. Sure, I have the grades, but as soon as they get their hands on my information, my police record, see the news reports, all the articles about what happened, they'll say that they can't accept me.

I'll probably end up going to a community college and have to suffer with the rest of the drop-outs, all because of that stupid night.

I was a somebody, but now I'm a nobody. It's ironic because I'm treated like a nobody yet everyone knows exactly who I am.

Two years ago, the first year of high school was a really good start to my high school life. I was carefree, ready to take on the world, ready to take on whatever high school had to throw at me. I couldn't even care about anything.

I didn't care about being popular, it just happened. I was a carefree idiot; I didn't expect to be popular, of course, and I just wanted a hot girlfriend and to be able to eat a lot of food without getting fat. Guys care about that shit too. I just didn't expect the amount of attention I actually got.

I walked past the people I once called my friends. I remember when people always want to high-five while walking past in the hallway. Now people like to high-five my face. I had become successful and the quarterback of the football team without really trying. People envied me for it. I didn't really want people to but they did anyways. I was so pumped to start high school, unlike everyone else I knew. I wasn't nervous. I was ready to take it all on. Honestly, what is there to be nervous about? It's just high school.

I became a person who was friends with everyone. My friends and I made fun of the dorks. I had joined all the clubs. People acknowledged me in the hallways by giving me high-fives. Soon enough, I became eye-candy as well to the all the girls. I could just take my pick. Life was awesome.

It was all perfect. Funny how things go from perfect to disaster, how you can go from known to unknown, from best friends to strangers, and worst of all from loved to hated, despised.

My life is a fucking tragedy. The funniest part of it all is? There's a girl involved. Always a damn girl.

I wish I knew her before the accident, maybe I could have explained to her what happened.

But, nobody believed me. Why would she?

She's a cheerleader and now before you begin to judge, she's not your average cheerleader. She is nothing like the rest of them. She never picks on anybody: she's sweet; she's an angel and nothing like the rest of them. She's a bundle of cuteness. She's also my sister's best friend. So even though I never knew her, I still saw her around in my younger years, I just didn't realize how important she would become to me. She was always there in the background, but now she is the headline of my life.

She didn't fit in my plan at all. She wasn't popular when we started school so therefore she wasn't someone I could consider to be friends with.

She's short, like 5 feet. She's got fiery hair; literally she caught it on fire once in the science labs during freshmen year.

I remember that day clearly because her nerdy best friend had started screaming like a girl meeting Justin Bieber. He had yelled for the professor, while jumping on the spot and flailing his arms about…it was definitely a sight to see.

The girl had just laughed and ducked her head underneath the faucet and washed it out.

Back then I didn't think much of the scene, I didn't know the girl, and if I'm being honest, her and her nerd friend weren't exactly popular, so I didn't bother.

Anyway, her hair…it's bright red, it's like looking straight into the sun, just less painful.

She has pale, creamy skin begging for touch.

My fingers twitch at the idea of coming into contact with it, especially when she's wearing that sexy cheerleading uniform with the short skirt, legs leading to hidden skin that makes my fingers itch like crazy…okay I got to stop now before I begin to sound like a pervert…well I guess it's a bit too late for that.

With her hair and that attitude of hers, there's a reason why she's called Fire Wire, not only is her hair fiery, but so is her attitude.

She has freckles. Freckles. You'd think they would be a turn off but they aren't. They just make her even more different from everyone else, in a good way.

I remember in our freshmen year she was toothpick thin, but over the years she has filled in nicely everywhere. She is beautiful.

But, she knows everything. She's heard the story; so she looks at me the way everyone else does. She doesn't know me, but she knows the story and she wants nothing to do with a troubled kid like me.

Could anything be worse than that? Oh yes. I'm constantly bothered by assholes who hate me, people I once considered my friends.

Girls found me hot. I used to have one hanging on each of my arms. They loved me; I was the star of the school. But, I lost that status after he died. I got kicked off the team and the girls disappeared too.

I had blond hair that I knew stuck up in all the right places. I would know because girls used to be able to never stop tugging on my locks.

My body was hard but smooth in all the right places. People think that I've had sex with a lot of girls, but the truth is I'm a virgin.

Yeah, that's right.

Jace Herondale is a virgin.

Girls loved my lips. I'm sure I made a girl pass out once from my smirk.

They love the lip ring. That's right; I've got a lip ring. Rebel, right? The girls used to love sucking on it. I'm sure they still find me hot, they just all hate me.

The principal had told me I was lucky to still be at the school, because there was no evidence I was there so they couldn't take me to prison. But everyone knows the truth anyway and ever since the students at the school decided to make my life a living hell.

The only person who believed me was my mother, but even she had her doubts at times and that's when our arguments were at their worst.

Yes, there were a lot of girls. However, this girl was _the girl._ Oh I wanted her so bad, Clary Fray. That was her name. Funny how she started school off being a nobody but now everybody knew her. I started off being popular but now I was the nobody.

Well there you have it, my life story, well in very brief detail anyway...

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**…**

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I finally reached my locker, which has its usual "murderer" paint sprayed across it.

How I wish we actually changed lockers every year so people didn't know which one was mine until after the year started.

I twisted in my locker combination and opened it. I planned on putting my books in there, but suddenly somebody cupped their hand around the back of my neck and bashed it against my locker, repeatedly.

"Hey." Bang. "Loser." Bang. "Why." Bang. "Do you bother?" Bang. "Coming back." Bang.

Sebastian Verlac, the greatest asshole. I hate him so much, especially because he was going out with Clary, _my _Clary. He was also a complete tool.

When he stopped banging I lifted my head and raised my fingers to my temples to rub them.

"It's state law, if you don't go to school, you go to jail, dumbass." I said, rolling my eyes.

Suddenly all my personal space filled up. "Trying to act funny with me? Don't be funny with me; I'll kick your ass, Herondale." He said viciously, leaning into my face, trying to look menacing. "Anyway, you don't need to miss school to go to jail; you already have a first class ticket there, don't you? A jail cell already waiting with your name on it."

He should know by now his or anybody else's shit doesn't faze me anymore. Then suddenly Sebastian's head was gone from my personal space. Thank God.

"I leave you alone for five seconds and you already jump on to the next guy you want to beat the crap out of? God-damn Sebastian, could you not?" A girl shrieked at him.

I already knew who it was before looking over his shoulder to see at her glare. Clary Fray. I could recognize that voice anywhere. God she was still beautiful.

Her hair was lighter; probably from being in the sun all summer whereas someone like me spent summer in Canada, with my brother Alec and his fiancé, Magnus.

"Aww come on baby, it's just Herondale. You know we love taking away his sunshine." Verlac said smirking.

Haha, so funny.

"How about I stick your head where the Sun doesn't shine?" I spat at him.

"Oh now, now Herondale, let's not get into it. You don't want to end up killing somebody else, do you?" Verlac asked with a gleam in his mischievous eyes.

"You're fucking dead." I whispered, but loud enough for the people standing in the now silent hallway to hear.

"Bring it on, bitch." Sebastian growled.

"No! Guys, stop! Sebastian, let's go!" Clary pleaded. Her eyes were so wide and frightened.

What was she even doing with an ass like him? I'm probably scaring her too now.

"Clare Bear, how about you go find the other cheerleaders and go have your little gossip chats, huh? Let the men deal with this stuff." Sebastian tone turned sugary, as if he was babying Clary.

Both Clary and I narrowed our eyes to him.

Who the hell did he think he was?

Clary raised an eyebrow at him and then grabbed him by the arm and said, "No. Go now." He stomped off like a little kid being told off by his mom.

She looked to me. "I'm sorry about him, he's sometimes a bit of a…" she bit her lip trying to find the right word to say. I wish I was biting it instead.

"Asshole?" I finished for her while raising the side of my mouth to a half smirk.

She gave me a smile, and then glanced at me up and down for a little longer than a second before he gaze settled on my face.

I raised an inquiring eyebrow at her.

She blushed and it spread from her cheeks and down her neck.

God I loved it when she blushed. It was so hot.

"Err, yeah, bye," she spluttered out before jogging off to catch up with Mr. Stompy Sebastian.

Still got it.

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**Okay introduction done! This is a complicated story that will take a few chapters to really get into the plot, I hope you can stick through with me! I hope you like the differences and review and follow! ;D**


	2. My Fairy Tale

**Glad to see people are following and reviewing and favourite-ing my story :) I basically have this whole story planned and I've written a basic outline for it, I have everything figured out I just need to turn the chapters into life, If it has everything I want in the story, it will have at least 30 chapters, maybe even less if I run out of ideas to add to my original plot. I am so excited about this story :D**

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_**He **_**is somebody who died, everybody believes it was Jace, even Jace himself. But was it really? Yep it was. That is why he gets tormented in the school and that's what he is talking about in the first chapter. In the story the person who died will be referred as** _**He. **_**You will find out later who died in the later chapters.**

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******Thank you to ellimac0717 for betaing this chapter! :)**

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**I don't own anything not the songs or characters or anything remotely similar, the idea is just mine.**

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**Chapter songs:**

**Taylor Swift – Red**

**Paramore – Brick By Boring Brick**

**My Darkest Days – Fucked up Situation (Check out this band, one of my favourites, they're so awesome!)**

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**Clary**

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**my fairy tale.**

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Red.

All I see is red.

On my face and on my head.

Why couldn't I just be blonde or brunette like all the other normal girls?

Pippi Longstocking, Strawberry Shortcake, Fire-wire, I've heard them all.

I'm a pretty ordinary girl.

I started off school a nobody; it was just me and my best friends Simon and Isabelle.

We were really close, we still are and hopefully we always will be.

We were a small circle of friends. We weren't really popular. We were the outcasts and whatnot.

Funny how that's all changed. In my sophomore year Isabelle had convinced me to join the cheerleading squad. I've danced ever since I was seven, but only Izzy and Si knew that.

Isabelle kept going on and _on_ about how good of a dancer I was and how I could really help the cheerleading squad because they were down a member; a girl had who had a broken ankle.

Being the most convincing person that Izzy is, she convinced me to join and ever since then everything has changed.

More girls spoke to me, more _boys _spoke to me and suddenly everyone knew who I was and random people were giving me high fives in the hallways.

Boys never noticed me during my first year, and I didn't mind because there was only one boy who I wanted but he wasn't interested in a loser like me.

You know when you come up with stories in your head that you wish would come true but you knew deep down that they never will because it was just an image you created in your head, something you wanted to actually happen but you know it won't?

I had a story in my head that I would read over and over.

It was about a boy and a girl. The girl was just a plain old loser that didn't dress up or wear wake up. The boy was quarterback, loved by all and admired by hoes. The way they would meet in the story would change contrary to what I was in the mood to envision.

Sometimes he would have accidentally walked into her dance studio looking for directions and stumbled on her dancing and fallen in love with the way her body moved.

Sometimes it was a class project that the two would've been partnered up for, and over time they would have fallen in love with each other.

Other times he was a bad boy and she was an innocent good girl looking to be ruined.

Sometimes my imagination would run wild and I would envision him being a dominant and her, submissive, whips, red room of pain and all.

Yep, even I had my dirty dreams.

But the ending would always be the same; they would fall in love, get married, have _hot _sex and have beautiful kids.

None of them would ever come true though.

That had all changed though, after the incident, after my good friend had died, I stopped thinking about him.

Jace.

Even thinking about him made me catch my breath at times. The fairy tale dream had stopped though, around the time_ he _had died.

When I think back to how I felt about Jace, I think I was in love with him, but after what happened, I don't think I could love anything about him.

He was the spitting image of perfect, what everybody wanted to be, but he ruined that and also ruining the image I had of him.

I never knew him well, even though he was my best friend's brother, but I had heard plenty.

He was a ladies man, best footballer, the sexiest guy I had _ever _laid eyes on. I used to admire him and respect him.

I used to wish I could be his girl.

Some days when I see him walking all alone in the corridors I just want to go up to him and give him a big hug and tell him that it's going to be okay and that even though nobody will forgive him, I am willing to, but I can't do or say that.

He hides his face a lot now. Before he used to hold his head high and now it's always hidden behind his hood. I know why. Everyone does. It's because of the scar Jace has that he got from _that _night. I still think he's the most handsome man in this school, though.

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Now here I am, first day of my junior year, just this year and the next left and I'm out of here.

I pulled on some blue skinny jeans and put on a burgundy knitted top as the weather has turned cold and tied my hair up.

My boyfriend would be here any second to collect me. That's right – Clary Fray has a boyfriend. I eventually filled out and started catching boy's eyes; it was about time as well.

His name was Sebastian. I didn't know if I really liked him; we had just become friends when he had asked and it felt right to say yes.

Sebastian's and my relationship was pretty steady. We had been going out for a long time, but we hadn't gotten so far yet, to certain stages of our relationship, I just wasn't ready for that level yet. It's not that he's never tried to pull the moves out on me because – oh boy – he defiantly has but it just never felt right, like I should be waiting for something else but I don't know what.

I heard a car pull up in my drive. Here we go. I grabbed my bag and headed out the door, not bothering with breakfast, and jumped into Sebastian's car.

"Hey baby," Sebastian said, smiling at me, leaning over the clutch to press his lips against my cheek for a second and then pulling away to start his car up.

"Hey, ready for school?" I asked him.

"Ready as I'll ever be," he said, grinning at me and then turning his eyes back on the road.

We rode in peaceful silence and I rested my head against the window until we finally pulled into the school car park but before Sebastian could step out of the car I grabbed his arm and twisted him towards me and he raised his eyebrow at me.

"Promise me something?" I asked biting my lip.

"Anything." He grinned at me.

"No fights this year, please," I asked pleadingly.

He furrowed his eyebrows at me then relaxed them a second later.

"Sure, baby," he said confidently, wriggling out of my grip and closing the door behind him. Why do I have doubts he won't be able to complete his promise?

We walked together into school, saying hi to the people we recognized. I spotted Simon and Isabelle standing by my locker, smiling at me.

"Guys!" I yelled running into both of their arms.

"Clare Bear!" they yelled back at me, hugging me tightly.

"God, I missed you guys," I squeaked out.

Simon had gone to visit his Grandma in California and Isabelle had gone to France with her mother for the summer.

I had missed them both so much, especially Isabelle; I was always watching out for her ever since _that _night.

Ever since then she had become such a mess, but she had finally restored her life and I was watching over her like hawk. I wasn't going to let anything change that.

She and her brother Jace _always _took separate vacations, ever since the incident. Isabelle had her heart torn apart that day and ever since, her and Jace's relationship was strained.

I still remember that night, the look on Isabelle's face on that stage, the look on her face as _he _told her how he really felt about her that night, the look on her face as I sat with her in her room that night and let her rest her head in my lap as she cried out all night over hearing the loss of _him_.

That was the last time I had seen her cry; ever since then, nothing.

As I listened to Simon and Isabelle drone on and argue about who was going to talk about their brilliant holiday first I couldn't help but turn around to find out what that absolutely _agitating _banging sound was.

No fucking way.

Sebastian had already broken his promise to me. Narrowing my eyebrows together, I stormed off towards Sebastian leaving Simon and Isabelle to their arguing.

I grabbed the back of Sebastian's head and pulled it off whoever he was bothering now.

"I leave you alone for five seconds and you already jump on the next guy you want to beat the crap out of? Goddamn Sebastian could you not?" I shrieked at him.

What is with Sebastian? I asked him for one thing! One thing! Not to fight! The first bell hasn't even ringed yet and he's broken his promise!

What did I honestly expect, from Sebastian nonetheless?

I looked over his shoulder to see who he was bothering this time and my breath hitched when I saw him.

_Jace Herondale._

"Aww come on, baby, it's just Herondale. You know we love taking away his sunshine." Verlac said, smirking at Jace, while Jace just looked like he wanted to throw up all over his smirk.

This wasn't even funny.

"How about I stick your head where the sun doesn't shine?" Jace spat out at him.

"Oh now now Herondale let's not get into it. You don't want to end up killing somebody else, do you?" Sebastian said with a gleam in his dark brown eyes.

"You're fucking dead," Jace whispered loudly enough for the people standing in the now silent hallway to hear.

"Bring it on, bitch," Sebastian growled.

Okay, they were attracting a crowd now. This was bad, and Jace didn't need this.

"No! Guys, stop! Sebastian, come on, let's go!" I pleaded.

God, Jace looked so sexy when he was angry.

No, Clary, you have a boyfriend! You know you can't be with Jace anyways; he doesn't want to be with you, and so doesn't the rest of the school.

You are popular and he is an outcast.

"Clare Bear how about you go find the other cheerleaders and go have your little gossip chats huh? Let the men deal with this stuff," Sebastian said turning his tone sugary. I narrowed my eyes at him.

What the fuck? He never speaks to me like this and now that he is in front of Jace he has to treat me like crap? Hell no.

I raised an eyebrow at him and then grabbed him by the arm and said, "No. Go now."

I then looked at Jace. "I'm sorry about him, he can be a bit of a…" I bit my lip trying to find the right word to say, I wish I knew how to talk to him, I was trying to be quick before anyone noticed I was having a real conversation with him.

"Asshole?" He finished for me while raising the side of his mouth to a half smirk.

Oh God, knees going weak. Goddamn he is so sexy, and so off-limits.

You'd lose everything if you did anything.

Stop, Clary.

I just gave him a smile, and then glanced up at him then all the way down longer than I probably should have.

He raised an inquiring eyebrow at me. I blushed; I could feel it spreading from my cheeks and down my neck.

Got I hated it when I blushed.

"Err yeah, bye," I stuttered out before jogging off to catch up with Sebastian.

I thought I heard him chuckling, but decided against turning back to look at him just in case I did something stupid like jump his bones.

When I finally caught up with Sebastian talking to Simon I grabbed him by the back of his jacket and spun him around.

"What the hell, Clary?" he yelled at me.

"What the hell? _What the hell?_ Erm I don't know, why did you break your promise?!" I yelled at him.

"What promise?" both Simon and Isabelle chimed at the same time.

"Some stupid promise that meant nothing, Clary's just being immature." Sebastian said shrugging me and my promise from him.

"I just asked for one thing, Seb," I whispered before walking away from him but I heard an annoying chuckle which grasped my attention for a moment. I whipped my head around to look at what it was.

"What?" I venomously snapped as a tear slipped from my eye.

Goddamn Sebastian.

It was Jace. He opened his mouth to talk but before he even did I raised my hand to stop him, took a deep breath and walked away.

I was so not in the mood to deal with anyone's bullshit.

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I walked towards the girl's toilets, needing a place where asshole jocks wouldn't be lurking in every corner.

"Why does Herondale bother coming to school? Everyone hates him!" a whiny voice said from the person standing in front of the mirror next to me.

I cocked my eyes to the side to catch a glimpse of Aline Penhallow.

I find it hilarious how back when Jace was popular she was first in line to jump on his dick but now that he's a nobody she's first to hate on him and want him out of the school.

God why do I cheer with these hypocritical sluts, thank God I'm not like any of them. It feels weird to call Jace a nobody to be honest, because everybody knows exactly who he is but they just hate him all now.

"Beats me. His family's rich; they probably paid the school to let him stay," the other cheerleader next to Aline, whose name I can't remember, said.

"Hmm maybe," Aline said, sliding her eyes towards my direction to meet mine.

"Oh hi there Clary, I see you haven't grown much since beginning of summer," she said eyeing me up and down.

"I see you're still a bitch," I said in a sugary tone.

She just shrugged her shoulders at me like she couldn't care less.

"Beats me, Fray, just stay out of my way, we might be on the same team but we aren't friends," she said raising an eyebrow at me.

"Thank God," I whooped, wiping of fake sweat of my forehead.

She just rolled her eyes at me and walked out of the toilets with her friend.

I rolled my own eyes and looked back in the mirror and reached my hand out towards my purse so I could re-apply my lip-gloss but somebody grabbed my hand.

I looked up to meet the eyes of Jace Herondale, in the Girl's toilets. Not awkward at all.

"Jace! What are you doing here?!" I hissed at him.

"Shh," he said pressing one of his fingers against my lips; I had to resist the urge to press a kiss against it.

"I repeat, what are you doing here?" I hissed at him again. "These are the girl's toilets! You can't use these! Unless you have a vagina," I said raising an eyebrow at him.

He just gave me his panty-dropping grin and dropped his finger from my lip, leaned against the toilet stall door. I already missed the feeling of his finger pressed against my lips.

"Chill," he said, raising an eyebrow. "Everyone's gone to that start of school assembly, no one's out here."

Oh crap, assembly!

"I guess I should go to assembly." I wanted to get away from him but I equally wanted to stay right there, less than two footsteps away from him.

He scared me. Being alone with him scared me; I had no idea what he was really like.

"You don't have to go, you know they say the same stuff every year," he said quietly.

I guess I'll just stand here then, in this not comfortable but comfortable silence.

"Soo, you must have come in here for a reason?" I asked after a moment.

"I just," he said closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the door, tendons sticking out of his neck.

God that was sexy.

He looked back down at me. "Nothing. Forget it, but I –erm are you okay? You looked upset," he said pointing to his eye and spreading it across his cheek, to describe the tear falling down cheek motion.

"Oh erm yeah I'm fine," I said looking down at the ground, wishing he wouldn't look at me like that. It made me want to crawl up in one of the toilets in these stalls and flush myself away.

"I saw your argument with Sebasshole, you sure?" he said, raising a blonde brow.

I sucked in a deep breath and chuckled. "Yep" I said popping the 'P'.

The bell rang reminding students that it is time for homeroom.

"You've got to go right?" Jace said looking at me through his lashes.

I gulped.

"Yeah." I gave him a weak smile.

He sighed.

"So should I, girls could walk in any second, don't want them to think I have a vagina." He grinned.

That made me burst out laughing.

Loudly.

He smiled at me sweetly.

He walked towards the door but before he pulled the handle he turned back around, strode to me, and leaned in towards my ear and whispered: "You don't have to be afraid, I wouldn't ever hurt you." He pulled back to look in my probably extremely wide eyes.

Suddenly my hair was flowing around my ears and he had my hair tie in his hand.

"Much better," he whispered and strode back towards the door and left.

Oh God.

What just happened?

Jace is bad news, but why couldn't my heart stop beating so fast? He was so deliciously close, his breath on my ear.

Oh God. A shiver ran down my back and forced me to rise on my toes. I'm being too risky.

It's the first goddamn day, why is Herondale taking an interest in me now?

I just realized today was the first time we really have ever spoken.

No. No way was I letting this distract me. This will be my year and Jace Herondale is not a part of it. We are two different worlds.

Even being caught speaking to Jace could cause serious problems.

He was a big no.

He's a _murderer_, Clary.

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**Long chapter for all the lovely people who followed, reviewed and favourite-d.**


	3. Is Blood Really Thicker Than Water?

**Awwh man I love all you reviewing and following and putting the favourite label on my story! It makes me feel great and confident that this story is actually going somewhere! I love reading your reviews and I have tried my best to reply to all of them :) ****I know we haven't really begun this story and the plot but I need to get all the details & feelings out so you can truly understand my characters & therefore understand and relate to the story better! I thank you for being patient with me and I hope you continue to be patient with me! ****It's great to hear where people think this story is going! But AHA but all of you haven't guessed right! No one knows who 'He' is yet so I'm glad :D but if anyone does guess the right person I'm not telling you if you're right! ****Somebody guessed it was Alec, in the first chapter I had said that Jace went to Alec & Magnus in Canada for the summer so it obviously wasn't Alec. **

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**There's a new character that is coming into the story that is not from the book, she'll be spoken about in the past tense, therefore meaning she is not actually there. She may not confuse or she may, and if she does, good! That's what I planned to do ;) ****I need to discuss an issue, some people were confused when Clary had called Jace a murder in the last chapter which people shouldn't be confused about but let me just explain it again and to talk about Isabelle' involvement in the incident because somebody was confused.**

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**In Jace's first year of school he had a problem with someone who in the story is known as "**_**he**_**", that problem escalated to the highest person and that somebody died. Everybody blames Jace, even Jace believes he did at times and always feels guilty, and because of this Jace lost everything. ****Isabelle's involvement in all of this is that "**_**he**_**" was important to Isabelle, when he died this caused Isabelle a lot of pain causing a huge strain between the siblings because she doesn't know how she feels towards Jace her brother any more. ****Having this all concluded probably gives you a clearer idea of who it could be -_- but oh well, you're going to find out soon anyways ;) maybe :P**

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******Thank you once again to ellimac0717 for helping me beta this chapter! :D**

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**I DON'T OWN ANYTHING, NOT THE SONGS OR CHARACTERS, BUT I OWN ANNA BECAUSE I MADE HER UP & THE STORY PLOT.**

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**Chapter Songs:**

**Sleeping With Sirens – Stomach Tied In Knots (THIS BAND & SONG. JUST OMG. I CANT COPE! Listen to them!)**

**Goo Goo Dolls – Sympathy**

**Blink 182 – I Miss You**

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**Jace**

**...**

**is blood really thicker than water?**

**...**

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...

...

I don't know why I did it.

I know Clary doesn't want anything to do with me, and even if she didn't it just wouldn't happen, but seeing that tear fall out of Clary's eye made something snap inside and I force myself to see if she was okay even if she did tell me to get lost or even worse called me a murderer.

Stupid Sebastian.

Why does he have to be such a little dickhead?

He doesn't even realise how lucky he is to have a girl like Clary in his life and he just treats her like crap.

So yeah I followed her into the girl's toilets; I had waited till everyone had gone to assembly and saw all the girls coming out of the toilets.

As soon as she had realised I was there I saw her change into someone who was not comfortable in the situation she was in.

Goddamn she really is afraid of me.

I wish I could tell her, explain my side of the story, but I guess it really doesn't matter. My side of the story still makes me even guiltier that everyone thinks.

Not a day goes by when I don't think of _him_.

Clary has every reason to hate me, I just wish she didn't.

I wish I could say something back to Sebastian, or punch him in the face. Instead I have to let him bully me and torture me, just like I let everybody else do.

The only reason why I let this happen is because I made a promise to my mother I wouldn't let anyone else be able to say another bad thing about me, to stay out of trouble, to ignore it all and not fight back.

As hard as this was, my mom had a point; I didn't need to give everyone any more reasons to hate me, so I just take everything they throw at me.

My family and I are on such thin strings since the incident; they act so painfully aware of me, always trying to be careful of me, hoping nothing will 'spark' another issue.

They used to look at me like any other family would look at their son/older brother, with adoration and love, but now they look at me with regret and sorrow; they feel sorry for me. Sometimes I think they hate me, but just stick around because they have to, because they're my family and they're stuck with me.

I miss Anna so much, if she was around it would make everything so much easier, she would have believed me, she had so much faith in me.

She loved me; she would have helped me with my grief.

I miss her.

Why do bad things always happen to good people?

I'm not talking about myself because I was in no way good, I'm talking about my Anna, my Annie Bananie, she was so good, so innocent, so perfect, I adored her, everybody did.

Isabelle and I are fraternal twins, as fraternal any twins could be, because we looked so different. Nobody believed we were twins, but they had to considering we were in the same year; a woman can't have two babies in between 9 months right?

She's got black hair, I've got blonde hair; she's got blue eyes, I've got gold eyes. We're both completely different, but we are –_we were _so close. We had that twin connection thing you know?

But that disappeared when _he_ died. We always used to argue being twins, but it was never serious. Why had I lost control _that_ night?

After _he _died, I had left straight away as _he _died on the last day of school. I left for that summer and never had said goodbye to anyone, not even spoken to Isabelle, just to my mother and the police.

I left as soon as possible and never looked back – well, that was, until I had to come back for sophomore year. I arrived a week before school started. No one collected me from the airport; I had taken a taxi alone to house.

When I had walked in, Isabelle was there waiting on the porch steps. it had shocked me as I wasn't expecting her of all people to wait up for me, considering I arrived at 1 am.

She had looked at me like she had no idea who I was, forget being her twin. She never said anything, never brought it up.

She had just looked at me on those porch steps, welcomed me back and went back into the house.

She had changed the past summer; she had cut her hair shorter, so instead of reaching the end of the back, it reached midway, still long but different. Her eyes looked sad; she was nowhere as near as cheery as she used to be. I know that's my fault.

I had left her alone, left her to deal with _him_ being gone all by herself. I took _him_ away from her.

Max, my younger brother, being so innocent and not understanding, had run to me, arms wide open and jumped straight into my arms in the morning.

Bless him, he was the only one who had no idea of the monster I actually was. He was the only one that still looked at me the same.

I hugged him hard that day, not wanting to ever let go or lose the person who still looked up to me.

One day he would stop looking up to me though, once he was old enough to understand what happened that day.

He would look at me just like everyone else does.

He was the only true friend and family member I had left that didn't look at me like I was a walking waste of time/space/anything.

This little kid was the reason I hadn't done something stupid.

I didn't want to give him any more things to find out about me when he is older which will make him look at me any more different from finding out about _him _being dead.

"Max always asks where _he _is, you know. I had to tell him he left town and was never coming back. He's too young to understand the monstrosity of your actions. Max says he misses _him_," Isabelle had said to me that night when she had stopped in the doorway of my bedroom.

"I never meant to get carried away," I had whispered to her that night.

"Well you did, and nothing can change the past now. You can deal with your consequences once we get to school. I want to make one thing clear, Jace Herondale, we might be brother and sister – we are bloody twins – but I have never been so glad in my life then I am now that I look _nothing_ like you. I can never forgive you for what you did. Don't act like you know me any more because you don't know me, not since you left that day. You are so weak, running away from your problems. Yeah you got away with it, how _lucky_ for you. Enjoy your life without me, Jace, without anybody. We may still be family by blood, but that doesn't make a difference. Of course we will still speak when we have to, but otherwise do not speak to me," she said, then sniffed and left.

I had cried that entire night.

...

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**Clary**

**...**

Urgh, Gym. Who created Gym? I want to kill the asshole that forces me to run for an hour straight. I bent over at the knees and took deep breaths.

"C'mon, Shortcake, keep running, otherwise coach is going to be on your ass" Isabelle said, running past me.

"I…can't….do….this," I said gasping deeply.

Isabelle reversed back to be by my side and said, "I know it's the first day and it's bullshit we have to do gym even though we normally get the first lesson off if it's on the first day but you how harsh coach is. She really is just training us because he really wants us to win nationals this year. Ever since Camilla ditched us halfway through last year's nationals finals and we had to forfeit, coach is pushing us. C'mon Clary, do you really want her bitching at you?"

I shuddered at the thought of Miss Silone bitching at me.

She's worse that Sue Sylvester from Glee and that's saying a lot.

So I got back up and carried on running and running with Isabelle at my side.

"Clary?" Isabelle said after a while.

"Yeah?" I asked her.

"Your hair was tied back this morning. Why would you open it for Gym? Isn't it annoying you?" Isabelle asked.

Oh yes. Jace had opened it, and being totally confused at what had happened that morning I had left the toilets without my hair tie and forced to leave it open all day.

"Erm, my hair tie snapped, didn't have a spare," I said casually hoping she wouldn't hear the lie in my voice.

"Oh okay," she said smiling at me, and we both carried on running in silence.

It's not that I don't trust Isabelle, because I do, it's just that ever since the day Jace came back for Sophomore year Isabelle and Jace's relationship has been a mess.

They barely talked. Just to keep their parents happy they would talk slightly over dinner and family events, but in the house they would keep to themselves in their rooms, and they would never spend any time together outside the house.

I knew Isabelle loved her brother, but she couldn't be near him after what happened. Jace and I never spoke back before the incident, so obviously that never changed after the accident.

Isabelle would not have expected me to be speaking with Jace and I knew that if I had started talking to Jace she wouldn't be so glad about it.

Finally I heard the blissful sound of coach's whistle telling us the lesson was over. I jogged to the locker rooms with Isabelle and got changed.

"Clary, I saw you talking to Jace earlier on today, what was that about?" I heard Kaelie's voice say behind me.

Shit.

Had she seen me in the toilets talking to Jace?

I hadn't heard anyone walk in, what if she was listening in?

I tensed and even felt Isabelle tense next to me, I knew how sensitive the subject of Jace was to Isabelle, and even after everything that happened she couldn't stand it when people talked shit about Jace and _him._

We both turned around from our lockers to see the cheer leading squad looking at me. Oh shit.

I hope I wasn't blushing; that always gave away whether I was lying or not.

I turned my head to the side to see a scowl on Isabelle's face pointed towards Kaelie and then she turned to me and raised an eyebrow at me.

I played it cool.

"When was this…that you saw me talking to Jace?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

Kaelie raised her own eyebrow back at me. "Don't play dumb Clary, I saw you talking to him in the hallway. What was that about?" She asked again.

Oh _that_.

Thank God.

I could just be honest.

She probably saw the scene too like the rest of the hallway but just wanted to make me look bad in front of the team and Isabelle.

God that bitch!

"Oh that. Sebastian was starting a fight with him, and I'm getting pretty sick of Sebastian's shit with his fighting, so I stopped it. I didn't even realise it was Jace until I looked at him. God, Kaelie, get off my ass and stop trying to make me look bad just because coach named me co-captain this year instead of you for _once_." I explained while the team snickered. Kaelie just pursed her lips at me.

"Oh well, whatever, just be careful, you being caught near _that _could put a real strain on your 'popularity'. Don't want to be an outcast again, do you, Fray?" she said to me, but before I could reply my other co-captain Isabelle spoke up. Talk about saved by the devil.

"Look, Kaelie, can you not call my brother "_that"_ he's a fucking person just like you and Clary can talk to whoever she wants, she can talk to Jace if she wants and no one's going to say shit. Okay? She wouldn't _be_ an outcast. She's loved by everyone, and I'm her best fucking friend. Jace and she don't talk any ways. Can you not be a bitch?" Isabelle said shrugging and shooting Kaelie a dirty look.

Wait what?

Was that Isabelle pretty much saying I could talk to Jace? I mean, she never said I couldn't, but after what happened…

"Whatever, Isabelle, after what your brother did, are you really defending him? You don't even talk to him anymore yourself and you say it's okay that Clary can? And I'm not being a bitch. You may not mind that she talks to him but everyone else will, and she'll be kicked off the team. You know Miss Silone's rules, and one of them is that if there's a bad rumour going on about you that is found out to be true, you're kicked out, and everybody will be talking about you being friendly with Jace, you know that right?" Kaelie said.

Oh, for the love of God.

She has a point though, one of the reasons I can't talk to him.

"Will your calm your fake tits, Kaelie? Just because I don't talk to him doesn't mean that Clary doesn't have to either–what am I, her mom? Clary can do what she wants, and if she doesn't like the way everyone reacts to it then it's her choice whether or not to stop it, and if she doesn't care what everyone else thinks then it doesn't matter, she still got me _either way_. Bloody hell, Kaelie, all she did was tell them to stop fighting, and you're acting like she made out with him or something. I know you used to have this little crush on Jace but please piss off," Isabelle said angrily.

Okay, so she is okay with me talking to Jace?

Can I talk to him, then?

No, Clary, the guy doesn't want to talk to you.

Well, why was he in the girl's toilets then?

I'm sure he wasn't looking for me.

It's not worth trying if that means giving up everything you've worked for, and you've got Nationals in the summer.

God, the way the other cheerleaders were looking at me now– as if they believed something was going on between me and Jace–and the way Kaelie was reacting, all I said was a few words!

Well, more in the girls' toilets…

But they didn't know that.

"Whatever! And I don't have a crush on him!" Kaelie said, scoffing and stomping away. Isabelle just let out a chuckle.

"Whatever, biatch." Isabelle whispered under her breath.

Isabelle and I walked through the gym doors and headed out towards the cafeteria to get our lunch; Isabelle stopped me for a second and looked at me funny.

"What's up?" I asked her, hoping she wouldn't ask about the Jace thing.

"Jace was in a fight with Sebastian?" she said frowning. Aww man. I guess hoping isn't enough these days.

"Erm yeah, but Sebastian _totally _started it. That's what I was talking about in the morning. You know when we arguing about that promise thing? I had asked him to promise me that he wouldn't get into any fights this year and he had gotten into one before the first bell had even rung," I said giving her a sad smile.

"Oh my God, that asshole. After you had walked away Simon and I cornered him and asked what that was all about and he said he'd had promised you that he'd wait for you by your locker and not walk off or something really stupid and that you were overreacting. I was going to ask you about it but totally forgot! God I knew he was lying; you're not one to react like a dumb-ass blonde. I'm sorry I forgot to ask about that, I feel like an asshole! Hug?" she said pulling her puppy-dog face.

"Oh Izzy! You're not an asshole, Sebastian is. It's okay, come here," I said pulling her in for a big hug, God, I had really missed her.

"I still feel bad; I totally forgot about you. Anyways, thanks for pulling Sebastian away from Jace; I don't know what I would have done if another bad thing happened to Jace. He does really try to stay away from trouble after what happened, it's just assholes like Seb," she said biting her lip.

See?

I know that she does care about Jace; she just can't forgive him.

"I know, Iz. C'mon, let's go get some food. During Gym, when coach was eating that packet of Doritos, it made me want to punch her even more than usual because I was so hungry," I said frowning at her.

She burst out laughing and hooked her arms around me and we carried on walking.

I reached towards my neck to feel my necklace out of habit and realised it wasn't there. Crap, I must have left it in my locker when I took it off for gym.

"Izzy, I've left my necklace in my locker!" I groaned.

"Oh go get it Clare bear, I'll save us a spot in the queue," she said laughing at me.

I smiled at her as we unhooked arms and I walked towards the gym.

Man, so much for a normal first day.

Sometimes I kill for the days nobody knew me, so they didn't care what I did and whom I was friends with.

Lost in my thoughts, I carried on walking with blind eyes, like when you're walking with your eyes open but not really looking at where you're going.

...

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...

...

Whoa. It's suddenly dark.

There's somebody's hand wrapped around my mouth.

It's too dark; I can't see what's going on.

_Omgomgomg._

I'm going to get killed.

I think my heart is going to pump out of my chest–that or I'm going to throw it up.

I'm hyperventilating.

Suddenly somebody's lips are on mine.

They seem familiar, but I can't tell. I can't feel it. I can't hear the sound of my heart beating in my chest multiplying.

"Get off! Get off!" I screamed, tears coming down my eyes, my heart still pumping like mad.

"No" The guy grunted, trying to kiss my neck, keeping me trapped against wherever I was.

"Get off me, you weird stranger!" I yelled.

"I'm no stranger," the stranger said sliding his hand under my knitted top. "It's me, Jace" he whispered.

"Oh my God! Jace, get off me!" I screamed, more tears coming out of my eyes.

"No. Now shut up. Not only am I a murderer, but also a rapist." He growled.

Wait, what? Jace would never say something like that; he would never make a joke out of what happened.

Suddenly my senses come back to me.

I can see clearer as my eyes have adjusted to the dark. My heart has slowed down, and I can hear and feel Jace's chest vibrating under me, and I can hear laughter.

It doesn't feel like Jace's frame and it's not his laugh, it's all too familiar.

Wait, Sebastian?

"Oh, God, you should have seen the look on your face! Even though I can't see it much I know it's hilarious! Oh God Clary you're so easy! You looked so scared, aww come here baby!"

SEBASTIAN?!

He wraps his arms around me just as I push his arms off.

"GET OFF!" I scream again.

"Baby what's wrong? It's just me. It was just a joke–wait, are you crying? Aww come on, Clary, it was just a joke!" Sebastian said chuckling.

"Oh, go fuck yourself," I said pushing him off.

With my eyesight adjusted, I could see the door in the closet he had shoved us in and stepped out of the closet, with Sebastian trailing after me.

"Clary it was just a joke!" he yelled at me.

"Do these tears look like a joke to you?! For fuck's sake, Sebastian, that was not funny; rape isn't a fucking joke! Just piss off! That is not funny!" I said wiping my eyes.

"Twice in a row, Verlac? Seriously, didn't your mom teach not to make girls cry?" Jace's voice.

I turned around to see him with a frown on his face and eyebrows furrowed.

He stepped forward to stand next to me.

I could feel my cheeks burn up and my heart beat increasing once again.

"Is he bothering you?" Jace said, placing a hand softly on my arm and a deep 'V' forming between his eyebrows.

I could feel the heat from his hand spreading through my arm and all over my body.

Sebastian raised his eyebrow and stepped forward.

"How about you get lost? This is between me and my girlfriend, and get your hand off her." Sebastian growled.

"I would go away, but my mother taught me to never let a girl cry," Jace said scowling at Verlac and removing his hand.

Damn Sebastian!

"Oh, but she didn't teach you not to murder anyone?" Sebastian said.

Oh why did he have to go there? Jace's hands formed into fists and I could feel him tensing next to me.

I grabbed his forearm before he could do anything like punch Sebastian.

"Jace, walk away, it's not worth it," I said calmly.

"Yeah, listen to her," Sebastian snickered.

I leaned over to Jace's ear and whispered, "Just go, Jace. I will be fine. You don't need this to cause you any more trouble." I pulled back and he looked at me.

"Fine," Jace said, walking away.

"Why do you always defend him?" Sebastian said with an annoyed tone.

"Because you are ALWAYS in the wrong or starting it! God Sebastian!" I said, storming away from him.

"Clary! I don't want to fight, okay? I'm sorry; I promise I won't get into any more fights. That joke was stupid, and now I feel like an ass. I'm sorry, okay? Please forgive me! I just thought it'd be funny!" Sebastian yelled after me.

I turned around to yell at but the look on his face made me stop and forgive him instead.

"Fine. One more fight and I won't forgive you. Now walk me to the cafeteria, and no more stupid jokes. Izzy probably thinks I've been kidnapped," I said.

"I promise I won't get into any more fights and no more stupid jokes," he said grinning at me.

We then both walked hand in hand to the cafeteria. Crap, my necklace. I'll just have to go get it after school.

...

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**Jace**

**...**

Never have I seen her cry in the two years of high school and on the first day of junior year I see her cry TWICE.

Damn, what is Sebastian's problem? Can't he keep a girl happy?

I wish I could punch him in his ugly ass face.

It looked like a really big argument.

Maybe they'll break up?

Nah, they've had arguments like this in the past year and they always got back together.

I need to move on; she and I and her are never going to happen.

Aww man, I can still feel Clary's breath on my ear when she had warned me to stay away.

Does she care about me?

If she didn't then she would have not cared if Verlac and I got into a fight.

Nah, she doesn't care. It's probably because I'm Isabelle's brother and she doesn't want Isabelle to go through any more grief than she already has to because of me.

_Brrrrrrrrring._

Last bell of the day.

Thank God.

I got up before anybody else and headed for the school doors before bumping into another asshole, or worse, _Sebastian _himself.

Thank the lord I made it home without anyone bothering me or saying anything.

As I entered the house, I smiled at my mum and nodded my head at her when she asked if I had a good first day.

Well, I didn't really, but I'm not going to upset my mom any more than I already have.

After a few hours of sitting in my room and listening to music I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in?" I said.

Isabelle walked in.

Woah.

That hasn't happened since the day I came home before sophomore year.

I pulled my headphones and sat up.

"I, erm, heard you got into it with Sebastian, what was that about?" Isabelle said, sitting on the edge of my bed.

I raised an eyebrow at her. "I always get into _it _with him, why ask about today?"

"Clary said that–"

"Ooh, because Clary had something to do with it," I said.

"Yeah, I just wanted to ask…are you two friends? Or like talking? I've never seen you two talk or anything," she asked twisting her lips.

I chuckled. "No, Isabelle, she just stopped the argument. Other than that I've never really spoken to her." _Lies_.

"Oh okay, good," Isabelle said getting up from the edge of the bed.

"Do you not want me talking to her? Like, would that be a problem with you?" I asked her.

"It's not my place to say you can't talk to her. If you want to and she wants to, go on. Just try not to get into fights, will you?" she said pointing a serious finger at me.

Does she care?

"Yeah, okay," I said chuckling, giving her a small smile.

She then smiled back and walked out closing the door.

Damn, that was the most we talked in a year and a half and she actually smiled at me. Hey, maybe I can get my sister back. Just maybe. Wait, who am I kidding? I killed _him_.

...

...

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**Long chapter for all you lovely people. God its 5 am now, lol. I stayed up the past two nights and this night to write these chapters because night is the only time I have to write. I hope it's all worth it.**


	4. What Are We Doing?

**The chapter skips a week near the beginning so we can begin this plot properly.**

**Kinda upset that the last chapter didn't get many reviews or followers I actually thought it was my best chapter so far but I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!**

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**Because it's Christmas in the UK and even though I don't celebrate it i felt like giving you a gift, so in this chapter maybe or maybe not you will get some heated Clace action and the mystery person who died 8-)**

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**Rated M for sexy language, I can taste the citrus in the atmosphere baby!**

**Once again I want to thank you Beta ****ellimac0717! thanks sweetie! :)**

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**I DON'T OWN ANYTHING NOT THE SONGS OR CHARACTERS OR ANYTHING REMOTELY SIMILAR THE IDEA IS JUST MINE.**

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**Chapter Songs:**

**Soulja Boy – Kiss Me through the Phone**

**Chris Brown – Don't Judge Me**

**Rihanna – Skin**

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**Jace**

**...**

**what are we doing?**

**...**

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...

...

I had fallen for Clary when she became popular in sophomore year and it wasn't because she was popular, because I most definitely had jumped off the popular radar, but the popularity was how I noticed her.

Because of her popularity, I was hearing about her more–more about how she was friends with everyone and dating Sebastian Verlac, the sick bastard, and how she was an important cheerleader.

The moment I started to feel something for her was when I was walking to my locker, and this boy in a wheelchair had dropped his books, and being the sweetheart that Clary is, she picked up his books and handed them back to him.

"Oh here you go Mickey, by the way are we still on for bowling with the other dorks?" she had said with a cheeky grin.

Even though she had become popular, she was still helping others; still hanging out with all of her others friends. Most importantly she hadn't let popularity change her, it just made her even better.

After he had confirmed their plans, she had walked away from him and walked past me, but she didn't walk on the other side of the hallway like other people chose to, to make a point out of me. She walked _right_ next me and even _smiled _at me; she had noticed me watching the interaction between her and Mickey.

It was in that moment I knew Clary was different, even though I wasn't completely in love with her in that moment; she still had an effect on me and ever since then all the little things she's done and the brilliant things she has achieved have made me fallen so in love with her. It was all the little things.

...

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**Clary**

**...**

Why does Jace act like he cares about me?

It's making me feel things that I shouldn't.

Sebastian is an asshole.

I can't believe he played a trick on me like that!

Especially using Jace's name; that's so mean!

For a second I thought it was really Jace, but Jace would never do something like that. Even if he had _murdered _somebody, he wouldn't stoop _that_ low.

Well, what if he would?

He's already done so much.

Wait, this is Jace we're talking about, he wouldn't do that!

I may not know him well but I do know him enough, he seems to treat girls' nicely. He used to mess around with them before but now he doesn't even talk to girls–well that's actually because girls refused to talk to him, but like you know.

I wonder how many times he's had sex. I bet he's _really _experienced in that area.

It makes me shudder to think.

Okay, stop thinking about what sex with Jace would be like.

I wish I had tried to become friends with Jace back when everything was okay, but I was just too scared to approach him. He only thought of me as his sister's best friend, nothing more, maybe something less.

I wish he never did what he did. If he was still popular and I was where I still am, we could have been friends, maybe even more.

I remember when he came back in sophomore year. I had watched him; he had walked head down to his locker, which had murderer paint sprayed in red over it.

He had looked around to see if the person who did it was watching over, but when he had turned around he had realised everybody was staring at him, with hate and pity.

He didn't say anything, just took his backpack off, put it in his locker, and closed it.

Then the bullying and the torture had begun. I felt so bad for him but I couldn't do anything; it was out of my hands. Everybody had something to take up with Jace and Jace couldn't do anything.

Isabelle always felt bad–I knew she did–but she couldn't do anything herself. She was still angry at Jace.

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...

A week of school has gone by, and everything has fallen into place–school would be normal, the occasional argument with one of the cheerleaders, cheerleading practise every day after school, spending time with Sebastian after cheerleading practise and heading over to Izzy's house for a while.

Over the year Jace had been back not once did I see him come out of his room while I was at Izzy's.

Never.

I never saw him at the house.

Then I would go home and spend some time with my parents, do my homework and go to sleep.

Ever since the closet incident I hadn't spoken to Jace at all. I guess that was a good thing; the first day of school just must have been some joke the universe was playing on us.

Sebastian and I were going stronger than ever, and he had kept his promise_ so_ _far_.

He hadn't started any fights with anyone, stopped with the jokes and was actually being a really good boyfriend.

I was thinking of giving _it _up to him soon; we had been together for over a year and it only felt right to make love with the boy I love.

He deserves it, right?

He truly does; he's been so good lately.

During the times I had seen Jace, he was either getting picked on or alone, head down. No one has said anything about me and him talking so I guess that was good.

Finally after a tiring first week, the weekend has arrived, and the Isabelle and the cheerleaders decided to have a sleepover. I offered my house because my parents were out of town for the weekend.

"Wooooh! Where is the booze, Clary?" Aline yelled.

"Under the sink!" I yelled at her.

We were all at my house sitting in a circle on the floor of my bedroom. Isabelle, Maia, Aline, Kaelie, Madeline, Christina, Emma and I were all actually have a good time and not arguing.

"Okay, okay! Let's plaaay….spin the bottle truth or dare!" Kaelie screeched.

We were only pretty much drunk so that's the only way we could have possible thought this was going to be a good idea.

Kaelie spun the bottle and it landed on Isabelle.

"Okay! Isabelle, truth or dare?" Kaelie asked.

"Truth," Isabelle said giggling.

"Okay, have you ever had sexual ideas or thoughts abooutttt…SIMON?" Kaelie said, falling backwards laughing.

"KAELIE!" Isabelle and me yelled at the same time, laughing crazily.

"Answer it!" the other girls screamed.

"Okay, okay, I…erm, well, once or twice maybe?" she said shrugging her shoulders, giggling and biting her lip.

"Are you for real?!" I asked her. She nodded her head quickly and giggled.

"Oh wow Isabelle," Kaelie and the other cheerleaders had said laughing at Isabelle's confession.

"Do you like him?" Madeline had asked.

"Nah, he's just a friend," Isabelle said giving us a drunken smile.

"Friend zoned!" the girls yelled.

"Shut up guys," Isabelle said, her cheeks blushing…I think. Maybe I'm too drunk.

"Okay, spin the bottle again!" Aline said.

Kaelie span it and it went around and around and around untiiiiiiiil it finally landed…on me. Yay.

"Clary! Truth or Dare?" Maia asked.

"Hmm, DARE!" I yelled and giggled. Might as well have fun!

"Hmm, I have a good one! I still have Jace's number from when we used to talk; I dare you to call him from your own phone and sing 'Kiss Me Through The Phone' to him!" Maia said and the rest of the girls suddenly burst out laughing.

Suddenly Isabelle and I sobered up.

"That's not funny, Maia," Isabelle said, scowling.

"C'mon, it'll be hilarious! Just for jokes. C'mon, Iz!" Maia said and the rest of the girls agreed with her.

"Fine, but put it on loudspeaker; I want to hear this too," Izzy said chuckling.

Dammit! I was hoping she would help me get out of this. Shit, _shit_, I don't want to do this!

Crap!

I'm going to be nervous. Holy shit I can't even sing; I can't even speak to him!

If I blush the girls will notice!

Deep breaths, Clary, calm down!

"Okay, give me the number," I said, reaching into my pocket for my phone.

Urgh this sucks.

Why did I agree to play this game?

Maia gives me his number and I dial it into my phone.

My palm's starting to sweat, and the phone almost slipped out of my hand. I know I have a boyfriend and shouldn't react like this, but any girl would! Boyfriend or not, Jace is _h-o-t._

The phone starts making that ringing sound. Shit, I was hoping there would be a chance his phone would be off.

"Hello?" a husky voice from the other line calls. Oh man, nothing's hotter than a tired guy's phone voice.

"Baby you know that I miss you, I wanna get with you tonight, but I cannot baby boy that's the issue boy you know I miss you, I just wanna kiss you…" I started singing.

"Who the fuck is this? I swear to God, if it's you, Magnus, I'm going to steal all your glitter" Jace said with an extremely annoyed tone.

The girls were trying their hardest not to laugh and Isabelle snorted her alcohol out of her nose making it even harder not to laugh, but I carried on singing.

"Baby I know that you like me, I'm your future wifey, baby you are so sexy, your voice is so lovely-"

"Wait, Clary?" Jace asked.

Shit. Oh my God, face palm. I froze and stopped singing, and at the same time Isabelle spat out her drink and all the girls started laughing. Oh fuck.

"Oh, so you want me to kiss you through the phone, do you Clary?" Jace asked in a more seductive tone than it was ten seconds ago.

Maybe that's me just over-thinking. That's how his voice normally sounds like, right?

I didn't say anything.

"I'm so…sexy? My voice is… so lovely? Do you think so, Clary?" I still didn't say anything.

I had frozen.

The girls were still laughing and some of them had toppled over and staring complaining that their stomachs hurting over laughing so hard and Jace could probably hear them laughing but he didn't stop.

"You wanna get with me tonight? You wanna kiss me, do you now?" Jace said, his breath a little faltered and faster than before but I don't think the rest of the girls noticed because they were laughing so hard.

"Woops wrong number," I said really quickly just wanting to hang up.

"Wait, Clary! I hope you know I'm saving your number…under booty call, since you 'wanna get with me tonight'. Maybe another night though, yeah?" he said laughing and hung up.

I hate my friends sometimes.

"OMG! That was absolutely hilarious!" Kaelie said.

"Aww it's so much fun to mess about with him and you! Ooh he flirted with you!" Aline said winking at me.

Dammit, I could feel myself blushing.

"What happened to not even talking or having anything to do with Jace?" I said, glaring at Maia.

"Oh calm down, Clary, it was just a dare," she said, smirking at me.

"Whatever," I said scowling at her. "Isabelle?"

"It was funny, dude. Just a joke, Clary," Isabelle said sticking her tongue out at me. "I'm okay with this," she said, smiling.

"Urgh. It's so awkward, though. I don't even speak to Jace." I said, glaring at them.

"Therefore it doesn't matter, right? Because you don't talk to him," Aline said laughing.

"Yeah I guess so," I said giving them a small smile, although my gut was hurting from embarrassment. I think I was completely sober now after that.

"Oh, that was so much fun. Damn, I didn't realise how long it had been since I heard Jace's voice. Erm, do you guys like ever miss being friends Jace?" Aline asked us. We were all silent for a minute.

"I do," Maia said. "He was actually pretty great, funny and a lot of fun just to mess about with and flirt. It's sad he had to go and ruin everything."

"I miss him too sometimes; he was my first boyfriend in high school, and we could have still been together. Hmm oh well," Aline said.

Oh yeah, Aline was one of the many girls that he went out with. Lucky bitch.

"Guys, are you listening to yourselves now? How could you miss a murderer?" Kaelie said scoffing and laughing at us.

"Kaelie, shut up," Isabelle said, glaring at her.

"Just because he's your brother does not mean I am going to defend him. You can defend him all you want but I'm not going to. He murdered one of _my_ good friends. I was heartbroken too, okay? So whatever," Kaelie said. "I'm going to sleep." And with that she zipped up her sleeping bag and turned away from us.

"Everybody makes mistakes, Kaelie, but that doesn't mean we can't forgive them. Yeah, Jace did a horrible thing, but he never meant to let it get that far. He's been tortured long enough, so why can't you just let it go?" Isabelle said, all the drunkenness leaving her.

"You're one to talk, Isabelle, when was the last time you spoke to Jace properly? A year and a half? Stop trying to act like you're good when you know you're the one who holds the biggest grudge on him," Kaelie said.

"That's not fair, Kaelie, I am trying to make things better. I may not talk to him but I don't bully him; I don't make him feel like shit every day," Isabelle said softly.

"Wait you think refusing to talk to him _doesn't _make him feel like shit? OF COURSE IT DOES! And what about how Jonathan feels huh?! Oh, wait, that's right; we don't know how he feels, because he's DEAD! Because of Jace!" Kaelie screamed turning back to us.

All the girls suddenly gasped. We never say Jonathan name; we always just 'him' or 'he' to save the pain the memory the name brings back.

"Guys, stop," I whispered

"Don't act like you knew Jonathan at all, Kaelie. You didn't know him like I did. Yeah, Jace might have kill-"Isabelle voice croaked for a second and tears formed in her eyes.

"Jonathan wouldn't have treated Jace like this, not like how we do. Jonathan believed in forgiveness and giving people second chances. Even though Jonathan _hated _Jace with a passion, I know deep down Jonathan could have forgiven him. Do you know how many nights I've heard Jace cry from my room about what happened that night? He feels bad, okay? Every fucking day my brother carries the weight of what happened and tries to move on but he can't because assholes like you always remind him of the mistakes he made!" Isabelle yelled.

Dammit I could feel tears spilling on my cheeks.

"Whatever, Isabelle, he should have not done it, end of. Why are you crying for Fray? You didn't even know Jonathan and Jace," Kaelie said rolling her eyes.

"Gosh you're so naïve, Kaelie, I did know Jonathan, okay? He was Isabelle's boyfriend; I spent the first year of my high school with that boy by Isabelle's side so shut up. I felt the pain too when he passed away. And why am I crying? Because! Because it wasn't supposed to be like this! We're juniors! Were all supposed to be happy and friends because before you know it we'll be seniors and then we'll be going our separate ways and Jace doesn't deserve to spend the last few years of high school like this, being tortured over something he apologised for so deeply," I said softly.

Yeah, Jace had apologised in front of everyone in the school memorial assembly dedicated to Jonathan. He had gotten booed of stage and called a murderer.

I had felt so bad for him.

I wish there was some way I could have made him feel better, but back then…

"Jace may have made a mistake, but don't we all make mistakes? Does that mean we shouldn't be forgiven?" I said.

Kaelie didn't reply to me.

Instead all the other girls got into their sleeping bags and Isabelle took my hand and whispered in my ear, "Thank you for caring so much for me, for Jace, and for John, you really are the best friend I could have asked for. Kaelie just makes it so difficult, you know?"

"Yeah I know. You've always got me, Izzy Wizzy," I said, wiping one of her tears. She gets so emotional when people bring up Jonathan.

"Thanks Clare Bear," she said hugging me.

She got into her sleeping bag and I got into my bed and went to sleep, where I dreamt of me and Jace.

...

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**Jace**

**...**

Saturday.

Damn, the first week of school really messes up my sleeping plan; I'm so used to waking up early now.

I never used to wake up at 11 on a Saturday. Stupid school even ruins my weekend sleep.

I smile to myself thinking about last night.

Isabelle had said she was going to Clary's for a sleepover with the cheerleaders and that phone call was probably one of their practical jokes they played.

I remember in freshman year the cheerleaders that year had done the same sort of prank but they had just told me I was really hot and to call that number if I ever needed anything.

Clary had sung "Kiss Me Through the Phone" and it was actually really cute, kinda hot if you asked me. I wouldn't mind kissing her through the phone, or in person on her sweet lips. You know, whatever.

But nobody messes or plays jokes on Jace Herondale.

I'm so going to get revenge on Clary and it's going to be sweet.

I got up, walked into the bathroom and looked into the mirror.

I honestly believed I had no flaws, on the outside at least, except the scar on my face.

The one that forever reminds me of the mistake I made, the mistake I can never take back. God dammit, I know I hated Jonathan but I miss him so damn much.

Even if I did hate him, he was a part of my life and at some point we were friends but that changed once we started high school.

He was my childhood best friend for a good eight years. I can't believe we let high school come between us.

...

...

* * *

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**Clary**

**...**

Beep. Beep. Beep.

9 am.

Urgh.

My eyes felt swollen and my head hurts.

Stupid judgemental cheerleaders and emotional nights, bringing up things I don't want to remember.

I looked out the window and saw that the weather had turned sunny and my room was actually very warm, so I had put on some shorts and a plain green t-shirt.

After the rough night we had all gone to sleep and not spoken a word about it in the morning.

All of the girls had left and said goodbye but only Isabelle had stayed with me, since I told her I would take her home.

We had made some breakfast, watched some TV and talked about last night.

"I can't believe what Kaelie said last night. She had no right to bring up Jonathan, since she didn't even truly know him. She shouldn't talk shit about Jace and Jonathan anyways, since half of _that night_ was because of her. Well not actually because of her, but she was always trying to take Jonathan away from you. She should have been glad that you even forgave her after what happened that night," I told Isabelle.

"I guess so," she said, giving me a sad frown. "I can't say anything to Kaelie, though. I feel sorry for her; after everything that happened she came out the most bitter."

"I wonder why, though. She was never really close to Jace or Jonathan. All she did was flirt with them," I wondered.

"I know, right?" Isabelle said. "Well, whatever, that bitch has been crazy ever since she hit puberty," Isabelle said, smiling at me. I laughed at her.

After an hour or so of watching TV and laughing our asses off at 'Friends', we decided to go Isabelle's house.

...

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* * *

...

...

We walked to her house, fangirling about the hottest celebrities, which took about twenty minutes.

Once we got their Isabelle asked if I wanted to stay over and hang out. I had said yes, like usual.

She wanted to take a shower, so I sat at the kitchen island waiting for her, when suddenly Jace walked in topless, in his sweats, stretching, so the 'V' in his hips was very visible and the fair blonde hairs that lead to beyond what I wouldn't know.

_Oh my god._

I could bake cookies on that chest.

Damn.

Oh, god, please don't notice me, please don't notice me! Obviously you're going to notice me, but please don't bring up last night, oh God!

Jace opened his eyes and looked at me, titled his head, rubbed his eyes and then looked at me again.

"Clary?" Jace said with raspy morning voice.

"Erm, hi," I said, trying my hardest not to blush.

The one time I finally see Jace at Izzy's house, it had to be the morning after I embarrassed myself!

"Why are you here at this time? Where's Iz?" he said walking behind me, towards the stove to probably make something.

I was facing the other direction so I couldn't see him and didn't dare turn around in case I stared at him like a weirdo and freaked him out.

"We wanted to hang out here; all the girls went home and Izzy went for a shower," I said, without stuttering or messing up for once. Score 1 for Clary!

"Oh okay," Jace said. I could hear the sizzling of the pan behind me.

He was still cooking and I was just sitting at the counter staring into space, when suddenly I felt a pair of arms around me–really comfortable arms–making me gasp in shock.

"So, do you really think my voice is lovely? You think I'm sexy?" Jace chuckled in my ear.

"I –erm – it was dare" I mumbled, my cheeks burning up and my palms starting to sweat.

"Are you sure? I know I can't kiss you through the phone right now because I'm right here, but I could just kiss you here," he said, placing a kiss on my shoulder.

_Oh my God._

This is a dream.

This isn't happening.

This is just another daydream.

"Or here," he said, placing a kiss where my neck and shoulder met.

This isn't happening.

"Or here," he whispered softly, placing a kiss against my neck, making me drop my head back on his shoulder.

"Jace," I panted. "Stop."

"Why?" he panted against my neck as he moves his lips across my neck, not exactly kissing but touching, causing my whole body to heat up.

"Don't you wanna get with me?" he said in the sing-song tone of the Soulja Boy song.

"No, Jace."

"The blush on your face tells me another story," Jace said, and I could feel his smirk against my neck.

He suddenly slid his hand up my shirt and dipped his pinkie into my belly button, causing me to gasp.

"Does that feel good, Angel?" he asked.

I couldn't even reply from shock.

My eyes had closed at some point.

My panting magnified in my ears and all I could feel was lips on my neck.

Hands on my skin.

His bare smooth chest against my back.

Something hard pressing against the top of my butt causing me to gasp.

His hips surrounding me.

His arms around my waist.

Oh, God, this all felt so good and wrong.

I shouldn't have been doing this, but, oh my, he was so good with his hands. The boy has got it.

"Answer me, Clary," he whispered, pecking my neck softly.

I hummed in response.

His hands went higher, rubbing softly against my ribcage, making me pant faster and louder.

"I love hearing the sounds of your pleasure. It drives me crazy, especially since I know it's because of me," he said, gently biting on my earlobe.

His breathed against my outer ear, causing my breath to hitch.

"Am I making you all hot and bothered, Clary?" Jace asked, pressing a kiss to my collarbone.

I instinctively tilted my head further back to give him more access.

"It's good that you decided to wear shorts today," Jace murmured against my skin.

He removed one of his hands and placed it on my thigh, causing me to gasp at the contact, and I instantly open my legs slightly.

Why can't I speak?!

Why have I _frozen up_?!

His hand travels higher up my thigh.

"That's it, baby, open your legs a little wider." Okay, suddenly my brain isn't working and my ovaries must have been controlling everything I do, because I cannot ignore a single thing Jace is saying.

One hand is rubbing circles on my ribcage and the other on my thigh. I couldn't control my breathing.

His hand reached the edge of my panties and the touch caused me to moan out loud.

Oh my God, I did not just moan.

Holy crap, this feels so good though.

"Oh Clary, make that sound again. I could spend hours between your legs, teasing… sucking, feeling, touching, tasting you." He whimpered deliciously against my skin.

Okay, I'm probably so ready now.

"You taste so good, Clary." Jace groaned against my neck.

"How wet are you right now?" he asks.

His question shocks me, causing me to open my eyes wide and whimper.

"I – erm – Jace – oh God – this isn't right" I tell him.

"Hmmm, I guess so. Oh well!" he says cheerily, stepping away from me and I could hear him flipping the almost burnt pancake he was making.

Wait what?! I turn around, scowling at him.

"What–what was that?!" I shriek at him.

He shrugs at me.

"Nobody gets away with messing with Jace Herondale no matter how small the prank, Clary, and I got back using my best technique: seduction," he said winking at me.

"Let me guess, you're all warm and tingly inside, right? I couldn't tell at all!" he said sarcastically, chuckling.

"That was not cool, Jace," I said, scowling at him.

"Hey, you barely put up a fight. You know you liked it; all the girls do," he said, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Just because my life's not the same and I don't talk to as many girls as I used to doesn't mean I don't have the confidence to pull shit like that still; I still have all the tricks up my sleeve. That was pleasant, Fray; we should do it again sometime," He said winking at me again.

_Oh my God._

He had just been messing with me!

And I totally embarrassed myself. Oh my God.

Okay, calm down. I'm so _hot _right now.

I need to get out of here.

"Clary, you okay?" I turn around to see Isabelle looking at me and Jace.

"Yup, fine," I said, giving her a small smile.

"Just came in to make breakfast," Jace said, shrugging.

"Well let's hang out in my room. C'mon," Isabelle said. I followed her upstairs and just before I left the kitchen I could hear Jace hiss:

"You might want to ask her if you could borrow a pair of clean panties!" with a deep chuckle. That asshole. If he wants to play like that, it's _on._

_..._

_..._

* * *

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**Jace**

**...**

Best thing I have ever fucking done.

BEST.

Okay, really, I just wanted to touch Clary.

The phone call payback thing was an excuse. But _holy crap, _I would be lying if I said touching Clary and feeling her skin and making her pant like that wasn't the best experience of my life.

Yeah, I know, I'm playing a dangerous game here, but I can't help it; my want for her is getting stronger every day, and when nobody's around, what's the harm?

She has no idea how I really feel about her. She's not an asshole to me when it comes to the Jonathan part of my life.

And I know she's attracted to me. I can tell in the way she looks me, and she blushed when she saw me walk in half-naked.

But it doesn't matter. She doesn't like me. We're just playing games, right?

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* * *

_**Okay! **_**Now we know that **_**he **_**is Jonathan, I have finally introduced him because to be honest I felt people would get bored considering it doesn't honestly make a difference who the person was, you all just want to know why and what happened right? So the mystery and the why and what will be in the remaining chapters. Kaelie has a part in this all, a big one.**

**OHH. Jace and Clary are having sexy time behind everyone's back and they have no idea what they are doing and Clary doesn't know what to do. And yes I know this action might be surprising from Jace but even after all that happened, he is still **_**Jace! **_**He still knows how to play with the women and turn them on.**

**More Jonathan & Sebastian & Incident Talk & Clace Drama & School Drama coming up soon so beware! This was just a nice little treat for everyone.**

**Hope you all enjoyed it ;) it was defiantly fun for me to write!**

**Spread the holiday cheer and review please!**


	5. Choices

**Okay somebody asked me that they wanted Jace to be _cuter_ towards Clary than sexy. Now what you guys don't get was in the last chapter he wasn't trying to get into her pants or make her like him, he was just getting plain old revenge by turning her on and then walking away from her in her most heated moment.**

* * *

**In this chapter you'll see more of Clary's and Jace's reaction towards what went down between them both, you didn't get much info out of it in the last chapter because they felt so 'hot and heavy' they couldn't think straight to actually think through what had just happened.**

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**P.S. I find it interesting nobody's asked who this "Anna" is yet lol or about Clary wanting to give it up to Sebastian.**

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**I DON'T OWN ANYTHING, NOT THE SONGS OR CHARACTERS, BUT I OWN ANNA BECAUSE I MADE HER UP & THE STORY PLOT.**

**Chapter Songs:**

**Katy Perry – Thinking Of You**

**Boys Like Girls – She's got a Boyfriend Now**

**Maroon 5 - Secret**

* * *

**Clary**

**...**

**choices.**

**...**

* * *

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Sebastian.

Holy shit.

I have a boyfriend.

I must have forgotten that while Jace's arms were wrapped around me.

Holy shit.

What if Jace tells someone what just happened?

Nobody would believe him any ways right?

He wouldn't tell anyone any ways, Isabelle would kill him. I can't believe that just happened.

Did I just cheat on Seb?

No of course I didn't , me and Jace didn't even kiss, I had told him to stop, I didn't even start it.

It's not cheating right?

I have more than enough reasons to stay away from Jace and now I can add this to it. You have a boyfriend Clary, what are you playing at?!

I know Jace is well hot but I will just have to stay away from him, he screams trouble, his whole image is dangerous, especially that damn lip ring, the same lip ring that kept banging against my skin yesterday morning.

Okay stop thinking about Sebastian and Jace and lip rings and focus on the text-book in front of you, you have a paper due tomorrow and if you don't do it it will lower your grade average and you'll be suspended from cheer leading till it goes back to your average grade, FOCUS!

This is so damn difficult though, the words are just floating on the paper to me and I can't think of anything except Jace and Sebastian and how I'm going to deal with all of this.

Yesterday after _that _had happened, I didn't see Jace at all, and I guess he decided to crawl back to his room.

Me and Isabelle had hanged out for a while, and then decided to part ways as we both had exams and papers to revise for the following week, not major ones, but Coach was go crazy if she found out we were failing a class.

We always had to stay on top of our game otherwise we could risk our places in the team and then Coach would scream spit at us.

I remember once when me and Isabelle walked into practise drunk...let's just say we never heard the end of it.

She'll fucking kill us.

I still can't concentrate; I haven't spoken to Sebastian either since Friday. The last conversation we had been about our next date.

We still had to discuss when we'd go out again because the start of the year is always a little hectic with our schedule's but I was hoping our next date would be _the _night, the night I gave it up to him, but after what happened yesterday I felt so confused.

Yes I did like Sebastian and we told each other we loved each other even though I wasn't really sure I did, but I just said I did so we wouldn't end up arguing, but these lustful feelings for Jace weren't leaving any time soon and I think I still had feelings for him back when I was crushing on him during my first and second year.

Yes he had no idea I existed, I was just his sister's best friend, and yes he was a murderer but that didn't stop me from crushing on him in the past even though I had a boyfriend, he was still extremely hot.

Now everything was different, now he knew I existed, he made some sort of, what I could call _effort _to talk to me and he had _touched _me.

Oh my God, I just realised he had touched my panties, even Sebastian hadn't gotten that far after a year and me and Jace had and weren't even together and it would be impossible for us to be together.

Cheer leading is going to get me my scholarship and being friends or anything more would ruin that.

People have this assumption that just because I'm popular that I'm made of money.

Well I didn't start of popular, just being friends with Isabelle and on the cheer leading squad did that, and I'm not exactly rich.

Yes I live in a big house in a nice area, but it took a lot of hours of my parents work to pay for that and because of that I barely saw them, if they were home yes I would spend time with them, otherwise no, and having to pay for my tuition and my college loans would put such a strain on them, a scholarship would really help.

Being with Jace would complicate everything and speaking of my parents, they would never let me date Jace.

Maybe they could tolerate friends because he was Isabelle's brother, but everybody in the community had a pretty good idea of the kind of person I was and the kind of person Jace was and we don't exactly fit well.

Then again thinking about it my parents wouldn't probably like the idea of me being with friends with Jace either, im not so sure if they would tolerate it.

I have 99 reasons and more to stay away and not be near Jace yet I keep trying to find reasons to be near him.

What am I thinking?

Nobody wants me with Jace, I'm sure Jace doesn't even want me with him, and Jace murdered a good friend, yet I can't hate him, I just feel sorry for him and want things to get better for him even though he probably doesn't deserve that.

Oh man, I'm so screwed up.

If anyone knew what was going on in my head they'd burn me to a stake.

Dammit what am I thinking?

I have Sebastian who loves me, is socially perfect for me, makes me feel safe but it's just that…that damn spark I feel near Jace.

The electricity, the goose bumps, shivers and sexual tension, there's just none of that is there with Sebastian, but with Jace, it's all steamy, hot and needy, always wanting to touching all the time.

Sebastian's safe though, Jace is just a day-dream, stop even thinking about it Clary, you have no shot with Jace, he was just messing with you yesterday, and even after what happened he's still obviously has that "ladies man" personality to him.

Maybe finally having sex with Sebastian would extinguish my lusty feels for Jace or at least calm it down.

I can't believe what I'm about to do.

I pick up my phone and wait for the pestering ringing to start.

"Hey babe" I hear a deep voice say from the other line, it doesn't make me shiver, or feel special, or goose bump worthy, it's just comfortable, just something I'm used to.

"Hey Sebastian, we need to talk" I said.

"Oh, aren't you busy revising?" he asked.

"Erm yeah I am but this is important" I say, nervousness running through me.

To be honest I should have done this face to face the next time I saw him but I didn't think I had the guts so the phone was the best option.

"What's wrong?" He asked a worried tone to his voice.

I could hear him sitting up from his probably lying down position, making me feel guilty for the way I've been thinking about Jace lately, well how I've felt about Jace the past two years.

Sebastian cared about me, he treated me right, and maybe sometimes he couldn't keep his promises and was an ass-hole but he's a guy right?

Why am I expecting perfect from him when im not either?

He is trying to be better for me.

He treats me good, he comes from a respectful family, has never done anything _that _bad.

I laughed a little to calm my nerves.

"It's nothing bad Sebastian" I told him.

"Oh that's good, you had me worried there you were going to break up with me or something." He said teasingly.

"Nope nothing like that, don't worry; I just have to ask you something" I said taking a deep breath.

"What's up baby?" He asked.

"I-I erm on our next date I need you to bring something." I told him squeezing my eyes shut in embarrassment not wanting to answer his next question.

"And that would be?" he asked.

I braced myself for his reaction and said "Condoms."

Silence.

More silence.

"You didn't hang up on me there did you Seb?" I said, then biting my lip.

Oh crap, I've made a probably made a joke of myself.

"No, no I-I'm here I just, erm yeah sure I'll bring them, oh God hell yes I'll bring them." He said laughing at the end.

"Good, erm I just thought I'd tell you to because I–I want to _you know_? I just want us to be ready for…_it._ I'm sorry if I just made it awkward." I said flinching.

Shut up Clary, just hang up, just hang up!

"Oh no, you most definitely didn't, it's good you told me before hand, oh God Clary, it's going to be amazing-I'll make it amazing for you." He said giving me a breathy laugh at the end.

"Umm okay good, I have to go back to revising" I said.

"Sure babe, see you later, and how about we have the date on Friday night?" he replied.

"Sure Seb." I said hanging up.

Well that's settled.

...

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**Jace**

**...**

For the first time in over a year I am walking down the school hallway with a smirk on my face and my head actually held up at eye level.

Ever since Saturday my confidence has been quite high. I felt pretty good about myself which is a shocker because I always feel like shit.

Knowing I could make Clary moan and get all hot and heavy so easily kinda boosted my ego.

No one had bothered me so far so another good point for today, but my confidence sank a big low when I walked to my locker, where Sebastian and his friends were talking, and I heard this:

"Yeah on Friday, we're finally going to have sex." Sebastian said with a shit eating grin on his face.

"About time bro! You've been with Clary for a year and half! Are you sure she wants it though?" One of the football jocks asked.

"Yup, she called me to get condoms" Sebastian said snickering.

"Seriously?" One of the guys asked.

"Yeah, I'm getting laid!" Sebastian whooped while the guys around him high five-d him.

"Don't tell anyone though guys otherwise Clary's gonna be pissed and end up calling the thing off, if any of you guys fuck this up for me I'm going to beat the shit out of you" Sebastian warned.

The other guys laughed and walked away as the bell for home room started ringing.

Sebastian walked towards me and stopped walking to give me a smirk.

"Problem? I know I'm attractive but you don't have to stare." I said.

"Problem with you? Always, but I'm too in a good mood to beat the shit into you or piss you off" he said grinning at me.

"What's wrong with you? You look like you just won the lottery." I said raising an eyebrow at him, acting like I had no idea why he was acting all lollipops and rainbows.

"I've won better." He said smirking harder and then walking away.

WHAT THE FUCK.

NO.

NO.

CLARY CANNOT HAVE SEX WITH THAT _BOY._

She deserves a man, why of all people would she have sex with Sebastian.

It was obvious to me Clary was a virgin as Sebastian had talked about _finally _doing it, meaning they haven't yet and the way she was so easily turned on by my touch, or was that just because of me?

Okay I have to find her and stop her or at least tell Isabelle, wait no I can't do either because me and Isabelle have just started speaking-ish again and Clary will be thinking why the fuck is he telling me I can't sleep with my boyfriend.

DAMMIT.

THIS CAN NOT BE HAPPENING.

I banged against my locker with a frustrated grunt causing the people around me to jump and even of them shrieked.

I'm probably scaring them even more than they already of me but I can't really care now because they girl I love is about to give up her virginity to that ass-hole who doesn't deserve it.

Who am I kidding?

What am I expecting her to lose it to a loser like me?

Wake the fuck up Jace this isn't a fairy tale, she isn't going to suddenly fall in love with you and then lose it to you, she's been with Verlac for over a year.

This sucks.

I guess I should have been grateful that it took them this long to get here at least.

Clary is about to lose her virginity to Sebastian.

It's okay.

It's going to be okay.

It doesn't matter, Clary won't even be important to you in a few years, this is just a phase.

Fuck no I'm kidding myself this can't be happening.

Shit my heart hurts, I can actually feel my heart physically aching and my head is thumping.

Is this what love feels like?

Aww shit I sound like a girl man.

I wasn't like this a year ago, I was a fucking sex symbol it's not fair, I wish I never fell for her, I've been such a mess since I did, even more of a mess since Jonathan died.

It sucks watching somebody you love be with someone else.

Clary can't have sex with Verlac.

The bells ringing but I can't bring myself to go to class.

No I refuse to come back to school on Friday to hear Verlac bragging about having sex with Clary, I don't think I will be able to take it.

Deal with it Jace they're going to have sex and you have to deal with it.

Black.

All I can see is black.

Ring.

_Ring._

Oh my head.

Shit.

I think im passing out.

...

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...

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**Clary**

**...**

I'm really nervous to go to school today.

I've got two exams and I'm embarrassed about seeing Sebastian after I asked him about condoms.

I can't believe I'm actually going to have sex with Sebastian.

It makes me giggle just thinking about it.

Maybe this will be a good thing, they say sex can make two people closer right?

I just hope I'm good at _it._

Oh God I feel so embarrassed just thinking about it.

I wonder what he'll think of me when he sees me under the clothes.

It makes me frown, I'm not exactly the curviest girl and my chest isn't huge.

I guess my butts kind of cute.

I guess that's the only thing I like about my body and that even though bits of me don't stick out my stomach is smooth and flat, and my legs are thin.

I've always been insecure.

What girl hasn't it?

But it sucks when you're the _only_ red-head at the school, with green eyes and annoying ass freckles on my face. I guess it's not that bad though, I am dating one of the most popular boys at school.

Crap the hallways empty and everybody's gone to class, I'm late!

Well at least I didn't have to see Sebastian this morning.

Wait, who's that lying on the floor?

I run to the body lying on the floor and see its Jace.

Oh my God.

"Jace wake up." I tell him.

"Jace!" I yell louder at him this time as my heart beat starts racing.

"JACE HERONDALE!" I scream slapping his face.

Nothing.

Crap.

Did somebody knock him out?

I can feel tears escaping my eyes.

I run to the nurse's office and tell her Jace is unconscious in the hallway and she comes back with me to where he is and we both grab one of his arms and place him on one of the strollers in the nurse's office.

...

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...

**Jace**

**...**

Ouch, my head kills; dammit this bright light isn't helping and neither is that stupid beeping sound. I groan and try to stretch my arms out.

"Jace, take it easy." I hear a voice tell me.

"Is he going to be okay?" an all too familiar voice says in a worried tone.

"He should be fine. Jace open your eyes please." The voice tells me.

I open my eyes and flinch because straight away the bright light comes to sight.

"Move the light." I ask, voice croaking from dryness.

"Oh thank God, he can speak." That familiar voice said again.

"I told you he would be fine, we just have to ask him if he remembers anything about why he might have passed out Clary" The nurse said.

Clary.

Clary was here.

Her.

Sex.

Sebastian.

Oh it's all coming back now.

Dammit I was hoping it would be a dream.

That beeping sound started increasing.

"Oh dear your heartbeats increasing again, try to calm down love." The nurse asked.

She moved the light out of my way and I sat up slowly and opened my eyes to see I was in the nurse's office, with Clary.

"Clary love will you go get Jace a glass of water please." The nurse asked her.

"Sure Miss" Clary said walking to the sink. She was here…with me.

Oh life why do you have to so confusing.

What was she doing here?

"Miss Fray here found you on the floor passed out on her way to class, do you remember why you passed out?" the nurse asked.

Ooh, so that's why Clary was here.

"I-I don't know, my head started hurting and my eyes were blurry and then I guess I passed out" I said lying.

Well half lying, that was true; I just didn't want to tell them that Clary's conquest to lose her virginity with Sebastian was the reason I passed out, especially since Clary was sitting right in front of me.

Clary passed me the glass of water and looked at me worriedly.

"Hmm okay, we'll have you been under a lot of stress lately?" she asked.

_You have no idea._

"Erm not really, just the typical school stress to do well blah blah" I said giving Clary a small smile hoping she would stop bloody frowning at me, instead her frown went deeper.

"Well if that's all, you just need to rest okay? Try not to get your heartbeat racing because that's what seemed to cause your blackout. Just rest here for an hour and if you don't feel well enough to go classes we'll call your mother and get her to collect you and oh Clary you can go back to class now." The nurse said removing the wires from my chest to which I now realised was not covered by a shirt and the beeping sound stopped.

"Can she stay with me for a while?" I asked biting my lip.

Clary looked at me in surprise and the nurse smiled at us.

"Sure kiddo's, I have to go fill in some paper work, so I'll be in the back office for about half an hour, try to behave and be quiet please as classes are going on." She said passing me my shirt and left to her office and I put on my shirt.

"So what really happened?" Clary said frowning at me.

"I got upset over something personal, nothing you know." I whispered.

The features of her face softened and she sat on the bed, legs crossed, opposite me.

She took my hand and put it in hers which shocked me, but I let her, it was so soft and comforting.

She looked at me thoughtfully.

"Is it Jonathan stuff?" She asked me softly.

"Kinda." I said looking away to the side.

Even though it was a lie, I didn't want her to see the pain and shame in my eyes, the one person who I had never spoken to or about the Jonathan thing was Clary and I wish she hadn't brought it up, as it is the number one and most painful reason I can't be with her.

"Hey it's okay, you don't have to be ashamed with me I won't judge you." She said pulling my chin to make me face her again. I looked her in the eyes to see if she was messing with me but all I saw was truth.

"I don't want to talk about it Clary, sorry." I said softly, pulling my hand away from hers.

"Okay, I get it." she said.

"Sorry about Saturday by the way, I didn't realise how inappropriate that was, we barely know each other, you're just my sisters best friend." I told her and straight away I could see her cheeks burn up.

"Yeah I get it, it was payback" She said grinning at me.

"Yeah." I said laughing.

"Why did you ask the nurse if I could stay?" Clary asked me.

"Company" I said shrugging, playing it off cool.

"Oh." She said clasping her hands together.

After that, we were silent for a while, she just stared at her hands and I stared around the room trying to think of anything to say.

Should I bring up the Sebastian thing?

I guess now would be better than never.

"Clary, I heard something about you today." I said biting my lip.

"What?" she said narrowing her eyebrows.

Damn that was so cute.

"It isn't spreading or a rumour so don't worry, I just over heard Sebastian talking today to a friend, about your _plans _for Friday." I said, watching as her cheeks turned red, almost camouflaging her red freckles.

"I'm going to kill him." She said blowing out her cheeks and then breathing it out.

"No don't erm he was just telling one friend, asking about advice I think like girls go to other girls for advice, my fault for eavesdropping." I said wincing at my lie.

"Erm okay." She said biting her lip.

"I just, okay I know I have no place to say anything but why him?" I asked.

"Excuse me?" she said narrowing her eyes at me.

"I just-you know what forget it." I said sighing.

She got up from her position and stood up in front of me, over towering me with her arms crossed.

Damn it was kinda sexy when she was angry.

I stretched my legs out so I was lying down with my head propped up on my pillow.

"No I don't want to forget it, what wrong with Sebastian? Why do you care any ways?" she asked fiercely.

"I just I think you could do better, be with better." I said truthfully.

"Sebastian loves me, I love him, he treats me well, and we've been together for over a year. What could exactly be _better _Jace?" She said angrily.

"I said forget it Clary." I said, but she wasn't done yet.

"No I get it, you expect me to lose it to someone like you right?" she said, steam coming out of her ears.

"You know what? Yeah you deserve someone who you could actually enjoy yourself with." I said smirking at her.

"And what makes you think I won't with Sebastian?!" she said furiously.

"Because Clary, I've seen you kiss Sebastian and I've seen him slobber all over your neck and your body but I've _never _seen you react towards him the way you reacted towards me on Saturday. You deserve the maximum pleasure, and somebody like me could give you that and it's not going to be Sebastian, you two have no sexual tension and chemistry and you know it, you act like an old married couple, a boring one." I said factually at her.

"Whatever Jace, you have no right like you said we barely know each other." She said turning around and storming off, but before she could leave I grabbed her arm, pulled her on to me and then quickly pulled her underneath me.

She gasped at the sudden change and I grinned down at her.

"Actually Clary, I know you enough about you to know you _well_ enough, and I'm sure you do to so let's cut the crap and I think I have a right to worry about your, umm, pleasure" I said biting my lip and I heard her catch her breath.

"Get of me Jace." she gasped out.

"Let me prove my point." I told her.

"What point!" she said scowling at me.

"That I can make you all hot and bothered, more than Verlac can." I whispered against her cheek.

"I think you proved that point on Saturday! What do you need an ego boost?" she said scowling even more, if that was possible.

"Oh so you admit to it, do you?" I said grinning at her.

"Shut up Jace! And get off." She yelled.

"I will Clary as soon as you tell me how this feels." I said, kissing the beginning of the valley of Clary's chest.

She was wearing a tank top so it made access easier.

I heard her take a deep intake of breath and her head tilted back against the pillow.

"And this." I said, kissing her neck and she let out a flutter of breath.

"Jace." She whimpered.

"Yeah." I hummed against her skin.

"Stop." Clary sighed.

"Just tell me how it makes you feel Clary." I whispered against her ear, making her shudder.

She raised her hips causing them to collide with mine and with her pressing against me, I let out a loud moan.

The feeling of her hips against mine for the first time caused my head to spin and I grabbed her hips roughly, pulling her closer, causing her to let out this strangled whine.

Oh God, that felt_ fucking_ incredible.

I need that.

AGAIN.

For the rest of my fucking life, oh yes.

"Good…okay? It feels good. Now…get…off…Jace." she said gasping.

I smirked at her response and got up.

"Does he ever make you feel like that?" I asked.

"Whatever Jace, at the end of the week I'll still be with Sebastian and giving it up to him." she said walking away.

Dammit did I just drive her into his arms even more?

...

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**_DUM DUM DUM. _****Tehee. Next chapter you get to find out what Clary thought of this and *drum roll* Clary & Sebastian's date! Let me just explain it here that he's trying to show her that Sebastian isn't good enough and she could do better – he wasn't trying to make her fall for him once again, partly but that's not his aim and of course his inner man-whore is just coming out that's why he's acting like that. Hope you guys liked it, wasn't my best since I'm actually feeling unwell and been in bed for the past three days. REVIEW & FOLLOW & FAVOURITE. BLESS Y'ALL.**


	6. Date Night

**SHORT ONE.**

**Somebody asked for Jace to tell Clary he loves her. lol c'mon people Jace can't do that yet, or maybe not even at all, him and Clary are barely friends and they have so many issues between them and wouldn't that be like really awkward.**

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**YO LOOK HERE! I need a beta :3 if anybody wants to be my beta for this story msg me :) it was really be helpful and it means getting the next chapter before anyone else ;)**

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**Review Replies (the ones I couldn't reply to) :**

**Adrianna: thank you **** & Sebastian is trying to say that having sex with Clary would be better than winning the lottery, lol.**

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**I DON'T OWN ANYTHING, NOT THE SONGS OR CHARACTERS, BUT I OWN ANNA BECAUSE I MADE HER UP & THE STORY PLOT.**

**Chapter Songs:**

**Katy Perry - Hot and Cold **

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**Clary**

**...**

**date night.**

**...**

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...

The event in the nurse's office was surprising.

After I had walked away all I wanted to do was run back to him and press my hips into him even harder than I just did.

_Oh my God._

I can't believe I had done that, but the feeling of his hips pressed against mine…

_Damn_.

Now I understand what all the hype around sex, well _good amazing fucking fantastic _sex is about, if you're with the right person any touch can feel good, but wait Jace isn't the _right _person, Sebastian is.

This is so bad.

I have a boyfriend! Sebastian Verlac!

On Friday I'm planning to have _**sex **_with him!

I have to get of the fricken Jace train because those tracks will crash!

God, I am being such an idiot.

The sooner I have sex with Sebastian the less I'll be thinking about Jace in sexual ways and more about Sebastian.

I couldn't be bothered to stay around for school after that even though I had my exams, so I ditched and went home and called in sick. I couldn't stop thinking between Jace and Sebastian and everything was just falling apart in my head.

Sebastian and I are together, Jace doesn't even want me, and he's just being a player. He's too much trouble anyways. What could I honestly get out of him? He's just a disaster waiting to happen.

Friday night will come and I'll forget _all _about Jace.

…

…

* * *

…

…

Me and Sebastian still had plans for Friday night and I guess I feel pretty prepared but I was still scared of the pain, but Sebastian loves me so I'm sure he'll be gentle and loving.

I know that Sebastian isn't a virgin, so it's sort of scary for me. I hope he's not comparing me to every other girl in his head while he's with me, considering this will be my first time and I doubt I'll be any good.

I asked Isabelle for all the advice she could give me, but since her first time was with Jonathan and he loved her so their first time was pretty perfect, so I'm hoping it's the same for me.

Me and Sebastian hadn't seen each other much during the week because of our very different schedules but I had Jace in quite a few of my classes so I could expect some awkward moments.

Tuesday morning I headed towards my first period, English class. Normally during the classes I had with Jace I wouldn't talk to Jace. Yes I would be staring at the back of his head for most of the lesson very discreetly, considering he sat right in front of me but today I felt so out of place and uncomfortable because of what had happened yesterday.

To be honest, I just feel disgusted. I have a boyfriend! And what I did with Jace in the nurses office was awful, I'd be pretty pissed if I found out Sebastian had been grinding his hips into another girl behind my back. I suck as a girlfriend. Sebastian would hate me if he knew what I had done...especially with Jace! He hates Jace! I can't even look at him now.

I plan to avoid him until we graduate.

I walked into my English class I realized I was one of the first students here, along with Jace. Damn it. I internally cringed as I took my seat behind him and didn't even have to wait seconds later before he turned around to open his mouth, but I beat him to it.

"No Jace, okay? Whatever sexual innuendo you were about to make, or whatever you were going to say about what happened yesterday or the weekend before that. WHATEVER, this has to stop now. I have a boyfriend. Your teasing was funny until it wasn't." I said cruelly.

Jace frowned at me but then his face changed into a cool look as he shrugged his shoulders at me as if to say "eh your loss" and he turned back around.

I took my books out while the rest of the class came pouring in and Isabelle took her seat next to me. Brilliant, this was going to be one _long _class.

Wednesday came around and I was so damn tired of this week already. Yesterday cheer leading practice had been a pain in the ass, all the cheerleaders except Izzy had a problem with me because I kept messing up the routine, which I guess was my fault, I wasn't concentrating and felt nervous about Friday.

I guess that's why they say you should let the moment come instead of planning it because then you just worry and get nervous over it.

PE was so good, well the amazing part where I get to see Jace shirtless playing basketball.

Thursday went by pretty fast, I barely saw Jace and I spent my lunches with Sebastian, who was okay, he was always making sneaky hints towards Friday that nobody really understood except me. I didn't see much of Jace this entire week, I'm glad he's starting to get the message.

…

…

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…

…

Today is Friday.

The day I become a woman.

_Cringe._

Isabelle had called me after school asking me if I was really sure about this and I had to reassure her that actually, I was.

_Not really._

He had shown up, wearing a casual shirt which fitted quite nicely on his toned body. He wore jeans that hung dangerously on his hips, as if he did it on purpose so it would be easier for me to take them of later on tonight. I was wearing skinny jeans which a jumper top because of the chilly weather, with my favorite jacket.

He took me to dinner in a secluded restaurant and we spoke a lot, about school, our upcoming plans, pep rallies, football and colleges, but it seemed like he was in a rush to get back to my house since my parents were out of town and before we knew it, he had paid for the meal, driven through and avoided all the traffic and were back at my house.

And about to have sex.

Oh my.

"Come here baby." Sebastian said as he sat on the edge of my bed.

I walked towards the bed straddled my legs around his waist.

He placed his hands on my hips and pressed them into him.

"You feel that babe? Oh I want you so bad. I've always wanted you." Sebastian said, letting out a groan.

He grinded his hardness into me, but for the life of me I could feel turned on, instead I felt sick and like I was betraying myself.

He let go of my hips and scooted up the bed, he reached out his hand, and I took it, raising myself onto my hands and knees to climb up on him.

"I can't believe we're finally going to do this. Raise your arms babe." Sebastian whispered into the dark silence of my room.

I raised my arms shakily as he pulled my top off.

I would have worn a dress but that would mean it would have been easier and quicker for him to get me naked, and any extra time would have been better than nothing.

I sat in his lap half naked as he stared blatantly at my chest. I would have crossed my arms but that would probably ruin the mood.

"You're so beautiful." He said, finally raising his eyes to my face. He raised a hand and pressed it against one of my breast.

I let out a whoosh of breath; finally my body was reacting to his touch.

"You like that babe?" Sebastian asked me, a smirk rose on his lips, glad to see me reacting.

"Uh huh." I whimpered as his fingers pulled down the cups of my bra.

He sucked in a deep breath.

He dragged his fingertips across the new skin available to him, causing me to arch back into his touch.

He moved me off him roughly and pulled me under him; he kneeled back and pushed my legs apart to kneel between them so fast I didn't even realize until he put his hands on my the waistband of my jeans.

Crap.

I can't do this.

Hes gonna hate me!

But I can't do this!

He curved his fingers into the waistband.

"Wait!" I yelled.

"What?" He said breathlessly looking up at me which half-lidded eyes.

"I can't do this." I whispered.

Sebastian's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"What do you mean Clary?" He asked letting out a sigh, sounding tired and fed up.

"I thought I could, but I'm sorry I can't." I said moving to get out from underneath him. I could feel the tears forming already. I hated disappointing people I loved, but I just couldn't do this.

He grabbed my wrist before I could get off the bed.

"That's not fair Clary, you told me you were ready A WEEK AGO!" he said, getting angry.

Ok, he was scaring me now.

"You're just a tease!" Sebastian said harshly.

"Get off!" I yelled at him, tears now falling freely.

A cold look passed through Sebastian's face, making me shiver.

"No, let me show you what happens to a tease." He whispered viciously.

"What?! GET OFF! GE-" He cut me off by covering my mouth with one of his large hands.

I tried to kick my legs out but it was no use underneath his weight.

"Mmmmmmhhhmmmhmhhhm!" I mumbled loudly under his mouth.

He smiled at me evilly and used his free hand to push my jeans and underwear down roughly.

I could feel myself hyperventilating, while his fingers were creeping up my thighs.

Higher.

Higher.

Inside me.

I had never penetrated myself during self-pleasure, so when he entered me it hurt so badly, and he pulled out and in so harsh and roughly I was screaming behind his hand, no pleasure whatsoever.

He had let go of my mouth during his attack on me and I let out a loud scream.

"You're hurting me! STOP! PLEASE!" I said crying my eyes out.

He suddenly stopped, looking very sober.

He backed up completely and off the bed, walking backwards, unconsciously towards the door.

"What did I just do?" he whispered into the room, the only source of sound coming from my retched sobs.

"GET OUT!" I yelled at him, sobbing hysterically.

His eyes widened.

"Clary I-" He started explaining.

"NO GET OUT!" I screamed out him again.

He left in realization of what had just happened.

I lied down on the bed for an hour sobbing uncontrollably before I moved my clothes off the bed and onto the floor and slid underneath the covers feeling disgusting.

This was supposed to be a perfect night which had turned into a disaster and even worse I had realized all I wanted was for Jace to be here.

To comfort me.

...

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**Its 6:52 am right now, lol I couldn't sleep and even though my inspiration has been lacking I thought a chapter was LONG DUE. Lmao I'm so sorry, and oh yeah that language speaking exam I was so worried about, I got a fucking C! hallelujah baby! **

**I hope you liked this chapter and review and follow and favorite and that stuff! Oh god I fooking lov ya. (Anyone who watches misfits will know who I'm impersonating lmao!)**

**Get ready for some drama during the next chapter ;) **


	7. I Want Out

**Thanks for the reviews, follows and favourites :') means a lot xoxo**

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**I DON'T OWN ANYTHING NOT THE SONGS OR CHARACTERS OR ANYTHING REMOTELY SIMILAR THE IDEA IS JUST MINE.**

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**Chapter Songs:**

**Drake – Take Care**

**Katy Perry – Part of Me**

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**Clary**

**...**

**I want out.**

**...**

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I haven't answered a single phone call or text since last night.

Somebody had come over and rang the doorbell and knocked profusely but I didn't leave the bed to answer and they eventually left.

I felt too drained.

I felt ugly.

Disgusting.

Violated.

One would think that having the same boyfriend for a year that, _that _dear boyfriend would understand that his girlfriend was not ready for sex.

I guess I thought wrong.

What I didn't expect was for him to try to rape me.

Isabelle kept calling me, but I ignored her calls, I felt bad and knew she would worry but I couldn't bring myself to tell her what happened, because I knew she would ask.

She probably has already called Sebastian and asked him how it went and why I wasn't answering her calls, God knows what he told her had went down.

Or in.

Whatever.

My eyes felt heavy and swollen.

Had I really wanted to lose my virginity to Sebastian?

What was I thinking?

_**That jackass**_**.**

I'm dumbing his ass as soon as I get back to school or see him next.

I should have known he was no good, I didn't even feel like I truly loved him.

I'm officially signing up for celibacy.

I had never been more scared in my life.

I wish my parents were back from out of town already so I could crawl into my mother's arms, but I was not going to tell them about this, I wasn't going to tell anyone.

Jesus, I miss her.

I miss Jace.

He would of never of treated me like that.

He may have killed someone but he would never do that.

Sebastian is currently more disgusting in my books.

Why did this have to happen to me for?

It just didn't feel right, I couldn't go through with it, I was trying to enjoy it, for his sake, to make him happy, but instead he did the worst.

I still feel disgustingly sore, like I can still feel his fingers inside me.

Why me?

I guess this is what I get for being a _**tease**_.

…

…

* * *

...

...

_**Knock.**_

_**Knock.**_

_**Bang.**_

_**Knock.**_

_**...**_

I opened my eyes to the awful racket sound I could hear.

I looked up to my bedroom balcony doors to see a worried stricken Jace standing there.

What the fuck?

I got up from the bed for the first time since Friday to see it was 2am, Monday morning.

The last time I had dozed off was at 4 in the afternoon on the Saturday, I had slept for almost 24 hours, all the way through Sunday.

I opened the door and let him in and closed it behind him.

This was the first time he had ever been in my house, in my room! He'd seen where the house was from dropping Izzy off here years ago but since he's never been around, I'm surprised he remembers where I live.

"What are you doing here?" I murmured rubbing my eyes, feeling self-conscious considering I hadn't seen a mirror since Friday.

I was only wearing shorts that might aswell have been underwear and a random vest I had pulled out of my wardrobe before retreating back to my bed because I felt disgusting wearing what I had last worn during mine and Sebastian's last date we will _ever_ have.

"You weren't answering Isabelle's calls, she got worried, and _I_ got worried. No one has seen Sebastian since Friday. Me and Isabelle both know what you two were planning to do on Friday. What happened Clary? Why are you avoiding everyone? Where the fuck is Sebastian? Why do you look so fucked up?" Jace said angrily.

I shrugged my shoulders and got back under my covers.

"Clary. Don't. Ignore. Me. What. Happened?" Jace said punctuating every damn word.

"Why is Sebastian missing and why do you look like shit?" he said roughly.

"Thanks Jace!" I said sarcastically, cringing.

I felt the bed dipping at the edge as Jace took a seat.

"You know I don't mean that, you're beautiful regardless, but _what the hell_ is going on Clary?" Jace asked softly.

"I don't know where Sebastian is." I said muffling into my pillow, inwardly gleaming from his compliment.

I was lying on my side away from him and he placed a hand on my hip and even though there was a thick layer of my comforter blocking access from his hand actually touching me I could feel myself blushing, glad for the darkness and hoping the moonlight wasn't bright enough to show my red cheeks.

"Why are you even here Jace?" I asked him, trying not to cry over the reminder of Sebastian.

"C'mon Clary, you're my little sisters bestfriend, you know I care about you, Izzy's worried about you, I was worried, she spoke to me more in the weekend than she has the entire year because she was worried about you. She asked me to call you, to ask people if they had seen you but you would never pick up your phone, and I doubt you've left your room all weekend, so how about you tell me what's going on huh?" he whispered softly, his hand now running through my long hair massaging my scalp.

"I don't want to talk about it." I whispered back, unconsciously pressing against his soothing hand.

"Did the dickhead do something to you? Tell me now Clary." Jace said, his hand pressing harder, anger running through him.

"It doesn't matter." I told him.

"Hell yes it does." He replied.

"Let me sleep Jace." I replied, tucking the covers into me even more.

"Not until you tell me what happened." He said scooting closer to me.

"I'm a tease." I whispered quietly, but it was loud enough for him to hear.

"What? What are you on about?" Jace said, confused.

"That's what he said, Jace, he said I was a tease, right before he tried to rape me." I muttered harshly, tears falling freely from my eyes.

I could feel Jace tense behind me, and his hand stilled on my hair.

"W-w-what did you say?" he whispered with disbelieve.

"He tried to rape me." I said slowly.

"Did-did he?" Jace said slowly, as if not to scare me off.

"He did…stuff, but he stopped when he realised how far he was going and ran off I guess." I said between hiccupping sobs.

"I'm going to kill him. I'm going to find him, rip his testicles apart, make him eat them and then kill him again." Jace said with dry venom.

I let out a dry chuckle and wiped my tears.

"That's why you haven't spoken to anyone?" Jace asked, I turned face him, he looked beautiful with the moonlight of the window reflecting his face.

He pressed a hand against my cheek soothingly and I willingly pressed into it closing my eyes.

"Yes." I whispered.

"You have to tell Izzy, Clary. She's freaking out, you can't lie to her about this." he told me.

"Okay." I said nodding my head softly.

"Clary, I just need to know… I know you don't want to talk about it, but how did he hurt you? He didn't damage you too badly did he? Will you have to go doctors?" Jace asked, worriedly.

"He put his fingers in me." I said feeling embarrassed, small and scared.

"Dammit Sebastian. I could kill him." Jace said, fisting the bed covers in rage.

"He was so rough, it hurt so bad." I said squeezing my eyes shut at the memories.

Jace just took my hand and squeezed it, sensing I couldn't say no more.

"Will you stay with me and take me to school tomorrow, I can't do this alone." I muttered, still crying silently.

"Of course sweetheart." Jace said sweetly.

"Jace?" I whimpered.

"Yes, angel?" he said, wrapping one of his arms around me, I could still see the anger in his eyes.

"Get in the bed and hold me before I lose it." I stammered out.

He gave me a small smile and raised his arms to pull his shirt off.

I had to bite my lip to resist the sigh which was about to escape my lips.

"You really don't care do you?" Jace asked, with astonishment.

I knew what he meant, about the whole murderer thing.

"No, I really don't." I said softly, with absolute truth.

"I wish the school was full of Clary's." Jace said sighing.

"hmm." I said, too tired to say anything else.

I felt the bed covers lift off, a cool draft entering the bed, and as quickly as it came it disappeared and Jace came up behind me spooning me, draping his arm across my waist, his warmth enveloping me, taking away all the coldness I felt during the weekend, tucking his head in the spot in between my neck and shoulder.

He soothingly rubbed my waist whispering sweet words in my ear,

I slowly fell asleep, listening to Jace's calm breathing and the relaxing at the feel of his chest rising and falling against my back and his sweet voice in my ear.

…

…

* * *

...

...

**Jace**

...

"Sleep tight baby, I'll never let him come near you again." I whispered to a sleeping Clary.

Rape.

That dickhead tried to rape her.

The girl I love.

FUCK.

FUCK.

FUCK.

FUCK.

DON'T KILL HIM JACE.

Stay calm, deep breaths.

The last time I flipped like this bad things happened.

That asshole _fingered_ her, against her fucking will!

What if he hadn't stopped?

What if he had actually raped my baby girl?

Okay, stay calm.

Hearing Clary breathe in her sleep relaxes me.

I can't believe she let me in her room and sleep in her bed with her.

I thought she would have ignored me knocking on her balcony; she had actually let me in and told me what happened.

Sebastian Verlac is a dead man.

I couldn't believe the state of her when she opened the door.

That was not what I was expecting.

My poor Clary, looked so damaged and so _scared_.

I feel so damn protective over her now, holding her in bed is the only thing calming me now, she feels so weak and limb in my arms.

I _need _to protect her.

I don't care what anyone says anymore, and after tonight I don't think she will either.

It feels so good to hold her like this, I've been dreaming of this for the past year.

It took everything I had not to flip while Clary told me what he had tried to do.

Seeing her cry like that… tore me apart.

Clary was always a happy person, always putting other people's happiness before her own and bad stuff like this happens to her regardless.

What shit are you playing at, God?

I need to punch something, I need to break something.

I feel so raged and so useless, I can't do anything to help her!

That is going to change soon, if I have anything to say about it, which I defiantly will.

…

…

* * *

...

...

"Jace wake up." I heard an angel say.

"Five more minutes." I grumbled, reaching out for the angel and pulling her towards me.

"Jace!" a girly voice yelled.

"Let's sleep man." I mumbled.

"Jace, we've got school, I need to speak to Izzy, please." The soft voice asked.

Crap Clary.

I'm in her bed.

I open my eyes to see a smiling Clary looking down at me, her eyes still looked sad though, but that's Clary for you, always trying to stay happy.

She looked fresh.

Her hair was tied back, the small parts let loose framing her beautiful face, it looked wet. She had probably had a shower.

She was naked in the next room while I was sleeping.

Err mah god.

She still had purple half-moons under her eyes, making me frown.

"I had a shower, I feel better. C'mon get up and freshen up, I need you to take us to school." She said smiling at me.

Okay, that was good, she didn't look like she regretted letting me sleep in her bed.

"Did you sleep well?" I asked her.

"Perfect. Thanks for last night; I really needed someone after what happened." She said.

"It's okay; we've got to talk more about what happened later okay? With Izzy." I told her.

"Okay" she said nodding her head, looking a little frightened.

"Don't worry." I told her giving her a small smile.

"I'll be downstairs waiting for you." she said, but just before she left, she leaned over the bed and kissed me on the cheek, then left without a word.

Damn she could get me to do anything with a kiss on the cheek.

I met her downstairs once I had washed up and put my clothes on and declined her offer for breakfast and we both got into my car that I had left down the road so no one had suspected anything going on.

It was a quiet ride to school, and the radio played in the background so it wasn't awkward, just calm.

Once we reached school, I pulled the car into park and turned to Clary.

"You ready?" I asked her.

She nodded her head at me giving me a tight lipped smile.

"Okey dokey, let's go find Isabelle and then I'm going to go look for Sebastian." I told her.

"Wait! What do we tell Isabelle about what happened last night? You weren't at home last night or in the morning and you show up at school with me." Clary said biting her lip.

"I say I tell her I was out all night getting high and being depressed like I normally am on a weekend and I came to see you in the morning okay?" I said giving her a smile.

"Getting high and being depressed?" she asked me with a frown.

"Another story for another day babe." I said giving her a wink.

She blushed and stepped out the car.

Go time.

I step in line with her and put a protective hand on her back and walk along with her.

I don't think she really cares that people are staring because she is pressing into my hand and leaning into my touch.

She must be in so much pain.

"How do you feel?" I ask her.

"I'm feeling fine, much better now, and I'm not sore anymore." She said blushing.

"Great." I said giving her a big grin.

We carried on walking into the school building side by side, people were staring but we ignored them and I walked her to her locker, where, what do you know, Sebastian was waiting, great, I get to beat the shit into him quicker than I planned too.

Clary saw him and cringed, squeezing in closer to me, and I tightened my grip on her back.

"Babe! What are you doing walking with that loser? Come 'ere." Sebastian said, looking pissed off at the sight of me and Clary.

Is he honestly showing his face around here?

"We need to talk about Friday babe, I love you, you know that and people make mistakes." Sebastian said giving her a sad smile.

I looked over at Clary who was still huddled against me, she looked pale and like she wanted to jump out the nearest window.

I also realised the hallway was silent and everybody was staring at us.

"Yeah babe, we need to talk about Friday too." I said sarcastically in a girl's voice.

"Oh yeah Herondale, what the fuck do you know? Piss off and get your hands off my girlfriend." Sebastian said.

"Ex-girlfriend." I heard Clary whisper next to me.

"What?" Me and Sebastian said simultaneously.

Clary's voice rose as she said "Ex-girlfriend you dickhead, now get away from my locker and get the fuck lost."

I couldn't help but laugh loudly which echoed pretty loud in the silent hallway full of people watching us.

I saw Isabelle and Simon watching us from the corner of my eye aswell as the cheerleading squad.

Goddamn theres going to be a lot of explaining needed.

"Screw you. You weren't worth it anyways you prude." Sebastian said angrily.

"Dude it's not because she's a prude, it's just you." I told him smirking. "And oh yeah Sebastian? Go fuck yourself."

And then I threw a punch.

And another one.

And another one.

One to the stomach.

One to the face.

One to the chin.

"That's for hurting Clary, you dick." I said, looking around to see everybody gasping and their shocked faces, especially Isabelle and Simon.

Sebastian was on the floor bleeding, coughing and his friends were helping him move along which he told me "I'd rue this day!" yeah psht whatever.

"You okay?" I asked Clary, still standing next to me looking shocked and still paled.

"Yeah, I just wasn't expecting to see him and to act so _natu_r_al _like what he did was forgivable." She said shivering.

"Were you for real? When you said ex-boyfriend?" I said grinning at her.

"Duh, I don't want to be with him anymore after what he did to me." Clary said frowning.

"Great!" I said giving her the biggest grin ever.

IT WAS ABOUT TIME.

AFTER A YEAR CLARY FRAY WAS SINGLE.

And I'm going to do everything I can to get her, annoy her for the rest of her life if that's what it takes.

Suddenly, Isabelle and Simon approached us.

Oh this was going to be a long day.

I'm glad I got to kick some ass though.

…

…

* * *

**SECOND CHAPTER IN TWO DAYS ;D I'm really trying even though I don't feel inspired at all lmao. I hope you guys enjoy this! More drama will be coming soon! Watch of for the next chapter, you get to find out everyone else's reaction to what went down on Friday and to what happened in school. I think it's so cute when Jace calls Clary his baby girl awww.**


	8. Consequences

**Thanks for the reviews, follows and favourites :') it means a lot, I love to hear what you guys think ;D some of you are so funny! Btw the longer the review the better, I love hearing from you guys ;')**

**& btw no matter how long of a break I take, I will never give up on this story, I will at some point have this whole thing completed and on the website! Because I honesty hate when I read stories and then people have ditched them half way thru and that the last time they updated was like a year ago -.- I promise to the bottom of my heart I won't ever give up and if I do it is only because technology has died and laptops no longer exist or I have died lmao :)**

**& by the way I changed my username from herondalefourmellarktravis tomybookboyfriendsaresosexy so don't be mistaken lmao! It's just that I have so many book boyfriends I love, I couldn't put them in one name so I had to group them into that. xoxo**

**IF ANYBODY HAS A GOODREADS ACCOUNT ADD ME! I ONLY HAVE 3 FRIENDS LMAO :(**

**goodreads(dotcom)/user/show/10335674-ray**

**WARNING. THERE IS A VERY SEXY SCENE AT THE END. MY PARTING GIFT TO YOU, ENJOY. YOU'LL LOVE ME FOR IT. SMUT ALERT SMUT ALERT. THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT CHAPTER. A LOT HAPPENS, CHANGES AND SHIT. READ IT, THAT'S WHY ITS SO LONG.**

**I DON'T OWN ANYTHING NOT THE CHARACTERS OR THE SONGS ANYTHING REMOTELY SIMILAR THE IDEA IS JUST MINE.**

**Chapter song:**

**Mario - Let Me Love You**

**Chris Brown - Beg For It**

**Clary**

…

**consequences.**

**...**

…

…

Jace hadn't been in a fight ever since the whole Sebastian incident.

Until now.

Because of me.

Holy crap.

Did this mean I was really important to Jace or something?

I guess I must have been for him to throw more than a few punches since almost a year ago.

Damn, that makes me feel things I shouldn't be feeling.

I stood there, trembling against Jace's side.

I had never felt so protected before.

He had the hugest grin on his face after I told him I was serious about dumping Sebastian.

He must be really glad that Sebastian was losing his girlfriend after all the torture he put Jace through.

I was still pressed against Jace's warm, comforting, _awesome _smelling chest when I heard the "click click" of Isabelle's pricey heels getting louder as they got closer to us.

Damn it, I knew there was no avoiding this.

I looked up from the floor and my gaze settled on a worried Isabelle and a confused but curious Simon.

"What the he-?" Jace yelled as Isabelle pushed him away from me and took his place holding me in a grip so deadly, hug.

"OH MY GOD! Where were you? What happened? What did Sebastian do? Why didn't you answer any of my calls?!" She yelled frantically, suddenly turning her gaze to Jace not even giving me a chance to answer.

"AND YOU!" she said shoving a finger harshly into Jace's chest. "What happened?! You should of punched him harder! Now somebody explain what the hell is going on!" she yelled even louder drawing attention while Simon just lazily smirked at her.

"Nice punches." Simon said, giving Jace a lazy nod.

Jace gave him a nod back.

_Sigh._

Boys.

"But seriously, what happened? Why the fight and break up?" Simon asked me, looking more serious than before.

"It's a long story guys." I told them, tensing up in Isabelle's arm.

"What happened on Friday Clare Bear?" she asked me softly.

"Can we all go talk in private?" I asked them.

"Sure love." She told me, giving me a small smile.

We headed for one of the table benches lounging outside, with Simon walking along behind us.

Jace misunderstood this as being dismissed and headed in the other direction, since he wasn't used to being with us, and probably thought I just used him to lean on while I went through this, but I grabbed his forearm before he could take one more step.

Isabelle looked at the transaction warily while Simon merely raised an eyebrow.

I looked up to meet Jace's eyes, to see his beautiful face bunch up in confusion.

"No. You come with me. I need you." I told him softly, and a look of relief spread across his face.

"He was there for me, he knows." I told Isabelle and Simon.

They just nodded their heads as Jace wrapped the arm I had grabbed onto around my waist.

People stared and I could hear some snickers and people saying things like "What is she doing with him?" and "Talk about social suicide!" but I couldn't really care anymore, I was too exhausted to deal with people talking shit, all I know is that being near Jace was the most comfort I had felt in ages.

It was funny how almost two/three weeks ago when the year started I said I would stay away from Jace because of my status and cheer-leading to worry about but now I've found that 'fate' has been pushing us much closer, and I'm not complaining…_anymore__._

I've just never felt so naturally comfortable around someone, and why would one want to give up a person they felt they could be around so naturally without the pretence? Not me.

The only other people I felt like this was with Isabelle and Simon, but they were my best friends, me and Jace have only had a few conversations, and have already slept in my bed together.

I flushed happily at the memory.

_Daaamn_, when he took that shirt off.

I have to bit my lip from moaning at the memory of his god damn sexy chest.

Well at least I'm not thinking of Sebastian and Friday.

We took a seat on the benches, Jace took a seat next to me and Isabelle and Simon took a seat opposite.

"Okey dokey, now explain what the fuck is going on people, you know I'm impatient." Simon said pointing a finger at me and Jace.

"Do you want to talk about it? Or shall I tell them?" Jace said to me, softly.

"I'm just gonna put my headphones in and you can tell them, I don't wanna talk about it or hear it." I said, avoiding Isabelle and Simon's worried stares as I plugged my headphones in.

I saw Jace nod from the corner of my eye.

He began to talk as soon as the first song on my playlist started.

I couldn't talk about it.

It made me feel disgusting and I was too ashamed to talk about it.

I didn't even want to hear Jace talk about it.

It makes me cringe every time and flush with disgust whenever I'd think about it, feeling like a cheap whore, a _tease_.

After a few minutes of looking out into space, I felt arms wrapping around me and saw it was Isabelle holding me with eyes that glazed over and I saw Simon looking at me with a very angry expression on his face and was very pale-ish looking.

Jace looked worse than he had last night too.

I pulled my ear buds out and gave them a meek smile, trying not to cry.

"Oh Clary, you should of came to us on Friday, you know we're always here for you." Isabelle told me in a small voice.

I tried to shrug it off.

"It's okay, I just didn't want to talk to anyone, I'm fine now, don't worry." I said trying to reassure her, there was no use, her grip on me just got tighter.

"What he did was not fine Clary." Jace said, in an annoyed voice.

"I say you report his ass to the cops." Simon said in an equally annoyed voice. "I can see why you beat the crap into him; I would have done the same."

Isabelle scoffed, "More like have gotten your ass kicked."

"Or that." Simon said pulling a side of his mouth up into a small grin.

"I just can't wrap my head around this. I can't believe he could do something like this." Isabelle said said shaking her head. "You were together for a year, he said he loved you, how could he do that?"

I gave her a lifeless shrug.

I didn't know myself.

"Move your booty Isabelle." Simon said as he walked around the bench to hug me tightly.

"Thanks Jace, for being there for her." I heard Isabelle tell Jace.

"Yeah Jace." Simon said scruffily against my shoulder.

"It was my pleasure." Jace said smiling.

_It really was._

Having him in my bed all night was the _best thing ever_.

He wasn't a disgusting pervert who tried to feel me up, which would have been a huge mistake considering I had just been almost raped a few nights before.

He was a complete gentleman that had just held me all night and comforted me, just doing what I had asked and he hadn't asked for anything back.

He had made me feel safer in one night than Sebastian had in a whole year.

I think it just made me feel even more things that I felt for him.

Before Friday I had convinced myself my feelings for him was just lust, but I think I was just lying to myself.

Now that Sebastian's out the picture and Jace is being so protective and sweet to me, I could see why I could like him.

It wasn't just lust.

"Guys I'll be okay, Sebastian's a dick and he's out of my life now." I said reassuringly.

I would move on from this, I know it.

"Spoke too soon Clary." Simon muttered underneath his breath.

I looked up to see Sebastian heading to our bench, looking pretty pissed off, sporting bruises on his face.

I hadn't had the chance to have a look at the damage Jace had done to him but seeing it now…let's just say I never plan to get Jace angry.

His eyes were surrounded by purple and green bruises, his nose was slightly bent and and a achy red, and his jaw was swollen, a bright pink colour.

"Get up dickhead, we have unfinished business to deal with." Sebastian said, clearly ignoring the rest of us, only talking to Jace.

Thank God.

If he had said anything to me I don't think I could have controlled myself to not cry and become a blubbering mess.

"Nope actually." Jace said giving Sebastian the one over, grinning. "I think I'm pretty much done with you, now move along."

"Get up and get away from Clary." Sebastian said, seething.

Oh snap, _why me__?_

"She doesn't want to be near you and she actually likes my company, so why don't you get lost? She's done with you." Jace said, smirking at him.

I could hear Simon snickering in the background.

"I. Made. A. Mistake." Sebastian said emphasising each word.

He then looked at me.

"Clary, love, please talk to me…in private. Let me explain what had happened." Sebastian pleaded. "I love you baby." He said affectionately.

Jace made a gagging motion and I couldn't help but laugh under my breath.

I stood up.

"You've got two minutes." I said moving to walk along with Sebastian.

"No Clary, I don't trust him to be alone with you." Isabelle said sternly.

Sebastian had the decency to flush.

"Let me explain, please! I won't do anything." He begged.

"Okay." I said softly.

"Don't worry I'll be safe." I told Isabelle, Simon and Jace, giving them a reassuring smile.

"Come back here after you're done okay?" Isabelle said.

"Okay."

I turned back around for a second while Sebastian led me to a more private place, I saw my friends worried faces and the one that struck the most to me was Jace's, he looked _torn__._

As if he'd finally got something but then had it been snatched away from under him, and he was helpless to do anything.

_Weird__._

…

…

…

…

**Jace**

**...**

I can't believe Clary is actually giving him a chance to explain himself.

Does that mean she would take him back?

This sucks ass.

The asshole says he loves her but was so desperate for a fuck he had actually tried to rape her.

That asshole makes me sick.

_SICK._

FUCKING VOMIT BLOOD PUKING SICK.

I can't stand assholes like that.

Hey, I may have killed someone but I never meant it, Sebastian is a fucking dick who actually wanted to rape her.

If I was in his place, I would have given her all the time she needed, being together for a year doesn't automatically equal 'must be ready for sex'.

I would have taken care of her, helped her relax.

Given her all the time she needed.

I would have _never_ rushed her.

I would have made her feel loved.

She _is_ loved, hopelessly by me.

He touched her in places that no man should ever touch if a girl never allows him too.

I can't believe he touched her there.

If I hear any shit going around of his side of the story of Friday night, of how he got 'laid' I'm going to kill him.

She is a fucking virgin.

That sick fuck.

The last person I had ever punched was Jonathan I had promised myself and everyone I would never get into another fight and that I would stay out of trouble, but hearing what Sebastian did, I was exploding on the inside, I needed to make him feel pain, worse than what he had made Clary feel, but I bet he never even felt a percentage of it.

I actually _want___to kill him.

"What's wrong Jace?" Simon asked me, raising an eyebrow.

_Lie to him, lie to him, lie to him._

"I just don't trust him with her." I told him.

"Neither do I." Isabelle said grumpily.

"Well I guess we just got to wait for her to come back, any ways I have class so I have to go, you guys have a free class right?" Simon asked.

"Yeah." Isabelle and I answered simultaneously.

"Lucky. Text me Isabelle once Clary comes back, tell me what she tells you." Simon told her, and then walked away.

So Isabelle and me were left on our own.

_Awkward._

"So Clary told you all that?" Isabelle said frowning.

"Yep, I pretty much ambushed her in the morning and I guess she needed to let it out, so she did." I told her.

Isabelle put her own hand over my own one placed on the table.

"Thanks for doing that, I know you don't know Clary well; I appreciate you taking the effort into getting contact with her, knowing how worried I was." Isabelle said giving me a small smile.

"Hey I care about Clary too you know." I said giving her a cheeky grin.

"You do?" Isabelle said, looking surprised. "But you never speak to her, do you?"

_Uh oh._

"Of course I care for her Isabelle. She's been around for ages and even though I haven't spoken to her much she's grown on me." I told Isabelle, giving her the half-truth.

Isabelle looked taken aback; she stared at me, indecisively.

"What?" I said defensively.

Her mouth dropped in a low 'o' shape.

"You're in love with her." Isabelle said, stating it as the fact it is.

_Oh my god, shit._

Are all girls _this_ good?

Why can't Clary see it _this_ easily?

"No! Why would you say that?! I barely know her!" I said, scoffing at her _'__absurd__' _accusation.

"You are, I can tell by the look in your eye, you're so angry about this, you haven't hit anybody in forever and suddenly you're beating the shit out of Sebastian. I saw the way you were holding her today, like she was a precious ruby being held by oil covered hands about to slip. I saw your huge grin when she dumped Sebastian and the way it dropped as she walked away with him just now. I thought I was over exaggerating what I saw, but now I don't think so." Isabelle said stubbornly.

"No I'm not, I just think of her as a little sister." I said just as stubborn.

"Yes you are! Oh my god, Jace I am your twin I can read you so well! What are you thinking?!" Isabelle shrieked at me.

_Cringe._

"I don't!" I yelled defensively.

Isabelle just gave me a pointed look.

"Fine I am, but it wouldn't work out, we're two different people." I told her sadly.

"Damn right you are, Jace you are my brother, but stay away from her, all you are, is trouble. She doesn't need someone around like you." Isabelle told me angrily, like the idea of me being with her made me sick.

It felt like my heart had just dropped into my stomach.

My own sister, Clary's best friend didn't want me to be with her.

"When did you fall for her?" Isabelle said moodily.

"A year ago." I told her, frowning.

"Oh Jace." Isabelle said, her voice softening. "You've loved her all this time?"

"Yeah not that you care." I said snottily, not caring that I sounded like a dick, I was too upset.

"Jace…it's not like that." She said softly.

"Sure." I scoffed.

"How come you never told me before?" she asked me with an annoyed tone.

"How could I? You told me to stay away, so I did. You didn't want to speak to me. Was I randomly meant to say 'Oh hey Isabelle I'm in love with Clary?!" I yelled at her.

"Okay, okay, calm down. You've got a point. I'm sorry Jace. I was just so angry back then. I didn't know how to be around you, I was angry for a long time. I just didn't know how to get back to after that, but I'm not angry any more. I don't want to be bitter about it and I'm sick of ignoring you when really I miss you and I love you." Isabelle said, her eyes tearing up a little.

Oh shit she's gonna make me cry in school, thanks for making me look like a pussy Isabelle, let's hope Clary doesn't come back in time to see my bawl my eyes out.

"Shit Izzy, don't say that, you're gonna make me cry and that's not cool." I told her, my eyes watering up a bit, feeling a bit of the guilt of my actions fall of my shoulders, just the tiniest bit.

"Come here you big lug!" Isabelle said, laughing at me, stretching her arms out wide.

I picked her up and swept her into the air, making her laugh and squeezed her tight.

"I don't want to fight any more." I whispered in her ear once she settled down to the ground.

"We're not going to." She told me, smiling.

I could see from the corner of my eye people were looking at us in surprise and shock, must have been _amazing, completely something so different___than every other day to see a brother and sister hug. Yeah, notice the heavy sarcasm.

Assholes have nothing better to do than relish in other people's drama.

Yeah, me and Isabelle had started talking again, it was bound to happen, we live in the same house _for God's sake_.

"I want to move on Jace." she said.

"Thank you God." I told her grinning.

"So you forgive me?" I asked her.

"I do, I may not forget what happened, but I can move on, it's what Jonathan would want. I think you've been punished enough big bro." She told me.

"What made you change your mind? You were hell-bent on not talking to me." I told her.

"It was something Clary said last weekend at our sleepover. The girls were talking about you and what had happened and Kaelie said something bitchy, but Clary had defended you, saying you made a mistake and nobody deserves to spend their high school years being treated like that and people make mistakes all the time, but even the hugest of mistakes deserve forgiveness." Isabelle explained.

Oh wow.

Clary had defended me.

She really does care, such a heartfelt angel.

I couldn't help grinning.

"You really like her. Aww. Okay now that I'm not in shock, I think I like the idea of you and Clary. Hey she can marry into the family and we could be sisters!" she said enthusiastically.

"Shhhh! People are still around!" I whispered loudly to her.

"Oh woopsie." Isabelle said, giggling. "Okay, so you like her? Well Clary's still going to be hung over what happened during the weekend, and she was in a relationship for a year with a boy she loved so it might take a while for her to stop moping about it being over, but I suggest you swoop in a month, maybe two, seeing how she is and totally get her to love you!"

"It's not that easy Isabelle. Does she really want to be with a guy that has a reputation like mine? Will her family even let her be with someone like me? She won't fall in love with me. She won't want to be with me." I told her frowning.

"Okay dumbass, let Clary get to know you and then ask those questions. She doesn't even know you properly. Become friends!" Isabelle said, flicking my head, grinning.

"Ouch, don't treat your elders like that." I told her, mocking disappointment.

"Older by 8 MINUTES!" She said grinning, flicking my head again.

I just laughed at her.

"Oh erm Izzy, I lied to you about something." I told her.

"What? I swear to God Jace." she said, annoyed.

"I didn't see Clary that morning, I couldn't sleep without knowing what was wrong with her, it was driving me crazy, and so I drove to her house at am and climbed up her balcony and knocked like crazy, I thought she would freak out or call the police, but she opened the door and let me and told me everything theeeen… she asked me to sleep in her bed with her, just to comfort her, then we both came to school together in my car." I told her, watching her reaction.

Her reaction went from annoyed to a word that could only be defined as 'fangirling'.

"OH MY GOSH! No way! THAT IS SO CUTE." She shrieked.

"Jesus Christ Iz shut up." I said, covering my ears.

"Sorry!" She said grinning. "But one thing I do know Clary has a crush on you."

"Say what?!" I yelled at her.

"Totally, all the girls in this school find you hot, even though they hate you, most of them still want you but resist you. Clary finds you hot, very attractive, blah blah, haven't you seen the way she blushes around you? And she's always defending you." she told me, nodding her head.

"Oh wow. I never noticed." I said, grinning at her. "But Isabelle, I trust you, PLEASE, do not tell Clary or ANYONE!" I begged her.

"Sure big bro." Isabelle said smiling at me.

"Clary's been gone a long time, what the hell could they be talking about, I don't trust him alone with her, shouldn't we go look for her?" I said frowning.

"You won't be going anywhere Mr. Herondale, to my office, now."

I turned around and saw the principal, Mr. Morgenstern and a snarly looking Sebastian standing next to him.

"Where's Clary?" I asked Sebastian, ignoring Mr. Morgenstern.

"Dunno, she ran off. I'm through with the nun any ways, we're over." He said shrugging his shoulders.

"Where is she?! What did you say to her?!" I yelled, getting closer in his face, one more word out of his mouth closer to punching him in the face again.

"Mr. Herondale, I suggest you come with me so we can discuss with your parents your actions of this morning, they're waiting in my office, let's not keep them waiting shall we?" He said sternly.

"Jace go with them, I'll go looking for Clary." Isabelle told me, putting a calming hand on my shoulder.

I loosened my tensed muscles and walked towards the office, ignoring Mr Morgenstern and Sebastian talking behind me, too worried about _where the fuck___Clary might be.

…

…

...

...

**Clary**

**...**

"Baby please! Listen to me!" Sebastian said, giving me the puppy dog eyes.

He had dragged us to the football field, where there was people around, playing football, and some cheerleaders doing extra practice, but it was the perfect spot to talk because even though people were here they were _waaay _too far to hear us.

"Sebastian, please stop, I don't want to talk about this, and I don't want to do this any more I can't even look at you any more after you did that." I said, feeling my eyes well up.

"Look babe, guys make these mistakes okay! At least I stopped, I realised how far I went, I'm sorry, I was just so _excited___to finally have you, to make you mine, I got carried away I never meant to let this happen." He said, pleading.

"Sebastian, you never stopped! You put your finger inside me, it was awful and against my will, I didn't want it, and now I can't look at you anymore. I'm sorry but our relationship is over, I do not want to be with you anymore." I said, fresh tears now spilling over my eyes at the memory.

"Clary, babe, I am sorry! Please don't leave me, I love you, I won't pressure you any more, we don't have to have sex, not until you feel ready, I won't say anything, I'll back out every time you tell me too, just please don't leave me." he begged.

"It's not even that, I won't ever be ready with you because I don't want to have sex with you and I never will; now please, this is over." I told him, wiping my tears.

His gaze went from upset to angry.

"Okay, whatever! Fuck it then! This is over! I'll go find someone who'll actually have sex with me!" He yelled at me, walking away from me.

"You go do that! I don't care!" I yelled back at him.

I walked over to the bleachers and took a seat; I just wanted to be alone.

…

…

...

...

**Jace**

**...**

I opened the door to the office.

I saw my mum and dad sitting there, looking very disappointed in me.

_Crap._

"Take a seat Jace." Mr Morgenstern, the asshole said.

I took a seat in the chair next to my parents.

"Sebastian, sit down." He told Sebastian, pointing at a chair on the other side of me.

_Great._

_Trapped between a hard place and a rock._

"Okay, Sebastian's parents would have been here too but they were had just gone abroad in the morning so we couldn't get into contact with them, but I am glad you could be here Mr. and Mrs. Herondale." He told my parents.

_Urgh such a suck-up._

"Jace my boy, what happened? We had no trouble all year last year and now it's barely been a month and you're already in a fight? I thought we had a deal that there would be no more trouble with you? Mr. Verlac has already told me his side to the story, now I'd like to hear yours before I make any rash decisions." He told me.

"Okay, simple." I told them. My parents raised their eyebrows at me, frowning.

I couldn't tell them what happened to Clary. That was her decision to make, whether or not she wanted to tell someone.

"Sebastian here, hurt my good friend Clary, mum, dad you know Clary right? _Isabelle's best friend?_ Well Sebastian hurt her real bad and it angered me, and I'm deeply sorry but he treated her like an ass so he gets beat up like an ass, what goes around, comes around." I told them decisively.

"Good friend? Please you don't even talk to her, I don't even know what she was doing with you this morning, she must of gone seriously of the rails from me breaking up with her." He said scoffing.

_That dick._

_Don't kill him, don't kill him, don't kill him._

"She broke up with you dumbass! And any ways she likes me much more than she likes you right now, I suggest you shut up." I told him smirking.

Before he could reply Mr. Morgenstern interrupted. "Well I'm sorry Jace, but what goes around, comes around isn't one of the school policies, I'm going to have to suspend you for three days."

"Okay, suspended for three days…that means I can I leave now right?" I said, walking out the room before he could even answer me.

I walked out, ready to begin my search to look for Clary, I got my phone out and was about to text her when somebody grabbed my arm and whisked me around.

"YO! What?!" I yelled, looking up to see my angry looking dad and my disappointed looking mother.

_Woops, forget about them._

"Jace Herondale, what are you playing at?!" My father yelled at me. "You've got enough on your record, and now a suspension? Wow that's going to look _so good.___At this rate you won't even get into community college, Jesus Christ what are we going to do with you Jace?"

My mother just looked at me, shaking her head in disapproval.

"I'm sorry okay? I couldn't help it, he hurt Clary okay dad? I had to do something." I told them.

"Oh Jace! Stop letting your petty crushes and your need to prove your manliness become such a fucking issue! I'm so sick off-" He started yelling but I cut him off.

"Physical abuse dad, fucking physical abuse, he actually _hurt___her, so I don't care, there was no need to prove my manliness or let my _'__petty crush_' get the better of me, I was just angry so I beat the shit into him." I gritted through my teeth at them.

Both their faces fell, and my dad let go off my arm.

"We'll speak more at this at home, you're coming home with us, you're not supposed to be on school property right now as your suspension has begun. Come on." He said trailing off with my tired stricken looking mother dragging herself along with him.

I followed them, sitting in the back seat of the car, I quickly texted Clary, feeling so fricken worried and stressed.

…

_**You okay? What happened? ~ Jace**_

_**We broke up…again lol, we had an argument but the point got across to him, it's cool, we're over. ~ Clary**_

Thank God.

_**You okay though? And good, he doesn't deserve you ;) ~ Jace**_

_**Oh you're too kind, and yes I'm fine, thank you :) ~ Clary**_

_**Not kind, just honest. ~ Jace**_

_**I heard you got suspended for hitting Sebastian? Btw you really didn't have to do that for me. ~ Clary**_

_**Yes I really did, anyways I've always wanted to beat the shit into him for pissing me off all the time, and yes that dick did get me into trouble but it was very much worth it to see pretty boy's face sporting four different colours ;) ~ Jace**_

_**It wasn't worth it Jace, suspensions a big deal :/ ~ Clary**_

Aww she's worried about me.

_**Doesn't matter Clary, suspension or no suspension my record is still pretty shit ~ Jace**_

…

…

...

...

**Clary**

...

1 am.

Why am I still awake?

My parent's still don't come back till Friday.

I feel so alone.

Today was awful.

About half an hour after mine and Sebastian's huge argument Isabelle had found me on the bleachers, she had told me Jace had got called into the Principals office and got suspended.

Sebastian's _such a dick_.

The amount of times Sebastian's attacked Jace but Jace had never said anything is limitless, but the first time Jace hits back Sebastian goes running straight to the principal's office.

_Fucking pussy._

He knew this would mean much more than a fricken suspension!

Anything bad, looks _really bad_ on Jace's record.

Sebastian's _such_ a cunt.

What did I _ever___see in him?

I was glad to hear that Jace was okay though, but this wasn't fair, maybe if I spoke up about what had happened, Jace's action would seem more fair, but then again a fight on school grounds is against policies, and what Sebastian had done to me wasn't on school grounds.

But maybe I should still speak up about it?

I'll have to think about.

I have all the time I need considering I _**can't even**_ fall asleep.

Damn it, I fell asleep in less than ten minutes with Jace here with me.

Maybe if I texted him to come over…

No, that would be **too** weird.

He had only slept over last night because he felt sorry for me.

Well I might as well take a chance huh, he might still be feeling sorry for me and I could use that for my advantage.

…

_**You awake? ~ Clary**_

_**Yeah, couldn't fall asleep, shouldn't you be getting your beauty sleep little girl? Not that you need it. ~ Jace**_

Wow, he's really coming on strong with the compliments today, it's so sweet.

_**I couldn't fall asleep, had no trouble yesterday though, don't know what's wrong with me tonight. ~ Clary**_

I hoped he knew how to read between the lines.

_**Want me to come over? ~ Jace**_

Oh yes, he could.

_**Yes please. ~ Clary**_

_**On my way in twenty ~ Jace**_

_**Key will be under flower pot on the balcony, lock it on your way in. ~ Clary**_

_**Yes mam. ~ Jace**_

…

Twenty minutes later, I heard the balcony door opening and him locking the key.

I heard him slipping of his trousers, but he kept his shirt on. I had on long pyjamas and a tank top. I felt the covers lift up as he slid underneath the covers and settled himself into place on my bed, spooning me, wrapping an arm around me.

It was a silent agreement between us.

"Hey." Jace whispered.

"Hi." I whispered back.

"Go to sleep, Angel." He whispered, snuggling into the place where my neck and shoulder joined.

I still couldn't sleep though; I was wide awake, _much more_ aware than I was last night.

Half an hour later, I still couldn't sleep, but I could feel Jace's breathing and guessed he was.

I felt uncomfortable and squirmy.

I wanted _something_.

Suddenly I wasn't tired anymore.

"Jace, are you awake?" I whispered into the silent bedroom.

"Yes" he asked.

Okay _crap_, my nerves were I was hoping he was asleep, okay have to go through with asking it now.

"I need you to do something for me." I told him.

"What is it?"

I took his hand, which was resting around my waist and pushed it _down_, just above where my panties started.

I heard him take a deep breath, a sound of a quiet gasp slipping through his lips behind me.

I defiantly had his attention now.

I could feel myself turning a dark shade of red, but my brain was too focused his hand on my stomach, making me feel warm in other places.

"Clary…what are you doing?" he asked me, his voice trembling.

"I don't know how to explain this, but the memory of what he did; it haunts me and makes me feel awful. Replace the memory and make it a better one Jace." I whimpered into the silence, as Jace rubbed small circles where his hand was placed.

"Oh Clary, I can't do this, it'd be taking advantage of you. You're not in the right stand of mind." He said, but he didn't stop the circles, so I knew his defences would be able to fall through.

"I'm not drunk Jace." I said chuckling softly. "I'm not high either; I am in the right state of mind. I need this. I need you." I whispered to him.

"Please Jace." I begged.

"But, you freaked out on Sebastian, I don't want you to feel like that." He said sounding regretful.

"It won't. You're different Jace. You said it yourself, your touch makes me react completely different to Sebastian, I never wanted him." I told him truthfully.

"This is just to get rid of your awful feeling that you can't explain? Nothing more?" He asked me.

He probably just didn't want any attachments, just friends with benefits or something like that, but _oh my god_ I can't believe this was going to happen. I was gonna take anything I could get.

"Yes." I told him.

"Okay, what do you want me to do?" Jace whispered into my ear.

"You know what I want Jace." I said, choking on a whisper, feeling flushed and well to be honest, horny.

"Yeah I know that." He said laughing. "I wanna _hear_ you say it." He said, his voice taking a much darker tone.

"I want you t-to make m-me come." I said stuttering and feeling like an inexperienced fool but _waaay_ too hot and bothered to care, I wanted him to touch me _already_.

"Clary, turn on your back." he growled at me, but before I could even turn around he softly pushed me on to my back and slid in between my legs, slowly sliding against my body, causing me to arch my back and gasp. _Oh my god._

He softly pressed his hard bulge against my covered sex, causing my head to crank back against the pillow, making my eyesight go hazy. A moan slipped through my lips. I was experiencing things for the first time. I could feel that he was long and thick. "Holy shit Clary." He panted. I pressed my own hips against his causing the friction between us to increase. "Do you know how good this feels?" He demanded, kissing my neck. I gasped in response. He continued to thrust against me, grinding his hardness into me continuously. "You feel so good. How good does this feel Clary?" he asked breathing harshly.

"Jace, so good." I moaned. "Please, don't stop."

He stopped, getting on his knees between my legs. I groaned from the loss of friction, he gave me a smirk in response. I looked up at him through hooded eyes, he looked back at me with equally hooded eyes, looking drunk and dizzy, a direct gaze that made me feel queasy, like butterflies were in my stomach, his eyes were dark, golden, a shade I had _never_ seen before. The darkness of the room made him look like an avenged angel, with the moonlight hitting his face at the right angle, striking all the beautiful features of his face. I suddenly wanted to kiss his scar. He suddenly bent over and pushed my tank top up, revealing my stomach. He pressed hot, wet, open mouth kisses all over my stomach causing me to quiver underneath him. I fisted the bed sheets to the side of me to control myself from tugging on his hair. "Your skin is so sweet Clary, _so good_." He moaned. "I could never get enough of it."

He stopped kissing my stomach and sat back on his heels, staring at me. His breathing was heavy and loud. "Can I take off your pyjamas and then your underwear? Everything of mine will stay on." He asked me seriously. I flushed, nodding at him. He pressed his hands against the edge of my panties, taking my pyjamas alongside them and slid them slowly of my hips and watched them travel all the way to my ankles very observantly, he then set them to the side of the bed. "Sit up against the bed, keep your legs opened." He ordered. I did as he said.

He kept his gaze on my face. "You have done this to yourself before haven't you Clary? Made yourself come?" he asked.

I nodded in reply.

"What do you think of when you do this?" he asked.

"I-I-I don't know." I told him feeling like a fool. He got off his heels and fell forward on his knees, sliding between my split legs. The cold air in the room, pressing against my now uncovered wet sex made me shiver. The heat from his thighs in between my legs balanced that out though. He leaned in close, pressing a sweet kiss on my shoulder, sliding his hands against my tank top, to the underside of my breast, rubbing small comforting circles. I closed my eyes, leaning my head back against the bed.

"Have you ever thought about me?" he whispered in my ear. I felt braver with my eyes closed, so I nodded, knowing he was watching me. "What do you think about me, when you're touching yourself? C'mon Clary, tell me, otherwise I won't let you come." He growled. _Holy shit._

"I think of you, I think about you m-making love to me" I whispered, blushing. He groaned into my ear.

"How do I make love to you? Am I slow and sweet? Or hard and fast? Tell me Clary." He whispered.

"It depends what kind of mood I'm in, if I'm having a bad day and I want to draw it out you're slow and sweet, but sometimes I like it when you're rough, taking all control." I said a bit louder.

"Oh _shit_ Clary, you don't know what you're doing to me." He moaned against my neck.

"Are you wet?" he asked, looking at me through half-lidded eyes, panting harshly.

"Check yourself." I said bravely.

He raised a lazy eyebrow at me and then slid a finger across my slit.

"Oh shit Jace!" I moaned, gripping the sheets.

"Holy shit you're so wet." He said staring at my sex, a dark look in his eyes.

"He stared at the finger that played me like a violin. "You're a virgin right? I just need to make sure." He asked. I nodded at him. He pressed his hand against my entire sex, rubbing slowly. I arched my hips into his hand, desperate for more friction.

"Make me come Jace." I gasped out.

"Gladly." He said grinning at me.

He then slowly slid a finger, very carefully and slowly, into me, causing me to wriggle against him slightly, but he placed a hand on my stomach to ease me up.

"Holy shit you're so tight." He whispered, watching his finger slide into me. I watched it too. He looked back up at me. "You want me to go slow right?" He asked. I nodded, whimpering slightly.

"Okay." He said. He slowly slid his finger all the way out, twisting it slightly.

"Jace, please, _please_…" I moaned.

He continued to thrust his long, elegant finger inside of me a few more times, and on the last time he made a "come hither" motion with his finger and before I knew it I was gasping his name, moaning it repeatedly, banging my head on the headboard.

My stomach felt like it was going to explode into a million butterflies, but in a good way. There was a tense knot in my stomach that was getting tenser by the moment, but then it let go of that tension and burst, and I went into darkness.

After a few calming breaths I opened my eyes, to see Jace staring at me, swallowing his Adams apple, his eyes hooded, mouth parted.

He raised a finger to his mouth, sucking on it, which I realised a second later, was covered in my juices. _Holy shit_. He noticed me staring and grinned at me. He passed me my underwear and pyjamas and I quickly put them on, way too tired to clean up after myself, I would do that in the morning.

Damn an orgasm can really tire somebody out.

"You really needed that didn't you?" Jace said grinning at me, noticing how tired I was.

"I guess so." I said giving him a small smile.

I climbed back into bed with him, and he got back into the position he started at, spooning me, I could still feel his hard bulge pressed against my behind.

"Did that get rid of it though? The bad memory? Did we replace it with something better?" He whispered in my ear.

"Yes." I whispered.

"Great, because I really did tried my best." He said chuckling.

"Hmm, you sure did." I whispered, drifting off to the best sleep ever.

…

…

**A EXTRA LONG CHAPTER FOR MY BABYS :D damn 18 pages and 7,895 words, but it's like 2:38 in the morning now lmao I really have to go to sleep and I haven't had time to edit this so if there is any mistakes I will correct them tomorrow. I HOPE YOU LIKED THE SEXY STEAMY SCENE. I hope you liked this, because the next time I upload will be after 5th March :( I'm so sorry, but I have my real GCSE Science Chemistry exam and I have to really revise for it, so I have to spend all of my time revising for that. LOL life is hard for a high schooler lmao, BUT I promise I will update as soon as 5th March is over as a treat to you and myself because I love to write for you and I know high schoolers around the UK will probably be having this exam too! So BYEBYE FOR NOW PEOPLE! NEXT CHAPTER WILL INCLUDE BITCHY CHEERLEADERS SNOBBY PEOPLE AND PESTERING PARENTS AND SOME OTHER GOOD SHIT AND CLACE DRAMA SHAMA AND IZZY SHIZZY SHIT AND ITS GONNA GET ANSTY REAL SOOON, SHITS GONNA GO DOWN! PLEASE REVIEW FAVOURITE FOLLOW TALK TO MEEE. Hope this chapter keeps you full until then ;) xoxo gossip girl woops I mean xoxo Ray :P**


	9. I'll Never Hear The Words

**Sorry, I am alive (lol)**

**I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG! It's been over a month since I last updated! I am so sorry! I was just really busy life decided to get difficult lol. I was dealing with some personal issues but now I am back and I am ready to hand out some chapters! It sucks that I'm back so close to the end of holidays but I will try to give you at least one more chapter before school starts! But no promises! I have homework, I know what you're all thinking? HOMEWORK IN THE HOLIDAYS? Sucks right? Yep. And Thank you for the reviews, follows and favourites :') it means a lot, I love to hear what you guys think ;D Btw the longer the review the better, I love hearing from you guys ;')**

**To the anonymous reviewers, thank you for your reviews, sorry I cannot reply because it's not from an account! Ily you guys too! Xxx **

**I try to reply to every review :) **

**I KNOW this one is shorter than most of the others, but I am very tired as I am writing this at 6 am and this is just a filler chapter really leading to the real drama that is soon to come in a few chapters! I am very sorry once again.**

**I DON'T OWN ANYTHING NOT THE SONGS OR CHARACTERS OR ANYTHING REMOTELY SIMILAR THE IDEA IS JUST MINE.**

**Chapter song: J. Cole ft. Miguel – Power Trip.**

* * *

**Jace**

…

**I'll never hear the words.**

**...**

* * *

…

…

She's still asleep. I _**cannot **_believe that just happened. Thank you God. THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH. I can't believe that I got to touch her like that, to worship her like I've always wanted to. Oh man. I can't believe she admitted that she thinks about me when she does _**that**_. That's so hot. Watching my finger slide inside her was the most erotic thing I had ever seen. I can't believe that she actually let me touch her; that _**soft amazing creamy **_skin.

"_**I think of you, I think about you m-making love to me" she whispered, blushing.**_

She's curled up next to me, legs tangled in mines, her head on my chest, breathing softly. After what we did I couldn't sleep, and I was tenting pretty largely in the trouser area another reason why I couldn't sleep. I need to relieve myself _**so badly**_.

I don't know how to react after what just happened. I'm scared though of how she will react when she wakes up. I just hope it's not bad. I wonder what will happen between us two after this. I just think she was just using me to forget Sebastian, but that's ok, I'd let her use me all she wants, after a year of loving her from a far, I finally got to speak to her, to defend her honour, to hold her, to comfort her and feel her body quiver and explode in an orgasm.

I hold her tightly as I remember I have limited time with her, imagine she realises she can't be without Sebastian because she loves him too much? That's the last thing I think of before slowly willing myself to fall asleep.

…

…

* * *

…

…

I slowly open my eyes, the sun peaking brightly though the curtains of the room, disrupting my sleep. I stretch my arms out and then remembered I was in Clary's room, in her bed. Then I remembered last night and how hot it was. I couldn't help the morning wood I had.

"Hmm Mhmm" Clary whimpered in her sleep, then adjusting herself closer to me. If she got any closer she would have pressed right up against my hard on, which would be very awkward.

"Jace." She muttered; she was awake. I nuzzled my face into her neck.

"Yes love?" I asked her.

"What time is it?" she asked.

"7:00 am, you should get up soon; you've got school today." I told her.

"Dammit." She groaned.

Ok, good so far, no awkwardness.

She scooted forward, snuggling up closer. Oh crap, all she had to do was move her arm and she would realise what was going on downstairs. After a few minutes of silence she spoke up. "Jace about last night, I-" she slid her arm out of the blanket but stopped half way and looked down, crap, she realised my problem. I squeezed my eyes shut, cringing inwardly at the awkwardness of this situation.

"Please, please ignore that, I can't help it." I muttered really quickly.

"Oh okay. Don't worry." She said, smiling sheepishly and blushing.

"What were you going to say about last night?" I asked her.

Please don't say it was a mistake and will never happen again, please, please, _please_.

"I erm…" She said, and then looked down again at my tented boxers.

Embarrassing much!

"Are you okay?" She said raising an eyebrow.

"Clary! I am fine ok, carry on…?" I told her, cringing again, feeling my neck heating up.

"Okay erm sorry! I was momentarily distracted!" She said blushing.

"Hmm yeah I can see that." I said with a smug smile on my face.

"Ok, so about last night, I erm, I don't know what to say." She said rubbing her neck nervously. "I'm so embarrassed about what I did, I can't believe I asked you to do that to me! I'm sorry" she buried her face in her hands.

"Oh come on Clary; let's talk about this." I told her, moving from my lying down position to a sitting up one, trying to remove her hands from her face, but instead she buried her face in my neck and I could feel the heat from her face warm up my shoulders.

I realised that having this conversation would be easier for her to not have to see me so I didn't try to move her from my neck and rubbed my hands up and down her back comfortingly.

"I don't get why you're apologising. I don't regret any of it." I said smirking. "Unless you do?" I asked her, slightly worried.

She didn't reply, instead she moved her head from my shoulder, rubbed her eyes and looked up at me. She sighed tiredly and her shoulders sagged.

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

"What happened last night just makes everything complicated; it should have not happened, how could I have been so stupid!" She said biting her lip.

Ouch that hurt. Well that got rid of my hard on. She does regret it.

"There's nothing to worry about, it didn't mean anything, you just needed a break and I gave that to you. No one will ever know what happened, I won't tell anyone, this will never happen again, I promise." I told her deadpanned.

"Never?" She asked.

"Never." I told her.

"Ok, I need to go get ready for school, think you could give me ride?" she asked hopefully.

Ha, she thinks I can give her a ride? If I'm around her any longer I'll explode and not in a good way.

"Sorry I have to go soon, my parents will probably be wondering where I am, they're kind of mad at me. I'm suspended anyways, not allowed on school grounds." I told her.

"Oh…ok. I'm just going to…erm yeah. I'll be back in a few minutes." She said leaving the room and I heard the door to her bathroom close.

Shit, shit, shit, I'm such an idiot; I can't believe I actually thought this was something she wanted! She said this was something she wanted last night! I should have known she was going to react like this. She wasn't in the damn right state of mind. I'm such a fucking fool! I just set myself up for heart break. Congratulations Jace! Did I really think she was going to wake up all lovey dovey and tell me last night was the best night of her life and she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me? For fuck sakes. I fucking climbed balconies for her.

""_**I'm not drunk Jace." She said chuckling softly. "I'm not high either; I am in the right state of mind. I need this. I need you." She whispered to me.**_

"_**Please Jace." She begged.**_

"_**But, you freaked out on Sebastian, I don't want you to feel like that." I said regretfully.**_

"_**It won't. You're different Jace. You said it yourself, your touch makes me react completely different to Sebastian, and I never wanted him." She told me convincing."**_

Lies, **all** lies.

I'm not different, I'm just a mistake, something she regrets. She doesn't need me, she just used me. She said she wouldn't freak out, but she just did.

Fuck _**this**_.

I jump out her bed, grab my trousers, made sure the house keys and my phone hadn't slipped out, and slid them on. I heard the shower running and decided to run for it before she got back. I ran downstairs the house and opened the front door and left. I am so fucking mad. I shouldn't be surprised though. I never fit into her world. Yesterday was just an anomaly in my fucking fucked up life. I should know better. We were on actual speaking terms, she made me feel like she actually cared about me and maybe even wanted something with me. God this is so fucked up! I get in my car and sit down. I look at the steering wheel for a good few minutes before banging the shit into it. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK. I can't take this bullshit anymore.

I don't have time for confused girls who want one thing and then push it away and need to be all "princessed" and act all "weak" like in the fucking movies and books. I have too much shit to handle. I can feel the actual tightening squeeze pain in my chest when I think of it. I stick the keys into the car and drive off in full speed, not giving a fuck if I get pulled over. I already have 'suspect of potential murder - still on-going case' on my record, what difference will speeding make, but I guess it would be a bit of a pisstake if I had to pay for a speeding ticket. I pull into the driveway and bang the car door closed. As soon as I step into the house, Isabelle walks up, all ready for school.

"Hey, where you been?" Isabelle asked me.

"Nowhere, getting fresh air." I told her, walking past her.

"Oh-kay. I'm going school now, I'll see you later." She said.

"Sure, whatever." I told her tiredly.

"Crabby pants!" she yelled before closing the door behind her.

I jog up the stairs and hope my parents haven't woken up yet, I quietly open their bedroom and see they're both asleep. Thank God. They haven't left for work yet. I got to my own room and face plant on my bed groaning.

Life is a confusing pile of shit man.

After a while I hear my bedroom door open and turn my head to take a look at who it is.

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**Clary **

…

I am so stupid.

Beyond stupid.

Beyond even beyond stupid.

How stupid does that make me now?

Because I'm sure I'm still dumber that that!

I should have not invited Jace over last night and I definitely should have not made him do that! Was I fucking crazy last night?! God I cannot believe what happened! I let him do that to me and I barely know him! God does this make me a slut?! I'm just so confused. I don't know what I want anymore. Jace probably thinks I'm such a failure and a slut. I used him to have a fucking orgasm then practically sent him running with my bullshit. He said it didn't mean anything, but I'm not surprised he said that since I pretty much told him that I regret everything he did, which wasn't actually true, I loved every second of it, but was so embarrassed. I could sort this out. I could, I know I can! He also said it was never going to happen again, dammit. I wouldn't mind being put to bed like that. I can't believe I freaked out on him though, this wasn't even his fault, and I had invited him over, initiated that he should 'help' me. I should have just let him sleep.

I turn the shower off and wrap a robe around myself. I walked into my bedroom to find it...empty.

"Jace?" I yelled out into the hallway.

"Jace?!" I yelled again.

He was gone. I literally sent him running. Shit. I looked out the window to see the car of his that I heard pull up to the drive yesterday was gone. Shit, shit, shit. He just fucking left! I can't believe that asshole just left! Urgh what an ass! But I guess after what I said to him, why would he stay? He said he had to get going, so he left.

Oh well.

I went back in my room and put on a white tank top, denim shorts and my purple string jacket as the weather was looking sunny. I slipped on my black boots, grabbed my backpack and headed for the door to make my way to school, alone, yay.

When I finally reached school I shoved my books in my locker and slammed it shut. I slumped against my locker and waited for Isabelle to show up. I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Hey Isabelle oh man I'm so-" I turned around to complain about how shitty my mood was, but instead face to face with Maia, Aline and Kaelie staring down at me. Crap. What had I done for God to punish me like this. What the hell did they want from me now?

"Can I help you?" I asked them.

"Yes you can actually." Aline said, and they closed in, forming a semi-circle.

"What happened yesterday? With Jace?" Kaelie asked.

Oh them nosy bitches.

"Nothing." I said, about to walk out of their semi-circle, but Maia planted her hand on the locker beside me and trapped me.

"Oh no, you're not leaving until you tell us what happened." Maia demanded.

"Why should I tell you anything." I growled at them.

"Because we are your 'cheer sisters'" Aline said giving the word cheer sisters a nasty twist. "And if you don't tell us we'll go to coach and tell her what antics you've been up to. You're also ruining the cheerleading squad by hanging out with that sad excuse of a life!"

"What are you going to tell her exactly? You have nothing." I told them, rolling my eyes at their absurd behaviour.

"Oh the fact Jace beat up your ex-boyfriend while you dumped him and were all cuddly with Jace, then left with him with his arm around you, and then spent free period with him! How about that huh?!" Aline said.

"Are you jealous Aline?" I said, raising an eyebrow. "I know he was your ex and everything but haven't you moved on yet?"

She narrowed her eyes at me. "Listen here Clary fucking Fray, I am so over him, and get that into your thick fucking head ok? And are you trying to say that you are going to move on to him? Damn sluts move on quickly don't they." She said, smirking, Kaelie and Maia just laughed. I don't understand why we bother to pretend we are friends at times.

"No I'm not moving on to him." I said frowning.

"Well it sure looks like it, that's the rumour that's spreading around." Maia said.

No surprise there, I knew people would spread rumours straight away.

"Well don't believe everything you hear." I snarled at her.

"Well listen to me you dumbass, hanging out or even being associated with Jace is bad fucking news, you're are ruining are reputation as cheerleaders! Do you want to an outcast again? Because the team will vote you off and you know that! So just stay away from him!" Aline yelled at me. I have the feeling she might still have a thing for him, because she did only break up with him after what happened with Jonathan, to stay popular and not become out casted I guess? She probably still liked him though.

"Whatever. It was a onetime thing, it won't happen again." I told them.

"Well it better be, what the fuck were you thinking?" Maia screeched.

"I honestly have no idea." I whispered as the three of them walked away from me.

"What the hell was that about?" Isabelle said, frightening me, I didn't even realise she had come.

"Just them being usual bitches." I told her.

"About the Jace thing?" She asked.

"Yeah...How'd you know?" I asked her, biting my lip.

"The whispers in the hallways tell me everything, people won't stop talking about what happened between you and Jace and Sebastian yesterday." She told me.

"Well screw them." I said scowling.

"Okay love." Isabelle said with an amused smile on her face.

"Can we just go to class?" I asked her.

"Sure." she said laughing.

I can see she was thoroughly enjoying my pain, the reason why, I'm not sure but I'm too tired to ask. As we walked to class I could see people staring at me and whispering. Damn them to hell.

I was looking down, avoiding contact with all the beady eyes staring back at me, until, the ground was much closer to my face and I had fallen flat on my ass, what the fuck?

"Oh shit Clary, watch where you're going, I'm sure your murderer boyfriend can pick you up though!" Sebastian said laughing. That dickhead had pushed me down to the floor. This is what I hate about relationships. When the girl breaks up with the boy he becomes bitter and bitchy, worse than girls at times.

"Fuck you Sebastian!" Isabelle yelled at him, and reached a hand out to help me up.

I got up and dusted myself, and turned around to face Sebastian.

"Why do you have to act like such a bitter bitch of a girl when stuff like this happens Sebastian? Just move on, it's pathetic." I cried at him, his friends surrounding him started making "ooooooooh" sounds and Sebastian turned to give them death stares.

"Oh yeah, move on like you moved on to Jace so fast?" He growled at me, and his friends made even more stupid noises.

"There is nothing going on with me and Jace! Nothing has and nothing will!" Lies, lies, lies I told them all lies.

"Yeah, whatever." He snarled at me.

Then he and his clan walked away from us.

"Such assholes." Isabelle exclaimed.

"I know right." I agreed with her.

"Do you think he'll ever stop being bitter?" She asked.

"God knows." I groaned at her.

"It's probably because you wouldn't give up your virginity." She said and started laughing.

I on the other hand tensed up at the reminder of Friday.

"Shit Clary I totally forgot about that, crap I'm such a shitty person!" She said apologetically, turning to give me a side squeeze.

"It's ok." I said, smiling at her meekly, squeezing back.

We both walked into class and took our seats.

What a shit start to my day and what I didn't know until later was that it was going to get worse.

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I left my last class before lunch and went to the cafeteria to grab a lunch and a seat for me, Isabelle and Simon. I got in line and grabbed lunch and took a seat down on a lunch table. A few minutes later Isabelle and Simon arrived and took their seats at the lunch table. We spoke about our boring day. We ate lunch, pulled jokes and cheered ourselves up before Matt Anderson came up to our table.

"Can we help you?" Simon asked him.

Matt Anderson was a dickhead. There was no other word to describe him. He pulled the meanest pranks on everyone, he treated girls like shit, did drugs, I don't know how he managed to pull a standard C grade all year. He was also Sebastian's best friend AKA trouble.

"Yes indeed. Clary Fray, I am supposed to deliver this to you." And the he dropped a bucket of red paint over my head.

I heard gasps, laughter and shrieks.

I heard Isabelle and Simon screaming at him viscously.

I felt the red paint stick to me like a second skin.

I felt my whole body heat up in embarrassment and my eyes burn at the need to cry.

I can't believe this was happening to me.

"Red to symbolise blood, the blood that a murderer draws from its prey. Murderer like Jace. More shit will happen like this if you keep hanging out with the likes of him. Consider yourself warned." He said, laughing.

I wiped the red paint from my eyes and face, and ran out of that cafeteria as fast as I could.

I ran into the girl's toilets and into the stall and started crying my eyes out. I quickly texted Isabelle not to come after me like I expected she would and told her I'd be fine and sort myself out. My week couldn't have been any worse and it was only Tuesday. Why did this shit only ever happen to me? I wiped down all the paint as much as I possibly could, and then went to the empty hallway and grabbed my stuff from my locker and headed home. I got plenty of stares from people looking at the girl covered in red paint. The idiot ruined my favourite purple jacket urgh!

When I finally got home I stripped off my clothes and got into the hot shower. My ears still burnt from embarrassment at what he had done to me. FUCKING MATT ANDERSON, I HATE HIM! I guess I deserve it somehow, for using Jace like that. I never wanted any of this to happen. Why was our school full of judgemental assholes?

When I had finally finished my shower, I put on a long shirt that reached the top of my thighs and some boxers. When I checked the clock it was only 2:45 so school was still going on. I made myself some food and ate. Then I had nothing really to do. Life is so boring, sigh. I thought about texting Jace but thought that was useless, he wouldn't want to talk to me anyways. But then my phone rang.

"Hey." Jace said curtly.

"Hi?" I said, confused.

"Isabelle asked me to check on you, since she couldn't because she is in school, but she didn't say why. What happened?" He asked tiredly.

"It doesn't matter." I snapped.

"Clary…"He said sternly.

"What Jace?" I said angrily.

"Please tell me what happened?" He asked calmly.

"Nothing, I just wasn't feeling well so left school to get some rest." I told him.

"Okay, Clary, are you ok now?" He said, in a tone that said he didn't believe me.

"Yeah I'm fine. Bye." I said before hanging up,

Well that wasn't weird at all(!)

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Jace

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Goddamn Matt Anderson. I would fucking beat the shit into him, had I not just got suspended for beating the shit out of Sebastian. I can't believe he threw fucking paint over her in front of everyone just because of me! I may not be in the best mood with her right now but I never wanted for her to go through this.

I should just stay away from her, if Matt was being honest, then him and other people would go after her too. When Isabelle had called and told me what had happened I felt like strangling him, and myself. This was partially my fault. I had beaten up Sebastian and should have just left Clary alone. When I called her I had told her I didn't know because I just wanted to know what she would tell me, but she lied, I think she didn't want to make me feel guilty or like shit for what happened to her. Or maybe she just didn't want anything to do with me so she didn't bother even telling me. That makes sense. I don't blame her.

Ever since I got home I had sat on my ass and watched depressing love angst movies. Don't judge me. I just felt awful and Magnus had recommended them to me. I didn't want to ring Clary because it just felt awkward after walking out of her house like that but I just wanted to hear her voice and make sure she was ok. God, I miss her. Jeez I really need to move the fuck on. I really didn't want to call after Isabelle had asked and I told her that but when she asked why it was a problem I remembered of course Isabelle had no idea what happened last night, she thinks me and Clary were on okay terms and even friends.

I don't know how we're going to get passed through this. We're probably not. She'll probably ignore me to save herself the torture of being attacked regularly. I don't blame her, I go through it every day and if I had the choice I would get rid of it for anything, except maybe Clary. God I was so whipped. She just needed me when she was feeling lonely, probably needed a distraction and just used me. Yup that's exactly what I was and deserved to be.

A distraction.

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**Hai people. Review, favourite, follow. Do your thing. I love you all. Thanks for sticking by me and being patient. Cookies for all of you xxxxxx**

**"After a while I hear my bedroom door open and turn my head to take a look at who it is." - this line will lead into what the next chapter will be about, that's why you don't find out in this chapter when Jace's POV comes back at the end. It shall be discussed next chapter! So I hope no ones confused.**


	10. Accusations

**Hai, I like you guys. **

**Enjoy this chapter my lovelies. **

**I know it's shorter than usual and I promised longer chapters but for this one, it's purposely short! I wanted to give you guys a cliff hanger ;) **

**This is an exciting chapter where you get to find out more on what happened during freshman year with Jonathan and Jace, the night Jonathan died, sophomore year and the past!**

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**I DON'T OWN ANYTHING NOT THE SONGS OR CHARACTERS OR ANYTHING REMOTELY SIMILAR THE IDEA IS JUST MINE.**

**Chapter songs: **

**Linkin Park – What I've Done**

**Nickelback – Photograph**

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**Jace**

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**accusations.**

**...**

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Today couldn't have gone worse.

But unfortunately for me, it did.

Obviously.

When do I ever get a good day?

After I had gotten home my dad had come in after a while to tell me some bad news. You see, the entire ordeal with the death of Jonathan was that it had happened on prom night, the last day of school, so when I called the ambulance and they had rushed to Jonathan's house to take him to the hospital, their first thought was that he had gotten a bit too crazy on his night out and got himself into some trouble. That night, Jonathan and I had gotten into a fight, which had led to his death.

Only 5 people on the planet know the honest to God truth about what happened that night, everybody else has their ideas and assumptions. Only Isabelle, Magnus, Alec, my mum and dad knew the truth. Max would know when he was much older; I'm pretty sure when he gets to high school people will call him the brother of a murderer. They would probably say shit to Isabelle too but everyone's scared of her sassy attitude. Maybe Clary knew if Isabelle had told her, but I doubt it, Jonathan was a tough subject for everyone, especially for Isabelle, they probably don't bring it up much.

Isabelle and Jonathan had started going out three months after school started. They were in the same chemistry class and they were lab partners. It's amazing how something like a seating plan can change the course and path of life. Imagine Isabelle hadn't been seated next to Jonathan, but someone else, would they still have gone out? Would Jonathan still be alive? For the first month of school, Jonathan had created himself a reputation, he flirted with all the girls, he had a spot on the football team, and he was popular just like the rest of us on the team. People adored him like they adored me; he was the white blonde-haired version of me pretty much.

Jonathan and I were best friends in middle school. We were brothers; we always had each other's backs and did everything together but that changed. Jonathan and I were having issues. It all started when I got the spot for quarterback, Jonathan wasn't so happy and therefore he started acting out, he was acting like a bitchy girl, we stopped spending time together, and that was it, we disliked eachother, it was an on-going feud for months. Another thing that changed everything, if he had got the spot for quarterback, would I have been the one to act out instead? Would I be the bitter one, would I be the one who is dead instead of Jonathan? Isabelle and Jonathan had gotten to know each other over the month and Jonathan kept asking her out, but Isabelle kept saying no. I had overheard plenty of conversations between Isabelle and Clary about Jonathan while they had been in the house. Isabelle pretty much liked Jonathan, Jonathan wanted her, and Isabelle planned to play hard to get for a few months. I almost puked after hearing Isabelle and Clary gushing and squealing to each other.

The second month of school, Jonathan changed completely which was so weird for such a short space of time. He stopped flirting with girls and totally turned all his attention to Isabelle, he was always opening doors for her, bringing her chocolates, small gifts, getting her lunch, all these nice little things. He was very protective over her, me and him still had our issues though, I had told Isabelle I didn't like him or trust him, and that I thought he was using her to get to me, but she flipped out and just told me to go fuck myself, but I just left it and thought hey, every girl eventually goes through her first heart break in high school, except if Jonathan did anything, I promised on my grave I was going to beat the crap into him.

During the third month of school, Jonathan had asked Isabelle out once again and she had decided to say yes.

That night of Jonathan's death,I kept my promise.

The police and doctors had done some analysis shit on the body and found over 10 people's DNA on Jonathan's body. It was a few people I didn't know, and the ones I did know, was mines, Kaelie's and Isabelle's. Those two were crossed of as suspects as they were at different places during the time of his death; they also had witnesses that proved they weren't there when it happened. As for me, there was quite a bit of evidence that could have proved it's me, also after what had happened at the prom, which was very public, proved it could have been me, so I was still under suspect.

I was so sick of it, the lies I had to tell to keep my families reputation as good as much as possible. When the incident happened I had left to Canada to stay with Alec and Magnus for the summer. Leaving the country after the attack was another type of proof they used against me, saying I was trying to escape before I got caught, but we told them it was a trip that had been planned for a while and that I was just going there for a holiday.

During the summer after the accident, I was a complete mess; I was going out every night in Canada, getting high and drinking to forget the past year, to forget all the mistakes I made. Sometimes I even thought about suicide, I believed I wasn't good enough to be on this planet. The guilt came in tons, sometimes the pain was so bad I felt like I couldn't breathe like I was suffocating or even drowning. I felt like I was going to die from it. I had pretty much killed my childhood best friend. Every time I thought about it, I would get high or drunk to forget.

I never wanted to remember it, every day I wanted to take that day back. If I had one wish it wouldn't be for money, fame, not even Clary, it would be to have Jonathan back, or take that day back. I miss him so much. Whenever I think of him, I don't think of how badly we argued during freshman year, I think about how in middle school we would have races to get home, we would play football after school, tease each other about girls and first crushes, I just miss the boy that was my brother for 8 years of my life.

So my dad had told me that they wanted me back in the courts in two weeks' time to plead my case again. God, I was so sick of this shit, I wish I could just be honest about what happened and just take whatever punishment they were going to give me, whether that meant 25 to life or whatever, I was just sick of lying and being called a liar. If I could tell the truth maybe the weight of my shoulders would lessen, the guilt would never leave me but being honest would be helpful. I miss having friends, I miss having people to talk to, I miss people admiring me, and I miss people not treating me like shit and not isolating me and not being afraid of me. I just fucking miss it all.

All this bullshit on top of all the other bullshit going on with Clary was making me real tired, real fast. After getting of the phone with clary all I wanted to do was go out and get fucking drunk and fucking laid. Damn I want to go out and have fucking sex. Fuck saving myself for anyone. What was the point? Clary and I weren't going to happen, she was confusing. I was her distraction and now I _**need **_a distraction. She used me to forget about Sebastian, and now I was going to use someone else to forget Clary, an on-going cycle of abusing and using people.

I grabbed my keys from the top of my desk, and ran downstairs and left the house. I never have to explain to my parents where I'm off to like Isabelle and Max and Alec had to or would have to do, they didn't bother asking me, as long as I was home to get ready for school, they wouldn't worry. I drove the nearest club out of the city to get away and make sure I didn't run into anyone I would know. I showed the bouncer my fake ID and got into the club. I went to the bar and ordered myself a drink. It wouldn't take long before some girl came up to me, my record is 49 seconds. I took a sip from my drink and took a seat on the bar stool. Normally when I girl comes up to me at a club I would never sleep with them or take them home, I would just flirt with them, make out with them or just 'play' with them with my hands, but we would never have sex, since I'm a virgin, and that's something I wanted to keep for someone special, well until tonight at least.

I know it sounds lame that a guy as popular as me and known for getting all the girls, was a virgin but this was something that actually meant something to me. I didn't believe in meaningless sex, I mean why would I want to give someone I barely know such a personal part of myself? I just didn't get meaningless sex, but today I didn't want to think about my morals, I just wanted to let loose and forget everything, while I wasn't high or drunk, I mean I was going to have sex but I didn't want to be so out of my senses I couldn't feel it or remember it for the first time.

"Well hello there, good looking." I smirk, that didn't take long at all. I take a sip of my drink and turned around to have a look at my admirer. She had long blonde hair falling down her back in waves, big blue eyes and bow shaped lips smothered in red lipstick. She was wearing a tight, bright pink tank top and her nipples were poking sharply through it, I don't think she was wearing a bra. She was wearing denim shorts that should have just been a pair of underwear and had a thin scarf draped around her neck. She looked slutty but that was what I was looking for. Clary could pull this look of much better without even looking slutty. URGH I NEED TO STOP THINKING ABOUT CLARY. I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her closer into my widespread legs.

"Hello gorgeous, how can I help you?" I asked her, rubbing my hand slowly up and down her back.

"Oh, just looking for a good time, do you want to help me?" she said sultry, biting her lip and looking at me through lowered lashes. Clary looked much more seductive when she did that, even when she wasn't trying. STOP THINKING ABOUT HER.

She put her hands on my thighs and started rubbing them up and down. "Hmm baby sure, how about I help you in one of the backrooms?" I tell her, giving her smoldering eyes and a lazy smirk.

"Hmm, yes please." She murmured.

She didn't know my name and I didn't know hers but that didn't matter. All that mattered was for the next hour I was going to forget my problems and forget about Clary. I was going to enjoy this night. I grabbed her hand and we ran to the back of the club, where there was a long hallway. We were both laughing as we ran to find an empty room. We checked each door but couldn't seem to find one that was locked and the ones that weren't locked were occupied which made us laugh, especially when we opened a door to see a threesome going on in one of the rooms.

We finally came across the last door which was opened and empty, so we both crashed into the door, fell into a tangle of limbs and then she pushed me down onto the bed, and then jumped on me. She seductively crawled up to me and planted herself on my abdomen. She slipped her hands under my shirt and massaged the skin underneath. The only thing you can hear in this room was the heavy breathing of this girl and me; she pressed her lips against mine and started kissing me roughly. I could taste her red lipstick. She gasped in my mouth and I slid my tongue inside her mouth. I grabbed her waist and pulled her harder against me. We were grinding against each other for a while, but then I remembered something, a condom. Shit.

"Do you have a condom?" I asked her breathlessly.

"Ah, what? Oh wait…condom, yeah in my…bag" she quickly jumped of me to the bag that I hadn't even seen her bring in or place on the bed side table. She quickly unzipped it and pulled out a condom and then threw it on the bed near us.

"Take your shirt off." She whispered as she nibbled in my ear. I clumsily grabbed the edges of my shirt and pulled it off. My heart was beating so fast, this was it; I was going to lose my virginity, God I sounded like such a fucking girl. She pulled her own shirt off and unclipped her bra. Damn this girl had nice tits. I wonder what Clary's tits look like. Jesus Christ, Jace you have a hot girl grinding her fucking pussy into your crotch and you're still thinking about Clary, stop! I knew what Clary looked like under the jeans though, all bare, hot and wet. She was so damn tight, I wonder if this girl would be that tight, but then again, she's probably not a virgin. Jace stop thinking about Clary and her tightness! But damn she was so nice and tight, her body sucked my fingers right in, my dick was so jealous of my fingers. Just thinking about that night causes me to groan out loud.

"That's right baby, moan for me." The girl said, rubbing her chest against my bare one. "Oh you're so hard for me." She groaned as she rubbed herself against me. What she didn't know what had gotten me all riled up was, thinking about that night with Clary, how her eyes were so hooded, her lips parted as her breathing sped up, her elegant neck arched when my fingers thrusted inside of her.

"Oh God." I said, panting at the memory. The girl stood up and zipped her jeans down, slid them off and sat back on my lap, grinding herself against me again. "I want you to fuck me!" She moaned loudly. The first time I wanted to have sex I wanted to make love to a girl, not fuck her. Fuck I sound like a girl again! Oh well, I'll just fuck this girl then. I quickly turned us both over and got off her, I slid my jeans off and my boxers and slid back into place. She still had her panties on.

"Oh wow, you're so big." She said, staring at my dick hungrily. I had gotten to this stage with other girls before, that had gotten me off but I had never gone this far. Damn, it's going to happen. Deep breathes Jace, it's just sex, guys do this all the time, it shouldn't be so difficult, but I had parents who taught me to treat a girl well, even harmless flirting or getting to 'bases' was my maximum, never hurt a girl by not sticking around after sex, that's what I was taught, I had Isabelle who I was over protective of and who I wouldn't want to get treated like this. I was protective of Clary being treated like this, even Anna, if she was still around and this age, but then again this girl wouldn't get hurt if I left after sex, because all she wanted from me was sex, she didn't even know who I was. So she wouldn't be hurt right?

I hooked my fingers in her panties and slowly pulled down. An image of Clary popped up in my head, a frown on her face, like she was disappointed in me, her long beautiful hair falling in waves across her chest. 'Don't do this Jace' imaginary Clary told me.

I'm sorry Clary.

I just need to forget you, even if it's only for tonight.

…

…

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**Hai people. Anna makes her second appearance. Who is this Anna and why is she so important to Jace? You'll find out in a while! What to know what happens next? REVIEW! My last chapter only got like 10 reviews :'( favourite and follow. Do your thing. I love you all. Thanks for sticking by me and being patient. Cookies for all of you. AND IMPORTANT NOTICE HERE! You know how Jace speaks about Isabelle and Jonathan's past and how everything leads up to the dead of Jonathan, I was thinking that as soon as I have finished Troubled Kid, I would do a prequel story of Jonathan and Isabelle and everything that happened up to the night of prom, basically freshman year. Please tell me if it is something you would read because when I have writers block I could start planning it, outlining it and even writing up some chapters! It might just even be a long one shot explaining it all from Isabelle's POV or whatever but just let me know xxx**


	11. Bring Me Down

**I know you've been waiting for this ;) I've got a flashback into the past in this one. Thank you for your reviews and follows and favourites! AND ESPECIALLY FOR YOUR PATIENCE! More please ;D and guys you know that Chemistry exam I told you about I had to do so I would be gone for a few weeks revising? I got an A* FOR IT I SO HAPPY ;D my parents are so proud lol :$**

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**I'm so excited about this chapter, it took a long time to come since I was really busy and lacking creativity but I love it and I hope you all love it too! It's sad and cute and makes me think of my childhood, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

**I DON'T OWN ANYTHING NOT THE SONGS OR CHARACTERS OR ANYTHING REMOTELY SIMILAR THE IDEA IS JUST MINE.**

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**Chapter Songs: **

**Linkin Park – One Step Closer**

**Green Day – Wake Me up When September Ends**

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**Jace**

…

**bring me down.**

**...**

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…

…

"Oh God, I can't wait for you to be inside me." The random girl moaned.

She was under me naked, rubbing herself against me, sucking my collar bone. She looked gorgeous naked, but I couldn't help but still think of Clary. I wanted Clary so bad, to make her come, like I did before, to enjoy her stunning nakedness for my own, but not just that, I want to be the guy that makes her smile when she's crying, to make her laugh till her stomach hurts, to be the guy that makes her randomly smile when she thinks of him, God I just wanted everything with her. I didn't want this girl under me; no matter what, I would always want Clary and only Clary. Even though Clary and I wouldn't work out, I would just have to wait till I fall in love with someone else to give this to someone. I can't have my first time to be with this girl whose name I don't even know. I quickly jumped off of her and pulled up my jeans, which were wrapped around my ankles, up.

"Hey what are you doing?" She asked breathlessly.

"I'm sorry, I can't be here." I told her, searching for my shirt.

"What, why? Come on!" She whined.

"Sorry, I've got to go." I said, putting my shirt on and leaving the room with her still naked on the bed.

I walked out the club, gripping my hair and tugging on it harshly. Dammit I couldn't even do this! God I was such a pussy! Damn you Clary for getting in my head. All I had to do was get fucking laid and couldn't even bring myself to do it. My head was spinning with all this grief and anger I was keeping inside me and I felt like I could explode any second. Nothing was working out for me, I felt like I would never get what I want, and isn't that what I deserve? I guess it is. The rest of my life was going to be karma for taking Jonathan away from this world. Oh Jonathan, if he was here, he could have advised me how to deal with Clary, how to deal with all this pent up grief, anger and issues, but then again, if he _was _here I wouldn't have pent up grief, anger and issues, I wouldn't have Clary not wanting to be with me because of my disastrous reputation, all of my issues arrived that night. Every time I thought about it, it made the blood rush in my ear and my chest would tighten and cause a panging sensation. I wish I could just go back to when we were just kids.

…

"_Ja__ce! Jace! I found it, I found it!" A young gleeful Jonathan yelled across the hill. "Come on! Hurry up!"_

"_What were?! Where did you find it?" I yelled at him, excited at the fact he had found our imaginary kingdom, hidden beyond the trees and roses bushes of the enchanted forest in our backyard. Okay it wasn't exactly enchanted but it was beyond huge. Jonathan and I had always thought it was enchanted. _

"_It was behind the rose bush, but there are so many thorns! I need your help bro! We need to get passed this stage to move on!" He yelled at me. _

_We were both eight years old, we were very imaginative for eight year olds, and we loved to play imaginary kingdom games, pirate games and fight and war games. We loved it, we hated staying inside, watching TV or playing video games. We were super active, we loved playing sports, we were really competitive and almost beat the crap out of each other when we lost to one another, but we loved each other regardless, I couldn't ask for a better friend. He was my best friend and my brother. Isabelle hanged up with us sometimes but I didn't like the red cheeks she would get when Jonathan was around so I sent her off to go with her other friends. Alec was always with his older friends that we were too cool for and Max was addicted to his comic books and anime shows. Jonathan and I spent every day outside of school together messing about and being annoying little boys. People said we were like twins, but we didn't exactly look alike but we had some similar features. I had dark blonde hair and he had white bleach blonde hair. We both were cocky and arrogant even at the age of eight. _

"_Jace come on! Even my grandma is faster than you!" Jonathan said, laughing._

"_Alright! Alright! Keep your panties on!" I yelled back at him._

"_Eew panties." Jonathan said, scrunching up his nose, then laughing again, making a shivering motion. _

_I climbed up the side of the hill and catched up with Jonathan. The rose bush was humungous, it had so many thorns and weird looking stems poking out. _

"_Okay, here's the plan Johnny boy, I say we pull our socks up and just ran straight through the rose bush and be men! No pain no gain" I said headstrongly. _

"_Run straight through?!" Jonathan asked, eyes as big as saucers. _

"_Yes, or are you too much of a girl too? Scared of running through roses will make you even more of a girl?" I said teasingly._

"_No, Jacey wacey, come on then!" He said teasingly. He knew I hated it when he called me that. _

"_Stupid Johnny boy." I muttered behind him. _

"_okay, one quick run through the rose bush and we'll be through to the other side of the enchanted forest. C'mon!" Jonathan yelled! _

_We both stood in front of the bush and braced ourselves for the pain we knew was bound to come._

"_One…two…WAIT!" Jonathan said pushing his hand out to stop us from running._

"_What happened?" I asked him._

"_Erm, I'm slightly scared of doing this." Jonathan admitted, cheeks blushing. He was the one with a low pain tolerance, whereas I had a high one._

"_You want to hold on to my hand?" I asked him._

"_If you wouldn't mind." Jonathan said._

"_Okay, hold on you girl." I said laughing._

"_Whatever." Jonathan mumbled. _

_I was only kidding though, Jonathan knew that. I was older than him by three months and I protected him with everything I had, even though we were only eight years old and there wasn't much to protect him, I still wanted to and I still did. When he needed help or was scared I was there for him and I always would be. He was a strong boy but slightly weaker than me, he had his bad moments, and I knew he needed me, as much as we didn't want to admit it._

_He stood closer to me and grabbed my hand._

"_You ready?" I asked him. _

"_Yes." He replied shakily._

"_Okay, here we go! One…two…three…GO!" I howled._

_He squeezed my hand and I ran forward, dragging him along with me, we ran straight through the rose bush muttering childish profanities as the thorns stung our legs from every angle but I kept my hold on Jonathan tight and before we knew it we were on the other side of the bush, and the enchanted forest was in front of us and the looming tree, where the castle was set above high in the branches, was right in front of us. It was magnificent. This was our kingdom. We were kings. Nobody could stop us or judge us on control us here. We were invincible in our world. _

"_See, that wasn't too bad was it?" I asked Jonathan smirking, trying to resist the urge to scratch at my legs._

"_Yes I guess so." Jonathan said giving me a small smile. "Thanks bro." he said squeezing my shoulder._

"_No problem." I grinned at him._

"_We are here, in our kingdom, what do you suggest we do?" he asked me._

"_I say we claim our place as kings my brother!" I roared into the empty miles of grass, trees and creatures lurking around. "Let's climb the ladder to our kingdom!" _

_We both ran to the bottom of the tree and started climbing up the tree. The branches at the top of the tree were twisted in a cross spiral, a way that made it able to actually lie down on the tree and relax. We both grabbed a branch and climbed up till we reached the top and sprawled over the branches and we lay down. _

_We both looked at each other and burst out laughing in excitement and exhilaration. _

"_WE ARE THE KINGS!" we both screamed to the sky at the same time and collapsed in a heap of laughter once again. _

_We talked for a bit about how we would create our enchanted forest and what we do with it but then as we ran out of stuff to say we lay in silence and relaxed. The sky was dark, shining brightly with stars, in the forest there were no unnatural lights so nothing could distort the view from the sky that you could only find in the countryside. Our parents wouldn't worry about us since they knew we knew the way back, the back garden connected to this forest and everybody's garden had access to the forest, so you couldn't get to it unless you lived in this code so our neighbours were the only one that had access and we trusted them. I loved my life. It was perfect. Being eight was amazing, if I could pick an age to be forever it would be eight, but I couldn't wait till I was older so that I could be cool and strong and get a pretty girlfriend. I loved my friends and my family, everything was person, I wanted nothing to change. Life was awesome. I sighed in happiness and relief. _

"_This was so much fun." Jonathan said quietly after a while._

"_I know right. I love this." I told him._

"_I love you bro." Jonathan said after a while._

"_I love you too bro." I said, smiling to myself._

_Life was good. _

_Jonathan was going to be my best friend forever. _

…

That was one of the best nights and memories of my life. It was something I would cherish forever. Jonathan and I were such good friends, I wish we hadn't let anything get between, I tried so hard to not think about any of these memories because it hurt me so much and filled me with regret, the kind of regret that made me want to drink myself dead or get high to the point where I couldn't recognise my own face in the mirror or even know what my name was. I tried to ignore the pang in my chest as I walked ahead.

It was raining badly. It slammed against my skin painfully. I pulled out my car keys and walked towards my car, which was parked in the car park a few blocks down, but noticed a group of shadows following me from behind. They started walking faster so, so did I. Suddenly the group behind me started running towards me, but they didn't know me so I doubted they were coming towards me, they must have just been going off somewhere, but then one of them spoke up, and I recognised that voice. Sebastian Verlac.

"Yo, Herondale! Turn your ass around!" He yelled at me.

Shit, I had a bad feeling about this.

How much worse could my night get?

All I wanted was to go home and get into bed and forget about today.

I turned around to see Sebastian and a group of boys behind him, they had their hoods up on their jackets and I couldn't see their faces. Under the florescent light coming from the lamppost, the pavements were slippery and shiny with the rain.

"What do you want?" I said warily.

"Oh something." Sebastian said with a shit eating grin on his. Obviously he wanted something, but I didn't plan on sticking around to find out. I walked away from them but one of them had tugged on the back of my jacket pulling me back in.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?" Sebastian growled it me, while one of his boys knocked me down to the ground, holding me down with his hands pressing down on my shoulders. Crap.

"So let's see, first you stroll into school with MY girlfriend and then try to beat me down. Are you for real?! Herondale you better start praying, we're going to fucking kill you now, I can sense there won't be a spot for a murderer in Heaven." He snarled at me. He says he's going to kill me then calls me a murderer, oh the irony.

"Fuck you. She's your ex-girlfriend by the way." I told him, spitting at his face. He wiped the spit and smirked.

"Oh you're going to regret that." He told me, eerily calm.

And then that eerie calm disappeared as his right hook came out and knocked the breath out of me as it slammed into my right cheek. Ouch that hurt. Blood from my nose trickled down my lip; I could taste the tangy iron flavour of the blood mixing with the rain water falling in my mouth.

I heard something clank behind me but couldn't look because the guy behind me still had a pretty tight lock on me. I could hear the other guys stepping closer to surround me as their feet made slapping sounds against the pounding rain.

"So guys, what do you think we should do with him?" Sebastian said smugly.

Dammit was this guy made out of steel? I couldn't even move my shoulders.

"I think we should beat the shit into him, strip him naked and tie him to the statue of that stupid angel in the high school courtyard." One of them said, the rest laughed.

"Hmm, that's a good idea. He'll be tied there naked, while it pours down all night, hopefully he'll catch an illness and die." He said laughing his arse off. I just stayed there quietly, too tired to care about what was actually going to happen to me. I deserved this I guess. They could beat the shit out of me and I don't think I would _really _feel it.

Suddenly my arms were yanked up and I was pulled up from my knees, then I felt rope being tied up around my arms, I didn't bother fighting them on it.

"You're not going to fight us on this?" Sebastian asked, raising his eyebrow.

I shrugged at him in response.

I just stopped caring.

The guy behind me tugged on the ropes to check if they were tighten enough, and then as soon as he did that I lost my sight as they covered my eyes with a black cloth. They kept walking dragging me along with them, purposely letting me bang into poles. It was very late so I doubted anybody was around to witness what they were going to do with me. Nobody would worry about where I was because they knew I went out and didn't bother answering my phone. They wouldn't realise I was in danger because I'm always out like this. These guys were going to hurt me so bad and nobody would help.

Suddenly they stopped and pushed me; losing balance I fell to the ground and banged my head against the grass. I assumed we were on the high school courtyard.

"Okay guys." Sebastian said. I could hear the guys cracking their knuckles. Damn this was going to hurt. "Everybody DIG IN!" He yelled.

They all came rushing at me; it was like being crushed by a car. My body was rushing with adrenalin that screamed and gnawed at me to fight back but I was too tired and didn't have enough heart to care. The force of their hits was excruciatingly painful. Each fresh strike echoed in the silence excluding the grunting from the guys beating the crap out of me. I could feel my heart beating in my ears, beating so fast like a fist against a punching bag. Every one of my cells could feel the ache and burn. They were beating the crap out of me.

They kicked my ribs, punched my body, there was not an inch of me they had left. My vision behind the black cloth was clouded and tunnelled. I could feel the blood trickling down my forearm and achy sweat dripped down my skin. With my eyes covered my senses were heightened and each punch felt like twice as much the pain it should have been, the rain was ten times louder. Their loosened the ropes, realising I wasn't going to fight back or do anything. I hadn't even made a noise so far; I had only cringed and squeezed my eyes closed.

The punches on my face and the rain pouring down caused the cloth to slide off my face, but they didn't stop, they just kept punching me. They stopped finally, to catch their breath and I realised they were either going to carry on beating the crap out of me or tie me up to that statue, and as dead I was feeling, my pride demanded I ran now while these guys catched their breath, because even though I was all battered up, they must have ran out of energy.

My legs and arms felt sore, my stomach was tense and achy. My right eye felt like my eye socket was going to fall out. My head was pounding and my ribs were definitely either broken or bruised. My lip was busted and my cheek was swollen. All I wanted to do was get home and collapse on my bed and _die_. I just wanted to get away from this agonizing pain. I suffered enough pain for one day. I noticed they were all standing there stretched their arms out or catching their breaths, so I ran for it.

I ran and ran and never looked back even as the pain in my ribs made me want to collapse and my vision was blurry, somehow my keys were still in my pocket and I ran into the car park. I could hear faint voices of the guys catching up but I kept running, I pressed the button to my key and the car beeped open. I climbed awkwardly into the car and started it up, I drove fast, and I could see figures running behind my car, but I pressed on the gas and drove faster. The figures disappearing from my sight.

I drove up around the corner to where we lived. We hadn't moved since I was born, living in the huge house that had such a warm homey comfort feeling to it that hadn't been around for the past two years, but the feeling was starting to come back.

I checked the clock in my car and it said 02:23 am, I parked the car into the drive and got out. Wow they had almost beat me up for a straight hour. No wonder they were so worn out, it felt like it had gone on for days. I expected everybody to be asleep so I quietly turned the key in the door, which hurt since my arm ached like hell and I still felt like jelly all over, I was about to collapse any second if I couldn't turn this key. It finally latched on into the hole and opened up. I limped into the house and closed the door behind me, all the hallway lights were off but the edges of the door to the living room were glowing, and I could hear the sound of the TV so I knew somebody was awake. Since it was so late, I was guessing it was Isabelle.

"I'm going to refill the popcorn, I'll be right back!" A familiar voice yelled, her voice blurred through the sound of the TV and the blockage of the door.

The door opened and a silhouette appeared before me for a brief second, of a short girl with a curvy figure, with soft curls, I knew it wasn't my sister since she was tall and had pin straight hair. That brief second went past and the girl slid her hand to the side of the wall, looking for a light switch, and when she found it, the lights made my eyes squint in annoyance, and when I opened my eyes a second later I saw Clary in the doorway in her pyjamas, holding her empty popcorn bowl, but when she looked up and caught sight of me she gasped loudly, her eyes widened, she dropped the bowl and took a step back. A hand went flying to her mouth in shock. I must have looked really _really_ bad to get that reaction out of her.

"Oh my God, what in the world happened to you?!" She shrieked at me, this morning and afternoon had obviously been forgotten as soon as she saw my face.

She took big steps forward until she was right in front of me inspecting my face.

"Isabelle! Isabelle, get out here!" Clary screeched in a shaky manor, luckily my parents slept on the third floor of the house and were heavy sleepers.

"What's going on? The best scenes coming up!" Isabelle yelled back at her, but stepped out of the living room and looked straight at us. Her face widened in shock and she gasped loudly, lifting her hand to cover her mouth in shock, giving me the same reaction as Clary did.

"What happened you you?!" Isabelle screamed on the verge of tears. "Who did this to you?!" She demanded as she stepped closer to have her own inspection.

"Hey, let's just all go in the living room and talk about this calmly, we don't want to wake everybody up and worry them." I told them tiredly.

"Okay." They both muttered in agreement, both looking equally worried.

The three of us walked into the living room, ignoring the abandoned empty bowl on the floor. Mean Girls was playing on the flat screen, Isabelle walked over to the room to decrease the volume on the TV. I sat on the couch and held on to my ribs which bruised like hell now, my eye was still twitching, my cheek still throbbed and my arms and legs were aching. Both girls took a seat beside me and I lay back so I could see them both and relax.

"What happened?" Isabelle asked, her eyes the softest I had ever seen them. Clary looked over at me to, both calmly waiting, I didn't know what to tell them. Should I tell them anything?

"No bullshit." Clary said quietly. "Please Jace, what in the world happened to you? You look so bad."

Well she answered what I was thinking for me, no bullshit.

I took a deep breath and said the only word I would have to say for them to understand what happened.

"Sebastian." I whispered softly.

Both girls inhaled sharply and both began to loudly curse his name so badly even I felt like covering my ears, I could help but chuckle, which made my cheek ache, causing me to groan out.

"Easy Jace. We're going to kill him, but first, let's get your cuts and bruises cleaned up before you get any nasty infections. I'll go get the first aid kit." Isabelle said leaving the room and went upstairs to get the first aid kit.

It was just Clary and me alone now. I glanced over at her and her eyes were all over my body, looking at every cut and were my t-shirt was ripped from, the way the blood leaked all over my skin and had dried up and crusted. She raised her eyes to my face. She looked torn apart. When she finally looked me in the eyes, her own started to tear up and she launched at me in a bear hug, holding me tightly and snuggling her face into my neck. It hurt slightly, but it was worth it. The warmth radiating from her heated me up in ways I couldn't imagine. I wrapped my arm around her as best as I could.

"I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to hurt you I-I just, I can't…When I saw you standing there, oh God you looked so awful, if-if anything happened to you I-I don't know wh-what I would do I just-" She said tears leaking down her face. "Why did he have to do this to you?" She wiped her tears on her sleeve and I still held on to her.

"Hey it's ok, I can handle some pain, I'll be fine, bruises heal, I just hate how I'll have to explain this to mum and dad. All I want to do is go to bed and forget today ever happened." I told her, sighing pitifully and slowly letting go of her, holding my arms to my body, but I kept myself leaning in towards her.

"As soon as Isabelle gets back with the first aid kit, damn, you've worried us so much, why were you out so late in the first place?" she asked me.

"I needed some fresh air, to think." I told her.

"Don't go out late, ever again." She said angrily, slitting her eyes at me.

"Okay mom" I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

"Why are you here so late?" I asked her.

"Isabelle wanted me to sleepover, a lot of stuff happened in the past few days and we never really had time to talk about it all, we couldn't sleep so we put Mean Girls on, I thought you may have been upstairs sleeping or something." She told me, giving me a meek smile.

"Okay, I'm back, let's get you cleaned up!" Isabelle said, coming into the room with the first aid kit, still looking crazy worried.

"Isabelle I think this is going to be slightly awkward since I have cuts all over my body. I think I should just clean myself up myself to save us from the awkwardness." I said grunting.

"Are you sure?" Isabelle asked.

"Yeah don't worry, I think I'll just get cleaned up, have a shower and get into bed.

"You look so bad Jace, I can't believe they did that to you!" Isabelle cried, as she literally started crying.

I slowly wrapped my arm around her and pulled her into a tight hug.

"Hey! Hey! Don't cry, I've been hurt before I can handle some cuts and bruises, I'm a big boy." I said giving her a reassuring smile.

"Still, look at the sight of you! They could have killed you!" She screamed.

"Not like I don't deserve it." I said softly.

"Hey!" Both Clary and Isabelle yelled at me.

"Don't say that!" "Don't be so stupid!" They both yelled at me.

"Ah forget it, I'll be okay alright, I'm going to head up to bed and sort myself out." I told them.

"Yeah I think we should do the same, we've got school tomorrow." Clary told Isabelle and Isabelle agreed. We all headed up to the second floor were our rooms were.

An hour later, I had put my destroyed clothes in the bin, cleaned up all my cuts and had a shower. All the crusted blood was gone now, my eye had calmed slightly and my cheek was pink and slightly swollen. My arms and legs still ached, I would still need to get checked out for any broken bones or ribs. I was pretty much clean now, but still looked roughed up. My lip was still swollen, thank God I hadn't work my lip ring tonight otherwise they would have probably ripped it out which would have led to ripped lips. I looked at my naked self in the mirror and I had bruises all over my chest, legs and arms, pretty much everywhere. I put on a pair of shorts, pulled the covers out and got into bed. God that felt _so_ good.

Ten seconds later there was a knock on the door and it opened up. Clary stood there, in a long t-shirt and was twiddling her thumbs. God was really testing my patience tonight.

"Can I come in?" She asked nervously.

"Yeah come in." I told her, sitting up, pulling the covers slightly so she could sit on the bed.

Shouldn't you be in bed? You've got school tomorrow, what's up?" I asked her.

"I couldn't sleep, I just kept seeing how hurt you are and I just, I care about you Jace, you are my friend, you've been there for me in my darkest time and even after I thoroughly embarrassed myself you've ignored what happened this morning and last night and treated me well. Are you really ok?" She asked me. Wow, she said she cared.

"I'm feeling pretty battered up and bruised, but other than that I'm okay. I'm a tough boy like I told you." He said, giving me a half smile.

"How about I give you a massage?" Clary asked me nervously.

My eyebrows rose through the roof.

"You serious?" I asked her.

"Yes, where would you like one?" she asked.

I could tell she was still nervous over what happened in the past two days and felt a little uncomfortable but totally ignored that it didn't happen tonight.

"How about my right arm? It kills." I told her, playing it safe, I really wanted a chest massage but that would have been too much sexual testing for me.

"Okay." She said nodding her head.

"Get into the bed, its freezing and you can lie down while you do it." I told her.

"Okay." She said gulping.

She climbed into the bed and lied down next to me, and pulled the covers over us. She softly grabbed the muscle of my arm and started rubbing it, I let out a sigh of relief, damn that felt so good. She rubbed and massaged up and down my arm, so soft and soothingly, yet hitting the muscles and relieving the tension at the same time.

"Is this okay?" She whispered to me.

"This is better than okay, oh God your hands are magical." I whimpered to her, she giggled.

"That's good." She said softly.

She continued to massage me until I slowly felt myself drifting off, and cuddled right up to her.

Today may have been a really awful disastrous day, but little things like this made it kind of okay. It's funny how with everything that happened today, I woke up and went to sleep the same way, with Clary right beside me.

I would deal with everything else tomorrow, all I wanted to do now was sleep peacefully with my red hair beauty snuggled right up to me.

…

…

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**ERMERGERD ITS 3 AM and I should be asleep I have to wake up for 7 AM but I had to had to write because I felt so bad and a bit of inspiration stroke me and I couldn't stop writing. I hope you enjoyed this.**

**PLEASE REVIEW, FOLLOW, AND FAVOURITE! LOVE YOU ALL! 3 **


	12. Pains, Aches and Goodbyes

**Thank you for the reviews, favourites and follows :) it means a lot to me! Can this chapter get a lot of reviews too? It would make me so happy :') **

**I know, not much action, but sometimes character development and small details you gain in a chapter is needed.**

**Something you've been waiting for finally happens 8) **

**This is a bitter sweet chapter ;)**

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**I DON'T OWN ANYTHING NOT THE SONGS OR CHARACTERS OR ANYTHING REMOTELY SIMILAR THE IDEA IS JUST MINE.**

**Chapter Songs: **

**Snow Patrol – Chasing Cars**

**Parachute – Kiss Me Slowly **

**Lana Del Rey – Summertime Sadness**

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**Clary**

…

**pains, aches and goodbyes.**

**...**

* * *

…

…

Jace's body was so warm and comfy. His bare legs were tangled in my own bare legs and he was snuggled right up to me. His head was resting on my clavicle, breathing softly against my cleavage, which made it difficult for me to breathe, let alone sleep. His arms were loosely wrapped around my waist and met at my lower back. The sun was slowly rising, I had gotten no sleep and I had school in less than 3 hours. Great.

I studied his face, his eyelashes, long and thick, fanned out against his smooth cheek, his eyes rolled behind his eyelids, lost in his dreams. He looked young and innocent, like nothing had ever hurt him, like he'd never been booed of a stage while apologizing for his mistakes, like he'd never been tortured daily for a year of his life, like he hadn't lost everything, but unfortunately that all did happen, the only way he could get away from it was to sleep, to drift into an alternate reality. He looked vulnerable and as sick as it might make me sound, I liked it. I liked being able to see him without the tenseness he carried on his shoulders all day every day. I liked being able to see behind his barriers. His face was smooth and his jaw, strong and loose, where normally it would be in a tight clench, anger being the electric current that ran through him at all times. The only thing that reminded me of the dark edge of his life right now was the scar on his right eyebrow that curved round to his cheek. People thought that it marred his beautiful face, but that tiny flaw made him all the more gorgeous to me, I didn't care for it. The scar was very light now, barely visible in the tiny sunlight that peaked through the dark rich velvet curtains he had in his room, they were red.

This was the first time I had ever been in his room, and it was surprisingly clean considering most boys are disgusting, Sebastian's room was a pigsty compared to Jace's room. His bed was king sized, filled with stuffed soft pillows. It was a white bed, with white blankets, with iron bars, and leather sides, but the pillows were all different colours, oranges, reds, purples, blues, they were the only source of colour in the room. Even the walls were white. It was a stark contrast. There was nothing in this room, no trophies, no pictures, except for a photograph I had noticed a couple of hours ago, a picture of Jonathan and Jace as children, sitting in a tree, wearing red cloaks with purple and gold crowns on their heads, grinning at the camera. It had made my chest tighten up. That was all he had in his room, from what I could see, I obviously wasn't planning on going through his drawers, but they were fairly small too, and his wardrobe was reasonably large though for a boy. They were white too.

When I had saw him standing there in the hallway all bruised up my chest tightened up and my heart slammed against my chest. I couldn't believe my eyes, I felt sick, I felt like I was the one that had been battered down instead of Jace, but my pain could have not compared to what he probably felt. I have such strong feelings for him and seeing him like that, I don't even know how to word it, all I wanted to do was hold him in my arms and tell him everything was going to be okay, to touch every inch of his damaged and bruised skin and make the pain disappear. I wish I could take away his pain, I would be willing to take the pain and suffer for him, and I just didn't want to see him in pain. After practically falling apart in his arms and crying when I was left alone with him, he must have thought what the actual fuck, especially after I had told him I pretty much regretted that night with him, and now, sleeping with him in his bed, what messages was I sending him now? I shouldn't be doing this, but I want to, but there would be so many consequences and issues. What is this that I _**want **_though? Is it a relationship? Is it a friendship?

I have no idea how I feel, all I know that if I was to act on my feelings it would cause the both of us so many problems, like yesterday, that asshole Anderson threw paint on me, it was brought along with a warning, what else could he do? What else would everyone else do? This wasn't fair. I'm trapped between a rock and a hard place. Be tortured by school or hide my feelings and forever be hurt and full of regret for not acting upon how I felt, which I still didn't know for sure, how did I feel? This sucks. When Jace had said he was fine and gone to his room, Isabelle and I had switched off the movie and gone to her room, we were both worried and a bit shook up so Isabelle had dozed off straight away, whereas I had lay there next to Isabelle, wide awake and aware. I couldn't sleep; I couldn't think straight, I couldn't stop thinking as to why Sebastian was doing this, and why everything couldn't be ok again. All I wanted to do was go to Jace's room and comfort him, hold him and help him in any way possible so after an hour of restless tossing and turning, I took a big chance of knocking on Jace's bedroom, I was so scared to knock on his door, I was actually standing there for a good ten minutes before I actually did it, I was scared he would be asleep though, but took the risk anyway.

It was worth it the way his eyes roamed over my body, which raised my body temperature along with his stare. It was then I had realised I was only wearing a long t-shirt with shorts underneath, which were covered anyways because they were short and the top was long. He had said he was bruising and aching, and it hurt that he was in this situation because of me. Yes, me. If it wasn't for me, Jace would not have gone after Sebastian that day in school, and Sebastian would not be pissed to the max, so yes it was my fault and I felt so bad that he was so battered, that I wanted to help him anyway, so I asked him if he wanted a massage, and he had said yes, which I'm glad he did, otherwise it would have been very awkward, and I'm still glad he never brought up last night, which was still an issue open for discussion since we never really talked about it, I had just avoided the subject all together. He was actually really surprised when I had asked him for a massage, which I found quite cute. When he had told me to get into the bed with him, my heart almost galloped out of my mouth, my mouth had gone dry and I felt a flash of heat across my body but ignored the sensation and had lain down next to him.

He had asked for an arm massage and I was going to give him the best one he had ever had. I had softly grabbed the muscle of his arm and started rubbing into it, soothingly massaging him, he let out tiny noises of relief that made me let out a sudden wetness _**there**_. Oh God help me. When he called my hands magical I couldn't help but giggle at his relief. It made me giddy in happiness that I was getting rid of some of his pain, but I wanted to get rid of his pain _**everywhere**_, but he had only asked for his arm, unfortunately for me, and maybe for him too. I continued to massage him until he slowly fell asleep, and cuddled right up to me, holding me like a true lover. His arm had sagged slowly to his side and I had let it drop, but still massaging the top part near his shoulder. I myself cuddled up beside him too, pressing a hand against his naked chest, which was covered in purple bruising too, and his legs twisted themselves in mine but I tried not to put too much pressure on his legs, so I let him rest his legs on mine instead of mine on his so I didn't cause him more pain. I relaxed in his bed, realising that I was actually in Jace Herondale's bed,_** oh my God.**_ I wonder how many other girls had been here before me, probably loads before the incident. This was the first time being in Jace's room and bed, and I couldn't actually believe it, right now I couldn't fathom what was actually going on.

If you told me a few months ago I would be sleeping in Jace's bed while being wrapped around him I would have laughed in your face, but this was actually happening. I loved it, I knew I couldn't and I knew I shouldn't but I wanted to so badly. it was weird that I only knew Jace for a while yet I had never felt more comfortable in his arms those two nights, but I guess it's not too weird, I've only personally known Jace for a month, but I have actually known of him since we were kids, I remember when I would see Jonathan and him ruling the playgrounds as the tiny kings they pretended they were. I didn't want morning to come, I had to get up in two hours, at least before Isabelle woke up, I would hate to have to explain to her why I was sleeping in her brother's bed, since I didn't really know how their relationship was going, I knew they were talking again but I also knew it would take a long time before they were back to the way they were before, if that would ever happen again ad I didn't want to risk their relationship because of my selfish needs by causing a problem between the two of them by being here. I'm so glad that Isabelle had actually called me over for a sleep over, I had missed her and I really needed to speak to my best friend again, also if she hadn't invited me, I probably would not have known about what happened to Jace tonight till long after she told me, and I was really grateful to be here right now with Jace. I hoped she hadn't woken up during the middle of the night, but I had been awake all night and heard nothing, and knowing Isabelle if she had seen I wasn't there she would have coming looking for me so I guess she hadn't woken up. I didn't want to leave Jace's bed, it was so warm, so comfy, everything felt so right, but I was trying so hard to keep the dam up on my feelings. I knew the consequences of what would happen if I was to act upon my feelings, so I had to be really careful as to what I did next in this situation. It felt right being embraced by Jace like this, I had been held by Sebastian like this before, when we were just hanging out, and it never felt this right, but then again, Sebastian was never the one for me, so I'm not surprised I didn't feel the absolute peace and comfort I felt being in Jace's arms. I could imagine spending the rest of eternity in Jace's arms if it meant feeling like this.

Jace groaned in his sleep and twisted slightly causing his leg to lift up in an angle, which meant I was sitting on his leg, which was just in the _**right **_place to cause the delicious pressure that made me bite my lip to stop from moaning softly. If I was to rub slowly against his naked leg, I could probably bring myself to an orgasm, without waking him, but I didn't have the guts to do that. His hands tightened around my waist, just above my butt, if he just went any lower… before I could think of another thought, his eyes flickered opened.

"What time is it?" Jace said croakily.

"5 am." I whispered.

"Damn. I'm so tired." He whispered back, curling his body towards me, his golden curls tickling my neck.

"How do you feel?" I asked, rubbing his back softly, up and down.

"Battered, urgh I just want to die." He groaned, making my chest constrict painfully.

"Don't say that." I murmured.

"Why not? It's not like anybody would miss me, they wouldn't care, yesterday proved it." He said into the dimly lit room, his whisper seeming so loud.

"Stop that, it's not true, your parents would care, Max would care, Isabelle would care." I told him, and he scoffed.

"Yeah of course my family would care, but nobody else would, I wouldn't expect them to though." He said sadly.

"People _**would **_care Jace, everybody would care, they might be angry over what happened but they still have hearts, they would still feel bad and guilty for what has gone past over the years." I told him, looking down.

I could feel him staring at me deeply. It was only for a few seconds but it felt like forever, especially with the heat that had risen to my cheeks. He took hold of the hand that was resting on his chest, and intertwined his fingers with mine. I felt my heart beat hammering in my ears and butterflies exploded in my stomach. With his other hand he lifted a finger to my chin and raised it, forcing me to look into his squinting molten eyes, still sleepy looking.

"Fire wire, would you miss me? Would you miss me if I died?" He asked gently, rubbing his thumb softly over my knuckles.

I took a deep breath through my nose, surprised at his question and the nickname, and nodded my head.

"Yes Jace, yes I would." I told him truthfully. He let out a breath of what I think is relief.

We both lay there silently, while he played with my fingers, but after a few minutes he let go and looked up at me, causing my throat to swallow up in surprise, because all I saw in his eyes were _**desire**_.

"We need to talk Clary." He said roughly, letting go of my hand and pressing his own hand against my hip, and pulling me harshly against him, which made me suck in a whoosh of air. Our pubic bones were pressed _**right against each other. **_The friction caused from this was just _**lovely**_. My eyes fluttered closed from the pressure. _Every_ _**inch**_ of me was hyper-aware of him, the way his thigh pressed against mine, his rough breathing, and his chest rising and falling. It was _**delicious.**_ I didn't even think of how awkward this conversation was going to be, I could only think of the emotions I was experiencing right now.

"Yeah. What about?" I whispered blissfully.

"You said you didn't want stuff like this happening anymore, so why did you come into my room last night? Was it just to comfort me or did you want more? Do you want more?" He said, as he rolled his hips upwards, causing a pleasurable friction between the two of us. My breaths were coming out in heavy pants, and my eyes wouldn't open, they felt too heavy.

"Would you regret it again?" he whispered hotly against my ear, and I heard a quiet groan come out of his mouth from the back of his throat.

"I-I don't know." I whimpered against his chest, as our hips slowly grinded against each other unconsciously, but I knew he knew what I really meant, _**yes**_.

"We can't do this." He muttered in my ear.

"I know. I know." I whispered back and he stopped, staying still, but his breathing was uneven and shaky.

"I just wanted to comfort you Jace; I can't stand seeing you like this." I said, brushing the silky curly hair away from his eyes.

He looked at me with bitter regret. "After this, I'm going to stay away from you, and you need to do the same, this wouldn't work out, I don't want you to get hurt Clary. I'm sorry, but I can't be around you knowing how I feel, I think it's best to stay away from each other. You said so yourself."

"How do you feel?" I asked, surprised and upset over his proposition, but I understood, it's just the way things have to be.

"Speaking about it would make this harder than it already is." He said toneless.

"Oh ok." I looked down in disappointment, my heart aching in confusion.

"Clary." Jace said, using a finger to lift my chin up and look into his eyes. "Kiss me, for the first and last time." He commanded softly.

I nodded my head at him and scooted closer, looking up at his sharp athletic face that was now bathed in the glow of the sunrise. I felt a powerful outburst of affection and protection for him. I reached out and placed my hand on his smooth cheek. His eyes looked down at my hand. My heart was beating erratically. I slowly elevated myself on my elbow, so I could reach up to him and stare into his eyes hoping he couldn't see the desire to be consumed by him and lose myself in him completely. He stared back at me and lowered his head. His full lips parted, waiting for what we have both been longing for. His hand moved to my lower back to push me closer to him and I moved my own to wrap around his neck. I closed my eyes, parting my own lips. I felt his nose bump against mine, a few seconds passed before I finally felt his warm lips brush against my own. His lips were soft but demanding as he licked and bit my bottom lip. Then he pulled my top lip into his mouth and sucked gently. I groaned softly against his lips. Even though he had just woken up, he still tasted minty and rich, he had his own taste which I didn't realise I craved, until now. If I was standing up, my knees would have gone weak by now, my hands were shaking, and my heart was beating in my ear so hard I was confident he could hear it. He moaned softly against my lips. Seconds later I felt his wet tongue slide between my lips; I greeted it with my own tongue, feeling his harsh breath in my mouth. As we rubbed our tongues against each other, I felt his hands slide down my back to grip my thigh and hitch my leg up, so it wrapped around his waist, he twisted us around so I was lowered onto the bed behind me and Jace's body covered mine. His lips were warm and soft, smooth but swollen, where he had a bruise. His tongue caressed mine as I gently bit down on his lower lip. A broken down version of my name slipped through his lips and he groaned. Jace's body pressed against mine, and I tried not to put too much pressure on his body. We kissed passionately, holding each other in our warm embrace. A while later our kisses slowed down, becoming tender and loving, we were in a breathless daze. After what could have been hours he pulled away a little, biting down on my lip and suckling. He nipped at my bottom lip for a few seconds before fully pulling away. We stared at each other, eyes wide and lips swollen, our breathing laboured. I rested my forehead against his chest, I could hear and feel the beat of his heart, an indication that the kiss had affected him the same way it affected me. He stroked my hair soothingly, planting a loving kiss on my forehead and then lowering his head, nuzzling his nose against my own.

"Damn, that was some first kiss." Jace chuckled breathlessly.

"Yeah it was." I shifted uncomfortably, not knowing what to do now.

"I'm definitely wide awake after that." Jace said rubbing his lips together.

"Umm yeah." I agreed.

"So this was nice…should you go back to Isabelle's room now before someone wakes up?" He said awkwardly and with detachment, I could understand why though, he was only doing what he said he would do.

I looked over at the clock to see it was ten to six. Damn we made out for at least 45 minutes; it was only supposed to be one kiss, wow, Sebastian's kisses were nothing compared to that, no passion or tenderness.

"Yeah I should. Go back to sleep Jace, get rested." I said softly, lifting the duvet and stepping out into the cold, already missing the warmth from Jace's body in his wonderful bed.

I closed the door softly behind me, and walked down the hallway, slowly opening Isabelle's bedroom door, it creaked slightly, but she was still asleep, snoring slightly. I tiptoed over to my side of the bed and snuggled into the blanket, trying to warm myself up. I closed my eyes and released a gush of air, glad that no one had noticed I was gone but oh boy was I wrong.

Isabelle's head tipped out of the duvet. "Hey shorty."

"Holy shit! Isabelle I could have just pissed myself in your bed! Don't sneak up on me like that." I hissed at her, my heart beat practically flat lining. Holy shit she was awake! Awake! How long could she have been awake for?! I hope it wasn't long, otherwise I was dead.

"Sorry, but you woke me up when the bed tilted as you got into it. Where did you go?" she croaked, stretching her arm out of the duvet.

"Just to the toilet." I whispered back at her and she snorted.

"Okay babes." She said, like she didn't believe me and winked at me.

"Let's go back to sleep. We've got to wake up in an hour and a half." She yawned in my face, making me laugh.

We both faced each other smiling, quickly drifting off.

…

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**...**

**...**

**Jace**

...

_**Our first kiss. **_

Damn, it was incredible.

_**Our last kiss.**_

Damn, it sucks.

After that kiss I definitely couldn't go back to sleep.

I was so happy to hold her all night, her warm body next to mine all night was the best part of my day, after being battered and almost sent to my death. I was grateful for all the little things. I wish it could have been under different circumstances, not having to be beaten down beforehand or having to sneak around so nobody would know. It was weird sneaking around a friendship, normally you would do that with a relationship, but even from now on we didn't have a relationship or a friendship, but it was for the best. I had gotten my ass kicked today, what would they have done to Clary? I couldn't risk letting people make her into a target, she didn't deserve that, she was amazing, funny and saw the best in everyone, including me. _**I fricken loved her, fuck.**_ That kiss was perfect, it was intense, passionate, loving and everything else a perfect kiss could be. I had been imagining what my first kiss with Clary would have been like since last year and now that it finally happened, it was much better than I had dreamed about.

She had cooperated; she hadn't pulled away in disgust. She had given me plenty of confirmation that she was enjoying herself, since she was unwilling to let go, and those little whiny sounds and sexy groans she was making the entire time. She definitely enjoyed herself. God she is beautiful. She looked beautiful under me. Her lips were so full and soft. Red and lush. They felt amazing; I could have kissed her for hours. I didn't want to stop. It took every ounce of me to pull away from her, but even then I couldn't help but nip at her skin gently as we pulled away from each other. This was going to hurt, I loved being around her, and even though it had only been for a short time, being near her was addictive; if I smoked, she would be the nicotine in my cigarette. Holding her in my arms was the best feeling ever I had never felt so at home before. Yes, I had to let her go, it was the only responsible thing to do, what good could come out of us two being friends or more. How could be even become _**more**_? How did we even get to _**here**_?! There were just too many consequences. She would be happier without me.

I wouldn't be one to stand by and watch somebody bully her, so yes even though we weren't friends anymore I was still going to beat the crap out of anyone who tried to hurt her even if it meant getting the crap beaten out of me too. I had been beaten down many times before; this wasn't the first and definitely wouldn't be the last. It will suck having to explain this to my parents, normally one or two bruises they would let slide past them, but it was obvious that I had bruises everywhere and they would get upset by it. I hated seeing their faces when they realised how badly people hurt me, and the fact that they couldn't do anything about it. It was worse with Max though, he looked up to me like a hero, and he hated seeing me bruised and broken, but I liked the idea of sending him the message that every time somebody gets you down you should always get back up and keep fighting. I need to go the hospital today, to get myself checked up for any broken bones, I'm quite glad I had this suspension now, it would suck having to go into school like this, unfortunately tomorrow was my last day of suspension, meaning I would have to go back to school on Friday, which sucked and there was no point to, since it was the last day of the week, but the head teacher had insisted on three days.

I would have to see Sebastian again and his friends. This was going to suck royal ass, especially since I had run away from them, they're probably searching for another moment they can capture me away and beat the crap out of me. Oh well, I won't let it be an ambush again, once I've healed, I'll be ready to fight them one on one without being held down, especially since when they came after me, I didn't bother to fight back or escape because I was upset over everything else, another reason I was so grateful to see Clary at my house and for her to spend the night with me, seemed like my karma was pretty good. Another thing I hated about Sebastian, he always had to bring his friends with him everywhere to help him fight his battles, he couldn't do it himself, I guess he knew I was much stronger than him and he would need the extra help. I knew I was really strong since I was the quarterback for the football team and even though I had been kicked out I still trained like crazy the way I would have if I was in the team to stay fit and healthy whereas I knew Sebastian didn't try so hard, since he was only a defender. Ever since Jonathan and I left the team, because of his death and me being kicked out, the team had a huge downfall in success. I couldn't blame them though; Jonathan and I were the best on the team and after Jonathan's death, everybody was too upset to bother to try to actually win. So I guess it was because of me that we lost two players.

I looked over at the clock at saw it was seven, I heard footsteps upstairs and realised my parents had woken up to go to work. Stephen and Celine Herondale were amazing parents. They didn't sentence me to another country when they found out what had happened with Jonathan. They helped me, and they tried so hard to help me and understand me. They also let it go, they weren't parents that held on to it and brought it up every chance they got to discuss it, only when someone else brought it up or I would get into some sort of trouble, they would have to remind me of the mistakes I had made before, and how I had to be careful. I heard footsteps coming down the stairs and they became louder and they walked up to my door and came to a stop at my room. The door gently opened and my dad's head popped through.

"Son, are you awake?" He asked.

I had turned on my side and pulled the covers up so he wouldn't be able to see my damaged state, I didn't want to tell them about it until after breakfast.

"Yeah…why?" I muttered.

"Ok, I just need to speak to you, mind turning over?" Dammit. He was going to see.

"Ok, but brace yourself, please." I cringed.

"Why? Oh dammit Jace, what happened?!" He said, worriedly as he sat on the edge of my bed staring at my bruised face and body.

"It's fine dad, I'm used to it, I was out last night and I got ambushed."

"Do you know who did it?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"No." I lied; I was planning on dealing with Sebastian myself. I hated lying to my parents but knowing them, they would go to the principal, and Sebastian would deny everything, and with no proof but just me…yeah you can see they wouldn't believe me.

"Dammit son, this is why we tell you not to go out so late. Be careful next time please son and don't be out late. How badly are you hurt?" He asked. He knew there wasn't anything we could do, this was expected.

"Pretty much bruised all over my body dad, and my ribs might be broken." I told him.

"God, son when you got in last night you should have woken us up! We would have taken you to the hospital right away." He said, annoyed.

"I know I just didn't want to be a nuisance." I said, guiltily. I already caused them enough trouble as it is.

"Well, today we'll get you to the hospital and get you checked out. After breakfast we'll take you." He said, patting my shoulder.

He stood up and opened the door, ready to leave, but then turned around.

"Oh yeah, I came in to tell you, your cousin William is coming from England to stay with us. He should be here on Friday." He told me, smiling.

"Will? No way. Yes, this is going to be good." I said smirking.

I can't believe Will is coming so randomly during the start of the school year, he's my fricken best friend.

God I fucking love Will Herondale.

…

…

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**OMG WILLIAM BBY. I just love him so much from The Infernal Devices Series I just had to include him in this. If you hadn't read the prequel to TMI, please read it. Don't worry, none of the TID spoilers will be included or hinted in my story. He will be in the next chapter! Ahh, I'm so excited I've got a lot of stuff for the next few chapters ;) So liake hai people. Review, favourite, follow. Do your thing. I love you all. Thanks for sticking by me and being patient. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It's like 5:30 am in the UK and I'm so tired but I stayed up to write this, if there are any grammatical or spelling mistakes I will fix them later on today when I wake up from my long over due sleep, pls forgive me xxxxx **


	13. To Stay Or Not To Stay?

**Thank you for the reviews, favourites and follows :) it means a lot to me! It makes me so happy :') **

**By the way, if you haven't read The Infernal Devices, Jem is another character in that book series that I have brought to the story, he won't be in it as much. **

**Do not worry about TID spoilers, I haven't finished the series myself, only the first book, and since my story is in a human world, there isn't much I could spoil. And I won't spoil what I already know :)**

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**I don't own anything not the characters or anything remotely similar, the idea is just mine. **

**Chapter Songs:**

**Demi Lovato - Give Your Heart a Break **

**Taylor Swift ft. Ed Sheeran – Everything Has Changed**

**Framing Hanley - Alone In This Bed**

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**Clary**

**...**

**to stay or not to stay?**

**...**

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…

…

Isabelle's alarm rang, followed by Isabelle's groaning. She stretched her arms out and whacked me in the face, _**greaaat**_ way to start my morning.

"Get up period head." Isabelle said, kicking my shin.

"That's not even funny you skinny twig and that's not even the right shade of my hair colour." I said, snorting at her crude description of my hair and kicking her back.

"You know you love me." She teased, elevating herself on her elbow, so she could look down at me.

"Why did we stay up to watch movies? I am sooo tired." I moaned, looking at the clock, it was seven thirty. I could hear loud noises outside, but mainly Max's hyper voice and pans and pots clanking. How could the kid be so alert so early?

"Because we couldn't sleep in the first place." Isabelle reached out and yanked the covers off of us causing a cold draft. "Anyways I'm glad we were awake, because we were there for Jace. I'm going to go see how he is before we get ready and leave for school. Come with me." She said, not even giving me the option of not going with her. She seemed to be keeping back something that she knew, like she wanted to tell me something but she wouldn't, strange. Knowing Isabelle for how long I did, I assumed she would crack at some point, but I couldn't be bothered to figure it out of her this early in the morning. I followed Isabelle out of the room. She knocked on Jace's bedroom door, and he opened it, so much for trying to stay away from each other.

"Come in." His said, his voice deep and stepped aside to let us in.

He was still shirtless, but he had fresh jeans on that framed his butt so _**damn **_nicely. I wish I could pinch his butt. Okaaay, Clary, let's not think like that. He sat down on the bed and looked up at us.

"How are you feeling?" Isabelle asked as she sat down beside Jace on the bed, looking at the photo of Jonathan and Jace on the drawer, while I awkwardly stood in front of them both.

"I feel a lot better after sleeping, I just slept _**sooo**_ well." Jace looked up, smirking at me.

I felt my cheeks heat up and my eyes widened. Oh my God I was not expecting that. What was he doing? I thought we were supposed to stay away from each other, yet he was indirectly flirting with me? Or maybe I'm just reading too much into it and he's just teasing? Isabelle hadn't seen him smirk at me, so I had to keep it cool so she didn't think something was up. Staring at his lips reminded me of last night and our steamy kiss. Damn he was such a good kisser. I want to kiss him again. I need to kiss him again. Dammit Clary no you don't, shut up. Staring at his arms reminded me of the way he had held me so gently last night. His arms were perfect. I had just realised Jace and I had slept in the same bed for three nights in a row, and I wasn't looking forward to spending another night alone in my bed.

"Well that's good. I need to get ready for school otherwise we're going to run late, so I'm going to take a shower and I'll be twenty minutes. I still need to talk to you Jace, so I'll be right back, Clary wait here." Isabelle said, leaving the room, closing the door behind her.

Once again I was stuck with Jace, alone. So much for staying away from each other!

"Sooooooo, Clary…" Jace trailed off.

"Jace…" I raised my eyebrows at him.

He smirked, looking deliciously evil while he did. He abruptly stood up and locked the door; he then yanked my hand so I fell on to the bed. He climbed up over me and I yelped and was about to ask him what he was doing but then he covered my mouth with his hand and made a ssh motion with his fingers against his lips. My heart was beating rapidly in my chest.

"Ssh, we don't want anyone to hear." He whispered in my ear and slowly removed his hand. "I'm just so tired."

"Tired of what?" I asked him nervously.

"A lot of stuff, but right now, I'm tired of hiding how I feel and not taking what I want." He said lazily, his gaze trailing up and down my body. I was still wearing that long t-shirt with small boxer shorts and nothing else.

"What are you going to do now?" I whispered, as he softly pressed his lips against my neck, his hand trailing up my thigh.

"I'm going to take what I want." He growled.

Holy shit.

…

…

* * *

**...**

**...**

**Jace**

...

After my dad had spoken to me, I went into my en-suite bathroom to shower and clean up. I wrapped a towel around my waist and saw that I had two missed calls on my phone from Will. I picked up the phone and rang him back, and waited for him to pick up.

"Hey Jaceykins, don't you know how to pick up a phone?" Will teased.

"I was in the shower." I said laughing.

"Hmm sure. Anyways you slut, I'll be flying in on Friday. Jem's a bit off this week, I wanted him to come with me but he's got too much school work to do. Psht, school work. Oh well maybe next time for Jem. What's the plan? Hit the clubs? How do you plan on entertaining me when I get there?" Will asked.

"Well, I'm going to be at school on the Friday you get here, so it depends when you fly in, we can come up with some things to do later on. Don't be so pissed off when you see my face." I told him, pulling my towel off and jumping into a pair of boxers and jeans.

"Seriously Jace, we both know out of the two of us, I'm the better looking. Why would I be pissed?" He said arrogantly in his fancy English accent. I could imagine him smirking his face off.

"Not because of that you conceited asshole and no, I'm still better looking that you. But I've gotten myself pretty bashed up; my body is all sorts of colours." I said, trying to make light of the subject.

"What do you mean?" Will said, his tone turning from playful to serious in a heartbeat. Will was like that, he would do anything to protect the people he loved. He would even risk his own life, even when he knew about the whole Jonathan thing, he understood, and he never changed towards me once.

"This is _**reaaally**_ embarrassing, but I fell down the stairs when I was trying to-"

"Cut it out Jace, I'm not an imbecile. What happened?" He said sharply.

"I got ambushed." Damn you will Herondale.

"Who did it?" he snarled. "And don't lie to me; I know you know who did it." Dammit, how did he know me so well?

"Sebastian." I admitted.

"That little arsehole that's dating Clary?" He was definitely angry now.

Will hated Sebastian as much as I did and Sebastian hated him too. Whenever Will came down, which was during all the holidays he could possibly get, Sebastian and him always got into it. Will had always disliked him, whereas I had started disliking him when he started dating Clary and he started picking on me after the Jonathan incident. Will and him had started their feud when Will had come over one summer when we were 12, and Sebastian refused to give us our football back. Will could be very tempered and moody and that day he was in the most awful mood, so when Sebastian pissed him off, Will was extremely close to punching him in the face but I had stopped him and Sebastian had kept the football. Ever since then, they both had pissed each other off whenever they were around each other. They couldn't stand each other. They just had that thing where you hate someone before you even know them because you don't like the look of them, or the impression they've left on you. Last summer Will didn't visit since I was in Canada with Alec and Magnus, so I hadn't seen him since the summer before that. He also knew how I felt about Clary and he couldn't understand why Clary was with Sebastian so that was another reason why Will disliked Sebastian. Will knew Clary; he had spoken to her a few times when she was around with Isabelle. A lot of the girls in the town always tried to hook up with Will when he was in town, he always said no though, I think he was in love with someone back in London, but he never said.

He tried to seem like he wasn't the loving type, but I had seen his affectionate side, especially when it came to family, even towards me so I knew he could be that type. I wasn't sure how people were going to act around him though, considering the last time Will came was before the Jonathan incident. When Will had come during the Christmas holidays, he was pissed Jonathan and I weren't talking anymore, he had tried to sort things out between us but it didn't work out, but that's an ugly story for another day. Us three were all best friends, when Jonathan had passed, Will was heartbroken too but he forgave me and gave me time. We didn't speak much that summer but Will was always there for me when I got back to a sane state of mind. Like they say, you can go forever without talking to your best friend but when you speak again it's like no time had passed. God I missed William. We were best friends since diaper days. So much had happened in the past few days that I had forgotten to call Will to tell him about the fact that Sebastian tried to force Clary and that they had broken up and how Clary and I had "connected" the past few days, damn Will was going to kill me for being so late. I was about to give Will three new reasons to hate Sebastian even more.

"Okay, I've been really busy lately so I haven't had time to tell you stuff, but a lot has changed since school started."

"Inform me of what I am missing out on." Will demanded.

I told Will about Sebastian trying to force Clary, which resulted in excessive cursing.

"I cannot believe that bastard did that, that bloody idiot. I'll kill him for hurting you and her. How fucking dare he! How did she deal with it?" Will asked.

"Well…" I lingered.

"What?" He asked, irritated.

"Well, I sort of…"

"WHAT?! YOU ARE KILLING ME MISTER." Will screeched.

"Holy shit fine! I slept with her!" I blurted.

"You slept with her?! Holy shit! Well that escalated quickly!" He said, laughing his arse off. "I thought you weren't even talking! Since when you were friends?"

"No I mean, we never had sex, I just _**slept **_with her, next to her, and I held her Will." I said softly.

"Oh. I see. Damn. What led to that?" Will asked.

"She was really upset about what happened and she wasn't answering any of Isabelle's calls, since Isabelle knew of Clary's plan she didn't worry at first since she thought they'd be busy or sleeping, but then Isabelle was texting one of her friends, and she had just seen Sebastian walking past this party she was at, and he looked freaked out. Then Isabelle started worrying, so I went over because I started worrying too and she needed comforting, so yeah it led to that." I explained.

"So you guys are just friends then? Nothing sexual ever happened?" Will asked.

"Well…" I cringed.

"WHAT?! WHY AM I HEARING THIS SO LATE? Dear me Jace. Will I have to beat you up too?" Will exasperated.

"Yeah I know, I'm sorry. Long story short when we woke up in the morning I took her to school, we dealt with it, I beat up Sebastian and I got suspended for three days. That night Clary texted me saying she couldn't sleep, she said she wanted to get rid of the memory of Sebastian and one thing led to another and I was in her bed. We didn't have sex but I helped comfort her in a different way that I did the night before, and then we both slept." I said quickly.

"You beat him up?! Well fucking done mate! How was the next morning?"

"Yeah, and awkward, but last night when I got back from getting my ass whooped, Isabelle and Clary were awake, they comforted me first, well more like I comforted them but yeah, then we went to our rooms, and an hour later Clary came in to comfort me, and we slept, we kissed and parted ways for good." I said sadly.

"Parted ways for good?" Will asked.

"Yep, for good. We decided whatever we had between us wasn't worth it." I said wistfully.

"Dammit Jace you piss me off so much." Will growled angrily.

"What? We said it was best to part separate ways. We can't be together, too many consequences, she doesn't want to be seen with me, shit like that." I rubbed the spot above my heart, slightly sore and aching.

"Separating ways? The hell you are. Jace, I don't understand why you won't fight for what you want." Will said annoyed.

"If I knew we had a chance I would fight for it, but we don't Will. That's just the way things are." I said sadly.

"Oh shut up you arsehole. I hate admitting to it but you aren't so bad looking. She is single and you know deep down she desires you and has some feelings for you. There's your chance, just fight for it to work otherwise you don't really love her. Don't feed me the bullshit that you do love her because I won't believe it unless you take what you want. Stop hiding how you feel and be a man, otherwise when I come on Friday, I will just tell her myself." Will lectured me.

"Okay, I'll speak to her and see what happens." I rolled my eyes. No point in ever arguing with Will Herondale.

"Good." Will said happily.

"So how come you're coming to New York early? You always come in December to celebrate your birthday, it's only November, there's a month left?" I asked.

"I'm staying for the month. School is allowing me the holiday." He said.

"Seriously?!" I asked excitedly.

"Yes, I know you cannot wait to see the best looking man ever, but please restrain yourself." Will said cockily.

"Yeah whatever, you'll be sleeping on the couch if you don't shut up." I threatened.

"Okay! Okay! You win. I must go Jace. Jem is waiting for me. Bye idiot, I'll call you tomorrow to see how things went, do not disappoint." Will scolded.

"Yes Father." I said mockingly.

"I can't wait to be back in New York after a long time, we have some people to deal with Jace."

"Yeah, I know." I said, and hung up.

I realised Will was right. I wasn't even really trying with Clary because I was too scared of the outcome, but if I really wanted things to work I needed to try harder and take what I want. I needed to stop being scared of my feelings and actually try to see if I could make anything happen.

Even if she shot me down, at least I could get all my feelings out there and move on properly and never look back.

God I sound like such a girl.

As soon as I see Clary, I'm going to do it. I have to be a man and be brave. I used to be brave and so confident but after everything that's happened, I pretty much have the confidence of a dweeb, except the fact I'm still good looking. I'm finally going to take what I want.

…

…

* * *

**...**

**...**

**Clary**

…

"What is it that you want Jace?" I asked, taking a deep breath. He was straddling me. His knees on other side of my hips. He towered over me, one hand on my upper thigh and the other cupping the back of my head, holding me securely.

"I want you." He whispered against my ear. "I want you so bad. Let me have you."

I'm pretty sure when he said that I released some embarrassing strangled noise that would be impossible to comprehend, but on the inside I was wheezing. Holy shit I was so wet. God he is _**so **_hot.

He kissed down my neck softly, and kept going until he pulled the hem of the shirt down to get more skin. He licked the skin between my breasts and then blew on the hot wet skin making my back arch. Our chests connected and he slid his hand up my back, caressing the skin. I shakily moved my hands around his waist and gripped him closer. His skin felt incredibly smooth and hard. So good. He groaned against my chest and then his hands let go of my back, and he shifted himself lower on my body so he was face to face with my stomach. He lifted up my shirt and pressed a wet kiss against my stomach.

"Fuck." I bit my lip and groaned, God this felt so good. "Why are we doing this? What happened to staying away from each other?" I sucked in a breath of air when his hand wrapped itself around my hip.

"I can't do it; I don't want to do it. Screw all the consequences. I don't care about them, I just care about you." He stood up on his knees and ran his hands through his hair over towering me like the avenged angel he is. Damn he makes me breathless. "I don't know what to do."

I slid up the duvet to sit myself against the head board and he climbed over my legs to sit beside me. We both stretched our legs out on the bed.

"Look Clary, I have a lot to say to you. We don't have enough time right now though. How about I meet you at your house after school around 5?" He asked.

"Yeah sure." My voice was high. I couldn't help it, being around Jace confused the hell out of me and made me happy at the same time. What did he need to say to me? Oh God this was going to haunt me all day.

"Hey! Why is this door locked?!" Isabelle shouted through the other side of the door. Shit. Jace covered my mouth and whispered for me to get in his en suite bathroom. I quickly got in and closed the door. I heard Jace and Isabelle talking on the other side.

"Where's Clary?" Isabelle asked.

"She needed the bathroom." Jace answered.

"Oh okay, why was the door locked?" She tested.

"I don't know, the knob must have locked itself when you closed the door on the way out." Jace wavered.

"Hmm yeah okay." Isabelle didn't believe him. Dammit.

Have you spoken to the folks yet?" Isabelle asked him.

"Spoke to dad this morning; he's going to speak to mom, we're going to the hospital later. Haven't seen Maxi yet, he won't see me like this." Jace said softly.

"Yeah let's hope, Maxi wouldn't understand this." Isabelle said sadly.

Max was the youngest child out of all the Herondale siblings. I had the fortune of talking to him on many occasions. He was the sweetest, nicest, most adorable child I had ever seen. He saw the positive in everything. He was addicted to comics and video games and anime. He was also extremely protective over those who he loved, and very sensitive. Isabelle had told me whenever something 'bad' happened to Jace, Max would always stay at a friend's house, to spare him the drama he was way too young to deal with yet. Jace and his family didn't want Max to have to deal with this. Max was only eleven and it was unfair if he had to deal with this.

"Clary! Hurry up! It's eight o clock now; we need to get going in like ten minutes." Isabelle banged on the en suite door scaring the crap out of me.

"Yeah I'm done!" I quickly washed my teeth and luckily found a newly wrapped toothbrush in the drawer and brushed my teeth. I would have to get Jace a new one. I walked out of the bathroom, hoping I didn't look guilty.

"Wow you need to hurry up and go get changed, we're going to be late!" She nagged but the smirk on her face betrayed her annoyance.

"Okay! Let me go get changed I'll meet you out front." I told her.

I ran back into Isabelle's room and grabbed the clothes I had brought with me yesterday for today. Since it was the beginning of November the weather had taken a chilly side. I put on my emerald green knitted sweater, black skinny jeans and laced up my boots. I quickly brushed my hair and it fell in soft waves over my chest. I grabbed my bag and headed out the door, but of course it would only make sense for me to slam into Jace before leaving.

"Hey! Easy there." Jace steadied me with his arms. He'd finally put a shirt on, thank God, he was so damn distracting.

"Hey, sorry! I got to go; Isabelle's waiting for me outside." I told him quickly.

"Don't forget I'll be coming around at 5." He gave me tight nervous smile.

"Yeah I'll remember. Don't worry. I used the new toothbrush in your bathroom by the way, sorry about that." I said, giving him a sweet smile in return, wanting to calm his nervous.

"It's okay. Have a good day at school. Stay out of trouble and try to avoid Matt Anderson until I deal with him." Jace leaned over and brushed his lips against my forehead lovingly and walked away leaving me shocked. Well that was sweet; he really knows how to make a girl swoon. I shook myself and carried on walking towards the car. Dammit I forgot about having to deal with that. Stupid asshole Matt Anderson, I'm just glad I got all the paint out of my hair.

Wait...

I never told Jace about Matt Anderson. How did he know? What the hell.

I opened the door to Isabelle's car and sat in.

"Ready?" Isabelle said grinning.

What was she happy about? I was tense and tired and ready to just drop of the face of the planet any second.

"Yeah. I'm ready." I yawned.

Well today is going to pretty much suck, until 5 I guess.

…

…

* * *

...

...

**Jace**

…

Holy shit. What the fuck was I going to say to Clary?

Oh shit, do not chicken out. God knows what she already thinks. I'm just going to have to deal with this at 5. Dammit. I hope she doesn't shoot me down like I deserve to be, figuratively and literally. I wonder what she'll think about what I have to say to her. I guess if it doesn't work out we'll just have to go our separate ways, like I had originally planned.

"Oh my poor baby! Your dad told me what happened!" My mom rushed into the room, grabbing my face inspecting me everywhere. "Are you ok?! Why didn't you come to us last night? You should have woken us up!"

"I'm okay mom, seriously. I felt better after showering and cleaning my cuts. Maybe we could just go to the hospital to check on any internal bruises, broken ribs or you know, brain damage." I knocked on my head for emphasis.

"Come on kiddo, get up. Let's take you to the hospital." She stood up and I followed after her. We got into the car and my dad came out and sat in the front seat.

"William told me he rang, did you two speak?" My dad asked me.

"Yeah we had a good conversation. I can't wait to spend this entire month with him." I grinned at the thought of Will and me back together again. Jonathan, Alec, Will, Magnus and Jem were always my closest friends.

Alec was my brother and four years older than me, so we were closer even though we were distant from each other since he lived in Canada with his boyfriend Magnus. Magnus was crazy and amazing. When I went to Canada the past summer, he helped me out a lot. He helped me grief in interesting ways. Magnus was the strange little kid who liked to dress in vivid colours, who lived across the road from us who everybody ignored but we decided to get to know him and we took a liking in him. Now he was pretty much family. Will was my closest cousin and Jem was his best friend from London, he would come over a lot, and he soon became one of our best friends. Thinking about us together reminds me of the day we found this magical book one summer. At the time we didn't know that it was one of Isabelle's fairy tale books that she had left outside. We thought it had fallen from the sky by destiny for us. Afterwards Isabelle had killed us for writing our names all over her favourite book.

…

"_Shaaadoowhunters. What are Shadowhunters?" Eight year old Will asked, as he picked up a book he found on the ground. We were outside, in the forest that connected our back gardens. I looked over his shoulder and saw a big book in his hand. It had a reflected picture of New York, but the reflected picture was a weird murky version of New York. It was blue, grey and shiny. It had a silver strip binding the book in the middle. It had black swirly intricate designs surrounding the border. He turned it over and read the back._

"_Shadowhunters. Mystical human-angel hybrids. A thousand years ago, the angel Raziel mixed his blood with the blood of men and created the race of the Nephilim. They walk amongst us, unseen but ever present, our invisible protectors. They call themselves Shadowhunters. Their task is to keep the peace among the warring downworlders: the human demon crossbreeds we know as warlocks, vampires, werewolves and faeries." Will pulled on the strip and the book opened. It fell onto a page with the headline: __**Parabatai.**_

"_What's a Parabatai?" Jonathan asked._

"_Parabatai's are a pair of Nephilim warriors who fight together and are closer than siblings. They are partners who would lay down their lives for each other. The pair must stand before the Council and swear an out to lay down their lives for each other. Parabatai share each other's powers and can feel a strong connection between them. They also share a part of their strength with each other. This connection can be split apart by __**death**__." Magnus read out. _

"_I want a parabatai!" Will grabbed Jem by the sleeve and pulled him to towards him. "You're mines." _

_Jem chuckled at him. _

"_Do you want to be my parabatai Magnus?" Alec asked shyly. It was quite bold of him._

"_I'd love to." Magnus grinned._

"_That means I'm stuck with you Jace." Jonathan frowned._

"_Hey shut up. You know you love me." I stuck my tongue out at him and he rolled his eyes at me._

"_You have to protect me forever you know, keep my face away from people trying to damage this precious thing." Will stroked his face lovingly._

"_Oh dear me." Jem flicked Will's forehead._

"_Hey! What did I just say about protecting my face?" Will scowled. _

"_He also has to protect you from sounding like an idiot." I sniggered. _

"_Shut up less prettier version of me." William teased._

"_Whatever. I'm prettier." I said, kicking his leg lightly._

"_Since Magnus and I are the oldest, we should decide rules we should follow on being a parabatai." Alec announced._

"_You're only 12." Jem factually said. _

"_Still four years older than you guys." Magnus said smugly._

"_Aren't you a little old to play games with us?" I raised his eyebrow._

"_Shut up, you invited us to play and we were bored." Alec glared. "Okay, have you guys got any ideas?" _

_We sat down in a circle on the grass. _

"_I've got a good one! A parabatai must keep his partner away from girls and cooties." I said, my nose twitching in disgust. _

_They all shuddered. _

"_Good one." They said simultaneously. _

"_Okay, next one?" Will asked._

"_A parabatai must not hate or hurt his parabatai no matter what he does. They must work it out!" Jonathan's rule._

"_A parabatai must forgive his parabatai if he does something wrong." Magnus's rule._

"_A parabatai must not judge his parabatai for the choices he makes." Alec's rule._

"_A parabatai must defend his parabatai's honour, even when he is in the wrong." Jem's rule._

"_A parabatai must be the better man, if the two fall in love with the same girl, let him have her." Will's rule._

"_We'll think of more as we go along!" Alec exclaimed. _

"_Yep. We're going to be the best parabatai pair ever." Jonathan said, winking at me._

_We all wrote our signatures on the parabatai page, closed the book and then bound it with the silver strip and headed back to the house._

…

I think at some point we all broke the rules. Especially me. I broke the bond. Everybody else still has their bond, but I don't since my parabatai is dead. We were parabatai's for a long time, but when high school started we kind of forgot about that, especially since Alec and Magnus were much older than us. We all still had our parabatai's, except me of course, but we didn't talk about it much, especially since we realised that book was a fairy tale book and not real. It was childish now, but I'd do anything to have my parabatai back. Jonathan and I had gone our separate ways. It was hard on Will, Jem, Alec and Magnus, but I refused to let them stop being friends with him because Alec and Will were my family and Jem and Magnus were their friends first. I thought it wasn't fair if they all stopped talking to Jonathan because I had stopped, so everything went on as normal even though it was slightly awkward. We all had to hang out separately of course. The other guys always tried to make things better between us but it never happened.

Especially after Jonathan started dating Isabelle.

…

…

* * *

**...**

**...**

**Clary**

…

_Brrrrring._

Isabelle and I had run through the front doors as soon as the bell started ringing. Thank God we weren't late; I don't think the both of us could deal with getting yelled at by Mr. Morgenstern first thing in the morning after the night we had. We were both exhausted, and Isabelle had almost crashed three times because of sleep deprivation.

"Stupid fricken school, why can't it begin at like never o clock and finish at half past never come back?" Isabelle groaned.

"I wish. But unfortunately we are stuck here till half past 3." I opened my locker door and quickly pulled out the books I would need. Isabelle banged her head on her locker next to mine. Repeatedly.

"Come on we have to go to class." I grabbed her arm and dragged her to our first class.

After the painful slow hours of two English and two calculus lessons in a row, I finally got my lunch break. Matt Anderson slowly walked past, raisin an eyebrow at Isabelle and me and she mockingly slowly raised her middle finger at him.

"Oh Isabelle! Don't sharpen your claws for me." Matt leaned over our table and smirked at us.

"Go away." Isabelle snarled at him.

"Oh hush up Isabelle. I'm here to talk to Miss Fray here." Matt narrowed his eyebrows at me. "I'm glad to see you got the paint out of your hair. Hopefully that'll teach you to stay away from Jace."

Okay, this was seriously pissing me off. I stood up from my seat and pointed a finger at Matt.

"Look here Matt fucking Anderson. What is the big deal if I spoke to Jace ONE TIME? Are you everyone's dad? 'Oh you can't talk to him or you can't talk to her' who the hell are you to tell me who I can or cannot speak to?! And picking on girls, seriously? At least leave that to the female bitches at this school. Why do you care so much about what I'm doing? If you're doing it for Sebastian well that's even worse because we are, NEVER. EVER. GETTING. BACK. TOGETHER!" I yelled at him furiously, jabbing my fingernail into his chest with each word. "So stop bothering me, I can do as I please!" I huffed out. He was red in the face and I realised the entire cafeteria was silent except for a few chuckles and snorts.

"Okay, that's fine with me, as long as you don't mind being tormented every day." Matt Anderson growled. From the corner of my eye I could see Sebastian walking up to our table and the entire cafeteria staring at us. Dammit.

"Matt leave it be. She isn't worth it. Let her hang out with the kinds of Jace. When she's found in a ditch dead, covered in filth and her own blood she'll regret it." Sebastian said, smirking at us.

That bastard Sebastian hurt Jace yesterday. Isabelle and I were _**so**_ going to give him a piece of our minds and kick him in the nuts once or twice.

"Okay that is enough! Stop talking about my brother like that, you have no right!" Isabelle yelled at him, standing up from her seat. We were all standing up, staring down at each other.

"No right? What right did Jace have to murder Jonathan?" Matt asked

"You don't even know the full story." Isabelle said quietly.

"I know enough, Jonathan's dead right? That's all we need to know." Sebastian said loud and clear.

"Just like you almost beat Jace to death last night?" I snapped at him.

"Oh we were nowhere near killing him, we almost got there but the little bitch ran away." Sebastian laughed, his eyes shining and Matt laughed along with him.

"You bastards, you'll get what's coming to you. I hope your asses rot in hell." Isabelle cried. Sebastian merely shrugged his shoulders and Matt smirked.

"I don't get it Isabelle. Jonathan was your boyfriend and Jace killed him. How could you forgive him? Doesn't it hurt to look at Jace every time and to remember what he did to you? What he did to all of us? How can you live with him?" Sebastian asked cruelly.

Isabelle's fists clenched at her sides, and her breathing grew heavy and frustrated.

"Because he is my brother, because I've known him better than everyone else. You wouldn't understand since you don't know him or the full story. So shut up!" Isabelle yelled at him furiously.

"I can't stand you." She turned to me. "How did you ever date this clown for a year? Why didn't I stop you?" She asked me, confused. I smirked at her.

"I don't even know. Why didn't you stop me?" I asked her sarcastically.

"Eh. We all make mistakes." Isabelle winked at me.

"Come on Clary, we all know you loved me, especially loved having sex with me. You loved jumping all over my cock didn't you?" Sebastian smiled. His tone was frigid and chilly.

Everybody in the cafeteria started making whooping noises and dog whistles. My body flared with heat. What a lying asshole.

"I never got nowhere near your dick Sebastian and you know that. I didn't even want to have sex with you!" I yelled at him, my cheeks burning up.

"Because you're a prude virgin? Yeah we all know that!" He hollered. The cafeteria continued to make stupid noises.

"Nope not at all! I seem to be able to get with it with everyone else, JUST NOT YOU!" I shrieked at him, my voice cracked towards the end.

"So you admit to being a slut then?" Matt raised his eyebrows.

"I didn't mean it literally. I don't get it on with every person. I'm just saying I have no problem with anyone but you!" I hissed at him.

The cafeteria seemed to enjoy the show we were putting on.

"Yeah sure! I bet you got it on with everyone behind my back! I bet you're with Herondale! You like the way he touches you more than the way I did Clary? Huh! Do you?" Sebastian asked maliciously. Yes. Yes I do Sebastian. I don't just like it, I _**looooove **_it, but I wasn't going to tell him that.

"It wasn't even like that!" I yelled at him. _**Lie. **_

"Sure it wasn't! You are friends though right?!" He yelled back.

Yep. That was the big question. We said we were going to stay away from each other last night, but after this morning? And what's going to happen after school?

"Well?" Sebastian raised an eyebrow.

Did I want to be Jace's friend? Yes. Do I want to compromise my happiness for these assholes at my school that don't even care about me or my happiness? No.

"Yes. Yes I am." I replied confidently.

The cafeteria burst into negative murmuring and I could hear people whispering things like "what the fuck?" "Is she crazy?" "Stupid girl going to ruin everything."

"I thought so." Sebastian said, staring weirdly at me. It freaked me out.

"Whatever. Let's go Clary we have better things to do." Isabelle said.

"Come on. Let's go too Matt. We haven't got time to waste on these two. They'll regret it. Not now, but they soon will. They all will." Sebastian said creepily. They both walked away, leaving me cold with goose bumps popping all over my skin and slightly frightened. What did he mean by that?

"What a fucking freak." Isabelle muttered.

"I know right. Can we just go?" I asked.

"Sure." We both left the cafeteria and walked in the hallways until we reached our lockers and sat against them.

"I hate Sebastian." Isabelle said, her eyebrows narrowing.

"Same. I cannot believe what he did to Jace. I honestly think he'd have no problem beating Jace to death and wouldn't care if he did. Bastard. I cannot believe those comments he made either." I said angrily. "How did I ever love him?"

"I don't think you really did Clary." Isabelle said softly.

"I don't think I did either." I agreed.

"So you and Jace are friends right?" She asked after a while.

"Yeah. You don't mind that do you?" I asked, biting my lip.

"No, not at all." Isabelle said, smiling slightly.

"What?" I raised my eyebrow at her.

"Nothing." She winked.

"What do you know that I don't?" I asked.

"Nothing." She winked again.

"Whatever skinny bitch."

"Love you too red bitch."

After that, the bell rang, forcing us to get our butts of the floor and to get to our classes. After the slow torturing hours of class the final bell rang and I walked home quickly, telling Isabelle I was too exhausted when she asked if we could go to the local diner to get burgers, but really I was restless to finally get home and speak to Jace.

…

…

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**...**

**...**

**Jace**

…

My hands were sweating. This was really ugly. I hoped Clary wouldn't notice when we speak. It was five to 5 and I was at the top of Clary's house. I hope I didn't choke on what I had to say otherwise my big speech earlier of taking what I want would be a fail.

I walked towards the house, my legs slightly shaking. God I was such a mess. It had been a long time before I pursued a girl and Clary wasn't just any girl. I didn't know how to act with her, I just hoped I could convince her to be mine and if not that, at least friends.

I rang the doorbell and stood there, the seconds stretching out forever. It finally opened after what felt like hours and Clary stood there, looking shy and hesitant.

"Come in." She said softly, opening the door wider. This was the first time I was actually going to Clary's house, through the front door. Her house was beautiful and spacious. The house had a lot of art work around it. Some was complicated and some was simple, but you still couldn't tell what either meant.

She stepped to the side and let me walk past. "You want to go upstairs to talk?" She asked.

"Yeah, sure." I said, following her up the stairs. My nerves were getting better of me, I knew I should have talked to Will before doing this, but the stupid English moron wouldn't answer and I wasn't planning on standing her up.

She led me down a hallway and opened the door to her bedroom. She sat down on the edge of the bed and looked up expectantly at me.

"You said you had a lot to say to me. What do you have to say?" She asked me softly. I stood between her legs and fell to my knees in front of her. I took her hand in my own and inhaled a deep breath.

"Okay, I'm going to be blatantly obvious and you tell me how you feel about it afterwards." She nodded her head at me.

"I like you. I like you a lot. More than I should to be honest. I want to be with you. You're the only girl who really gets me and doesn't judge me for my past. I've liked you for a long time Clary. I can understand if you don't want this, but if you want to be friends, I'm okay with that too. If you want to ignore me for the rest of your life you can do that as well. Even if you were to be with me, I don't want everyone to know. I want you to be safe; I don't want people targeting you too, angel for being with me. What do you think?" I said softly. Holy shit! Holy shit I was going to die. I hope she says something soon otherwise I'll pass out. I looked down, afraid of what answers would lie in her eyes.

"I I don't know - oh wow. Jace, I don't want to be in a secret relationship with you." She whispered.

Oh crap. Fuck my life. My shoulders slumped. Fuck. I'm going to kill Will for thinking this was a good idea. What were we thinking?! Why would she want to be with me? Can you hear that sound? That's the sound of my heart breaking and my fists beating the shit out of Will Herondale the English bitch.

"I want to be in a relationship with you, where I don't have to hide you." She said, happiness seeping into her tone.

"What?" I asked, awed at the possibility of what her words meant.

"I do want to be with you." She replied.

"Seriously?" I asked, stupefied.

"Yes." She exclaimed.

I cupped her face in my hand and pulled her in for a long sweet kiss. She tasted like sweet strawberries. I slowly moved my hands down her body and wrapped them around her soft waist. She peacefully sighed against my mouth and wrapped her arms around my neck. We kissed for a long time, our lips moving in synch together. It felt perfect, like it always has. This was too good to be true. She played with the waves at the back of my head, twirling them around her fingers. She held onto me tightly.

"I want to try this with you. Don't make me regret this." Clary said breathlessly against my forehead when we finally split.

"I won't. I would never do that to you." I replied honestly.

"Okay." She said, taking a deep breath.

"Do you like me Clary?" I asked huskily.

"Yes. I have for a while." She answered.

"Oh wow." Hearing that from her was bewildering.

"Why would you say yes?" I asked.

"Because. It's a long story. Stay over tonight. We can explain everything to each other. We still need to talk about important things, before we decide to take this anywhere." She said.

"Yes totally. I'll stay over. We can do that." I promised.

We would make this work, somehow.

Will would be proud.

…

…

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**ERMERGERD ITS 3 AM! And I should be asleep! I promised you all a update today though since it's my birthday 13/06 ;D can I get a lot of reviews since it's my birthday :( ?**

**Next chapter includes the upcoming night and Clary and Jace finally taking this more into detail! I hope you are happy with this chapter. You will get Clary's POV of this last small scene as to why she gave in so easily ;) Are they going to keep this a secret or not? Find out in the next chapter! Review for it! And you finally got to meet Will! I hope you all enjoyed the way I portrayed him. PLEASE REVIEW, FOLLOW, AND FAVOURITE! LOVE YOU ALL! **


	14. I Like You

**Thank you for the reviews, favourites and follows :) it means a lot to me! It makes me so happy :') especially since it was my birthday! I woke up with so many notifications I was like WOW! Thank you all. It really does make my day whenever I get an email from you guys. I love talking to you all. I always try to reply :)**

**I wasn't planning on updating for two weeks since I have a stupid exam coming up and it's in two weeks but I just wanted to give you a little something for being so sweet with your reviews. I wanted this to be a lot longer but I just don't have the time because of stupid school you see. So instead of making you wait super long for a long chapter, I split them in two different chapters, this is the first one and the next one will hopefully come out next week sometime. I hope this is still long enough for you guys :') love ya all.**

**This chapter doesn't have much action, but I thought it'd be nice to have a chapter just dedicated to Jace and Clary's evening discussing things for this first half. So yeah this chapter's a bit of a fluffy chapter.**

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**This chapter includes a slight amount of sexual content.**

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**I don't own anything not the characters or the songs or anything remotely similar the idea is just mine.**

**Chapter Songs:**

**Hoobastank – The Reason**

**Rihanna - Stay**

**Imagine Dragons – On Top of the World**

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**Clary**

…

**i like you.**

**...**

* * *

…

…

This was nerve-racking. There was five minutes left till Jace came over and I was sweating. I knew what I was going to do. Jace wanted to tell me stuff but so do I. I want Jace; I want to be to be friends with him or even more than that. And after today I can't bring myself to care for anyone else's opinion. I'm going to do whatever makes me happy, I don't care what labels people will give me. I would have to speak to Isabelle about this and hope she would be okay with it. I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable and I definitely wouldn't want to lose Isabelle to this. I would have to explain it to her somehow if she didn't understand. I heard a knock on the door and opened it. There stood Jace, looking strange, nervous and uncomfortable. I'm glad I wasn't the only one.

"Come in." I said softly, opening the door wider. "You want to go upstairs to talk?" She asked.

"Yeah, sure." He said, following me up the stairs.

I hope he couldn't notice the way my legs were shaking. This was going to be uncomfortable. I led him down the hallway and opened the door to my bedroom. I sat down on the bed giving him all the space he needed. I looked up at him anxiously and waited for him to say something. He looked nervous and confused as to where he should start, so I decided to start for him.

"You said you had a lot to say to me. What do you have to say?" I asked, hoping it would help him talk about what he had to say. He stood between my legs and feel to his knees in front of me. Oh God. He took my hand and inhaled a deep breath. Oh wow I hope he wasn't going to tell me he was dying or something.

"Okay, I'm going to be blatantly honest and you tell me how you feel about it afterwards." He said, and I nodded my head at him.

"I like you. I like you a lot. More than I should to be honest. I want to be with you. You're the only girl who really gets me and doesn't judge me for my past. I've liked you for a long time Clary. I can understand if you don't want this, but if you want to be friends, I'm okay with that too. If you want to ignore me for the rest of your life you can do that as well. Even if you were to be with me, I don't want everyone to know. I want you to be safe; I don't want people targeting you too, Angel for being with me. What do you think?" He looked down and took in a shuddering breath.

Oh my God. I was astounded. He had said what I had wanted to tell him! Oh wow. He felt the same way. This was all I wanted for, for so long, for so many years and now it was right in front of me. He liked me. Jace Herondale liked me. I was finally getting what I had secretly wanted my whole life. Nobody knew how much I crushed over Jace when I was younger and how much more that crush as I became a teenager. He was the guy that starred in my day dreams, they guy that every girl got a taste of except me because I was just his sisters best friend, the girl who was always around but wasn't really around him. I remember how at the start of the year I was determined to make this my year and to stay away from Jace at all costs so that he didn't affect my social life. It's funny how I was afraid of him and scared of being alone with him, but I had actually had him in my bed, _**touching me.**_ It wasn't until I got to know him that I realised he wasn't scary at all. He was an amazing person and I wanted to get to know him better. I remember when I was afraid that if I was even anywhere near him, it would have had people spreading rumours about me, but I had actually walked into school with him wrapped around me not even caring what anybody else might have thought. I wanted this year to be perfect but it was already so fucked up, so why not carry on? Who honestly cares about what anyone else has to say? I know everybody will have a huge problem with this as if it's any of their business. I know they will probably stop talking to me.

The cheerleaders in Gym were acting odd with me anyways after Monday, and I knew if I started seeing Jace, the wariness would stop and it was be replaced with pure hatred. Would they kick me off the team? Maybe, but cheerleading never made me truly happy, being with Jace seemed to though. I don't think I would care if I got kicked off the team. I would be upset about the people who would start to hate on me though which would suck. I guess you have to go through hard times to get to the happy ending right? I'd rather go through what I would have to go through to be happy then to not to be truly happy at all. But then he said he didn't want anyone to know… Fuck that. What was the point in that? Anyways if people knew the truth about how I felt for Jace, it would just prove which of my friends were _**really **_my friends and which ones weren't. It wouldn't make me happy if I had to hide what I felt for Jace, it would just stress me out even more and make me feel awful. Why should I have to hide what makes me happy? I haven't done anything wrong! If people start to treat me bad well it just shows what kind of person they are. No, no way was I hiding the way I felt for Jace. If this was going to happen it was going to be open knowledge for everyone. Matt Anderson, Sebastian Verlac and all the other assholes that have a problem with this can kiss my booty. I decided to play a little with Jace, for how I had to watch him flirt with every breathing thing the past few years.

"I I don't know - oh wow. Jace, I don't want to be in a secret relationship with you." I whispered, trying not to snort.

His eyes widened and his shoulders slumped. He probably thought he was getting rejected. He probably believed he just embarrassed himself to the point of no return and was getting his ego bruised.

"I want to be in a relationship with you, where I don't have to hide you." I could help the happiness that erupted in my voice.

"What?" He looked stunned, like a ton of bricks had just been thrown at him.

"I do want to be with you." I replied honestly. It was all I wanted.

"Seriously?" He asked, stupefied.

"Yes." I exclaimed.

He cupped my face in his hands and pulled me in for a long sweet kiss. _**Yes**_. This was what I wanted for so damn long. I was finally taking what I wanted. His lips were tender and damp.

He slowly moved his hands down my body and wrapped them around my waist. His hands felt so incredible against my skin. I sighed pleasantly against his mouth and wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his closer. I wanted him against me; I wanted to feel his skin against mine. I wanted to become one with this handsome man. Our lips lingered against eachother for a long time. This was perfect. It was our first kiss as a couple I presumed. I played with the gorgeous waves at the back of his head that I've longed to tug on for so long. I twirled them around my fingers, confused as to how his hair was so soft, silky and how it smelt so damn good.

"I want to try this with you. Don't make me regret this." I said breathlessly against his forehead when we finally split.

"I won't. I would never do that to you." He replied.

"Okay." I said, taking a deep breath.

"Do you like me Clary?" He asked hoarsely.

"Yes. I have for a while." I answered honestly.

"Oh wow." He sounded so shock, like such a thing was unbelievable. Had he looked in a mirror lately?

"Why would you say yes?" He asked hastily.

"Because. It's a long story. Stay over tonight. We can explain everything to each other. We still need to talk about important things, before we decide to take this anywhere." I needed to know how he felt; I needed him to know how I felt. I just needed him to stay over tonight. I needed him.

"Yes totally. I'll stay over. We can do that." Oh crap, now I was slightly nervous.

…

…

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...

...

**Jace**

…

I stepped out of Clary's room to use the bathroom. Wow, we were finally going to do this. Holy crap! Clary had feelings for me! All this time!

I thought it'd be best to text Isabelle to tell my parents that I was staying over at a friend's house so they wouldn't worry about me being out and the chance of getting attacked again, especially with what the doctor had said. I pulled out my phone and texted her.

…

_**Tell the oldies I'm staying at a friend's house so they don't worry. ~ Jace**_

_**Okay. What friend? Is it a girl? I will kill you if it's a girl…especially after last night! ~ Isabelle**_

While Clary and I were sleeping, Isabelle had woken up in the middle of the night to see Clary had disappeared and came into my room looking for her. She had walked in giggling and woken me up. I had flipped her off, telling her Clary would be back in her bed in the morning. She told me she wanted the gossip between me and Clary in exchange for being quiet about this.

_**It is a girl… ~ Jace**_

_**JACE HERONDALE WHAT THE HELL?! WHICH GIRL? ~ Isabelle**_

Oh Isabelle. Does she not know me at all?

_**Calm down! It's Clary! I'm staying over at Clary's house to talk about stuff…important stuff. I'll give you the scoop tomorrow. ~ Jace**_

_**OMG. Don't screw this up bitch. ~ Isabelle**_

_**Yes sir. ~ Jace**_

…

I walked back into Clary's room and she was lying down on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. I laid down next to her and raised myself up on my elbow, looking down at her.

"Where shall I begin?" I asked softly. She tilted her head to look me in the eye.

"How long have you liked me?" Clary hesitated.

"For over a year." I answered honestly.

"Wow." Clary sounded like she was dazed.

"What about you? Why and how long have you liked me?" I asked uncomfortably.

"Oh wow. This is an uncomfortable question." She said chuckling nervously.

"Why? You can tell me anything Clary." I said softly, running my fingers through her hair.

She leaned back against the bed and relaxed.

"I'll tell you, but don't laugh." She muttered. "It's kind of embarrassing and complicated so don't interrupt me."

"I wouldn't laugh. You can tell me anything." I continued to run my fingers through her hair, and she sagged against me and closed her eyes.

"Weelllll….." She dragged on. "It started a long time ago actually. When Isabelle and I became best friends in elementary school, I was always around at your house, and I always had thought you were cute and I might have had a small crush on you. Over the years it developed into something more, but we never talked. I was always just your sister's best friend. I realised we weren't going to be talking anytime soon. When high school came around you changed. You were flirting with all the girls, moving onto a new girl every other day. I wasn't exactly popular and you were. You were known to only hang out with cool people so I thought it would just be best lose the infatuation. After freshman year and the whole thing with Jonathan, I didn't know how to react to that. I had this perfect vision of you being Mr. Perfect, but now it was tainted but I didn't mind for some reason. I thought since Isabelle was so angry with you and how everything went down when you came back for sophomore year, it would be best to move on completely and maybe even hate you. I couldn't do it though, even though I don't know the full story about Jonathan, and from what I do know, I can't hate you."

She took a deep breath. "I care about you too much. You mean a lot to me. When junior year started I realised these feelings weren't going to go away, and for some reason we kept being pushed together, like what happened at your house. That's when I thought it would be best to sleep with Sebastian and that maybe that would prove all I felt for you was lust and then it would go away. This unfortunately led to a huge mistake. I was just so confused and didn't know how I felt for you and Sebastian. I realised that night after what Sebastian had done, when you comforted me, I had never felt so comfortable around anyone I barely knew in such a long time. I had always wanted to be the centre of your attention and I had finally got your attention that night. I got to feel your arms around me and cuddle up with you. It had felt amazing, like what I wanted it to be. I realised that being near you made me happy, happier than I had been in a long time. That's when I decided I was going to try to get closer to you. But then I freaked out after _**that **_night in my room and tried to destroy whatever it was we might have had, but then after seeing you last night the way you were so broken down, I realised how much I care for you, and urgh when I found out it was Sebastian, I was just even more angry! I hate him! And I realised I never really loved him, I just went out with him because he was safe, and everybody else was saying I should go for it, that he was one of the best and I wouldn't get anyone better, so yeah I went out with him. What I felt for him was neutral, I never really loved him … I realised I freaked out for no reason, that I don't care about what anyone has to say or think about whatever I may feel for you. I just know I like you Jace. I want to be with you, in the open. I don't want to hide how I feel." She finally opened her eyes, and looked at me hesitantly.

I didn't know how to explain the happiness I felt in that moment, so I kissed her. I pressed my elbows into the bed on either side of her head and leaned over her. I draped my arm over her waist and scooted closer to her. I pressed my lips against her nose and she smiled. My lips brushed her delicate skin softly. She tucked her head into my chest and I protectively placed a hand across the back of head and held her closer to me.

"Thank you." I whispered, kissing the edge of her ear. "You have no idea how much that means to me. I can't believe you felt like that for so long and I didn't notice and by the way, whoever told you Sebastian was the best you would ever get is a piece of shit because seriously Clary you could get anyone, you're beautiful but it's your amazing personality that makes you so damn likeable ... and sexy. You deserve the best person out there, which is definitely not even me."

"It's okay, boys are blind and thanks, but don't put yourself down like that, your worth more than you think." She said, blushing softly. "Can you tell me? Why and how you liked me?"

I smiled at her softly. "Ok. Yes you were the girl who was my sister's best friend, so I thought it was best not to bother you. My sister could be a scary girl. Yes I was only interested in being popular and you didn't really fit that category back then. I wish I didn't care so much about being popular then. Maybe everything would have been different and I would be happier if I didn't care. But I did. I really noticed you for the first time in sophomore year. Yes it was because you were popular, but that wasn't why I fell for you. That was the how I fell for you, how I realised you weren't just my sister's best friend anymore. You were beautiful. You stuck out for me, your hair helped with that by the way." Clary giggled.

"But it was the way you were different from the rest of them. You weren't a bitch or a snob. You were so nice, and I liked that. I liked how you could see the good in other people. How you didn't judge so easily. How you were nice to the people who are called dorks and geeks. You were the one who hadn't let popularity change you; you let it make you a better person. When you were near me you never went out your way to move and make me feel alienated. You treated me like any other random person in the corridor. I couldn't understand why you were with Sebastian. He was a vile freak, and you are so innocent and sweet. You deserved much better. Even I don't deserve you. You deserve the best. You could never do wrong Clary. That's what I like about you. You're the opposite of me. You make me feel like I'm not surrounded by people who hate me." Clary looked shocked.

"Wow. I never knew that…that I could have affected you like that." She murmured.

"Well you do. Girls can be blind too." She kissed my forehead and I grinned at her.

"I love having you hold me." She whispered in my ear.

"And I love holding you like this." I said. She sighed and placed a hand against my chest.

After a few minutes she spoke. "Today in school Isabelle and I had an argument with Sebastian and Matt."

Oh God damn it. This is why I hate being out of school, I couldn't watch over them or help them. Just two more days.

"What happened?" I asked, irked.

"Just the usual, we argued about how much we cannot stand one another. Sebastian asked if we were friends and I said yes." She said, picking at her nails nervously.

What?! She was friends with Sebastian?! But she just said all that stuff about how much she hated him and never loved him? What the fuck. I pulled myself away from her and she frowned.

"What do you mean you're friends with Sebastian again?" I asked, anger bubbling inside of me.

"What are you – Oh wait no! He asked if you and I were friends, not him and me! I wouldn't be his friend!" She said, cringing.

"Oh woops, I thought you were talking about you and Sebastian. Sorry." I said, feeling myself heat up in embarrassment over assuming the wrong thing.

"It's okay, just come back here." She furrowed her eyebrows and stretched her arms at me. I jumped as fast as lightning to get back into her arms.

"Well this is going to be funny, going from friends to dating in one day." I smirked at her.

"True. But I said that I didn't care about everybody else knowing about us. They can say what they want, but I need Isabelle to be ok with this. She's my best friend and I can't lose her. When I spoke to her last night she had said the both of you were okay, but I don't want to ruin that." She bit her lip worriedly. I could help but smile at how cute she looked when she was worried.

"Isabelle knows." I tried hard not to laugh at her raised eyebrows and twisted lips.

"What do you mean?" She looked spooked. "Is she here?" she whispered.

"No Clary." I couldn't help but laugh. "She knows how I feel about you. She knows I comforted you that night. She knows you were in my bed last night."

"You told her?" Clary still looked confused.

"The day I took you to school Isabelle realised I felt for you and I told her the truth. Since then we've been closer. She's has actually been rooting for us to be together you know. Also she walked into my room in the middle of the night yesterday looked for you, and you were asleep but she woke me up." I winked at her.

She blushed. "No wonder when I got back to the room it seemed like she didn't believe me. Why didn't she tell me?"

"The twin code. We have to keep each other's secrets you know." I smirked at her.

"Oh so the entire time she knew about this. That wrench." Clary frowned.

"That's my sister." I kissed her scrunched up nose.

"I'm so going to kill her." She smiled.

"Hmm. You do whatever you want Angel." I murmured against her head.

"So…" She prolonged.

"Yeah?" I ran my fingers along the arch of her back.

"Where do we go from here?" She asked nervously.

"Clary, will you be my girlfriend?" I asked gutsily. My heart was beating fast.

"Yes." She murmured pleasingly. "Kiss me."

I did exactly as she said.

After an hour of long lingering kisses and whispering sweet nothing's in our ear, we decided to watch a movie. I let her pick the movie, we watched 500 Days of Summer. It was actually good. I could relate with how the guy felt throughout the movie. At first I thought the main girl was a bit of a bitch because he wanted love and she didn't and he was sort of lead on, but she ended up happily married with some other guy even though she didn't want a boyfriend, forget a husband and he was left heartbroken but then I saw how destiny turned out for him, because Summer turned into Autumn. Seasons change and time passes and you eventually move on. It was bittersweet. We ordered chinese take out and ate popcorn while we watched the movie. That was our dinner since neither of us had the energy to make food.

Clary was very tired from not having much sleep for so long, so we decided to go back upstairs about 9 pm. She rushed into the bathroom to change. She walked out of the bathroom in a pair of pyjama shorts and a loose crop t-shirt, leaving her legs, arms and stomach bare. She jumped on the bed, streched loudly and then smugly smiled at me.

Lord give me strength.

"Do you want to sleep now?" I asked her.

"Well, I'm tired, but I don't want to go to sleep. You see my dilemma?" She crossed her arms behind her head.

"That's the entire universes dilemma Clary." I smirked at her.

"That may be so but right now it's my dilemma, do you plan on helping me?" She asked.

"You want me to bore you to the point where you want to fall asleep?" I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Yeah you could do that. Or you could do something else." She said suggestively. "Boyfriend of mine."

She had no idea how happy it made me to hear those words come out of her minx of a mouth.

"Oh really? What do you want me to do, girlfriend of mine?" I said flirtatiously.

"Come lie with me." she said, patting the bed beside her.

"Let me get comfy." I took my shirt off and zipped my jeans down, just leaving my boxers on. Clary's eyes widened in desire and she blushed. I smirked at her, then jumped softly on the bed and lay down next to her.

"Now what?" I asked her.

She twisted her body towards me and smiled at me.

"I don't know really. I didn't think ahead of this." She played with the threads at the edge of her blanket.

"Hmm, well you must be tired from the crappy sleep you've been having lately, how about we just go to sleep?" I offered.

"Hmm that's true, I am extremely tired, but I don't want to sleep yet." she frowned.

"Okay, how about we talk about what happened Monday night? We still need to talk about that." I told her.

"Urgh." She groaned. "I should have just said ok to the sleeping."

She crawled under the covers and hid her face from me.

"Oh no you don't Clary!" I followed her under the covers and pulled the covers on top of us.

She had her face covered with her hands and I tried to pry them away. Her face was red with heat and embarrassment.

"Okay! Okay! What about that night do you want to talk about?" she asked.

"Well the fact that I touched you like that." I stated. I think she turned even redder.

"What about it?" she whispered.

"I don't really know." I chuckled. "Just being back here in your bed reminds me off it."

So you just wanted to embarrass me huh?" She asked.

"No Clary. Can I ask you a question?" I pulled the covers down to our chests to give us some air.

"Sure. What is it?" She lay down on her side and faced me.

"You said the morning after, that it was a huge mistake and it shouldn't have happened, but did you really want it to happen? Do you still regret it?" I asked.

"I only freaked out because I was so confused and I was vulnerable and no I don't regret it now." She smiled at me.

"That's good. Remember when I asked if you had ever _**thought**_ about me?" I asked, smirking.

"What do you mean?" She furrowed her eyebrows. Damn it was cute when she was confused.

I scooted closer to her, pressing my face into her neck. I inhaled a deep a breath. "I asked you if you ever thought about me." I pressed my hand against her hip and stroked it softy.

"When you pleasured yourself." She gasped.

"And you said yes." I kissed her neck softly. "Like music to my ears."

"Oh right…that. I can't believe I actually said that." She shakily whispered.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because that's private and embarrassing!" She exclaimed.

"Okay! Okay I'll let it go for now, but don't expect me to forget it." I said laughing.

"Whatever! How would you feel if someone seduced you to the point you started rambling stupid embarrassing things?" She said, frustratingly blowing steam out of her nose.

"Actually." I raised my eyebrow at her. "That would be awesome."

"Really?" She raised her own eyebrow back at me. "Well, in that case."

Her hands rubbed along my chest, until they brushed against the front of my boxers. Holy shit. Before I could ask her what she was doing, she stroked me once through my boxers. I gasped in pure bliss. My hips thrusted forward on contact and my boxers tented. Before I could even get used to the sensation she stopped.

"Fuck Clary, what are you doing?" I exhaled.

"Trying to get you to ramble about stupid embarrassing things." She mumbled against my ear.

"Keep doing that and I'll ramble about stupid things for you all my life." I moaned.

"I'm going to hold you to that, but I am also extremely tired and living on three hours of sleep. So I want to go to bed. Is that okay with you?" She asked, yawning.

"Of course it is." I kissed her forehead.

She turned around and backed up against me. I slipped my arm across her waist and held her tight, snuggling into her neck.

"Goodnight Jace" She whispered.

"Goodnight Clary." I muttered.

My dick was still hard.

Dammit.

…

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**Hey everyone! I hope you like this chapter ;) Can I please get past 200 reviews for this chapter? :') IT WOULD MEAN SO MUCH! Literally you guys have no idea how much it means for me to know that you people actually like my story, you have no idea.** **Next chapter might include hospital stuff, is Jace literally damaged goods?! Also, maybe stuff about School and Isabelle/everyone finding out about Clace, and much more to come! :D Review to find out though, yes? ;)**


	15. First Dates

**Thank you for the reviews, favourites and follows, you guys got me past the 200 review mark and you have NO IDEA how happy that makes me honestly! THANK YOU! :) I know this chapter is way overdue and it's late, but school has really taken itself out on me, and I also got REALLY ill! I was in and out of sleep for like three days straight, but here's the chapter now! ;D I hope you enjoy it**!

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**By**** the way in this point at the story it is November 2012. It has been two months since the beginning of this story.**

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**I don't own anything not the characters or the songs or anything remotely similar the idea is just mine.**

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**Chapter Songs:**

**Colbie Caillat - What Means the Most**

**Demi Lovato – Gift of a Friend **

**Taylor Swift – I'm Only Me When I'm With You**

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**Jace**

…

**first dates.**

**...**

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…

I woke up with the most beautiful girl wrapped around me and the biggest grin on my face.

Clary Fray was my girlfriend.

Damn. Life doesn't suck so much like it used to. I looked at the clock over Clary's shoulder and saw that it was 7:30 am. We had slept peacefully with no disruptions, thank God. I knew Clary's parents wouldn't be around since they worked outside the city and were coming back on Friday, the same day Will was flying in.

Clary moved her sleep and her eyes slowly opened. She rubbed at her eyes and opened her mouth to speak but I pressed my finger softly against her lips, shushing her.

She raised an eyebrow at me but didn't say anything.

"Don't speak. If you speak, this dream of mine might shatter."

She smiled at me against my finger and nodded her head, snuggling up closer to me.

"Okay you can speak now." I whispered.

She giggled against my chest.

"Thanks boss." She mocked.

"No problem."

"I was going to say good morning, before you refused me the freedom of speech."

"I didn't refuse your freedom of speech, I just delayed it." I smiled smugly.

"Pah-tay-toe, pah-tah-toe!" She exclaimed.

"Shouldn't you get up and get ready for school?" I asked.

"Do I have to?" She frowned. "I'd rather stay in bed all day...with you."

"As tempting as that sounds, I don't want people to find out I am the reason for your truanting. You should go to school and get an education."

"But I'm passing everything so far. I've got a 4.0 GPA. Anyways I've recently taken a dislike to school."

"Because of my absence?" I smirked.

"To some degree." I mockingly pouted at her and she giggled. "But also because of how weird everyone is around me. Ever since I broke up with Sebastian, people have been so hateful towards me. I never realized how mean people could be.

"The best thing you can do is ignore them Clary. That's the way I deal with it all. Barricade yourself with a wall only visible to you, and don't let people who can hurt you get past it."

"I'm afraid if I do that, I'll end up pushing everyone away. Even the people who actually care about me and don't want to actually hurt me."

"Well I let you in, didn't I?"

"After so long," she muttered, while playing with the edge of her blanket.

"I know, but that's different. Consider the circumstances. You were never hated for murdering someone. You wouldn't have to push people away with the fear you would lead them to difficulties in their lives."

"I guess so..." She trailed, biting her lip.

"You do know that if you wish to carry on with the idea of telling people about us, instead of keeping it private, all the weirdness will become disgust and hatred, for being associated with me. Isabelle's the only one who gets away with it and that's because she's my sister."

"Well keeping it a secret is not an option. I refuse to let us do that. I've read enough books to know that it never ends well and breaks the couple apart. If only I was your sister ey?" She smirked.

"Yeah, why not? Just a pair of siblings that date. I think people would be more disgusted to know that a brother and sister were together...and making out and stuff. Let's just not go there." I wrinkled my nose in distaste. That was just gross. "I guess we'll just have to see how the people at our school will deal with this."

"Hmm I guess so. I'd better get ready for school if I don't want to be late." She rose from the bed and opened her wardrobe to pick out an outfit. I wondered if she would get changed in front of me. I doubted it.

She pulled out a turquoise skater dress which was plain, but the last few couple of inches of the dress was dip dyed in dark blue. It had a thin leather belt that went across the middle of the dress. It was gorgeous. It would look incredible on her. She pulled out a pair of black leggings.

"I'm just going to go the bathroom real quick." She said, before stepping out of the room.

She came back a few minutes later looking fresh with bright eyes.

She turned around to face me. For a second I thought she was going to kick me out.

"Would you mind stepping outside so I could get changed?" She blushed, looking adorable in her shorts and crop top.

"Sure." I said, lifting the covers off of me and stepped outside. I ignored my stupid pounding heartbeat that was scared she would see clearly soon and end this.

It was only a few seconds later that she called me in. I walked in and saw her standing in front of her mirror, checking out how she looked.

"Wow, you look as gorgeous as I thought you would." I told her, checking her out for myself. I wish she hadn't decided to go with the leggings but I could see that because of how the November weather was now, it was appropriate. But damn if I didn't miss seeing her legs.

"Oh this is nothing really." She blushed once again. I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. I looked at our reflection in the mirror. She took a deep breath through her nose and her eyes widened. I guess it shocked her still, as much as it shocked me that I could touch her like this. Me of all people.

"Trust me, this is something." I said lightly against her ear, tapping my finger across her stomach, feeling the material of the dress.

"Oh okay..." She said shakily.

"Is this okay?" I asked her.

"This is fine." She said, smiling at our reflection.

"Do you want me to take you to school?"

"I thought you weren't allowed on school property?"

"I can still drop you off in the car. I doubt Mr. Morgenstern will be waiting at the edge of the car park waiting for my arrival with a teacher at every corner of the school waiting and watching for me." Clary laughed.

"You could have dropped me off the other day, when I asked." She realised. "But you didn't want to. You must have hated me after that morning. Especially after what I had said the night before."

"I'll admit I was slightly annoyed." I said carefully, while she frowned. "But I've moved past that."

"What do you mean by slightly annoyed?" She asked, going all paranoid. "Does that mean you were frustrated, or you hated me? Or you thought I was a slut?-"

"Hey! None of that! I didn't think you were a slut! By the Angel Clary. It means what it means. I was just slightly annoyed. Okay, maybe a lot annoyed, but that's beside the point." She scoffed at me.

"Listen, I've moved past that, okay? You explained it yourself yesterday and I totally get it. We did something people don't do until they're way into the relationship. You freaked out. I don't blame you." I explained.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to hate me." She frowned, making her worry lines pop out.

"I could never hate you." I turned her around by the waist so she pressed right up against me. "Okay? I swear to it."

I cupped her cheek in my hand. "Never?" She asked.

"Never. Now how about you go and get yourself some breakfast. I'm going to get changed and washed up." I told her.

"Oh okay. Do you want anything to eat?"

"Nope, I'm good."

"By the way, there's a spare toothbrush in one of the drawers in the bathroom. Use it if you want."

"Okay."

She left the room and headed down the stairs. I pulled on my t-shirt and jeans and headed to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and ran my fingers through my hair. I tried to sort out my bed head hair but I couldn't, so I left it. I washed my face and brushed my teeth with the spare toothbrush.

I jogged downstairs and saw that Clary was washing her finished plate of breakfast.

"Doesn't it get lonely living here alone most of the time?" I asked her.

"I guess so, my parents are only ever here on the odd weekend. It's okay though, I'm used to it." She shrugged.

"You got me as company though, when you want me here." I told her. "You're always welcome at my house too."

"Yeah I know and you're welcome here too." She smiled at me.

"How about when your parents are home?" I asked her. I didn't know how her parents would feel about her being in a relationship with me."

"I don't know. I don't know how they're going to react to us. They probably won't like it Jace. Damn I forgot about that." She bit her lip and looked worried.

"Hey, it' s okay. We'll take it one day at a time, alright?"

"Yeah okay. I guess so." She smiled weakly at me. "Let's not worry about it."

Damn, I hope they wouldn't stop her from seeing me or something like that.

"Shall I take you to school?" I asked.

"Yeah sure."

She grabbed her backpack and locked the door behind her. We walked towards my car which I had parked down the road and jumped in.

We drove in silence while the music played in the background. I played with her fingers gently. I could see her smiling from the corner of my eye.

When I finally reached the school car park I backed up into one of the spaces. From my window I could see Sebastian and Kaelie. She was holding onto his arm and laughing at something he said. He had his hands dangerously low on her butt. Were Sebastian and Kaelie dating? Damn that was fast. I turned to look at Clary and saw that she was looking at the same thing.

"You okay?" I asked her. I hope she didn't still have feelings for him.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I expected this. He didn't really love me anyways Jace. I know that. I don't love him either. I just didn't expect this from Kaelie, even though I really should have. Only she would move on to Sebastian this fast. It's just going to be annoying! I'll have to listen to her brag about her 'stealing' my boyfriend from me, which I'm sure is exactly how she'll phrase it, even though I dumped him. I just can't be bothered to deal with this." She sighed.

"Hey, don't worry. Everyone heard you dump his ass. She's only going to look cheap."

"I guess so. Don't worry about it, okay Jace? I only have feelings for you." She said, then pulled me by the collar and kissed me. It was a soft sweet kiss. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer. I loved that she kissed me even though anybody could glance at my car and see us together. She softly pulled away and smiled sweetly at me.

"I'll see you after school." She said, catching her breath.

"How about I take you on a date?" I asked her.

"Our first official date, huh?" She said, blushing.

"Yeah. So is that a yes or a no?"

"It's a hell yes."

I let out a breathy laugh.

"Awesome. I'll pick you up at nine?"

"Yes." She kissed me on my cheek and opened the car door to leave. "Bye boyfriend."

"Bye girlfriend." I said, grinning at her.

She smiled at me and then stepped out, closing the door behind her.

I watched her walk into the school. I pulled out of the parking spot and headed for home.

…

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**Clary**

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I walked through the school doors until I reached my locker. I opened my locker door and shoved the books from my backpack into it.

"Hey there shorty." Isabelle spooked up behind me.

That girl was in a lot of trouble.

"How was your evening?" she asked, grinning as if she knew exactly how my evening went. What she didn't know was that I was two steps ahead of her.

"I think you know." I said, narrowing my eyes at her, faking an angered face.

"Whatever do you mean Clary?" She asked, raising her eyebrow at me.

"You know exactly how my evening went. Jace told me that you know everything." I said, and I couldn't help breaking out in a grin.

"Omgomgomg! Ah! I'm so glad that he did! I was so frustrated that I couldn't say anything to you!" She screamed, jumping up and down. People stared at her but she didn't care. She was almost as excited as me.

"I know right! Ah Isabelle, he's amazing." I sighed dreamily.

"Ew gross. Are you two together?" She whispered.

I nodded my head at her and she screamed some more.

"I know Jace's side of how he started liking you, now you need to tell me yours!" She whisper-yelled at me.

"I'll tell you as soon as I've done killing you! You knew where I was in the middle of the night when I stayed over! I knew you didn't believe me when I came back to bed!"

"Oh come on! I couldn't tell you I knew! Jace would have killed me! And you would have denied it! Don't deny it! I'm sorry Clary." She puppy-dog eyed me.

"Fine I get it! But I'm still upset I was last to know!"

"It doesn't matter, you know now! But, oh my God, he stayed over all night, did you guys like, have sex?" She whispered with wide eyes.

"Of course not! We only just got together Izzy!" I said blushing.

"Oh right of course. Totally." She wrinkled her nose. "That would be awkward. Ew, you and my brother. Gross. You still need to tell me your side of all of this!"

"I'll tell you at lunch. Come on, let's get to class." I said, laughing at her.

We walked toward our English class and sat in our seats. I saw Kaelie and Sebastian across the room, she was sitting on his lap while he sat on top of his desk. They both looked over at me and then Sebastian said something, causing her to giggle annoyingly. I definitely wasn't looking forward to Gym and listening to Kaelie go on about Sebastian. I bet they've already had sex. Sluts. This class was going to be greaaat. I needed Jace, he sat right in front of me and kept me very occupied with staring at the back of his sexy head, looking at all his amazing hair. Unfortunately that seat was empty until Friday. I just have to get through today.

English went by without incident thank God and so did the rest of my classes. I walked into the cafeteria with Isabelle and Simon. We grabbed our lunches and went to sit outside on the benches for more privacy.

"Well, are you going to tell Simon?" Isabelle said excitedly.

Oh crap. I'd totally forgotten about Simon! I wonder how he would even react to this, but he was normally so chill all the time and didn't care for anything. I'm sure he would be okay with this.

"Tell me what?" Simon raised his eyebrow at me.

"Weeellll, I'm dating someone. Someone I've liked for a long time."

"Sebastian? Again?" Simon asked, confused.

"Ew, no. Not him."

"Who then? You moved on quick, I hope you're not just rebounding and going to end up doing something stupid."

"No it's not like that. I never really liked Sebastian. I always had feelings for someone else and I've realized I don't want to waste anymore time. I already wasted a year and then some with Sebastian."

"Who's the guy?" Simon asked sternly, taking on his big brother role.

Isabelle snorted.

'It's..."

"Yeah?"

"Welllll..."

"Come on Clary. Spit it out."

"I don't know how you're going to react to this…"

"If Isabelle knows, I must know!"

"It's Jace!" Isabelle yelled excitedly.

"Izzy!"

"What?!"

"I was going to tell him Isabelle!" I growled at her.

"Well you took forever! So I did it for you!" She smirked.

"Jace?" Simon said, looking light-headed. He turned to Isabelle. "And you're okay with this?!"

"Yeah, sure. Why not?" Isabelle shrugged. "I've been rooting for them for a while now."

"What? Why? How? When? Where? Why doesn't anybody tell me things anymore?!" Simon exclaimed.

Well if you hung out with us more instead of watching 'Naruto' and playing 'Mario Kart' all day you would know!"

'Have you not heard of this new invention, it's called texting?!"

"Like you would reply! You never reply to my texts." Isabelle said grumpily.

"Aww come on you know I do when I see them! I just don't check my phone often, that's all."

"Well that's your problem, not mine." Isabelle frowned.

"I'm sorry Izzy Wizzy." Simon said, giving the puppy-dog eyes.

"Its okay, you dumbass." Isabelle caved in. They both turned back to me.

"Okay, can you explain how this all happened Clary? You and Jace went from not talking at all to friends to dating in the space of three or two weeks. How did that happen? And how long have you had feelings for him?" Simon said.

"Yeah! I want to know too!" Isabelle said.

"Okay, this is a long story..." I told them.

I told them about how Jace and I seemed to keep bumping into each other and ending up in situations where he would be helpful to me and caring. I then went onto explain in small detail about the kitchen incidence, how Jace came to me in the middle of the night and how he came back the next night. I didn't go into much detail about that either though. I told them about sleeping over in Jace's bed the night Sebastian went after him. Simon was shocked at hearing about Sebastian going after Jace and Isabelle grumbled about him not checking his phone again. I then went to tell them about the next morning where Jace had asked to speak to me after school about how he felt. I told them about how he came over that evening and how we talked about how we felt for each other and decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend and then spent the night together, again. I explained to them how I felt for him for all this time, even when I was with Sebastian. Isabelle aww'd and Simon cringed at the romantic parts.

"Have you had sex?" Simon asked, looking blown away at all this information.

"No! Jeez. We just got together yesterday!" I muttered.

"Wow Clary. Why didn't you tell us about any of this?" Simon asked.

"I know right Simon! Why didn't you, Clary? I had a feeling you did like him, but I didn't want to say anything because you just broke up with Sebastian and you would have clued on that I knew about your alone time with Jace." Isabelle agreed.

I blushed at her comment. "I just never knew how to tell you Isabelle, after everything that happened…I just didn't know how you'd react. I thought you would be mad. I didn't want to ruin our friendship or something. I was too scared to tell anyone."

"Aww Clare Bear! I get it. I wouldn't have said anything either I guess. We should all be honest now okay though?" Isabelle said.

"Totally. No more secrets. Doesn't matter what it is." Simon nodded his head positively.

"Yeah, okay." I said, smiling softly.

"So how far along have you gotten with Jace, physically?" Isabelle asked, curiously.

"What?!" I yelled.

Simon threw his head back and laughed.

"Oh wait gross, that's my brother." Isabelle made a funky face.

"How far have you actually gotten though?" Simon asked.

"Simon!" Isabelle and I yelled at the same time.

"What? I'm curious. We said no secrets."

"Yeah so am I. I'm too nosy for my own good so I'm just going to pretend we're not talking about my brother. So how far along have you gotten then?" Isabelle asked, smiling sheepishly.

I felt my cheeks heat up. "We've kissed and made out and stuff…"

"Stuff? You've guys obviously done stuff since you've shared a bed together more than once and I know my brother isn't a saint. What stuff?" Isabelle examined.

"Are you really going to make me say it?" I asked.

"Just hint it out." Simon said.

"Some lower body fondling. " I murmured.

"On your side or his side?" Isabelle asked.

"Both sides." I said, cringing slightly.

"Oh snap! Clary Fray getting in there!"

"Gross!"

"Whatever guys." I muttered.

Simon and Isabelle burst out laughing.

"Oh Clary, I can't cope." Simon said, wiping water from his eyes.

"Clary, I hope my brother isn't pressuring you into doing anything you don't want to do because he might be more experienced." Isabelle said. "I'll kick him in the nuts if he is."

"No! It's nothing like that. It's actually me who initiates it." I said, blushing.

"Say what?!" Isabelle and Simon yelled at the same time.

"Yup."

"Well hot damn." Simon said with wide eyes.

"Is it because he's more experienced and you don't want to seem like you aren't?" Isabelle asked.

"No. Well, it is kind scary knowing how experienced Jace is, but, it's not because of that. This is my choice. Do you guys think Jace is a virgin?" I asked.

Simon choked on a cough and Isabelle scoffed.

"I doubt it honey." Isabelle said softly.

"Yeah, girls may act like they don't like him in school but it's a well-known rumor that they like to get it on with him in private. Secretly, you know? You'll have to ask him now that you're in a relationship. And anyways if girls from our school don't want him, Jace could have met girls somewhere else. Guys want want guys." Simon said, sadly.

"Unfortunately they don't want you, right?" Isabelle teased.

"Suck it Isabelle. I'll find a girl who wants me one day and will love to have sex with me."

"Gross. Good luck with that. So you and Jace...are you guys dating? Will your relationship be out in the open or a secret?" Isabelle asked.

"It will be out in the open. Secret relationships don't work out. Jace tried to fight me on it but I refused." I explained.

"You know this is going to cause a lot of problems for you with school and what not?" Simon asked.

"I don't care if I'm honest. I want to be with him." I told them honestly.

"We'll always be there for you through all of this you know. No matter what anyone says to you, we will have your back. We won't let them hurt you. I'll kick their asses and Simon will watch and do nothing like the little pussy he is. Right Simon?" Isabelle said, throwing an arm around Simon's neck and Simon nodded his head agreeing with her.

"Thanks guys." I said, laughing at them.

The bell rang and I realised we had gym next.

_Greaaat. _

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**Jace**

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As soon as I had gotten home I went to the kitchen and grabbed a cereal bar. My parents were out at work. I went into the living room and switched on the TV. 'The Big Bang Theory' was on. I lied down on the couch and closed my eyes for a while and thought about the past twelve hours. They had been awesome. My quiet thinking time was disturbed quickly as a huge weight landed on my legs with an "oof".

I opened one of my eyes to see my younger brother Max bouncing on my legs excitedly and laughing.

"Crap! Dude get off me!" I yelled through clenched teeth as his weight crushed my bruised legs.

"What? What's wrong?" Max asked, his laugh turning into a frown.

"Sorry dude, I've got bad muscle bruise pains on my legs." I said, rubbing my legs.

"Oh woops. I'm sorry Jace. I didn't mean to. I swear." He said, apologetically.

"It's fine dude. I know you didn't. Just take it easy on me for a few weeks." I told him.

"Why? What's wrong with you?" Max asked worriedly.

"I just fell over and hurt a few places around my body. I'm okay though Maxxie." I said, ruffling his head. After going to the doctors I had learnt that I had bruised ribs along with bruised muscles along my legs and arms. No brain damage, just cuts. The doctor had given me some muscle cream to help ease the pain though. He said I should rest if I wanted my ribs to heal.

"Oh okay." He said, giving me a toothy grin.

"Why aren't you at school?" I asked him.

"I got the day off." He shrugged.

"And Mom and Dad let you stay home alone?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah. I'm eleven you know. That's old enough to stay home alone." He said, burrowing his eyebrows at me.

"Yeah I know kiddo. I just forget how quickly you're growing up."

"I'm going to be twelve in three months! I wish November would hurry up. I can't wait for February." Max said, excitedly.

"And Izzy and I will be seventeen in two months."

"Wow. Lucky!" Max looked astonished. "I can't wait to be that age!"

"Trust me Maxxie, you won't be saying that when you're my age. You'll wish you could go back to being twelve again."

"Not really. You're just boring. I will be crazy when I'm seventeen!" Max grinned.

"Okay kid. You tell me if you still feel that way when you're actually that age." I winked at him.

"There's one part I don't like about you being older though. Why do you always go out Jace? Even at night-time? I feel like I don't see you anymore." He frowned.

I just realised how much I didn't see my siblings because I was too busy dealing with my own problems. Like when was the last time I rang Alec up? I really needed to do that. I also had to catch Magnus and him up with everything that has happened lately.

"I'm sorry kiddo. I've just been really busy lately. I swear I'll make more time for you." I promised.

"Really?" Max said, hopefully.

"Yep."

"How about tonight? You want to play on the 'Wii'?"

"I have a date tonight. But, how about tomorrow night definitely? Will will be here by then! We'll spend tomorrow evening playing on the 'Wii'. It'll be a game night and we'll hang out okay?"

"Yeah, that sounds awesome!" Max exclaimed. "But, who have you got a date with? Is she pretty? Is she nice? Can I meet her?"

"Whoa. Slow down Maxxie. Yes she is pretty and she is nice. You've also already met her. It's Clary."

"Clary?! Our Clary? The short one?" he yelled.

"Yeah, Clary." I said grinning at him.

"Oh my God, that's awesome! I'm glad you picked someone like her! Why don't you invite her over tomorrow for game night too?!"

"Are you sure? I thought you wanted a boy's only night?"

"I just want you to be there. I don't mind I anyone else is there. I miss you big bro."

"Aww, I've missed you too kiddo." I said, pulling him into a big hug. "I'm going to go upstairs now and call Will and then get some rest."

"Okay, I'll just be here watching TV." Max shrugged.

"Hmm, okay." I got up and walked upstairs. As soon as I walked into my room I sprang on my bed. I leaned back against the pillow and pulled my phone out. I dialled Will's number and waited for him to pick up.

He finally picked up after the fourth ring.

"Hey cousin. I'm packing for my flight tomorrow. It's at 7 in the morning, I should be in New York by 4 pm or something. What's up?" Will asked.

"I told Clary how I felt. She felt the same freaking way! She's my girlfriend now!" I screamed at him, doing a little happy dance in my bed.

"I told you! Didn't I tell you? Not only am I the better looking out of us two, but I'm the cleverest!" Will laughed

"Oh shut up Will. I don' see you trying to get some girl, you don't know how hard it is or how stupid it makes you."

"I think I may have the slightest feeling. By the way, Tessa's coming with me to New York. She's never been and she wants to experience it."

"Who the hell is Tessa?"

"Oh boy, I see that I have forgotten to tell you about Tessa."

"Is she a girl you like?"

"I don't like girls, I'm Will Herondale for Gods sake. I may fancy her though..."

"Fancy is the english way of saying you like a girl! I knew it. Who is she?"

"She's this girl I met. It was 3 am and someone was knocking on my door rapidly. I opened the door and saw that it was her, crying her eyes out, asking for help. It was pouring outside and she was soaked. I let her in and gave her something to drink and wrapped a blanket around her. She's been living in my apartment for a month. Since I live alone, nobody has said anything. She told me her parents died a few weeks ago from a car crash and she has no one. She's an orphan like me. She was walking alone in the rain, all upset, and someone had followed her. She had run towards the set of apartments and landed on my door. She's been sleeping in my bed and I've slept on the couch. Ever since" Will explained.

"Holy crap! Did you tell the police or anything? Has anything happened between you two?"

"No, she didn't want to, and nope, nothing at all. It's so awkward though...all the sexual tension. Bloody hell."

"Well, that sounds very interesting. I can't wait to meet her."

"Yeah, she's very excited to finally meet some of my family. She's met Jem and they've gotten on quite well. Other than that she hasn't met anyone I know. Do you know if Magnus and Alec will be coming back to New York anytime soon?"

"I don't think so. I really want them to though. It has been a while since I've seen them last. I think I'll call them and see if they could come and visit us for a week or two while you are here."

"Excellent. I need to get back to packing now and I have to help Tessa out too. I'll see you tomorrow Jace."

"Bye William."

After that I rang Alec and he had said Magnus and him had no problem coming down for a week or two and they would try to be here for the weekend. Freaking awesome. My family was coming together once again. Thank the Angel. I really need this. God knows how badly life might get soon and I really want to be happy before things turned to shit.

…

…

* * *

...

...

**Clary**

...

Isabelle and I got changed into our gym clothes while the other girls excitedly gossiped. God knows what they were talking about. By the time Isabelle and I had gotten changed, Kaelie and her minions walked in.

"Oh hey there, Clary!" Kaelie said, smirking at me.

Oh God.

"What do you want, Kaelie?" I asked her.

"Oh nothing. Just wanted to let you know how much of an amazing kisser Sebastian is. I don't understand why you just didn't give it up to him." Kaelie giggled. "You must be upset about how quickly he moved on to me. We're dating now, you know."

I was right. He had moved onto her already. Pathetic.

"Not really Kaelie. You see I never really 'loved' Sebastian. I've always liked someone else and now I'm with that person. I moved on before I even ended it with him. Yeah, remember that? I'm the one, who broke up with him, so why would I be heartbroken? So yeah, I'm good. Don't worry."

"You've already moved on?" Kaelie asked, shocked.

"Yes." I said simply.

"Wow. Not like I believe you or anything but, still, who would want to go out with a prude like you?" Kaelie snickered.

"Watch it Kaelie." Isabelle warned.

"It was just a question Isabelle." Kaelie shrugged innocently. "What's the problem?"

"Just watch it. You don't want to piss me off. I'm not in the mood to deal with your crap." Isabelle threatened.

"Yeah okay. Whatever." Kaelie said. I could see the fright in her eyes. No matter who you were, you were scared of Isabelle Herondale. No doubt about it.

It was quiet. All the girls in the changing room were watching us.

"Yeah I move on and he did too. But, you do realize you're Sebastian's sloppy seconds? Probably something to piss me off?" I smirked. "And the only reason why I didn't have sex with Sebastian was because I didn't want to have sex with him, not because I was a prude. What's wrong with not wanting to have sex all the time anyways? It just makes you slutty. Have some self-respect. At least I don't open my legs for a guy who doesn't even want me. And FYI I think I'll have no problem having sex with the guy I'm with now, thank you very much."

"Gross. I really didn't want to hear that Clary." Isabelle whispered in my ear, making gagging noises. I snorted at her reaction.

"Great to know. And actually Clary, Sebastian likes me a lot more than he ever liked you. Trust me." Kaelie said, slitting her eyes at me.

"Oh really? Is that why he waited over a year for us to have sex even though we didn't actually ever have sex? Because he never really liked me?" I said sarcastically. "You gave it up before the first date. Don't expect it to last long 'babe'!"

"Urgh. Whatever you bitch!" She snarled at me.

"Look who's talking, you slut!" I yelled at her.

"Ladies! What the hell is going on?"

Coach Silone had walked in.

"I've been waiting for five minutes for you to come out! Instead I find you arguing like a bunch of five-year olds! Get outside now!" She furiously yelled at us. Moody cow.

We stopped arguing and everybody ran outside muttering apologies. During the entire class Kaelie had given me the 'death stare' and I had just smiled at her to piss her off even more. I had checked my phone after Gym and saw that my parents had texted me that they would be back in New York around eleven in the evening.

After that, the rest of school went boringly fine. Isabelle, Simon and I went for smoothies and ice-cream after school and hung out till seven. We messed about, told jokes and teased each other like old times.

"Okay, I've got to go guys." I told them.

They moaned at me.

"Why?" Isabelle said, giving me the puppy-dog eyes.

"Yeah why? Please stay for a little longer. Don't leave me alone _her_. She's evil." Simon pouted.

"Hey!" Isabelle whacked him across the chest with her spoon.

"See what I mean Clary? Evil!" Simon groaned.

"Sorry guys, but, I've got a date." I said, taking one last bite of my ice-cream and stepping out of the booth.

"With Jace?" Isabelle asked.

"No with the other boyfriend I have." I said sarcastically. "Of course I'm on about Jace!"

"Don't be cheeky with us Fray. We know you're darkest secrets." Simon said, doing a disturbing evil laugh.

"Okaaay…I'm going to go get ready. See you guys tomorrow!"

"Wait, is it your first date with him?" Isabelle asked.

I nodded at her.

"Do you know what you're going to wear?"

"No clue." I said, feeling nervous.

Isabelle gasped.

"Oh my God! Can I help you get ready?"

"Yeah, sure. I definitely need it!"

"So you're both just going to leave me? I'm going to die alone I swear." Simon said pitifully.

"Oh chill you baby. You'll always have your mom." Isabelle snickered.

"Whatever." Simon murmured.

"See you tomorrow Simon!" I grabbed Isabelle arm and dragged her out of the shop.

"Bye guys." Simon said waving at us and we waved back.

Once we reached my house, Isabelle had taken full control and I let her since I was so clueless. She rushed into my room and started looking through my wardrobe.

"Do you know where you're going on this date?"

"No idea. Jace just said he would collect me at nine."

"That's fine. We've got two hours to get you ready. Do you want to go take a quick shower?" Isabelle asked.

"Yeah sure." I took my robe off its hook and went into the bathroom.

I turned on the shower and quickly washed myself and my hair. I turned it off and put on my robe and headed back to my bedroom. Isabelle was looking at the shoe section of my wardrobe. I saw she had placed different outfits all over my bed.

"I'm back!" I told her.

"Awesome. Sit in the chair and I'll dry your hair for you". Isabelle said.

"Okay, let me just put some underwear on first." I said, walking into the closet and closing the door behind me.

"Choose sexy underwear!" Isabelle yelled through the door.

"Isabelle, we're not going to have sex on the first date!" I yelled back at her.

"Oh you never know! Anyways sexy underwear always makes a girl feel more confident and sexy."

She had a point there. I put on black silk underwear with lace and a matching bra. It was something I had brought unexpectedly while shopping with Isabelle. Victoria Secrets were having a sale and Isabelle convinced me to buy a lot of stuff. She said a grown girl needed sexy underwear so I must buy underwear.

"Let me see!" Isabelle yelled from behind the doors.

"Okay." I said nervously, stepping out. Isabelle had seen me dressed down to my underwear many times so I was comfortable enough to let her see me like this.

She gave me the once-over.

"Daaaaaamn." She whistled. "My brother better feel lucky."

"Thanks Isabelle." I said blushing, putting the robe back on.

"No problem. Now sit in the chair, let me dry your hair." Isabelle said.

I sat in the chair and let Isabelle do her magic. She blow-dried my hair until it was falling in semi-straight sections across my back and chest.

"Urgh, I'm so jealous of your hair! So red and thick! My hair is so plain. It's just black and straight." Isabelle complained.

"Oh shut up Isabelle. If anyone should be jealous, it should be me! Your hair stays in one place and it's straight, straight women! Mine is so difficult to control."

"But that's so boring." Isabelle frowned. "How do you want me to style your hair?"

"What do you think?"

"Well, if I were you I'd curl it in soft waves or keep it dead straight."

"Can you curl it in soft waves for me?"

"Sure Clare Bear. Let's pick an outfit out for you since your hair has dried."

I walked over to the bed and looked out the outfits she had chosen. The one that stuck out to me the most was this blouse and skirt. The outfit was one of my favorites. The blouse had a heart-shaped cut-out on the top of the chest and the buttons of the blouse ran straight through it. It was a white blouse that had small black tilted rectangles on it. It had a yellow underlining which you could notice on the edges of the sleeveless arms, the collar and the edge of the cut out heart. The buttons were also yellow. It matched with a skirt the color of dark grey steel and it flared out, but, it also stuck to my skin very nicely. It was casual yet sexy. Not too fancy for a walk in the park and not too casual for dinner at a fancy restaurant. Perfect for a first date.

"This one, definitely." I said, pointing to the outfit.

"I would have gone with that one too. Nice choice." Isabelle agreed.

I quickly grabbed the outfit and slipped it on. I put on shorts underneath the skirt though, just in case. I didn't want my skirt flying up to reveal my underwear, which would be embarrassing. I tied up all the buttons and tucked the shirt in to the skirt.

"How do I look?" I asked her.

"Damn. I want that outfit now. I don't know which ones better, you in your underwear or you in that! You look incredible! If that doesn't turn Jace on, God knows what will." Isabelle said. "Wait, eew no! That's my brother!"

I threw my head back and laughed at her.

"Kind of awkward isn't it?" I asked.

"A bit, yeah." She said, joining her fingers together to make a small amount of space. "Let me finish doing your hair now."

I sat back in the chair and she started brushing through my hair and curling it. By the end of it, my hair was curled in soft waves across my breasts and my back. It looked really good.

"Thanks Izzy, my hair looks awesome!"

"No problem." She grinned at me. "Now make up time!"

"Aww man." I said, frowning.

"Chill, I won't overdo it. Just some eyeliner and lipstick should do the trick." Isabelle said, slapping her lips together. She picked up the eyeliner of the dressing table and I closed my eyes. She delicately placed the eyeliner on my top lid and flicked it at the end on both eyes. She then picked up the lipstick and I parted my lips as she placed the bright red lipstick on.

She passed me a pair of simple ballet flats that I had in my closet and I slipped into them.

"There. You look perfect. Go have a look in the mirror." Isabelle said.

I turned around to look at the mirror and saw what she actually said, I felt was true. I did look good. The lipstick and eyeliner stood out but wasn't overdone. The outfit was very flattering against my body.

"Thank you Iz! I look incredible!" I hugged her.

"No problem. It's all you babe. I just showed you how to work it." Isabelle shrugged, returning the hug. "Okay. It's quarter to nine now, Jace will be here any minute. I'll get out of here."

"What if he doesn't come or he forgot?" I bit my lip nervously.

"Well I'm on my way home, so if I see him lounging about, I'll kick his ass." Isabelle said.

"Thanks." I said, smiling meekly. "Once again, thank you Iz!"

"No problem! Just text me how the date goes after? I want to know if I'll have to kick his ass or not." Isabelle asked.

"Sure!" I said.

"See you!" She said, as she stepped out the front door. "Love you Clare Bear."

"Love you too Izzy Wizzy."

Just fifteen more minutes and he should be here.

Just fifteen more minutes.

…

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**Jace**

...

I'm five minutes early.

I parked my car down the road and walked out, slowly heading for Clary's house. I hope she doesn't think I'm overeager about this date. I have it perfectly planned out. It's not too much or too fancy. I think it's just about right for a first date. Well, I hope. I finally reached the door to Clary's house and knocked on the door.

After a few seconds the door opened and holy shit– what I saw. Fuck. Clary had a blouse on which showed a crazy, but, not too crazy amount of creamy soft skin. She was wearing a skirt that went mid-thigh and her legs were bare. She had a small purse hanging from her shoulder. She looked beautiful. Crazy beautiful. I took a visible deep intake of breath and shook my head like this was crazy. It was. I still couldn't believe this was happening.

"Wow…you look, wow. Clary, you look beautiful." I said, with much difficulty.

"Thank you." She said, blushing. "You don't look so bad yourself."

I was wearing a dark blue sweater with my leather jacket and faded denim jeans. I had gotten Max to sniff me before I left to make sure my cologne spelt nice and he had said I was good to go.

"Thanks lovely. You ready to go?" I asked her.

"Sure. Where are we going?" She asked, closing the front door behind her and locking it.

I offered her my arm and she took it, smiling sheepishly.

"I can't tell you that. You'll find out when we get there." I winked at her.

"Aww. That's not fair." She pouted.

"You'll find out in a while." told her.

We walked up to my car and I opened the door for her. She sat inside and I closed it behind her. I went to the driver's side, slid in and started up the car.

During the drive I asked her about how her school went and she told me about Kaelie and her arguing. It was true that Kaelie and Sebastian were dating. I didn't understand why Kaelie had to be such a horrid bitch though. In Freshman year, she tried to go after me, but, she couldn't have me. Then she tried to go after Jonathan, but, she couldn't have him either. Ever since then she's always gone after guys for sex and who were just getting out of relationships, because she knew they would want a girl like her at this time. I'm not surprised by her behaviour or Sebastian's. If I had lost a girl like Clary, I would go pretty crazy too.

She also told me about Isabelle and Simon's reaction. It made me laugh. I knew when I got home I would have to deal with intense questioning by Isabelle. It was great to see how happy this made her. Seeing her smile so freely, to see the glow on her skin and her blushing cheeks, all because of me. Because of _us_. I played with her hand when we hit a red light and we often glanced over at each other, smiling, on the way there.

We finally got there after half an hour. It was a deserted grassy meadow. It was also one of the places I liked to come when I felt stressed out and wanted to be alone. It was slightly out of the city. The sky was clear and the stars were out in their hundreds. It was an army of stars were coming to attack the sky. The full moon was out, shining brightly in the sky. There were large trees in the far distance. There was also a lake with a waterfall attached to it. It was an incredible place. I doubted anybody had been here before except me since it was so far out in the distance. I had never shown anybody this place before either. The plan for our date was to have a midnight picnic and to go on a romantic stroll. And, maybe even visit the waterfall. I had a picnic basket and blanket in the back of my car. I also had a iPod with a speaker dock for music. I parked the car on the side of the road and pulled the keys out. I quickly stepped out the car and opened Clary's door for her. I took her hand and helped her get out of the car gracefully.

"So…what do you think? I know it's no five-star restaurant, but I thought this would be better than that. This is somewhere special to me." I said nervously.

She didn't say anything. She just stared out into the scenery for a few minutes. Her skirt swayed slowly in the soft breeze.

"Wow. This is way better than any five-star restaurant. This is incredible!" Clary said, she looked from the meadow to me. "Wow Jace. This place is beautiful."

"I'm glad you like it so much. It's one of my favorite places in the world. I come here most times when I'm upset. I've never brought anyone here before."

"Never?"

"Nope. You are the first person I've brought here."

"Well, wow, thanks. That means a lot to me." She said. "What are we going to do here?"

"Well, I've got a picnic blanket and basket in the car. I've also got an iPod with a speaker dock for entertainment. There's also a waterfall here that I want to show you. So how about it Clary Fray, want to have a midnight picnic with me? Even though its only half past nine?"

She threw her head back and laughed. "Of course. It would be my pleasure Jace Herondale."

I grabbed the basket and blanket and Clary grabbed the iPod and speakers from the back of my car. I held her hand as I walked us through the meadow to find the place we would sit. After five minutes I found the spot I was looking for. It was directly under the moon and stars. The grass was cut short and it was right in the middle of the meadow. I loosely laid down the blanket and put the picnic blanket on top.

"Wow, it's so amazing here. How did you find this place?" Clary asked.

"It was actually random. It was last year. It was late at night and I was feeling down so I went for a walk. After hours of walking I came across this place. I loved it instantly. It stayed the entire night, just lying under the stars and thinking about stuff. Ever since then it's always been a place I've come to relax. Over the course of the year I've found new things about this place though. Like the waterfall. I'd love to show you."

"I'd like that." She smiled at me.

I turned on the iPod and placed it into the speakers. Music softly echoed in the silence. Over the next hour Clary and I learnt each other's likes and dislikes. We talked about the most random things, making us burst out in laughter. Her favorite color was green. Her favorite band was Paramore. Her favorite activity was drawing. She also had a dimple on the left side of her cheek. I had never noticed. Weird. It only came out when she was seriously smiling of laughing hard though. We ate sandwiches and drank from the juice boxes and coke cans while we talked. We snacked on the crisps and chocolate bars. After a while we put all the waste back in the basket and pushed it to the side. We then lied down on the blanket side by side to each other. We painted pictures in the sky, making our own constellations. It was hilarious. We made a monkey, a spoon, the 'Superman' sign and loads more.

We leaned in closer to each other as the wind got stronger.

"Are you cold?" I asked her.

"A bit." She whispered.

"Here, take my jacket." I shrugged my jacket off and put it on Clary. She looked adorable in my jacket which was way too big for her.

"Thanks." She whispered, snuggling her neck into my collarbone.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer.

"Hmm. You do look amazing you know that right?" I asked her.

"I think I look alright, but thank you." She said, smiling.

"You think you look alright? Damn girl we need to change the mirrors in your house."

She laughed shyly. "I think I'll just use you as my mirror from now on."

"Yeah sure. You ever want my opinion on clothes just ask. I specialize in underwear by the way."

"Jace!" She yelled, giggling and slapping my shoulder.

"I'm only kidding." I said, winking at her. "Well half kidding anyways."

"Idiot." She muttered, shaking her head slightly, but, she snuggled up closer to me anyways and I held her tighter.

After a while of basking in each other's warmth. we could hear the crickets chirping in the background and we decided to chase them down in the meadow but we finding them. While Clary was searching through the meadow I stayed silent and slowly moved backwards, until I disappeared into the shadows of the trees. After a few minutes Clary had realised I had gone missing and started panicking. I could her the frantic tone in her voice. I jumped out from behind her and scared the crap out of her. She had screamed so loud that it echoed for ages. I laughed so much I was rolling in the grass and Clary kept slapping my chest repeatedly, telling me to shut up. She had gone so red and embarrassed. I pulled her in for a hug to make her feel better though.

"I'm sorry." I apologized.

"Whatever." Clary grumbled.

"I'm sorry!" I tried so bad not to laugh.

"You're trying not to laugh now. I'm not stupid." Clary said, crossing her arms.

I couldn't help it, I burst out into laughter and she huffed, exasperated.

"See. I told you!" Clary said, in an annoyed tone, but I could see the small smile raising at the corner of her shiny red lips and could tell she wanted to laugh. I found it so cute that I kissed the raising corner and she smiled at me shyly.

"Okay, I apologize deeply. Now do you want to go to the waterfall?" I asked her.

She nodded her head enthusiastically.

I grabbed her hand and walked us towards the waterfall. I didn't have to worry about leaving my iPod behind because nobody would be here. The waterfall was near the edge of the meadow where it led to a massive lake. It took us about ten minutes to walk there, that's how huge the place was. It was on a small mountain that we had to climb. It took us a while since Clary needed help but I didn't mind. Once we got to the top and I saw her expression it was worth it. It reminded me of the first time I had been here. I had the same expression when I first came here. From the top of the waterfall you could see everything. All the trees, grass, rose bushes and much more.

"Jace, this is incredible." Clary said, astonished. "I've never seen a place like this before. Thank you for bringing me here."

"No problem." I chuckled. "I'm glad you like it here."

"I love it!" Clary said excitedly. "I want to come back here again."

"We will, don't worry about that Clary." I said softly.

We sat on the top of the waterfall for a while, silently sitting side by side, but it wasn't awkward. It was a nice comfortable silence. She held onto my hand and I played with her delicate small fingers. We watched the moonshine reflect off the lake water and how the wind made ripples in the lake water creating glittery water. The sound of the water falling into the lake was so relaxing. It made me sleepy. It was amazing. I loved that bringing Clary here made me feel like I had come here for the first time again. It was nice seeing someone experience what I felt from being here. How calm, relaxing and in awe it made you feel. After a while we both started feeling stiff so we headed back towards the blanket. When I checked the iPod It was past midnight when I checked the time so we decided to head back.

"I promise I'll bring you back here another day and show you more of this place."

"I'd love that."

When we reached the car I opened the car door for her and she sat in. I got into the driver's and drove us home. On the way, Clary had dozed off on my shoulder while playing with my hair. When I finally reached Clary's house I shook her carefully to wake her up.

"Where are we?" She asked, rubbing her eyes.

"We're outside of your house Clary. We just got here."

"Oh okay. I see. Let me get out."

"Just wait there."

I got out the car and jogged around the car to open her door.

"Such a gentleman." She said, while getting out of the car. She yawned in my face as I closed the door behind her.

"And you, such a woman." I said, raising an eyebrow.

She laughed. "I'll probably be really embarrassed about that tomorrow, but, not I'm just too tired to care."

"It's okay. I will remind you of it though. Just to torture you."

"My boyfriend's an evil boyfriend isn't he?"

"Hmm, yes."

"As long as he's my boyfriend."

"As long as you want me Clare Bear."

"Aww. I like the way that sounds out of your mouth. Claaaaaare Beaaaaar." She dragged out.

"I'm glad you like it." I said, chuckling.

I walked her to her front door.

"This was the perfect first date you know? Best date I've ever been on, honestly. I loved it all. Thank you. I hoped it was as good as it was for you as it was for me." She said, turning to me.

"It's okay, I'm just glad you enjoyed it so much. And yes it was just as good. Best date ever." I said. "And it's about to get better."

I stepped forward and placed my hands on her hips. I pulled her against my chest and she inhaled a deep breath.

"Hey there." I murmured.

"Hey there yourself." She murmured back.

"I'm going to kiss you now. I hope that's not a problem." I said, moving a strand of hair from her face and pushing it behind her ear.

"No, not at all." She whispered. "Kiss me."

She wrapped her hands around my neck and I cupped her face with one hand . My other hand gripped her waist and pulled her closer. Her nose bumped against mine and I could feel her breath warm against my mouth. A rush of heat started in my chest and slowly spread throughout my body, quickly warming me up. I could feel her eyes watching me. From my eyes to my lips. I watched the slight twitch of her lip to the way her chest moved underneath me. I could see the naked smooth skin rising and falling. My nose filled with the sweet scent of her. I pressed my lips against her soft red ones. It was a smooth kiss but it slowly became more intense as our lips opened up to each other and our kiss became deeper. Her breathing was deep and loud in my ear. She moaned and so, I did too. After a few minutes we slowly split apart. Her lips were swollen and they were barely red anymore.

"Goodnight Clary. I'll see you tomorrow at school." I whispered against her forehead.

"I can't wait. Goodnight Jace."

I watched her go inside and lock her front door. I then walked back to my car and drove home. I bet Isabelle would be drilling me for information as soon as I got home.

Oh well.

Tonight was an incredible first date.

...

...

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**I should really go to sleep now. I'm sorry if there are any mistakes in this chapter, its 4 am and I have school in 3 hours :'( Once again I am so sorry about being late with this chapter! But it is SO long! Over 10,000 words! I hope it's worth it ;( I hope you liked this chapter and review and follow and favourite and that stuff! And omg Will and Tessa, Clary's parents and Magnus and Alec will be joining us soon ;) and it's back to school for Jace in the next chapter! :0 Review for the next chapter! I know Clary's outfit was kind of weirdly described, so here's a link if you want to see the full outfit: ** .

agacistore.( c o m )(slash) product . aspx ? id=1240846 **(just remove the spaces + brackets guys)**

**Love you all! xxx **


	16. Finding Comfort in Your Hands

**Thank you for you reviews, favourites and follows :)**

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**I don't own anything not the characters or the songs or anything remotely similar the idea is just mine.**

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**Chapter Songs:**

**The Script – For the First Time **

**Paramore - Ignorance**

**Bruno Mars – Count On Me**

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**Jace**

…

**finding comfort in your hands.**

**...**

* * *

…

…

When I got home Max and Isabelle were watching TV.

"Erm, where do you think you're going?" Dammit, I was hoping I would be able to avoid them so I wouldn't have to deal with their questioning.

"Don't think I wouldn't notice you." Isabelle said.

"Yeah, tell us how your date went, Jace!" Max said excitedly.

"Why are you both even awake? Especially you Max! You've both got school tomorrow!"

"Erm excuse you mister you have school tomorrow too." Isabelle lectured.

"I had a perfectly good excuse as to why I was out." I said. "Max, you should get to bed."

"But I want to know what happened!" Max frowned.

"Okay fine. I'll tell, but, then you have to go to bed, okay?" I offered him.

"Yay! Fine! Tell us!"

"I took her out to this place I know; it's deserted but really cool. We had a bit of a midnight picnic and we had a lot of fun. It was great. We talked and got to know each other more. It was an awesome night. Okay, I'm done. Get to bed."

"That's all we get to know? You were gone for hours!' Isabelle moaned.

"You'll probably hear it in excruciating detail from Clary tomorrow anyway, so don't complain!"

"Whatever." Isabelle huffed.

"What about me?" Max cried.

"Tomorrow. I'm too tired right now kiddo."

"Fine."

"You two better get to bed now."

They mumbled an okay at me and I headed upstairs to my bedroom. I brushed my teeth and washed my face in the bathroom. I put on a pair of long pyjamas and jumped into bed. I fell asleep dreaming of red hair and green eyes against the dark midnight sky, bright stars and starry eyes.

...

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* * *

...

...

I woke up that morning with a text from Clary.

_**Meet me in the school car park; want to see you before school :) x ~ Clary**_

That little 'x' made my heart embarrassingly flutter a bit. She wanted to see me before school. Does that mean she wanted the school to know about our friendship or that we are boyfriend and girlfriend, because if she wants to see me before school, people are obviously going to be around to see us?...

God knows.

_**Okay … x ~ Jace**_

I got ready for school and headed downstairs for some breakfast. I poured myself in some cereal and waited for Isabelle to come down so I could drive us to school.

"I am soo tired." Isabelle grumbled.

"Maybe you shouldn't have stayed up so late."

"Whatever. You went to bed just as late as I did."

"I'm not tired though, I can handle it unlike some people."

"Whatever."

"Yeah whatever to you too. Now grab something to eat and let's go."

"Why do you want to get to school so early? You hate school." Isabelle raised an eyebrow at me.

"I just don't want to be late. It's my first day back after my suspension; I don't want to be in any more trouble than I have to,"

"Yeah sure." Isabelle snorted.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"Oh nothing. Don't you worry." Isabelle took a bite out of her toast and slipped her school bag on her shoulder. "Let's go to school then, Lover boy."

"Oh shut up." I rolled my eyes at her.

"Oh c'mon. We know why you really want to get to school early. It begins with a 'C' and rhymes with hairy." Isabelle giggled.

"Shut up. But seriously, Hairy Clary? Oh God she's going to kill us for that one." I burst out laughing.

"Yeah I know. Her name also rhymes with Mary. Virgin Mary. Virgin Clary. Ahaha!" Isabelle toppled over in laughter.

I wiped a tear away from my eye from laughing so hard.

"Oh man, Virgin Clary." I stopped laughing. "Hey, don't call my girlfriend that."

"She was my best friend way before she was your girlfriend, so I'll call her whatever I want." Isabelle said, skipping outside. Oh there was no controlling that girl.

I slung my backpack over my shoulder and grabbed the car keys.

We got to school in record time. Seven minutes and forty-two seconds. Not that I was counting the seconds or anything. That's _so _lame. Great, I was back at school. I wonder if anything new had happened in the few days I was gone. Isabelle stepped out the car and walked over to Simon who was parked across us, standing by his truck. I pulled the keys out the car, stepped out and locked it. From the corner of my eye I saw Clary walking up to me. Ok, don't be nervous.

"Hey you." Clary smiled at me.

"Hey. Did you get to sleep well?" I asked her.

"Hmm. It could have gone a bit better though." Clary bit her lip.

"Oh really? How's that?" I raised my eyebrow at her.

"Oh you know, a few tweaks here and there, but overall it was okay." She teased.

"Just okay? We'll have to bump that up to an excellent later on." She giggled. I felt normal for first time in a long time. Flirting with a girl in the school car park was a normal teenage thing to do and I had been missing out. I could see people watching me and Clary conversing and I could see their lips moving, their eyes judging us already. God knows what rumours would be spreading by the time it was first period. I bet people were whispering things like 'what is she doing with him?' 'Why is she speaking to him?' 'Is she stupid?' but Clary didn't seem to care whether people were looking at us. I didn't even think she noticed that people were so blatantly watching us as they walked past. I didn't want her to realise so I started talking about something, but, eventually I stopped talking when I realised she wasn't paying attention properly. She had noticed the people whispered and staring.

"Just ignore them Clary. Whoever's staring at us is an idiot. What is so unusual about a boy and a girl talking? Just because it's you and me? If it was anyone else they wouldn't even notice. It's pathetic." I glared at the people who were watching us. They quickly turned away when they noticed me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to tune you out." She blushed. "It's just hard not to notice all the people staring at us. God knows what people will be saying about us."

"So? We are dating now Clary. You said I didn't want to hide us, but you can change your mind right now if you want, it'll be the last chance to change your mind though. They also know it's my first day back from suspension, so they're probably wondering what's going to happen with me, but who cares? So c'mon, let's show these idiots who we really are to each other." I reached out my hand for her to hold.

"Are you sure? I just don't want people saying hurtful things to you… you don't deserve it." She rubbed the back of her neck nervously.

"Take my hand Clary. I'm completely used to people saying shit behind my back. It's you I'm more worried about. It seems like you're more embarrassed of being seen by me than whatever your reason to hide this relationship is." I teased, but really I felt a bit insecure. What if she changed her mind?

"God no! Why would I be embarrassed over you? It's nothing like that I swear!" she cried.

"I know, I'm only kidding." I smiled at her. "Take my hand."

She grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers together. I held on tightly, sending her a smile. A real one.

"Here goes nothing." she whispered.

I laughed nervously for her. I wasn't looking forward to what people were going to say about her, I wasn't really worried about myself. I was used to people saying shit about me behind my back, but, I knew Clary wasn't. She was used to people not even noticing her before she got popular, and after, she was used to people only being nice to her and knowing who she was for the nice popular person she was. I knew she had been surprised at peoples actions and reactions to what had been happening lately and I knew that this–being in a relationship with _me–_was going to bring a lot of reactions out of people towards me–towards Clary–that I knew she wouldn't be expecting. I just hoped she could handle it, and well if she couldn't...I would be right there to help her out.

We walked into school and headed toward our lockers.

"So what were you saying when I was rudely not paying attention? Sorry about that again." Clary said, obviously trying to distract herself from the people staring and whispering.

"It's okay." I smiled softly at me. "I was saying even though I haven't been getting my full sleep these past few days, the reason I've been kept up is pretty great. Especially last night. It was incredible."

I could hear them already. The gossips were whispering. They worked fast.

"Holy shit they're holding hands! What the fuck?" One of them said.

"Is she crazy?" Another one.

"Did he blackmail her or something?" I clenched my fist, trying hard to ignore them.

"I know she just broke up with Sebastian, but would she really go so low?" Another bitch.

"Yesterday in the cafeteria she said that they were just friends? Now they're holding hands, what friends do that?" We do, that's who. Why do people have to be such nosy assholes.

I ignored them and looked back at Clary. She was looking at the ground. She was trying to ignore them and not look . She wasn't doing a great job of it. "Yeah I know the feeling. The past few nights sleep haven't come easy, but it was worth it." she said.

"I'm glad." I said. I could tell she wasn't even concentrating. I know how stressing it can be for the first time when people stare at you and whisper bullshit.

"Just ignore them okay? I was expecting this. Please don't let this upset you." I gripped her hand tighter. If I knew this shit was going to upset her I would have tried harder to convince her we should keep our relationship quiet. "I'm used to this shit. I just feel uncomfortable about the stuff they're going to say about you, about us, but we can't stop them from saying what they want. Its free speech unfortunately. The only thing we can do is ignore them Clary. Ignore them."

"Jace, I'm trying to focus on my own happiness. I'm tired of making everyone else happy. I want to be happy." She fidgeted with her fingers. "But, I've just never had to deal with this. I don't know how to react towards this."

"Okay, let me ask you this question: do I make you happy?"

"So very much." I stopped us in the middle of the hallway to kiss her on the nose, which resulted in more whispering and hushed tones. Unsurprisingly, no one had bothered to actually say anything to our faces. Only the likes of Sebastian and Kaelie would bother to do that, for their daily intake of attention needed for their survival.

Clary giggled.

"So you don't need to worry about what anyone else says. Do what makes you happy. Even if that means letting go of my hand and walking away. If nobody whispering about us makes you happier, than walk away. I just want you to do whatever makes you happy, don't worry about what anyone else has to say. Not even me."

"But that wouldn't make me happy. You're what makes me happy."

"Well you've got me. So there's nothing to worry about if you are happy. Okay?" I grinned at her.

"Okay."

We finally reached our lockers. My locker was opposite hers on the other side of the hall. I pulled out the books I would need and walked across to her locker.

"C'mon Hairy Clary, let's get to class." I tested out the joke nickname, as the bell rang above us.

"What did you call me?" Clary wrinkled her nose.

"I didn't come up with it, Isabelle did." I said, defending myself, just in case.

"Hairy Clary? I'm not hairy." She frowned.

"Oh I know that," I smirked.

"Whatever." She pushed me gently, her cheeks turned pink. "Don't call me that in public, okay? I don't want it catching! That is a really ugly nick name."

I laughed at her cuteness. "Okay. Don't worry about me, it's Isabelle you need to worry about." I warned her.

"Great." Clary mumbled. "I won't be able to stop her from calling me that."

"Yeah, good luck with that!" I grinned.

We walked into our chemistry class and took our assigned seats. I sat next to a girl named Seelie. She was a bitch. Everybody loved her but I couldn't understand why. She was awful. She used boys and bitched about them but they fell onto their knees for her, but, she was a loner of some sort. She had no friends who were girls. She walked alone but always had a trail of boys behind her, but, whatever. She would flirt with me but I tried hard to ignore her. Nobody cared that she flirted me, since she flirted with everyone. No one would bother hating her. She was one of the only people who bothered trying to flirt with me, but, I knew she just wanted to sleep with me, she didn't actually like me. I don't think she really liked anybody. I looked over at Clary who had her seat assigned next to Gabriel Lightwood. I didn't like that guy. He was too cocky for his own good and known for being a player.

He was smirked and she had an annoyed look on her face. She looked over at me and we met eyes. She sent me a quick small smile and then looked back down, opening her books.

"Good morning students. I hope you looked over the chapters we studied yesterday, because, guess what? That's right, surprise pop quiz!" Mrs. Branwell said, causing a groan from the entire class to erupt. "Now, now children, life is full of surprises. This is just another one. Deal with it."

The class started muttering stuff, some students tried to quickly flick through their books to pick up on some small things before Mrs. Branwell gave them their test paper. I, however, was lost. Since I hadn't been here for the past few days I was kind of lost on what was going on. Dammit I hated being behind, another reason to hate Sebastian. Oh God, I forgot. I still have to deal with Sebastian, after beating the crap out of me the other day; I needed to get my revenge however I could get it. I couldn't get into another fight with him though. It would damage me permanently. I needed to take it easy since my doctor said I needed to be resting. I needed to make sure I stayed out of trouble. I knew that you could still see the bruises across my eye and the swelling on my lip, but, even that wasn't noticeable. It was all noticeable on the rest of my body though. My chest and legs were still covered in purple marks. The bruising killed like hell. I was dealing with it though.

"Jace Herondale, what are we going to do with you, huh?" Mrs. Branwell said when she reached our table. "Maybe next time you should stay out of trouble so you won't be so behind. You'll have to go revise the chapters you missed out on at home and then do the pop quiz as homework. You can start with the catching up now while the rest of the class does the pop quiz. Chapters 7, 8 and 9."

She walked towards her desk. "Okay class, you've got the whole lesson to complete this test. Good luck."

I started reading the book, not really absorbing anything though. Seelie sat next to me, quietly doing her work. She hadn't bothered me yet. Maybe she had heard the rumour about me and Clary. I hope she had, maybe then she would stop with her flirting.

I looked back at Clary and saw that she was concentrating on her work, while that jackass Gabriel still had that smirk on. Was it permanently etched in his face? I never liked him sitting next to Clary, I knew he harassed and annoyed her. He looked up at me–as if he knew I was watching–and raised his eyebrow at me. He pointed a finger at Clary, who had her head down and then made a heart shape with his hands and mouthed a mocking 'aww' at me. The bastard. I inhaled a deep breath through my nose and tried not to show him it pissed me off. I turned back around and ignored him. Half an hour later, the class was still silent, doing their exam and I was getting very sleepy. I felt something hit my head and a paper ball landed in my lap. I turned around and saw Gabriel leaning over his desk, eyeing the paper ball, raising his eyebrow. It was from him. I looked up from my book to Mrs. Branwell and she was busy grading some papers. I unrolled the paper and peaked at what it said.

_**You know how to pick them Jace. I gotta give you props for that, but, I hope you know Clary won't be yours for long, not if I have anything to do with it ;) oh man, the things I would do to her.**_

I clenched my fists and tried really hard not to get up and go over there and kick his ass. The actual fucking nerve this guy had, the sick fuck, but, I knew what he was doing. He was trying to get me all riled up. He was probably trying to get me suspended again. That's what most guys tried to do. I couldn't fight him because my body was not ready for that. This guy was an idiot if he thought that he could 'get' Clary. Clary has liked me for ages. She wouldn't go for someone like him anyway, he's an asshole, but, then again she sees the good in everyone. She's just that awesome. I grabbed my pen and wrote a message back.

_**I dare you to try. Go on. **_

I turned around and threw it back at him. I watched him unfold the message and read it. He smirked annoyingly at me and nodded his head as if to say '_**challenge accepted.'**_

"Is there a problem, boys?" Mrs. Branwell said, noticing our stare down. It caused everyone to raise their heads towards us. Including Clary's. _Greaaat._

"There is no problem, Miss." Gabriel said.

"Are you sure? Would you mind if I read that note then you and Jace are passing around?" Mrs. Branwell asked.

Crap. Mrs. Branwell was famous for being kind hearted but tough. She was also known for not tolerating notes and reading them out loud in class.

"What note?" Gabriel said, feigning innocence.

"The one scrunched up in your hand Gabriel. Hand it over." Mrs. Branwell walked over to his table, holding out her hand. She looked at him expectantly.

I looked over at Clary who was looking back and forth from me to Gabriel. She looked confused. If only she knew what that asshole had said.

Gabriel passed it over and slumped back in his seat. I cringed inwardly as I and the rest of the class waited for her to read the note allowed. This was the kind of entertainment people lived for when they had boring classes like chemistry.

She opened the paper and skimmed over it, but, surprisingly she didn't read it out loud. She looked up at Gabriel.

"Gabriel, detention with me tonight after school for passing notes. Don't do it again." She warned.

"Just me?! What about him?" Gabriel cried.

"He did nothing wrong."

"He was passing notes too!"

"My class, my rules, my choice. I decide what was wrong or right. Don't make me make it a longer detention." She threatened. "Carry on with your test papers."

Gabriel frowned and went back to doing his paper, as did the rest of the class.

Mrs. Branwell walked past my table and smiled at me empathetically.

I gave her a small smile to show my gratitude and carried on reading through the chapters and making notes. After a while the bell rang and the class departed. Clary caught up with me as we walked out of class.

"What was that about? With Gabriel?" she asked.

"He said some things about you which I didn't like in that note." I said, trying not to get angry all over again.

"Oh. Do I want to know?" Clary frowned.

"No you don't. It pissed me off." I growled.

"Hey, don't get worked up over it, remember what you said?"

"Yeah I know. It's just the fact they're saying stuff about _you_. I don't like it."

"Well, we just have to deal with it don't we? I didn't like having to hear people saying things about you over the years, but I had to deal with it too."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah, of course. I didn't like it." She frowned.

"Oh, I never knew." I said, surprised.

"Of course you didn't." Clary said, quickly kissing my cheek.

After that, we walked separately to our different classes. Until lunch, the day passed on fine. I never had any other classes with Clary. People whispered about me as usual when they thought I wasn't listening, but I was used to that. They couldn't say anything that could hurt me though, unless it about Clary, that would just piss me off. I reached the lunch room after my classes, and saw Clary grabbing lunch with Isabelle and Simon. She saw me and waved me over to them.

"What's up?" I asked when I reached her. "Anything exciting happen in your classes?"

"Oh nothing much. You want to grab some lunch?"

"I've got a chocolate bar and a bag of chips in my backpack. I'm covered for food."

"Okay Jacey Wacey. Mind grabbing an empty table?"

"Jacey Wacey? of all names–Jacey Wacey–Seriously?" I asked incredulously.

"Yeah, why not? You called me Hairy Clary." She huffed.

"Oh my God, we have been calling her that all day! It's so funny!" Isabelle laughed, grabbing some food from the counter.

"I know right? It's my new favourite nickname." Simon said, beside her.

"Shut up guys." Clary blushed. "Go grab a table, now!" She whined.

"Okay, Miss Fray." I laughed at her and headed towards an empty table, but, before I could take my seat, someone yelled out my name from across the room. I looked up and saw Sebastian walking over to me. I also saw Clary, Isabelle and Simon turn towards the sound of Sebastian's voice and Clary's eyes went wide, worriedly. I had to deal with Sebastian now. After bothering Clary, after beating the crap out of me, what more could he say?

The lunch room was now silent, obviously. People had nothing better to do than watch other people's dramas.

"Jace. I see you're back at school."

"No shit Sebastian. Want to beat me up some more? Maybe on your own this time instead of having other people do it?"

"Shut up Jace. Just shut the fuck up. We'll talk about that another day. Right now I want to talk about the disturbing news I heard this morning." He laughed almost manically, then turned to towards Clary. "Is it true? Are you actually dating _this_?" He pointed back at me. Clary looked like a deer caught in headlights. People were watching and she didn't know what to do or say. I don't blame her. Sebasshole put her in the spotlight like this.

Everyone started whispering. I really didn't want this to turn ugly for Clary's sake.

"Hey, shut up! It's none of your damn business." I yelled at him.

He laughed in disbelief. 'It's true. Oh my fucking life, it is true. Him? Out of everyone you could have picked, you picked him?! I'm struggling to understand why. Do you like psychopaths? He'll kill you in your fricken sleep!"

I grinded my teeth and tried really hard not to punch this dumbass. Why did he even care so much?

Kaelie walked up beside him and softly touched his arm. "Babe, why do you even care? Forget about those two losers, they don't deserve anything better than each other, they're missing out on everything they could have had. C'mon, let's not waste time over them."

"No, get off me Kaelie!" Sebastian shoved her off and stalked towards Clary. Aw hell no this wasn't happening. I quickly blocked him and pushed him away.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I growled at him.

"Whatever the fuck I want to do." He growled back.

"Walk away Sebastian, before you do something you regret and I have to kick your ass. It's going to hurt like hell having to do it all over again but I will if I have to."

"Like you scare me, you little bitch." Sebastian pushed me.

"Oh really? Is that why you needed a bunch of people to beat the crap into me instead of doing it yourself?" I yelled at him, pushing him back.

"Hey! Guys stop it! Please!" Clary said, coming in between us.

Sebastian surprisingly stepped away and looked at Clary in disbelief and disgust.

"Why him though? Look at what he's done. He killed Jonathan, you let him come between us!" He yelled.

"You don't know him! You don't know what he's like with me! He's much better than you ever were with me! He didn't ruin us, you did! You did that night and you know it! Don't you dare blame anyone else for your actions! That's not fair! It was your mistake, you deal with it now!" Clary's chest rose and fell with anger, her cheeks were bright red and her eyes were shining.

"Hey that's enough!" Mr. Morgenstern said, walking through the lunch doors, catching the last few minutes of this argument. "All of you! Stop arguing over your stupid stuff! Get back to eating. Sit back down!"

The silence dissolved and everybody started talking again and eating like nothing happened. Sebastian couldn't say or do anything while Mr. Morgenstern was here, so he just sent me death glares across the tables. Clary, Isabelle and Simon took a seat on table and started eating. Clary looked exhausted while Simon and Isabelle just looked awkward.

"Well I guess the bats out of the cage, huh." Isabelle said. "You know, about you two..."

"Yeah I guess." I said, flatly.

"Hmm." Clary agreed, barely, nudging her head up to acknowledge the fact she even heard Isabelle.

Simon coughed, making the silence even more obvious.

"Hey, I'm sorry." I said softly to Clary. She closed her eyes and sighed sadly.

"I just hate him so much you know? Don't apologise. This wasn't your fault." Oh, she wasn't angry at me, she was angry at him.

"I'll deal with him later, okay?" I promised her.

"You sure? I don't want you to get hurt again, you should just stay away from him."

"Don't worry, he won't hurt me, he won't even touch me. I'll make sure of it."

"Okay." Clary said, but she sure sounded like she didn't believe it. I didn't blame her.

After that the lunch room went back to normal as Mr. Morgenstern carefully observed us. He walked over to our table.

"Jace, it's nice to see you back in school. Let's not have anymore troubles now?" He said, looking over at Sebastian's table then back at me. "Okay?"

"Sure sir. I'll try my best."

"Well try harder than the best if you possibly can." Mr. Morgenstern said, all fed up as he walked away.

"You're going to give him a stroke one day Jace." Simon said.

"Eh they can't blame it on me, look at how old he is, he's bound to have one someday." They all started laughing and the tension, which I had no idea why it was there, was gone. Isabelle and Simon started cracking jokes and making me and Clary laugh. They teased her and me and kept calling Clary 'Hairy Clary' and Clary retorted to calling her 'Sissy Izzy' but they just called Simon 'Weasel Boy' which I had to say made me laugh.

After lunch we all went to our different classes. Lucky for me I wasn't bothered in any of my other classes. I didn't share them with Clary or anyone that pissed me off. The last bell of the day rang and I headed outside. I got a text from Clary saying she was going to go hangout at Simon's house with Isabelle after school. She asked if I wanted to come along but I had to head to the airport. I was finally going to see Will after so long! I told her to have a good time and she told me to say that her and Isabelle said hi to Will and that they would see him later tonight.

I got into the car and headed for the airport. I was excited to see my cousin Will after so long. Would everything still be the same or would he look at me differently? God I hoped I was still the same person to him, it would suck if I wasn't. I could easily read Will so I would know whether or not he was acting different towards me. Will had texted me on my way there that his plane had landed. I couldn't wait to hear his cocky annoying british voice again. I wondered if he was the same person aswell. Could a person change a lot in two years? Well of course they could, look at me for instance. I also wondered about this Tessa chick. She had come into my cousin's life while she had nothing. Was she using him by any chance? God I hope not. He seemed to like her, a girl for the first time... Well I hope she wasn't using him. I would be able to tell though, during her stay here, so I guess I could figure it out. I wondered what she was like. I hoped she was a nice girl. I'd hate to not like the girl that Will liked, especially if she would be around for a while. I prayed to God she wasn't one of those snobby british girls you would see on TV. They were awful, and scary. When I finally reached the airport, I parked up and walked towards the Arrivals section. I texted Will to let him know I was finally here and he texted back saying he was in baggage claim. I waited for him for a good ten minutes before I recognised the hat he wore everywhere from the corner of my eye and saw the bewildered shy looking girl by his side. That tiny thing was Tessa? She was just a little bigger than Clary, probably the same size if you put them together.

"Will! Will over here!" I yelled to him. He hurriedly walked over to me and grabbed me in a man hug, slapping me on the back while I did the same.

"Well it's good to finally see you Jace. You didn't get much more attractive since the last time I saw you. Hmm, must be a shame." He said sarcastically.

"Oh God, am I seriously stuck with a pretentious asshole for a month and then some?" I said, raising my head to the sky as if I were talking to God.

"Yes it seems that you are!" Will grinned at me. He then looked back and smiled at Tessa. He pulled her forward and wrapped his arm around her neck.

"This young lady is Tessa Gray. My good friend. I told you about her, right Jace?"

"Yeah totally! You'll both be staying with us! It's going to amazing. You'll love New York, Tessa, trust me." I said, reassuringly.

"I hope I do." She said shyly.

"You Will." Will said confidently.

"Shall we get going?" I asked.

"Definitely!" Will said, grinning at me. " I can't wait to see everyone else, especially Clary." He teased, jabbing me with his elbow.

"Whatever William. Just gonna pretend I don't know you."

"Now don't say that, we Herondale boys got to stick together." He said, swinging an arm around my neck. "They boys are back in town."

...

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**Hey guys! Review, favourite and follow! I was slightly disappointed with the amount of reviews I got in the last chapter since I believed it was my best one so far, but I hope you'll give this one more reviews! And if you do, I can most definitely try to update much quicker, like by Thursday? ;) Or even Wednesday. It depends on how many reviews I get! Next chapter will be very fun, may include family night with Will and Tessa ;) maybe I'll let them have their own special scenes, if you want them? Tell me in the reviews! also special guest Clary and a boys chat and lots of adorable Max? al in the next chapter possibly and much more! Review to find out ;) and also if I get more reviews and maybe they'll be smut in the next chap ;) SORRY FOR ANY MISTAKES ITS 7 AM AND I'VE BEEN UP ALL NIGHT But thank you to all the people who read this! And extra thanks for the people who review, favourite and follow! :) Hope you like this chapter! Love you all xxxx**


	17. Truths & Dares

**Thank you for the reviews, favourites and follows :) it means a lot to me! I thank you so much :) This is a fun light chapter, I wasn't feeling very well this week but your reviews made me want to write for you. THANK YOU! It's got the smut I promised you though.**

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**I DON'T OWN ANYTHING NOT THE SONGS OR CHARACTERS OR ANYTHING REMOTELY SIMILAR THE IDEA IS JUST MINE.**

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**Chapter Songs:**

**Katy Perry – TGIF**

**Usher – Trading Places**

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**Jace**

…

**truths and dares.**

**...**

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…

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When we got back to my house nobody was home. There was a note on the kitchen table from my parents. It had said that they knew we would want the house to ourselves for the first night Will was here, so they were going on a little weekend trip that they had wanted to go on for a while, but, they never had the time to go, so they decided to go now.

Will picked up the note and read it aloud. "Aww. So cute. Awesome we have the house to ourselves now. What do we do?"

Tessa walked slowly across the house in awe. She was probably surprised at how big American houses were compared to houses in London.

"I say we throw a huge party and invite our best friend Sebastian over." Will said sarcastically.

"One, Max is still here so we can't throw a party. Two, what if Sebastian doesn't want to come over? I'd be so upset!"

Tessa laughed at our sarcastic-ness and took a seat around the kitchen island as we walked into the kitchen, making herself comfortable. I noticed she stopped being shy and got very comfortable around people once she started getting to know them. She reminded me of Clary in some way.

"I'm guessing you boys dislike this Sebastian fella?" Tessa asked.

"Dislike would be understating it." Will said.

"Oh boy. Why is that?"

"It's a long story, Tessa. We'll tell you about it while were here sometime, you might just meet the arsehole himself. Are you tired? You must be after that seven hour flight." Will asked.

"Yes, I am. I'll be okay though." Tessa said sweetly.

"How about you head upstairs and get some rest or freshen up? Most rooms in this house have an en-suite so you can shower if you want. I'll show you two up to your rooms?" I offered.

"Yes, that'd be great. Thanks Jace." Tessa said.

I offered to take her luggage upstairs for her and I carried it as we walked up the stairs.

"Don't want to carry mines, huh?"

"Sorry babe, you're not attractive enough for me to want to hold your luggage." I smirked at him. Tessa laughed as Will narrowed his eyes at me. I wanted Will to admit that he really liked this girl. He said he only had a crush on her but I didn't believe it.

I could see Will glaring at me from the corner of my eye and he muttered something my ears couldn't pick up.

I raised an eyebrow at him and mouthed "problem?"

He shook his head no and rolled his eyes.

I showed Tessa to her room first. It was at the end of the hall and I thought it would offer her enough privacy.

"You know this house well enough Will; you can decide which room you want." I told him. He chose the room across Tessa's. No surprise there.

"This room's great Jace. Thanks. I'm just going to freshen up and rest for a little while. Would you guys mind waking me up in a few hours? We could spend some time together then." Tessa yawned and I could see her eyes were starting to closing.

"Not at all. Get some sleep, Tessie." Will smiled at her.

She returned the smile then took the luggage from me and walked inside. She closed the door behind her.

"Aww Tessie? How cute!" I teased Will once Tessa was not at a hearing distance.

"Shut up." Will rolled his eyes at me as we walked into his room which across the hall from Tessa's. "Theresa is a long name, okay? Tessa or Tessie is easier to say."

"Yeah, whatever." I nudged his arm teasingly.

"I'm sure you have a dorky lovesick name for Clary that makes everyone want to be sick."

"Not really. I call her Clare Bear but everyone calls her that. Although Isabelle did come up with some interesting nicknames today..."

"Yes, alright. Where's Max?" Will asked as he dropped his luggage on to the bed.

"Max should be in his room, I'm surprised he didn't come screaming downstairs when we came in, he was so excited for tonight. I promised him a boy's night."

"Sounds great. Let's go see him?"

We walked out of the room and headed to third floor where Max's bedroom was, him and my parents were the only people who slept on that floor.

"Maxxie?" I yelled as we went up the stairs. "I'm home!"

"Tell him Will's here, that'll get him moving. He doesn't care if you're home, he sees you everyday, and I'm the one who he hasn't seen in two years." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Max! Will's here!" Still no respond.

"Why isn't he replying?" Will asked.

"I don't know." I said. "Maybe he's asleep or something."

We walked down the hall quickly and opened the door to Max's room. He wasn't there. Shit.

"Where is he?" Will asked.

"I don't know. He comes back from school straight away, he doesn't go anywhere alone. Crap, he doesn't even have his phone, he leaves it at home."

"Call Isabelle."

I quickly pulled out my phone and rang Isabelle. She didn't pick up. Where the fuck were all my siblings?

"She didn't pick up." I told Will. I was starting to get slightly worried now.

"Let me ring Clary, she's with her." I dialled Clary's number and it took four rings before she answered.

'What's up?" Clary asked.

"Where is Isabelle?"

"She's right opposite me on Simon's bed, why?"

"Is she ok? Why didn't she pick up her phone? Is she okay?" I said frantically.

"She's fine you over protective father wannabe, and she had it on silent, but she's checking it now, why? What's wrong?" She teased.

"Max isn't home. We don't know where he is."

"I'm sure you're over-reacting, maybe he has gone out with your parents?" She reassured me.

"My parents have gone on a weekend trip for two, I doubt they took Max with them. They didn't actually. I don't know where he is." I said worriedly.

"Oh damn." Her voice travelled away and I heard her talking to Isabelle. "Max is missing, they don't know where he is."

"Oh my God!" I heard in the background. There was some rustling and then Isabelle was on the phone.

"Where is he Jace?" Isabelle yelled frantically.

"I don't know! That's why I rang you!"

"Dammit, are you home? Do you have Tessa and Will?" She asked.

"Yeah they're here, Tessa went up to her room to rest but Will's here with me."

"Okay, me, Simon and Clary will be there in 5 minutes! Ten maximum! Be right there!" She hung up and the phone went silent.

"Shall we head start on looking for him? This house is gigantic he could be in one of these rooms for all we know."

"Yeah alright. Shall we look in the other rooms? He probably is in there and we're stressing over nothing. I don't know why we got so quickly worked up over this! I'm sure he's here, let's go find him." I said hopefully.

"I know man, I know. It's going to be fine." Will nodded his head sympathetically at me–he knew how I felt about my siblings–and we decided to wait till Isabelle, Clary and Simon came. Will jogged upstairs to quickly tell Tessa we couldn't find Max and she got up straight away from her bed to come help us. She was so kind.

Seven minutes later Isabelle, Simon and Clary came rushing through the door.

"MAX!" Isabelle yelled through the house.

"Where do you think he could be?" Simon asked picking at his Darth Vader t-shirt.

"I don't know." I said worried.

"Hey Izzy! Simon! Clary!" Will said excitedly from behind me.

"Oh my God, he's back!" Clary screeched. "It's been two years too long!" She ran to quickly hug him. I wasn't jealous or anything at all. Whatever. Will winked at me from over her shoulder. Asshole.

"Two years have gone by and you still haven't got any taller Clary. We need to catch up on some _stuff_, but, only after we find Max." He smirked at her and she blushed whacking him on the chest, catching on to what he meant.

"Izzy Wizzy!" Will ran as soon as Clary let go of him and he went straight for Isabelle.

"Silly Willy!" Isabelle grabbed him into a bear hug and shook him.

"Oh God, don't break me!" He teased and she let go, I could still see that she was worried but excited to see him.

"Hey Simon!" Will knew Simon, they had hung out together with Clary and Isabelle quite a few times.

"Will!" Simon grinned. "Nice to see you after so long."

"Right back at ya."

"Who's this pretty lady?" Clary asked, smiling friendly at Tessa. That's my nice girl.

"This is Tessa Gray. My recent, new, best friend." Will introduced proudly.

"I am not your best friend. Dear God, no," Tessa rolled her eyes. Yep, definitely liked this girl. She wasn't going to go easy on Will. "You've got Jem for that already."

"He's my guy best friend, not my female best friend." Will narrowed his eyes at her.

"Yeah, whatever. It's nice to meet you guys, but, I think it'd be better to do introductions later, after we find your brother Max, but, it's really nice to finally meet you, I've heard so much." Tessa smiled, her cheeks were slightly red.

"That's awesome, nice to meet you too Tessa. We'll introduce ourselves properly as soon as we find Max." Isabelle said. "Now where you do think he would be?"

"I think we should look around the house first. It's pretty big and has a lot of rooms, but, if we spread out it shouldn't take long and then we can go out, ask people if they've seen them." I said.

"Yeah, okay." Then we split up, Clary went with Tessa searching the first floor, Simon went with Isabelle to the second floor, and Will came with me to the third floor.

We searched the third floor quickly. He wasn't in any of the rooms. We yelled at the others if they had found him and they said no. We caught up with each other on the second floor.

"He's not anywhere. Maybe he wondered off outside? We should go look for him," Isabelle said, worriedly biting her lip. "He's an eleven year old. You know they wonder off without permission all the time."

"Yeah, I'm sure we'll find him, don't worry Izzy." Simon rubbed her back comfortably. I think he might have known about what tore this family apart before I personally tore it apart.

"Did anyone check the library by chance?" Clary offered, rubbing the back of her neck.

"That's absurd. What would he be doing in there? He's not a nerd like you little Clary." Will said exasperatedly.

"I don't hear you coming up with any better ideas." Clary glared at him.

"Nothing would be better than _that_ idea." Will scoffed. Isabelle snickered from the side.

"Shut up, William." I glared at him. "Haven't changed much have you?" I could see Clary grinning from the corner of my eye. You could never really stay mad at Will.

"Whatever. Boyfriend to the rescue, huh?" Will teased.

"Just shut up William." I was getting aggravated again. I needed to find Max.

"Okay, let's go check out the library then." Will said, calmly backing away from me. Clever idea.

We quickly walked to the library at the end of the hall and pushed the doors open. We found him sitting right in the far corner of the library, hidden by rows of books in plush chair. He was asleep, with a book in his lap and had headphones in his ears. The weight on my shoulders disappeared and my worriedness disappeared. I felt dizzy with relief. We all let out a quiet "thank God" and relaxed. Damn, the last time I felt like this was with Anna.

"Oh, thank God he's here. I always think for the worst." Will said pressing his hand against his heart.

"I say we get revenge for him scaring us like that." Isabelle said, chuckling at Max's snoring form.

We all took slow steps towards Max, and pounced on him screaming.

"AAHH. OH MY GOD. WHAT? I'M AWAKE? WHO DIED?" Max yelled as he sat up and stared at us with wide eyes. "What happened?"

"We thought _you_ died, idiot. Now give me a hug." Will rolled his eyes.

"Will!" Max jumped out of his seat and onto Will. "I'm so happy to see you!"

"Same here, little kid. At least somebody grew over the years." Will said, looking over at Clary and smirking. She rolled her eyes at him.

"Hey, by the way, you said the idea of Max being in a library was 'absurd', but, he's right here! So in your face! Take that!" Clary stuck her tongue out at Will.

"Whatever, you peasant." Will rolled his eyes.

"Just can't handle that I was right." Clary scoffed.

"Okay, I was wrong, you were right, whatever midget."

"Personally, I think your height is perfectly fine." I whispered in her ear, kissing her temple.

I felt her shiver.

"What are you two whispering about?" Max asked, wearing a cheesy smile.

"None of your business." I rolled my eyes. Apparently today was the day of eye rolling, funnily how it started with Will's arrival.

"Eew. Whatever. Hi. Who is this?" Max asked, looking at Tessa.

"This is Tessa, my friend. Remember I told you about her on the phone?" Will said.

"Oh yeah! Hi Tessa!" Max grinned at her. "You're pretty!"

"Thanks Max." Tessa blushed. Max the ladies' man.

Over the next few hours we spent time together hanging out and playing on the 'Wii'. We played games and teased each other. Tessa and everyone started talking and she became very comfortable and became one of us very shortly. She was very friendly and funny. She was quick on her feet when it came to teasing Will. He was a very witty person and even I found it hard to come back with something better. We all loved her once she showed us her true personality instead of being shy. Will catched up with us all and asked about what had happened in our lives in the past two years. Simon and Will teased Clary and I mercilessly. He said he had to talk to me privately later on though. Simon and Clary decided to stay over for the night for a sleepover, sounds so chick flick, but, yeah. It was a really great evening. We watched a movie; "The Hunger Games" and Isabelle and Clary kept quoting almost every line and squealing at 'Everlark' scenes, whatever that was. Around 10:30 Max started to get sleepy so he headed up to bed and left all of us adults downstairs.

"So what do we do now?" Simon asked.

"Let's play Truth or Dare!" Will said.

"Yes please." Isabelle groaned. "I'm so bored."

We sat in a circle on the floor and we were about to start playing but then Clary's phone rang.

"Hey…oh my God! I totally forgot! Damn, do I have to come home? I'll see you guys tomorrow morning? I'm just really tired and I'm staying over at Isabelle's house for the night. We're hanging out, Will's back in town. Ok, mom…no mom….what's the problem if I am?...that's so unfair and hypoc–no it's fine. I'm fine. Whatever." Clary huffed and shoved her phone in her pocket.

"Are Luke and Jocelyn back in town?" Simon asked.

"Yeah they are." Clary rolled her eyes.

"What happened? You sounded annoyed and now you look upset." Tessa asked.

"Oh, that I want to talk about right now, maybe later. You know what mothers can be like." Clary said.

"True." Tessa said quietly. She didn't have her mother anymore. She probably would give anything to get her back even if it meant arguing every day.

"Don't be pissed at your mom for whatever she said. She probably only said it because she cares." I said.

"Yeah but sometimes she just…oh well it's not important. Let's play." I hope she was okay. She looked a bit pissed off and upset now. I wonder what her mom had said. Maybe she was upset that Clary wasn't going to come home that night even though they had come back tonight, but, it seemed like it was more than that. Hmm...I would ask her later what it was about.

"You sure you're okay?" I asked.

"Yeah." She replied dryly.

Isabelle and Clary swapped looks that gave me the idea that Isabelle might know something I didn't.

"Okay, awkward. Anyways, let's start shall we? Jace. Truth or Dare? Choose wisely." Will said creepily in his damn English accent.

"Hmm, dare." I was feeling risky tonight.

"You made the wrong decision!" Will said, laughing, creepily once again.

"I'm sure there's nothing as worse you can think of that I haven't already done!" I dared.

"Oh, you sure about that?" Will raised his eyebrow.

"Yeah I'm sure; hit me with your best shot." I raised an eyebrow back.

"Okay...I dare you to run down the street wearing antlers, screaming." Will said.

"That's it? Oh cousin you disappoint me."

"_Only_ antlers Jace."

"Oh man. That's more like it." I smirked. From the corner of my eye I could see Clary blushing, probably of the idea of me naked.

"Eew! Couldn't you choose something else? I don't want to see my brother naked!" Isabelle groaned.

"Who said you have to watch?" Will said, annoyed. "You can stay here while the rest of us go watch."

"Oh that is slightly awkward..." Tessa said quietly.

"You don't have to watch either Tessa if you don't want to." Will rolled his eyes while Tessa blushed.

"Someone has to go witness this!" Simon laughed.

"C'mon then Simon, me, you and Clary shall go witness this." Oh God. Did I really want Clary seeing me naked? What if she didn't want to?

"Clary doesn't have to come if she doesn't want to." I said.

"Oh, why? Is someone scared of seeing their boyfriend naked? Aww." Will taunted.

Isabelle snorted and Tessa averted her eyes. I could see Simon trying not to laugh while Will just smirked, looking at the both of us.

"Shut up Will. C'mon let's go."

"I'll come with you." Clary said.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yeah c'mon." Clary scowled at Will.

"Oh someone's feeling dangerous tonight." Will teased.

"Oh shut up William." Clary muttered.

We walked to the front doors and into the streets.

"Strip, lover boy." Simon said.

I took off my shirt and my shoes. Simon and William were making hollering sounds and hooting. I took my jeans off and looked back at them. I was standing in my boxer shorts and Clary was checking me out. When she looked back up at my face she blushed at being caught. Will and Simon were laughing and then Isabelle and Tessa came out.

"I'm sorry, but, we couldn't miss this. I'll just have to avert my eyes because this is too funny." Isabelle said.

"What a way to get close to someone than to see them naked right?" Tessa winked.

"If you wanted to see someone naked, you should have just asked me." Will smirked at her.

"Yeaaaaah…no thanks." Tessa snorted.

"Whatever."

Ooh. They've definitely got some sexual tension lingering. Ok, maybe a lot. I've seen plenty of it tonight. I'm sure the others noticed, hell, I'm ever sure Max noticed but didn't know why it was so awkward.

"Okay, take your boxers off!" Simon yelled out. I hoped no innocent kid was staring out of their window at this time.

Isabelle and Tessa covered their eyes but Clary was still staring at me. She was actually going to watch me get naked.

"Let us know when you start running so we can look!" Isabelle yelled. I slowly pulled down my boxers and all of them started making teasing sounds. I jokingly started to gyrate my hips and threw my head back. I moaned and started dancing dirty. Will and Simon burst out laughing. When I looked at them they were whistling and laughing their asses off while wiping their eyes. When I looked at Clary her eyes were slightly hooded and her mouth was slightly parted. Was she turned on? Holy crap, well I was naked now.

"Here are some antlers." Will said, passing me the antlers.

"Where the hell did you get antlers from?" I asked, confused.

"It's near Christmas! I'm staying till New Years. I packed Christmas stuff and this was one of them! Now put them on! We're going to videotape it, is that okay?" Will said excitedly, pulling his phone out.

"It's fine." I kicked off the boxers around my ankles and put the antlers. I didn't mind them videotaping me, we did it all the time whenever we played games like this. It's not like we would use it against each other.

"Start running and screaming babe." Will teased.

So I did. I ran and screamed my head off as the cold November air whipped at my body. I could hear Will, Simon, Clary, Isabelle and Tessa yelling, whistling and clapping.

"To the end of the street and back!" Will yelled.

"Cute butt baby!" Clary shouted. I threw my head back and laughed.

"Nice seeing him naked for the first time, huh?" I heard Will yell at Clary.

"Oh, shut up!" She yelled back.

I kept running until I reached the end of the street and turned around. When I looked back at them, they weren't there. Oh no fricken way. I ran back quickly and saw that they were all gone and so were my clothes, they had only left my boxers on. I quickly put them back on.

"Open the fucking door!" I banged on the door.

I could hear Will cackling on the other side.

"Never!" He shouted.

"Oh come on! I'm freezing my ass off!" I yelled at him.

"At least give me my clothes."

"You have to earn your clothes."

"Urgh! How do you expect me to do that?"

"Oh let him back in! He's probably freezing his balls off." Simon laughed.

"Fine." Will said grumpily.

He opened the door and I pushed him so he stumbled into the wall.

"Asshole."

He couldn't stop laughing.

I snatched my clothes off him and quickly put them back on. I was shivering.

"Okay, whose turn is it next?" Clary said coming around the corner. Her face was flushed and she was shivering too.

"Oh that was too funny. Great dare William." Simon said. "And it's your turn Clare Bear!"

"Great. I'm definitely not picking dare." Clary said, giggling at me. I walked towards her menacingly as she backed up into the room.

"Don't act like you didn't like what you saw. I saw your reaction." I whispered in her ear. Her eyes widened and she took a deep inhale. Nice.

I walked away, into the room and sat back in the circle.

"What did you girls think?" I asked Tessa and Isabelle.

"Gross Jace. I didn't even look until you were at the end of the street."

"I looked about halfway. Nice butt." Tessa giggled.

"Thanks Tess." I snorted.

Simon, Will and Clary came and sat down in the circle.

"Okay, so it's Clary's turn." Isabelle said.

"Alright."

"Truth or Dare?" Simon asked.

"Truth." She said.

"Wimp." Isabelle stuck her tongue out at her.

"Whatever."

"Anybody got a truth for her?" Tessa asked.

"I've got one." Will smirked.

I wonder what crap he had come up.

"Okay, Clary you just saw Jace naked. What did you think?" he asked.

Everybody burst out laughing and went 'oooh'. Clary blushed and twisted her lips, trying not to laugh. I raised my eyebrow at her and waited for her answer.

"It was…"

"Yeah?" We all said at the same time.

"It wasn't bad." Clary muttered.

It wasn't bad? Wasn't bad?! I've seen myself naked before and I'm pretty sure I deserve a lot better than _wasn't bad_!

"Oh c'mon! You have to give us more than that!" Simon moaned.

"No. You never said how I had to describe it, so whatever." Clary said.

"Simon's turn!" Isabelle said. "Truth or Dare?"

"Dare!" he said excitedly.

"I dare you to borrow one of my bras, wear it and stuff it!" Isabelle giggled. Oh I really wanted to see that. And video tape it.

Simon went upstairs with Isabelle to get one and came back downstairs with a chest stuffed. He looked like a hermaphrodite.

We all burst out laughed.

"I am woman. HEAR ME ROAR!" he growled loudly, shaking his fists in the air. We couldn't stop laughing. Once Simon stopped goofing about with his _sexy _chest we stopped laughing and calmed down.

"Okay, Will's turn now. Truth or dare?"

"I'm too tired to do anything right now. Truth?" Will answered.

"Okay, anyone got a question for him?" Clary said.

"I've got one." I said. "Who was the last person who starred in your last dirty dream?"

Will froze slightly and I knew then it was Tessa. Gross. Disgusting boy.

The guys burst out laughing.

"I refuse to answer this question." Will said.

"Oh come on!" We yelled at him.

"Fine. It was a girl." He said.

"Well no shit Sherlock, we didn't think it was a boy." Simon said, raising his eyebrow. "Jace said 'Who'!"

"Clary wasn't obvious with her answer and I refuse to be either!" Will yelled.

"Fine." We groaned.

"Well guys, tonight was great. I loved it. I had so much fun, but I was on a flight all day and it's almost twelve. I'm going to head up to bed. Jace, your dick is still as tiny as it was when I saw it when we were five. Such a shame. I'm apologize on his behalf Clary. Goodnight guys, love you." Will stood up and took a bow.

"Asshole!" I yelled at him.

"Hey, it's not my fault your body won't allow you to grow." Will shrugged at me.

We argued for a good five minutes before something hit us in the chest. We both looked down and saw a rubber duck.

"AHH! FUCK!" We both yelled and stepped away from _it_.

"What the hell?!" Will shouted.

"Where did that come from?" I yelled.

"Me. God, I love that rubber duck. I still can't believe you guys are scared of ducks. _Ducks_ of all things." Isabelle said smugly.

"Cow." Will snarled at her.

"Evil child." I growled.

"Love you two so much, mwah." Isabelle giggled. "Now stop arguing. I'm tired too and I'm going to head up to bed."

They all said goodnight and headed up to bed. Clary and I stayed downstairs to clear up the pizza boxes, put the movies away and put the games away. We both walked in silence up the stairs and it was quiet on the second floor. Everybody had gone to their rooms and guest rooms. Clary looked slightly awkward as she wasn't sure where to go. I then remembered she had seen me naked, possibly _completely _naked if she had looked at me at the right angle and time. Holy crap she saw me naked. She has possibly seen my dick! Oh well, nothing to be ashamed of there.

"Where do you want to sleep?" I asked her when we reached the top of the stairs.

"Where can I sleep?" Clary said, biting her lip.

"Wherever you want." I said softly.

"Can I sleep with you? Not like that–but just sleep." She said shyly.

"Yeah sure. You can go get ready in my room, spare toothbrush is in the drawer by the way. I'm just going to quickly go check on Maxxie." I told her. She walked into my room and closed the door behind her. I quickly walked up the stairs to the third floor and quietly opened Maxxie's bedroom door, trying not to make any creaking sounds that would wake him up. He was sleeping, his chest rising and falling softly. It was nice to see my brother–and two pairs of lungs–working well. I never wanted to lose someone close again. I quickly shut the door and headed back down to my room. Clary was there, lying on top of my bed. Her hair was in a loose ponytail and she had one leg stretched out and the other one raised up.

"I hope you don't mind, but, I took one of your shirts and boxers to wear to sleep. I didn't bring any of my own."

She was wearing my rainbow boxers with my plain black t-shirt. She looked spectacular, like a breath of fresh air.

"I definitely don't mind. They look better on you then they do on me anyways." I winked at her. "I'm going to go wash up in the bathroom."

I walked into the bathroom, used the toilet, washed up and brushed my teeth. I walked out and took my shirt and jeans off, leaving me in my boxers. I could see Clary shivering on the bed. She must have been freezing in the November weather and it was always hard to keep the room warm. We had the central heating on but you had to be tucked in real tight in bed to feel the heat.

"Clary, are you cold?" I asked her.

"A little bit, yes." She smiled sheepishly at me.

"Get under the covers and warm up baby." I liked calling her baby.

"Okay." She slid under the covers and tucked the blanket in around her.

I dimmed the lights low so we could talk and still see each other. I slipped into my bed and cuddled up close with her.

"Damn, your feet are so cold!" Clary squealed.

"Well deal with it missy. I need to warm up." I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her closer and she snuggled up close.

"Hmmm." She murmured, sounding content. I was glad I could make her sound like that.

"So about earlier today…" I said.

"Yes?" she said quietly.

"Did you see me…? You know…" I trailed off.

"If you're asking if I saw you fully naked then no, when you turned around to look at me your body was facing the other way, and when you started running all I could see was your butt. It was a very cute butt though." She said, her hand trailing down my back to my butt and then she pinched it.

"Hey! That hurt." I said teasingly rubbing my butt. "But, when Will asked that question…you didn't answer properly, can you answer it now?"

She twisted her naked legs with my own and looked down at me as if thinking what to say. "You know you have a hot body Jace."

"Yeah I know, but, it's nice to hear you say it." I smirked.

"Hmm, whatever." She rolled her eyes, laughing at me. "Do you want to carry on playing our own truth or Dare?"

I was surprised. "With just us two? Isn't it kind of boring with two people."

"I'm sure we could make it interesting. Can we only do truths though, I'm too cold to leave the bed for dares. Can we do that Jace?" She asked.

"Sure." We both sat up on our elbows and faced each other.

"Okay, what is the most sexual thought you've ever had about someone?" She asked. Damn, I wasn't expecting that.

"You really want to know?" I asked.

"Yeah. Let's make this interesting." She said.

"Well it was about you," I whispered. "About making love to you."

"Oh." She said. I could see her throat moving up and down. She wasn't expecting that. Her eyelids were hooded. I wonder if she was thinking about us…like that.

"Your turn." I murmured. She asked a dirty question so I was going to ask a dirtier question and let this get _hot_. "When you got yourself off for the first time, what were you thinking about?"

Her eyes widened and she turned red. "That's a bit personal don't you think?" she teased. "I wasn't thinking–at first–I was just in the bath relaxing and I turned the Jacuzzi jets on. The pressure of the water against _me_ like that made me feel all sorts of things. I didn't realise what was happening to my body and before I knew it, I was done for, so tired and spent I just cleaned up and fell into my bed." Now it was my turn to gulp. Damn, that was hot.

She blushed when she looked at me, staring at her all wide eyed and breathless.

"Oh wow," I said, counting to ten. "Clary," I took a deep breath. "Can I touch you?" I asked softly.

She nodded her head.

I grasped her hips and pressed her down onto the bed. I leaned over her and dragged myself lower. I worked my lips sensually up the inside of her thigh, taking in every inch of her perfect legs while I slid my fingers across her skin to caress her stomach. She moaned my name as my fingers gently caressed her stomach. I moved them to her sides, then the small of her back. She whimpered as my lips nibbled and sucked softly on her inner thighs. She was so sensitive. My shaking hands slowly crept past her trembling stomach, giving her enough time to stop me. My fingers brushed across her chest. She gasped and closed her eyes. She arched her back and leaned her head back and I slowly started to massage the skin under her breast, still giving her time to stop me. She shifted downwards, trying to get my hand closer to _that _spot. I took her message and palmed on of her breasts softly.

"Oh Jace." She whimpered. She arched her back and spread her legs wider. I gently massaged her breast. I think she realised what I was actually doing–touching her breasts– and she felt self-conscious, so she rose up and tried to cover herself.

"Don't. It's fine. You're fine. You're beautiful. All of you is. I never thought for a second you wouldn't be." I said honestly. She didn't have the biggest chest but she had fit nicely in my palm and her soft skin felt wonderful in my hands. She took a deep breath and melted underneath me, comfortably lying back down on the bed again. I could feel her nipples getting hard underneath my palm. I also felt myself getting hard underneath my shorts. By the Angel, this was incredible. My lips still played with the insides of her thighs, inching higher. I could feel the heat and sweat dripping from her skin as my mouth got closer and closer to her underwear.

"Wait, stop." Clary said breathlessly. I lifted my head from its spot and looked up at her.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Every time we do this…" she bit her lip. "It's always me that gets an _outcome_, I want to give you something this time."

Was she saying what I thought she was saying…?

She flipped us over and leaned over me.

"You don't have to do this Clary." I panted. "It's okay. I enjoy giving you what you deserve, I don't need it."

"You don't think I like the idea of giving you what you deserve too? I always feel _it _you know. I think it's unfair." She said softly.

She grasped my cock in her hands and I gasped, loudly. I closed my eyes softly and let her do as she wished. I pull her head to mines and kiss her harshly, our breaths loud in the silence of the room. She tentatively moved her small soft hand up and down my shaft. I dropped the kiss and leaned my head back against the pillow, I couldn't take it anymore and groaned loudly.

"Am I doing this right?" She whispered against my ear.

"Oh yes." I gasped when her grip got a little tighter. I kissed down her neck and across her clavicle and she played with me. She experimented with her hands. Sometimes she would have a light grip with a slow motion, then, she would switch it up and go hard and fast. I could feel myself getting harder. I was trying to pro-long the release, but the way Clary was going I would be done in a few seconds.

"Do you like that?" She asked, panting softly in my ear.

"Yes." I groaned.

She quickly jerked me hard and fast and I came in her hand in a matter of seconds.

"Sticky." She whispered.

I couldn't help but laugh at her as I tried to catch my breath. She looked so beautiful leaning over, on top of me like that.

"Do you want me to do anything for you?" I asked.

"No, I just want to clean up and then get back into bed and snuggle with you, ok?" she said.

"That sounds perfect." I kissed the tip of her nose.

She walked over to the bathroom to use the toilet and wash her hands. I went in after her to clean myself. I quickly had a shower and changed my clothes. Thank God, nothing had gotten onto my bed sheets.

"Hey beautiful girl." I whispered to Clary in bed, once I switched off the lights completely and gotten into bed.

"Hey handsome boy." She sighed. "You sleepy?"

"Hmm, you've sedated me." I murmured.

"Get some sleep baby. Goodnight Jacey."

"Goodnight Clary."

...

...

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**Its 5:36 am right now, lol I couldn't sleep and even though my inspiration has been lacking I thought a chapter was needed now. Thank you for your reviews! This was a fun light chapter. I have been ill and dealing with some family issues this past week so I don't know if this is any good but I hope you guys like it. I just wanted to do a light nice chapter. And OMG I am so close to 300 reviews! I swear if you could get me to 300 reviews with this one chapter I'd do a special marathon like a chapter every day for 3 days in a row. I'd try really hard too! But I understand if you guys can't get to that many reviews, I don't expect much! Please favourite, follow, and review. Love you all guys! I love speaking to you all! Questions questions…What did Clary's mom say? It wasn't about staying over at Isabelle's, that's for sure! Who is Anna and what happened to her? & much more! Drama in upcoming chapters ;) and omg guys did you see the TMI + Divergent interviews and stuff at comiccon! Wow! I wish I had been there! I can't wait for The Hunger Games: Catching Fire new trailer and interviews to come out tomorrow :D**


	18. Disapproval

**OMG! When I woke up I had 300 reviews EEEEEEEEEEIK! THANK YOU! Thank you for the reviews, favourites and follows :) it means a lot to me! I thank you guys so much :) Here's a chapter for all you lovely people! I'm so sorry guys :( you got me way past 300 reviews and I couldn't get you the marathon-ish chapters because of how hectic my life has been at the moment. Life's a bit of a struggle at the moment at home and with me. I feel like a really crappy writer, but, I hope you enjoy what I can give you! I understand if you're disappointed, I would be too. Maybe this chapter will give you an insight of what's been going on in my life.**

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**In this chapter you get to learn about Clary's past. That's right; she's got a rough past too. Well in my story anyway. I used my own experiences when it came to coming up with Clary's story and if anyone can relate or ever went through the same thing, I just want you know you are all beautiful and you should never let anybody make you feel any less. You're all incredible and capable of incredible things. This subject is close to heart so that's why I sound like such a sob lol. Hope you like the way I leave things hanging ;) **

**Once again, I'm sorry.**

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**I DON'T OWN ANYTHING NOT THE SONGS OR CHARACTERS OR ANYTHING REMOTELY SIMILAR THE IDEA IS JUST MINE.**

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**Chapter Songs:**

**Plumb – Cut **

**My Darkest Days – Come Undone**

**Three Days Grace – Last To Know**

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**Clary**

…

**disapproval.**

**...**

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…

...

I can't believe I touched him like that. I had never touched a guy like that, hadn't ever thought about it. I just wanted him so bad. For the first time in my life, lust overcame me. I wanted to hear the sort of _sounds _he would make, to see what his face would look like. I had never gone _that _far with a guy before, but pent up lust for Jace over the years broke that dam, I guess. I hadn't seen what Jace looked like down _there_. I had only felt him, but he had felt pretty big. I was too scared to look down at his mini me, so I had kept kissing him and closing my eyes. My heart had never thumped so hard before. The way he touched me last night…_holy crap_. I hadn't expected our game of truths to be dirty, but, I had just wanted to know and after seeing him partially naked…well I couldn't help myself. We'll definitely have to play that game again. It was morning. The sun was peeking through a gap in Jace's curtains and irritably getting in my eye. I really wanted to get up to shove the curtains together, but, I was way too comfortable being spooned by Jace. He had his leg wrapped around my leg. His arm was wrapped around my waist and his face was tucked in between my shoulder and neck from behind. I would never leave if I could. Unfortunately I had to go home soon. I didn't want to after the phone call I had with my mom. I had never been so angry with her before. I had told her I was staying with Isabelle and that Will was back. She had said "Well, that's good to hear, but, you better be staying away from Jace. He's trouble. You don't talk to him. I don't like him at all."

My mom didn't like Jace. How was I supposed to tell her I was in a relationship with the boy? Oh God. She had heard the gossip and refused to belief that Jace could have changed or even be innocent. Did she expect me to ignore him while I hung out with _his _family and _his _cousins? She wanted me to come home straight away after I woke up. I bet she would have a heart attack if she knew I was in his bed right now, if she knew what we did last night. I almost snorted at the thought of her face as she would find out. She didn't want me anywhere near him. I knew she didn't think highly of him and that this would be an issue, but, if I had gone public at school about my relationship with Jace, obviously she would find out soon. Gossip moved quickly. There was no keeping it a secret from her. I would have to tell her. I just hoped she wouldn't freak out too badly.

A loud groan broke me out of my chain of thought. I looked over my shoulder to see Jace slowly started to wake up. I looked ahead at the clock to see it was 10 am, which was an early start for a Saturday.

"You awake?" he murmured in my ear.

"Yeah, I woke up about ten minutes ago." I whispered.

He groaned and rose from the bed, stretching his arm as he yawned. I thought he looked adorable. He walked over to the bathroom and closed the door. I got up from the bed and looked at his mirror. I actually felt really good about myself physically–I swear I'm not getting cocky–but a girl can feel good about herself, right? Especially after spending years being self-conscious. Jace helped me feel better about myself. If someone who looked like _that_ could like someone like me, then I can't be _that _ugly. As I looked in the mirror, I saw a girl who saw the beauty in herself. A girl used to struggle with the way she looked before was no longer there.

No one really knew about the issues I had since I was a child. _Anorexia, self-body image disorder, cutting, bullying, eating disorders. _Isabelle knew about it and so did my parents, but, that was about it. Isabelle only knew because she was my best friend and she had caught me with a pencil sharpener blade against my arm. People think that these issues only start when you're a teenager but they can happen to anyone at any age. It all started when I was a kid. Isabelle and I hadn't gone to the same Elementary and Middle School even though we were best friends so she never knew how the other students in my class would treat me. It was why I was so quiet in High School before Isabelle helped me break out of my shell. They were awful.

The girls in my class would tease me relentlessly. I used to go home begging to my parents if I could dye my hair any other colour just to get rid of the red, hoping that would cause the teasing to stop. I was a chubby child and they would make fun of my weight. They found anything to tease me about, from my frizzy hair and freckles to my too big feet and fat ankles. This lead to me refusing to eat at the dining table, to me hating the way I looked for so long and to cutting. It hurt so much. I remembered I had typed into Google 'How to get rid of the pain' when I was a child and came across cutting. I had worked, until of course Isabelle caught me. I was thirteen when she caught me. She had never looked so shocked in her life, well, that was until Jonathan died. Even though I had told her not to tell anyone she had gone to my parents, but, I understood that because she knew they would be able to help me, even though I had been mad at her for a while. I'm glad she had done it because it was the right thing to do. We eventually made up.

When my parents had found out they were so shocked and asked why I did it and I came up with some bullshit about being depressed because I hadn't wanted them to know about the girls in school. If they knew they would get involved and tell the school and I just didn't want that happening. That had been a very emotional night for my family. They had kept their eye on me for a very long time, I would always see them casually checking out my arm for any new scars. I didn't cut anymore, every once in a while I would cut if I felt really upset–only one or two cuts–and play them off as old cuts if Isabelle or my family asked. The last time I had cut was during the past summer. I don't know what had happened to me, but I just looked in the mirror and I felt like such shit that I had to cut myself again. The last time I had the urge to do it was when Sebastian tried to force himself on me. I almost had done, but, I was so exhausted I hadn't had the energy to do it, otherwise I would have, plus, Jace came and saved me, sort of, since you can't really cut when someone's there with you.

I remember the things those girls used to say to me.

"_You're so fat Clary, God are you really going to eat lunch?"_

"_Look at her chubby face and her chubby arms; what do her parents feed her?"_

"_Probably loads and loads of carrots, I mean look at her face and hair." _

They had worse ones, but, over time I programmed my brain not to remember, but, there's something's you cannot forget. I had lost a bunch of weight from refusing to eat, but, then it hit the worst when I passed out in the middle of the road while walking home and almost got run over. I had to be taken to the hospital. They had asked me about why I hadn't been eating properly and I had come clean, telling the doctor about all my issues, including the school ones. They informed my parents. That was another ugly battle. They had finally found out the complete reasons why I cut and stopped eating. I had been transferred to another school, the one Isabelle and Simon went to. I was much happier there. After that I had been put on an eating plan that helped me with my eating disorder and put me on a healthy diet. At first it was really hard. I had to eat all this food I didn't want to eat and it made me feel like a fat piece of blurgh. I hated it, but, I had to eat it, I was on constant watch. Simon had also found out pretty soon about my problems after this and he and Isabelle were always there for me, encouraging me to eat more. I didn't gain back all the weight. I'm still skinny, but it's an on-going life battle. It will never really feel like it's going to go away unless I feel completely at peace with my body. I'm slowly getting there. Jace helps.

I was still standing in front of the mirror when Jace walked out of the bathroom.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Oh just looking." I said.

"At the most beautiful girl?" he walked up to me and wrapped his arms around my waist, tucking his face into the hollow of my shoulder. See? He helped.

"Oh stop it." I said, shoving him with my elbow slightly.

"I can't. Scout's Honour. I have to be honest." He raised three fingers. "Come back to bed. No one is going to be awake yet, it's too early. Not on a Saturday." He whispered hotly in my ear. I could smell his sweet minty breath.

"I'd love to, but, my mom want's me home soon. She told me to come home as soon as I wake up. I haven't seen my parent's for a week now."

I watched our reflection in the mirror. We looked good together. Gold and red. Gold and green. Pale and tan. Muscular and skinny. God, I loved having him to hold me.

"Well your mom doesn't know that you woke up right now, does she? Let's just relax for an hour or two before you have to go." He stopped for a second, biting his lip as if to think if he should say his next words. "What did she call you about?"

Oh damn. I really didn't want to tell him. How would it make him feel if he knew my parent's didn't want me to see him? It would hurt his feelings for sure. I should have thought about them before I decided to be in a relationship with Jace, but it's too late for that. He makes me happy and I don't want to give him up. My parent's will just have to understand, hopefully. Now, what to tell Jace...

"It's complicated, how about we talk about it another day? It's not really interesting."

"Are you sure? It seemed to upset you..." Jace trailed on.

"I wasn't upset, just annoyed. It's okay, I'm over it now. It's not a big deal." I fake smiled at him. "Let's go back to bed, shall we?"

"Okay." He grinned, but he didn't look like he believed me.

He lifted me from my feet and threw me on to the bed. He landed on top of me. I giggled and squealed like an eight year old.

"Now what shall we do?" He asked.

"Well, we could go back to sleep, or…"

"What are you thinking?"

"Or, you could carry on with what you were doing last night before I pleasantly interrupted." He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Are you sure?" I nodded my head at him.

His cheery face turned serious as he slowly travelled down my body and hooked one of my legs quickly around his back. I gasped at the change of position. Damn, boy had technique. He slowly placed hot kisses on my thigh, trailing upwards. I kept letting out tiny gasps. He was _so _damn close…

"Hey! Wake up love birds, breakfast is on the table. Out now before I open this door! It isn't locked, you know." Isabelle yelled through the door.

Jace and I simultaneously groaned as he let go of my leg and kneeled in front of me. He looked like a fallen angel. _My fallen angel. _I shivered at the thought. He looked at me, trying to catch his breath and control himself…I think.

"I thought you said nobody would be awake." I groaned.

"We'll I was wrong I guess. That's a first. We'll finish this later." He whispered.

I gulped and nodded my head. "Yeah, we will."

He got off and lent me hand and raised me off the bed. I quickly went to the bathroom while he went to the kitchen. I changed into my clothes from last night and grabbed my phone. There was a text.

_**Come home for breakfast. ~ Mom**_

Damn it.

I headed to the kitchen. Everyone was already seated and eating.

"I see you and Jace enjoyed yourselves." Will smirked at me from across the table.

"What do you mean?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh, you didn't realise how loud you were?" Will raised an eyebrow back. "I'm sure we all heard what was coming from Jace's bedroom. Hopefully poor Max never heard anything." Oh my God. My face blushed as I cringed internally. I was sure I was quiet? Crap. How embarrassing. Simon the bastard snorted out his orange juice and everyone burst out laughing. I looked over at Jace and he was hiding his smirk behind his coffee cup. Jackass.

"Whatever. I have to go on and head home." I told them.

"Aww, why?" Simon asked.

"My mom wants to see me. I'll be off then. It was nice to meet you Tessa."

"It was nice to meet you too." She smiled at me.

"I'll walk you out." Jace said.

"Okay." I murmured.

We walked out of the kitchen side by side into the hallway.

"You're not angry about that are you?" Jace asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, just a little embarrassed." He smiled sheepishly.

"Next time we'll have to be quiet."

"Hmm." I nodded my head.

We reached the door and he turned to face me.

"Do you want me to walk you home?" he asked.

"As nice as that sounds I should go home to deal with my parents…alone." I mumbled.

"Oh okay. So I'll see you later?" Jace asked, twisting his lips, nervously. Why did this suddenly feel so awkward? Maybe he had some idea of what was going on, but, how could he know how my parents would react to this. I didn't give off any clues about what they could have said to me.

"Yeah, sure. I'll text you?"

He nodded his head at me and opened the door.

I stepped out without looking back at him. Maybe he would have kissed me goodbye or I would have kissed him, but, it just felt wrong to me. I carried on walking and didn't look back to see if he was still there. I knew that he knew something was up with my family that I wasn't telling him. I felt bad that I was keeping secrets as soon as our relationship started, but, I knew what my mom had said would upset Jace. I walked to where I parked my car and pulled my keys out of my pocket. I started the car and drove home. I just couldn't _wait _to see my parents again.

Ten minutes later I reached home and parked the car into the garage. I opened the front door with my key and walked in.

"Mom? Dad?" I yelled into the hallway.

"Clary? We're in the kitchen." My mom's stern voice called out.

I walked into the kitchen, slightly nervous for what I was going to have to tell them.

"Oh it's so good to see you!" My dad smiled over the breakfast table.

Luke wasn't my birth dad, but I called him that anyway. He was there when the sperm donor ran off. That's what we refer to my actual dad as. He was an asshole who ran out on my mom as soon as she told him she was pregnant. Jackass. My mom had always been good friends with Luke and they had slowly fallen in love and he helped my mom through the pregnancy and raising me. I knew he would never hurt us so I trusted him with my mom and me. He also let me call him Luke. How awesome? But I still referred to him as dad when talking to other people.

"Luke!" I screamed as I ran over to hug him. He hugged me back and told me to take a seat at the breakfast table.

My mother turned to face me. She gave me a tight smile and sat down. What was up her ass? Oh yeah that's right, me.

"Mom you might as well get on with the lecture you want to give me for being such a rude daughter." I groaned.

"You do realise you're being rude again don't you?" She asked.

"Yeah okay, I'm sorry. Is this over now?" I mumbled.

"No, stay seated." She rolled her eyes at me.

"Look Clary we only say and do things because we care about you, alright?" she said, turning that sympathetic mother caring excuse on me.

"Yeah I know."

"That's why I got so annoyed last night." Annoyed? More like furious. She hated the idea of me being near Jace. "That boy is trouble. Not just bad boy trouble. He murdered someone! You know better to hang out with someone like that. I understand hanging out with Isabelle and Will, but, not that boy. Everyone's heard the rumours of how he did drugs and smoked weed and drank alcohol all summer while Jonathan's family grieved. I doubt he's stopped now."

"That _boy_ has a name Mom. It's Jace! And he's not the same! There's no complete proof he even killed Jonathan! He's changed!" I was infuriated.

"Oh please. Who else would have done it? And the boy hasn't changed! He's a walking time bomb! Didn't you hear about the fight he had with Sebastian? Your boyfriend?! He beat him up for no reason! And you're defending him!" She yelled at me.

"Jocelyn…takes it easy." Luke murmured in the background.

Oh no. They didn't know…they didn't know I had broken up with Sebastian. Or that Jace fought with him for _me_. Holy crap. How was I supposed to explain this?

"See he's trouble and you know it Clary. Okay, look. I don't mind a bit of chit chat between the both of you, but, I don't want you hanging out with him. You don't want to get a bad reputation. You could lose everything you are working for. I don't want you to be effected by him." My mother reasoned. She didn't understand. She never would. I didn't know how to tell her about what happened with Sebastian, especially not in front of Luke.

"Mom… I broke up with Sebastian." I murmured.

"What? Why?" My mother demanded. Luke looked uncomfortable.

"I'm just going to step outside." Luke muttered, walking out of the kitchen.

"He tried to convince me to doing things I didn't want to do…he almost hurt me Mom." I said quietly.

"Are you sure?" She asked, shocked.

"I think I'm pretty sure when someone's trying to force me into sex." I scoffed at her.

"Oh my. Are you okay Honey?" She asked, worriedly.

"Yes Mom. I dealt with it." I said gently.

"Well, did you have sex?" She asked quietly.

"No Mom. I'm only sixteen." I groaned at her.

"I know, I know, but you're turning seventeen in less than three months…"

"Mom, just listen to me. I broke up with Sebastian, because…" I told her, looking at the ground, taking a deep breath. "Jace and I are dating."

I looked up to see her eyes widen and she burst out laughing. She literally collapsed with laughter.

"What's so funny?" I asked her, agitated.

"That's funny!" My mom continued laughing.

"Mom, I'm not joking." I scowled. When she stopped laughing and realised from the look on my face I was not joking…things turned unpleasant.

"What?! You're dating? How? That's impossible! Me and your father were gone for a week! A week!" She yelled at me.

"Mom, please. Stop yelling and try to understand. I really like Jace. He isn't who you think he is. If you just got to know him you would understand!" I tried reasoning with her. "I've liked him for a long time. We recently got close and we make each other happy."

"I can't believe this is actually happening." My Mom's fingers raised to the bridge of her nose as she groaned. After a few seconds she raised her head. "Clary, you are ending your relationship with that boy as soon as you see him again."

"W-w-what?!" I spluttered.

Was this actually happening?

"Yes Clary. You cannot be with that boy. I refuse to let you be with him. He murdered someone for God's sake! Are you blind?! That boy is a train wreck; he will only drag you down with him and ruin you! If you stay with him you'll be high on cocaine and pregnant by the end of the flipping month! You deserve better. I won't let you be with him! Luke won't either. Your dad and I are home for the week. You're grounded for the entire time we are here. You are not allowed to see the boy. I'll take you to his house so you can end it when I get the time, but, until then, I want your phone. You have to tell him in a way he'll know it's from your heart. I know boys like him keep trying till they get what they want. If he knows you're saying it from the heart he'll let it go. I'm sorry this sounds so cold Clary, but it has to be done. You can't be with a murderer."

Luke then walked in at this moment. He would help me. He always helped me.

"Okay, I've overheard enough of this conversation to know what's going on. I'm sorry Clary, but, I have to take your mother's side. Being with Jace, as nice as a guy I'm sure he is to you, won't be doing you any favours, that's for sure in this town. You're going to have to end it Honey." Luke said gently, with pitiful eyes.

"I can't believe this. Luke! No Mom. Understand! Please!" I cried at her. I didn't want to end it with Jace. We were just starting. We had only been together for like four days.

"You also know swimming and cheerleading is what you are working on with your scholarship. If you lose that you won't be able to go to college you want. Your father and I are trying, but, it's not easy. We need to be able to trust you while we both work out of the city. If you get a bad reputation by hanging out with that boy, if you grades lower, behaviour changes…other stuff, you will lose it all!" she continued.

"That won't happen mom! He's not like that! You don't know Jace like I do!"

"Look Clary. You are only sixteen. You think you know what love is, but, you don't. This is just a past time. Maybe a way to rebel, I don't know, but, do it with any other guy, just not Jace Herondale, okay? You're ending it with that menace. Now give me your phone." She held out her hand. I tried to hold back the tears and I shoved the phone in her hand.

"I'm very disappointed in you Clary. I thought we raised you better, I thought you'd knew the kind of guy you should look for." She huffed. "I just can't believe you went for the worst guy, Sebastian was a really nice guy."

Did she totally forget what I told her about Sebastian? Are you fricken kidding me?

I rolled my eyes and I averted them from looking at her disappointed ones. I knew if I looked at her I'd cry. I couldn't believe how judgemental she was being. She was always so kind to me, especially with my issues. She always understood my decisions. Why couldn't she understand this?

I walked away from her and walked up the stairs to my room. I had told Jace I would text him. Damn it. I slammed the door. I grabbed the nearest pillow, screaming into it while tears ran down my face. I couldn't believe this was happening. Why was she being like this? Sure there was _really _bad gossip about Jace, but, nobody could prove it was true and in the courts Jace had testified he was innocent. There was no honest to God truth it was him expect for what had happened earlier before the incident, but, even then that couldn't prove it.

My bedroom door opened a couple of hours later and my mom stepped through. She had my phone in her hand and looked sympathetic. I hopefully thought she had realised she was being too rough on me and was going to start understand where I came from.

"Clary…here take your phone." I quickly grabbed it from her and clutched it to my chest, feeling hopeful.

"Ring the boy." She said.

"What?" I whispered.

"Ring him. End it now. On loudspeaker. It makes an easier job than having to go over there. I'll take the phone back as soon as you're done."

"You can't make me do this!" I cried. "This isn't fair."

She took a seat next to me. "I'm only doing this because I care. You two wouldn't last Clary. It's just young love. I'm doing you a favour. He would have broken your heart in two like a twig. Ring him."

This is what I hated about my mom. Because of the sperm donor she was so hard hearted and refused to believe in love. She found it eventually with Luke, but, she was never the same. I wasn't surprised that what she thought Jace and I had couldn't possibly be real or work out.

"Ring him Clarissa. I won't ask again." She said stonily.

I rubbed my nose with the edge of my shirt and shakily brought up his name in my phone. I pressed the call button and waited for him to pick up.

"Hey gorgeous." My Mom raised her eyebrow. God, couldn't she let me do this alone? "What's up? How did things go at home? Happy to see the folks?" He asked gently. Please Mom, please see the nice guy he is through his words.

"Yeah things went fine. Great actually, but, I need to talk to you Jace. It's about us."

"Oh. What about us?" He asked warily.

"These past few days have been fun. Really fun, but, I don't think we can carry on like this. It's too much Jace. I think it's better off we went our separate ways. We could just say this was a test trial that never worked out, huh?" I said, trying to lighten the mood, hopefully he couldn't hear my sniffles. My mom nodded her head at me.

The line went silent for a while. At first I thought he had hung up on me.

"What the fuck?" His venomous voice rang out. My mom cringed at his language. "You're breaking up with me? What about everything you told me? About how you always had a crush on me? You've always wanted this! Why are you ending it? Was this some kind of sick joke you popular chicks decided to play on me or something? Are you trying to fuck with my head? Was it all a bunch of lies?!" He yelled angrily through the phone.

My mom nodded her head frantically, shaking her hands, telling me to go along with what he said.

"Yes. Yes it was Jace. I'm sorry." I cringed, trying to suffocate the sob that wanted to erupt out of me.

"You're sorry? Sorry?!" He yelled at me wildly. "And over the phone? Really? So cliché. Does Isabelle know about this?"

"No. She had no idea." I wasn't going to get Isabelle involved in this. She was going to kill me for hurting Jace like this.

"I can't fucking believe you. After everything…God, you were just lying? I believed you were one of the good ones! Not like the rest of them. Not a bitch, not a bully, not a SLUT! Guess I was wrong, huh?" he scoffed in disbelief. "You're just like them. I just thought…God I'm a fucking idiot. So you never really felt anything? This was just a fucking joke between you and your friends?"

"Yes." I whispered. He thinks I'm a slut…I'm not surprised, after everything we did, then me saying this…

"What? Did you make the whole school act like they hated you? Were you bullshitting me that people treated you bad while I wasn't there to see it happen? Was Sebastian in on it?" he asked viciously.

"Yeah. It was all one big joke on you."

"C'mon Clary, if you're messing with me, now's the time to tell me. Please." He begged.

"I'm not joking Jace. We're over. It was fun while it lasted."

"It was less than five fucking days." He said cruelly.

"I know. So it should barely hurt you right? You'll get over it."

"God I can't fucking believe you. You're one hell of an actress Clary. I'll give you that." He muttered.

"Yeah whatever. Bye Jace."

"Okay then. Have a nice life. Good fucking bye." The phone cut off.

I wanted to scream. To run. To jump out the nearest window. Tears ran down my face.

"You'll realise Clary I saved you years' worth of pain there. Just listening to that crude language of his, I know he's trouble. You'll find someone you'll really love one day Clary. Like he said, it was only five days, you'll move on." My mom smiled at me. She slid the phone out of my numb hand. "Do you want anything? Some food?" She asked. She really thought she was doing me a favour.

"I'd like to be left alone." I said, numb.

"Okay honey." She smiled at me. She closed the door behind me and left me in the darkness that was my room and soul.

…

…

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**MUAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA. OMG. Clary's mom is a bitch! WTH RIGHT? WHAT IS GONNA HAPPEN NEXT?! REVIEW TO FIND OUT MORE! ;) I deeply apologise like I did earlier. I hope you guys read the note above the chapter :) review, favourite and follow! :) I tried my hardest :D stayed up all night to write this again lmao :( its 7:38 am as we speak! :) REVIEW!**


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